Having 2 is so much harder than I thought it would be

I knew going from 1 to 2 would be hard but this is so much harder than I anticipated. The first 6 weeks of DD's life my DS was in preschool and that gave me the time I needed to pay attention to DD. Now that DS is home for the summer I feel like I am so overwhelmed. I feel like I just don't have enough of me to go around. I feel guilty when I'm not paying attention to DD and I feel guilty for having changed DS's whole world by introducing this needy baby who occupies his mommy's time. I feel guilty I can't do the things with him this summer that we've always done together each summer that I'm off. For moms of 2, how do you balance it all? How do you give each one the attention that they need? DS is very attached to me and is having a hard time with the fact that I'm not playing with him all the time. Luckily, he takes it out on me, not DD. He loves her to pieces. Please, I'll take any advice about how to balance it all!

Re: Having 2 is so much harder than I thought it would be

I still only have one so I don't have my own experience with this yet. But my BFF felt the exact same way when she had her second child. She said it's not twice as hard, it's ten times as hard (in the beginning). Her children are 2 years apart. They are now almost 5 and almost 3 and it is sooooo much better. I just wanted to say, from what I hear from other moms it's totally normal to be overwhelmed in the beginning and it will get much much better. It's an adjustment for everyone. Best of luck!

Having 2 is so much harder than I thought it would be

Remember this is just a "moment in time" - next summer you'll be doing all the fun stuff you're used to doing together! And why didn't you put your DS in camp?!?!

ETA:

Are you going back to work??

Message edited 8/8/2013 1:55:18 PM.

Re: Having 2 is so much harder than I thought it would be

Posted by InShock

Remember this is just a "moment in time" - next summer you'll be doing all the fun stuff you're used to doing together! And why didn't you put your DS in camp?!?!

ETA:

Are you going back to work??

Re: Having 2 is so much harder than I thought it would be

You will find a routine. Before you know it they will be best buddies and the baby will be a litle stronger and able to sit up and be amazed at everything DS does.

Re: Having 2 is so much harder than I thought it would be

I was lucky because DD2 was SUCH an easy baby! I was able to give DD1 plenty of attention still because DD2 just slept and hung out.

I actually find it more difficult now that DD2 is older because now they both demand attention and are a bit jealous of eachother. It's still not too bad though.

Just remember- this too shall pass! When your little one gets a bit more self sufficient, things will be easier.

Give your DS plenty of attention while DD naps, don't feel guilty leaving the baby with DH or a sitter for a few hours to spend time alone with DS (or leave them both and give yourself a break!)

I assume your DS is still adjusting. He will get used to it sooner or later and things will smooth out