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prunepie
LIF Adult
Member since 7/06 4357 total posts
Name:
jennifer
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really upset....please help me understand if its just me
i posted about eggs earlier...but the backstory is this....
my ds is 26pds and 80th percentile height and weight...docs are pleased and he is healthy. and edited to add he is 14m old
my mil is veryyyy in my business bc its her only grandchild and she loves him to death( and dh totally agrees that she is way too much sometimes).
we have had talks about how she tries to micromanage and how it hurts me and she agreed its an issue and she promises to work on it.
ok cool
now the problem that made me see red today was about eggs at first...we were talking and I said oh he loves them...he could eat three or four if I let him.
she was aghast and said even normal adults only would ever eat two. sothats when I started googling etc.
and then this...and its not the first time btw.
he is eating lunch and he is shoveling the turkey down...and she says kinda jokingly...oh slow down now braydon we don't want you to get overweight now do we?
and I inside lost it...but smiled and joked to her...oh and this is how eating disorders start hahaha
but I wanted to kill her.
the first time we met she asked me if I ever thought about losing weight.
she comments on my husbands tummy all the time and he is slender.
I am very overweight and battled my whole life so I am sensitive to how messages can start at an early age.
so I don't know if its bc I have my own issues.....or if you think this is something else I need to nip in the bud now kwim?
thanks for listening and any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!!!!!
Message edited 7/25/2013 3:24:07 PM.
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Posted 7/25/13 3:22 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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ndblovah
Be happy always
Member since 1/07 1880 total posts
Name:
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really upset....please help me understand if its just me
Can I say that I think she is a jerk. Don't mean to disrespect your mil but that comment was completely jerkie. I am sure some of you being made is your own sensitivity to it, but that is OKAY ! And as your MIL she should clearly get that without even being told that. Some people just have terrible ways of saying things. Sorry this happened
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| Posted 7/25/13 3:27 PM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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really upset....please help me understand if its just me
i would definitely speak to her about it... if she has done it before she will keep doing it and it will only get worse for you and then you will blow up on her... telling her that she is offending you plain and simple!
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| Posted 7/25/13 3:28 PM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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really upset....please help me understand if its just me
Talk to her...If she's saying these things to him now, she's going to say them to him forever and you don't want him having these things in his head.
She needs a filter.
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| Posted 7/25/13 3:37 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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really upset....please help me understand if its just me
I would def be having words with her......and most times when it comes to my DS i am not nice. I have made it perfectly clear to my MIL that he is my son and DH and I will raise him as we see fit.
As for the food comments I would (after words with her) try to ignore it or when she says soemthing squash it right then.
IMO your DS is not eating too much. Mine eats 10 yup 10 pancakes. to many that is not normal and even I don't think its normal but unless the Drs tell me he is overweight and needs to be restricted we let him eat what he wants.
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| Posted 7/25/13 3:43 PM |
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summerBaby10
let's be nice
Member since 9/07 10208 total posts
Name:
Wifey
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Re: really upset....please help me understand if its just me
That comment would would really upset me too. I agree with PP if she is saying these kinds of things around him now, what will she say to him in the future about his hair, clothes, etc. I'd let her know that it is not ok make negative comments about my children.
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| Posted 7/25/13 3:44 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: really upset....please help me understand if its just me
I think that was an obnoxious and passive agressive jab at you -
I wouldn't bring it up now - but when she says something again (and she will) be prepared to go back at her
first of all, he was eating turkey, or eggs not chocolate cake and ice cream - Sometimes my boys eat like it's their last meal, sometimes I can't pay them to eat anything all day -
If your son is healthy and happy and there is no weight concern, don't give her comments a second thought.
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| Posted 7/25/13 3:51 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: really upset....please help me understand if its just me
Posted by StaceyWill
Talk to her...If she's saying these things to him now, she's going to say them to him forever and you don't want him having these things in his head.
She needs a filter.
this
and for the record i can def eat like 3 eggs if i was hungry..mm on a roll with bacon and cheese
i thin it is a horrible thing to say to a kid at any age
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| Posted 7/25/13 3:58 PM |
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VikingChick
LIF Adult
Member since 5/11 1024 total posts
Name:
Anna
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really upset....please help me understand if its just me
ITA with the above posters!! Your MIL has no right to say anything to your kid about what he eats. Especially seeing that he is a toddler! My kids sometimes eat a ton at one sitting, and other times I couldn't pay them to eat more than a bite or two! At that age I would never restrict their intake of food (desserts, juice and the like are portion controlled). I would have a serious talk with her, b/c even though you were joking, that *is* how eating disorders start.
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| Posted 7/25/13 3:59 PM |
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Re: really upset....please help me understand if its just me
OMG!!! Nip this in the bud NOW!!! Who says that to a 14 month old! I would have lost my mind and my cool if my MIl or even my own mother dared say something like that to my child...especially when the Dr is pleased with his growth! I think she needs to know that she is no longer allowed to ever comment on weight, food, or eating habits to you DS...or she will be banned from all family meals!
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| Posted 7/25/13 4:02 PM |
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MrsYank
She's here :)
Member since 4/07 3238 total posts
Name:
Mrs. Yank
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Re: really upset....please help me understand if its just me
My mother is the EXACT same way! And it annoys the **** out of me.
DD eats too fast- "slow down"
DD doesn't eat xyz "shes so picky"
I try and get DD to try a new food "I never made food an issue with you." (yeah right)
Then today we were out for lunch, I order spinach pie and a greek salad (I am 6 months pregnant)- she says "That's a big plate-- are you going to eat all of that?" As she polishes off a chicken salad sandwich, bowl of soup AND DD's french fries I said-- now THAT is a big plate
It's annoying and I think you should parent your child how you want to. 
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| Posted 7/25/13 4:04 PM |
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VikingChick
LIF Adult
Member since 5/11 1024 total posts
Name:
Anna
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Re: really upset....please help me understand if its just me
I think she needs to know that she is no longer allowed to ever comment on weight, food, or eating habits to you DS...or she will be banned from all family meals!
Ha! This!!!
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| Posted 7/25/13 4:04 PM |
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Re: really upset....please help me understand if its just me
Posted by gina409
Posted by StaceyWill
Talk to her...If she's saying these things to him now, she's going to say them to him forever and you don't want him having these things in his head.
She needs a filter.
this
and for the record i can def eat like 3 eggs if i was hungry..mm on a roll with bacon and cheese
i thin it is a horrible thing to say to a kid at any age
Agreed! She needs to know that this can cause problems in the future
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| Posted 7/25/13 4:19 PM |
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KwaaksNest
Love my boys!
Member since 6/10 2825 total posts
Name:
Samantha
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Re: really upset....please help me understand if its just me
Posted by StaceyWill
Talk to her...If she's saying these things to him now, she's going to say them to him forever and you don't want him having these things in his head.
She needs a filter.
Def this, those comments were uncalled for and rude. I would talk to your DH and tell him how you feel about it, and if he doesnt do anything about then talk to her about it
Im extremely over protective of my two DSs and i would of called her out the spot if it was my MIL
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| Posted 7/25/13 5:07 PM |
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evnme
My little lamb
Member since 8/05 12633 total posts
Name:
aka momma2b
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Re: really upset....please help me understand if its just me
Your dh needs to talk to his mom and stop this right now. The kid will end up w a complex if she keeps it up.
Tell her the ped said his weight is fine and he would let you know if he was concerned.
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| Posted 7/25/13 5:18 PM |
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imyself
Member since 10/06 2938 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: really upset....please help me understand if its just me
Some people just can't stop themselves. I would have dh have a chat with her. If she continues when she says something laugh and say silly grandma comes out with the funniest thing. Me and you (meaning ds and you) know the doctor thinks you are a perfect weight. But then again I am passive aggressive when people don't listen to me.
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| Posted 7/25/13 5:28 PM |
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JoesWife628
Our family is complete :)
Member since 8/08 3934 total posts
Name:
Me
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really upset....please help me understand if its just me
Screw her. If she's concermed, there's a proper way to address it and this is not it. Maybe if she would indulge in a brownie every now and again, she wouldn't be such a rude b*tch. You are his mother; you know best. It seems to me he is developing good eating habits because he seems to eat variety of foods. That is wonderful. Good job, mama. Do NOT worry about your 14 month old's weight.
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| Posted 7/25/13 6:15 PM |
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Onemoretime
LIF Adult
Member since 9/12 1077 total posts
Name:
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Re: really upset....please help me understand if its just me
How does your doctor feel about dc's weight? if your doc is ok, tell your MIL that everything is fine, per your doctor. I have the opposite problem, my kids are 10%, and my MIL bitc#es about it all the time and tells me they need to eat more. My ds easily eats 2 hard boiled eggs and is a twig. My doc os fine with his weight, I also get annoyed w my MIL bc of her comments
It's crazy to me that kids ( and adults) can eat the same things , and weight is so different. Just depends on your body type
Message edited 7/25/2013 6:48:39 PM.
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| Posted 7/25/13 6:46 PM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
Name:
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Re: really upset....please help me understand if its just me
Sorry! That sucks!
I get very defensive when people say anything about my DD weight. I thank god she eats so well!
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| Posted 7/25/13 8:08 PM |
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Ltdentway99
LIF Adult
Member since 9/06 1752 total posts
Name:
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Re: really upset....please help me understand if its just me
I agree with you totally. I would tell her to never make comments about his weight. It is not her place. You are the mom and are responsible for him.
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| Posted 7/25/13 9:02 PM |
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really upset....please help me understand if its just me
I agree with the above posters...she needs to get off your plates!
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| Posted 7/25/13 9:10 PM |
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prunepie
LIF Adult
Member since 7/06 4357 total posts
Name:
jennifer
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Re: really upset....please help me understand if its just me
Thank you everyone!!!! I need to breathe and realize its her issue but not allow her to critique or in any way contribute to any neurosis to my ds. I am sure I will give him enough issues to deal with! Lol. I appreciate your support a lot. I need to stand my ground on this one and not let it slide!! Oxoxo
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| Posted 7/25/13 10:20 PM |
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BlessedMomma
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 6163 total posts
Name:
Momma Bear
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really upset....please help me understand if its just me
Yes im sorry im not trying to add fuel to your fire but that would push me over the edge and i would flip on my mil.
Im an adult, im thin and i eat 3 eggs at least 3 times a week. So wtf?! And i do believe thats how eating disorders are started or asking mommy whats wrong with me why does grandma say that
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| Posted 7/25/13 10:43 PM |
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