Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

My oldest starts preschool in September & I'm with you. I think kids are not allowed to be kids anymore with all the schooling demands so early on. My son knows a lot but I will not be drilling it into him this summer. September he will go in & learn. My mom was a teacher & never made us do schoolwork over the summer, it was fun time

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

It doesnt make you a bad parent! My kids need structure, and bc of my sons speech delay I have to do structured work everyday, if I went an entire summer with no work he would regress. I do understand where you are coming from and if I thought I was torturing my son I would stop, and you bet if its just a gorgeous day we are just outside enjoying it! For us I like the balance of work and play, and I change it up constantly so his "work" doesnt seem like work but a fun game.

Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

Doesn't make you a bad parent at all. You know best what your kid needs and how he would most benefit from spending his summer. Growing up we would do the summer reading program at the library, I always thought it was fun, they gave out stickers and there was an ice cream party at the end. We loved it. But we weren't doing planned lessons or brushing up on the upcoming year's curriculum. It was just enough to keep us interested in reading without taking away our summer.

On the flip side I'm sure if your son needed a little extra work you would do it. Like I said, you know what's best so enjoy your summer break!!!!

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

I think this is a genuine question.

My kids are 3 and 6. My oldest will do a nature camp and a couple other camps this summer. We will read bedtime stories with them and have DD practice her reading. That is it.

The summer will be a time for relaxation and fun in our home. Swimming at the pool, going to beach, the boat, vacations etc. No workbooks or structure. It's just not my philosophy. I'm not saying one is better or worse but I am not worried about any serious regression.

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

Posted by blue11

am I the only one at this thread?? lol.

I don't see anything wrong with what the OP asked. I think it depends a lot on the child, my DC is young now but depending on his needs and abilities will determine how much work we do over the summer. I don't think the OP said education wasn't important, simply asking how much others do.

Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

There can be moderation. I did NO work over the summer as a child. I played. It was AWESOME!!! But that's not how it is anymore. As a teacher, kids do need to work on their skills. IT doesn't need to be a lot. The most important thing to do is read. My mom signed me up for the summer reading club at the library. Every week, we borrowed books and I kept track of the pages read. Without realizing it, I was doing reading (duh) and math.

With my own son, I don't plan on doing hours of school work a day over the summer when he is that age, but we will definitely read every day and practice math. It doesn't HAVE to be boring. Even just 10 minutes a day can keep the brain going.

So while I think you are right, they need to have fun, I will be honest and say that they do need something to keep the concepts fresh. You can get a workbook and have them do 1-2 pages over breakfast. In a few minutes, they'll be done and they won't lose so much of what they spent all year learning.

Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

DD goes to ESY so she'll be learning through the summer...at home though I do not do much as I want her to relax and enjoy playing which I think is just as important at this age. I will though throughout the day indirectly teach...if I am at the store paying for something we may go over addition/subtraction/multiplication and coins and we do read every night and look up words in the dictionary. I do not though sit her down and "teach" her. Each child is different and needs different level of supports while school is not in session. Do what you think is right for your own child and don't worry about what anyone else is doing.

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

I am pregnant with my first so this just got me thinking...

When I was a kid, my parents worked full time. I remember just being outside on my bike all day long. And I did gymnastics a few days a weeks in summer so I did spend a good amount of time there. But I never remember doing anything "academic" or anything like that. At night my sister and I would pick a movie and my dad would put it on and we would fall asleep to it. I had straight A's growing up. Of course everyone is different.

I agree that these are different days. With all the "Teach your baby to read" and things, kids are learning so much more so early, and there's so much pressure with all the testing etc, I think summer should definitely be a a more relaxing time, so I don't think you are a bad parent at all! I wish I had summers back lol.

I do think each child is a different scenario. Some kids retain more than others, etc.

Message edited 5/24/2013 5:50:01 PM.

Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

I am not playing school with my kids in the summer, never have. We read books, and participate in many reading clubs (library, movies, bank, Barnes and noble, etc.). We also go to museums, etc. And they will break out a dollar store work book during our vacation drives. That's about the extent of it though. We don't try to be exceptional though. I am okay with average

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

....

Message edited 1/11/2014 10:29:13 PM.

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

Usually I'm really good about seeing both sides of a drama thread, but in this case, I truly think that the OP's question was totally legitimate. It sounded like she was getting concerned that she might not be doing enough structured academics with her kids over the summer. I think she was looking for validation that she wasn't the only parent who didn't stress this stuff over vacation.

My DD is only 11 months old, so I have no real opinion yet, but I think it really depends on the kid of student/learner your child is. I'd like to think that I would incorporate learning into our everyday activities, rather than making separate ?formal review time.

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

I can't believe anyone even thought the OP was being narrow minded..ridiculous!!

I agree with you OP!! My kids play all summer and we have a blast. Sure they read or are read to and we do occasional educational things..but the school year is so crazy demanding and I honestly believe its a mental resting period for them AND for me!! If I ever feel like they're slipping in skills I'll re-address and see what more I need to do, but for now I'm 100% with you!

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

I feel better knowing I'm not alone. I have to admit, DD is easy when it comes to school. Not bragging, she just gets it. DS will be different, I can tell.

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

I am working with DD1's K teacher to come up with activities for DD to do over the summer that will reinforce some of the skills she did in K and frontload some of the 1st grade skills. I know my kid, she needs this

She will also be going to Gymnastics camp 3 half days per week. I like her being active and physical, I think it will be great for her for the summer.

Other than that, we have out community pool, out backyard, a membership to a children's museum and the library to keep her busy.I don't want her sitting around in front of the TV all summer.

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

My oldest starts first grade in the fall and my youngest nursery school. My oldest will read at night,,which she normally does. The youngest will color, sign,,dance, etc. that's about it. No plans for them this summer. My oldest is a good student and likes to learn so I'm not worried about her for the fall.

The older one has swim lessons once a week and the youngest dance class. And swimming at the beach and our parents pools keep them busy.

Message edited 5/24/2013 9:40:40 PM.

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

We are going to do science projects this summer where he will practice writing results in a log.
I was to teach my 6 yr old cursive.
Weekends, summer...I have my kid writing all the time. It keeps their mind going.

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

WHOA! Someone needs to have a glass of wine or two on this Friday night.



OP: No you are not alone. I have a few grade level activity books that practice skills they learned and will expose them to next year but I will do them only if DC wants to.

We will read books so we can practice that but no, we are not doing school work over the summer. We treat summer as a break from school.

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

Posted by alli3131

Posted by blue11

am I the only one at this thread?? lol.

I don't see anything wrong with what the OP asked. I think it depends a lot on the child, my DC is young now but depending on his needs and abilities will determine how much work we do over the summer. I don't think the OP said education wasn't important, simply asking how much others do.

I had zero issue with the OP. and didn't see the need for snarkiness

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

I'm more of the "summer should be fun" mindset. But I also work during the school year, so summer is when I get to spend lots of time with my kids. It's my time to do day trips, play in the yard, go to the pool/beach. I don't really think about schooling them, just making memories with them. That said, we do still read every night. DS enjoys activity books- including math books. He also enjoys writing little stories. But none of that is done on any kind of schedule. It's done on down days or rainy days where not much is going on.

Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

Nothing like attacking a poster for no reason. People get so uptight around here I have to laugh it. It's absurd!!

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

No, you're not alone. I plan to continue reading to my DD every night, as we do now, but I want her out riding her bike, playing on the swings, swimming, and having fun during the summer. When the opportunity to teach presents itself, I will, but I'm not planning what we will learn over the summer. As it is now, by the time she gets home and does homework, dinner and bath, there is little time left for being a kid. That is what the summer is for. While I agree that more is expected of our kids than it was of us, academically, but she needs to be a kid too.

ETA: thinking more about it, I may sprinkle in some things like practicing her handwriting by buying her some new markers to use in her handwriting books. Maybe on a rainy day or something.

Message edited 5/25/2013 4:40:24 AM.

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

Honestly, I think the answer to your question depends on the child. Some children need extra help at home -they just do. It doesn't make them more or less smart - some just need that extra time and explanation. For these types of children I think it is important to work with them at home in addition to school to help them be the best they can - to give them confidence both in the classroom and out.

Other children, learn quick and doing extra at home is not necessary and is just redundant. It will likely just lead to them being bored in the classroom, burning out and will deprive them of enrichment learning you can do outside of reading, writing and math (going to zoos, museums, planetariums etc.)

Spinning off from the other thread - my DS just finished K. I remember stressing out last summer because I didn't have him in any learning type activities - we didn't do workbooks, kumon etc. And, again, during the year I stressed because I kept hearing kids had tutors, were going to kumon, Huntington learning center etc. But, I'm not this type of mom. Well now, it is the end of the year - DS is thriving - he is reading on a second grade level (per his teacher) and way ahead in math as well and overall is ahead of his peers that have done all this tutoring and kumon. When I talked to his teacher about it in the beginning of the year she tried to explain this to me but, I always thought the more you push them the more they excel but, in the end - it's not true.

SO my point after all this...EVERY CHILD IS DIFFERENT. One child may not need the extra work at home and in that case you are needlessly pushing them - but, another may need that extra work to reach his full potential so - I think it's hard to post a blanket question like this - does it make you a bad parent? probably not. But, to say that all parents should just leave the learning to school (which is not what you are saying I think anyway) - is kind of an over-generalization.

Message edited 5/25/2013 9:27:38 AM.

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

First, I can't believe the comments of some people on here! How anyone read the op in a negative way is beyond me.

Im a kindergarten teacher and i completely agree with you! Yes, some kids need the structure and learning all summer long to keep up, but there is nothing wrong with having fun in the summer.

Kids need to socialize, have fun, and experience life! This will also help them in school. They will gain prior knowledge by going places, and doing things. I completely believe that making learning fun and teaching them with real life experiences is just as benificial as working with school books. Read to them (have them read to you) for fun with books they enjoy, point out numbers and count while at the grocery store, play "ispy" while driving pointing out shapes, letters, numbers, ect..