Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

I see these posts about what people will be doing during the summer or before school starts, to work on skills and such with our kids.

Am I the only one who just wants my kids to enjoy summer? DD will be in 1st grade and DS will start pre-school next year. I do the occasional going over shapes and colors with DS, and do abc's and stuff. I just feel like they have the school year for learning. And time home with me is fun time.

Am I the only one?

ETA. For clarification. Was really wondering if I am the only parent out there with a laid back summer approach. Not saying that parents who teach their kids are bad. Or that their kids are not having fun. Wondering if I am doing enough. Do I need to have structured learning time? Are the lazy days of summer over?

Message edited 5/24/2013 2:28:11 PM.

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

I dont think you are a bad parent but it is important to practice skills/concepts they have learned or to even teach new skills so there isnt regression and so an interest in education remains. I also think that experiences over the summer (going to the zoo, park, trips etc) are very important for their education as well. It gives them Prior knowledge that they will need in school.

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

My kids aren't in school yet but I totally agree with you. I think kids never just get to be kids. I'm not saying I won't be reading to my kids over the summer or won't take opportunities to go over some math but I don't want my girls whole summer tied up in scheduled activities, and scheduled academic learning unless they need the extra help. I think there are many learning opportunities in every day things, trips to fun places. I don't think you need to sit down with a tutor or take lessons to learn everything.

Message edited 5/24/2013 12:25:08 PM.

Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

I think summer is for fun… but there’s SOOO much time. And while she’s this age her brain is just so spongy, that it seems a shame to waste it. Plus I think learning CAN be fun. I don’t think of it as torture or taking away from summer fun.

I don’t think a person is a bad parent for not thinking of things. Actually I probably think you’re a better parent than me, because I KNOW I get so tied up with my life, my job and the day to day blah that I need to try to have something to FOCUS on for her. I need to keep MYSELF motivated to work with her.

Does that make sense?

But do I think ‘school is for learning’? No, I don’t. Teachers do the best they can but they have set curriculum and the students (and teachers) must follow them. She and I break things down to small things, so the question “why” is multi-level. I am trying to set up basic things to HELP her.

I think EVERYTHING is a learning thing. We all learn something new every day or it gets boring. There is no negative consequence to not picking up or working on a skill. It’s just out there to make the world more fun. I think explaining to her how groups work is fun because she plays with it in public, like the 10s.. now those funny symbols aren’t just things.. it’s a game.. “I saw that 30 before mama did” and look there’s a 40!

This doesn’t mean she’ll be nose in a book .. she’s 4!!! Zoo and Sea World as well as Six Flags are in her summer plans. As are days at the park and mini kid amusement park.

Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

Not a bad parent. My DS isn't at that stage yet but growing up with a teacher as a parent the only time my mom had us doing things during the summer was when I moved from one state to another and they were ahead on certain things in the new state and the summer before my SATs.

I turned out to be a smart kid.

I think unless my DS is really behind I am not teaching all summer.

Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

Of course you're not a bad mom!

My DD is still little, but I still throw a little learning into everything. When you're cooking you can go over colors, out at the park you can go over shapes, when grocery shopping go over numbers.

Kids LOVE learning, so asking her to count the apples in a bag, or find 4 yellow things at the park isn't a drag, its fun for them!

Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

I don't think you are a bad mom at all. It is more about balance and maintaining skills learned during the year for me. We have a ton of fun things planned for the summer but at the same time I will be working with them too. I also planned some low key down time days as well. I think you need to find what works for your family. But with that I will say my son was expected to know so much more than I thought he would need to know for kindergarten.

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

For some reason your post struck a nerve with me. I didn't read your post that you really needed a question answered, it almost sounded like you were on a soapbox.

In my opinion you are implying that parents that work on skills during the summer are doing an injustice.

Some parents with children with learning disabilities or other challenges need to be consitent, thus the need to continue skill development even while school is out of session. Additionally in my eyes you post gives the impression children who work on skills during the summer will not enjoy the summer or have fun.

So if you need to pat yourself on the back for taking a break go ahead but do not judge others that do not follow your same philosophy.

Message edited 5/24/2013 1:41:16 PM.

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

I definitely read to them every night. Sing songs on the fly. Teach them new things, again on the fly. But I don't have structured learning activities. I find myself taking the opportunity when it presents itself. KWIM

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

We have a rule that the girls have to read one book per week. If they do, we go to pizza hut at the end of summer. Our son requires extra help at school so we need to stay on top of his skills to keep him at a certain level.

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

I understand where you're coming from, but at the same time I don't completely agree with you.

Are kids today more structured/overscheduled/pressured than previous generations? Yes! I am the first one to say that I try to limit the number of extracurriculars we take on, so that there is still ample time to just unwind, play freely, be creative, etc.

But... being a kid today is DIFFERENT than it was in previous generations. Look at the academics... my son did more in kindergarten than I did in first grade when I was growing up! As much as I want them to just enjoy their summer, relax, be unstructured, I also don't want them to enter their respective grades in September and realize they've forgotten a ton of stuff, and their classmates are far more on top of things than they are.

So I do try to work with them on at least SOME academic things during the summer. It's just the world we live in.

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

"Apparently I'm judgemental and narrowminded.
"


I'm glad you realized this page 1 of the thread and not waste anyone's time on a Friday.

Message edited 5/24/2013 2:26:02 PM.

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

am I the only one at this thread?? lol.

I don't see anything wrong with what the OP asked. I think it depends a lot on the child, my DC is young now but depending on his needs and abilities will determine how much work we do over the summer. I don't think the OP said education wasn't important, simply asking how much others do.

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

Posted by blue11

am I the only one at this thread?? lol.

I don't see anything wrong with what the OP asked. I think it depends a lot on the child, my DC is young now but depending on his needs and abilities will determine how much work we do over the summer. I don't think the OP said education wasn't important, simply asking how much others do.

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

Posted by AngnShaun

Posted by blue11

am I the only one at this thread?? lol.

I don't see anything wrong with what the OP asked. I think it depends a lot on the child, my DC is young now but depending on his needs and abilities will determine how much work we do over the summer. I don't think the OP said education wasn't important, simply asking how much others do.

Absolutely!

You had to reach far down to come up with that interpretation of her post!

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

Posted by Katareen

Posted by AngnShaun

Posted by blue11

am I the only one at this thread?? lol.

I don't see anything wrong with what the OP asked. I think it depends a lot on the child, my DC is young now but depending on his needs and abilities will determine how much work we do over the summer. I don't think the OP said education wasn't important, simply asking how much others do.

Absolutely!

You had to reach far down to come up with that interpretation of her post!

I agree also! I can see where some threads get out of hand but this one makes no sense!

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

Posted by blue11

am I the only one at this thread?? lol.

I don't see anything wrong with what the OP asked. I think it depends a lot on the child, my DC is young now but depending on his needs and abilities will determine how much work we do over the summer. I don't think the OP said education wasn't important, simply asking how much others do.

Re: Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

must be friday. two of these responses are

Am I the only one? Does this make me a bad parent?

Honestly, people on this site internalize and personalize everything like it's an attack on their very existence. Do you and don't worry about anyone else because they sure as hell aren't worrying about you!