disciplining a 20m old

looking for any methods that have worked. One of my twin girls just started hitting, biting, throwing things, aggressively taking toys from her sister, has gone back to pulling hair, she is just suddenly more aggressive. She has always been the dominant of the 2, but it has been taken to a new level.

Nothing has changed at home. When the hair pulling started happening at 12m, we started using a modified timeout. she was placed in a play pen that had a few toys in it and given no reaction. We tried many other methods first.

Re: disciplining a 20m old

I would try a full on Time Out for the hitting, biting, hair pulling. Turn all your attention to her sister, after time out apologies to sister and mommy/daddy.

Toy grabbing - sister automatically gets toy with an explanation and modeling of how we share.

Toy Throwing - the toy goes into toy time out. For Toy Time out place the toy in a specific spot where she can see it but not reach it for a specific period of time.

Terrible 2's are fun.

Re: disciplining a 20m old

in addition to what PP said, try to push her to use words. I find that now that my DD is saying more words her behavior is getting less aggressive. Just a thought. Hope it helps.

Re: disciplining a 20m old

I would definitely implement Time Outs at this age. I did with DS and even now at 3.5 they work great.

I'd suggest you give your DD a warning. Be very specific about what the problematic behavior is when you issue the warning. If she does it again, put her in time out. Put her somewhere where she is safe and away from toys etc (not a bedroom, etc). Just find a space where she can sit and wait out the TO. For my son I used my entry way. It's about a 3x2 ft space (i'm guessing) and I'd make him sit and face the door. It worked well bc if I had to implement a TO anywhere else (eg my parents house) I could put him in a similar location. Do not speak to your child or make any eye contact during the TO. This is key. For her age I'd do 2 minutes. After the TO is done get down to her level and ask her why she was in TO. Since she's so young you can answer for her if necessary. "You are in TO bc ......" and have her say sorry at the end. Then hug her and let her know everything is ok.

GL! (I wouldn't start putting her in TO for all the negative behaviors right away. Start with something like hitting and when it's clear to her what is expected and the consequences, then add in another behavior)

Re: disciplining a 20m old

I agree 100% with pnb! Perfectly said. Also, knowing where she's likely to do these behaviors is important, so you can be proactive and get in there ahead of time to provide the language needed instead of hitting and pulling, and also to "catch her being good" And give her praise and attention for appropriate behavior....

Re: disciplining a 20m old

I'm glad you asked this! I'm in a similar situation. The other super annoying thing he does is throws all of his food, plate and cup when he's had enough. Now I have to sit there and feed him one bit at a time with the plate off of his high chair instead of him feeding himself.

How do you get your LO to stay in TO? My DS does not "get it". I put him in the corner (How elementary school teacher of me LOL) and he thinks it's funny even though by my voice and my face he should realize it's not. Then its a game to get him to stay. Should I set up the pack and play and use that? I was told never to use his crib.