if you are FTWM...how do you do it..

I know this has probably been discussed A LOT on here but I just have to ask...How do you guys do it? How do you cook when you get home? Do you even cook every night?

I have 2 small kids that just don't sit still. And the youngest won't sit in her high chair. She just wants to be free. I am just having a hard time these days cooking. I am just not one of those people that spends the weekends cooking for the week. I just can't do it. So I will basically cook the same easy things every day and my DH complains that I cook the same things. I know I do but I just have no desire to make creative things when I come home. Let alone with 2 toddlers.

Please tell me I am not alone!!!

Message edited 5/20/2013 1:56:51 PM.

Re: if you are FTWM...need advice

You are definitely NOT alone! I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old and from the minute I get home until usually after bath time it is usually nothing but chaos in our house, lol! My DS also HATES sitting in the high chair. I try to do a lot of cooking on the weekends or after the kids go to bed. Very rarely do I whip something up from scratch when I get home. There just isn't enough time. This weekend I made pizza and chicken cutlets. So I will give them one of those and then I'll cook up a veggie on the side. I also plan to utilize my crockpot a little more regularly. It's tough to cook after everyone's gone to bed but I feel it's the only time I can sometimes get things done. I also always have sauce made and ready to go on those days I have nothing I can always just boil up some pasta.

It's definitely not easy

Re: if you are FTWM...how do you do it..

My DH told me the other night that I don't cook for him anymore I could have knocked his front teeth out right then and there.

I don't cook as much as I use to before we had DS. Once in awhile I will make something on Sunday for the beginning of the week or prepare something the night before for DH to throw in the oven when he gets home.

DS eats at my moms before I get there. I will either eat something at my mom's or make something small and easy for myself - I can totally eat cereal for dinner and be fine.

DH won't do cereal. He gets home 2.5 hours (sometimes earlier) than I do. There is NO reason why he can't make himself something. I tell him all the time - pretend you're single and that I'm not walking in that door in a few hours. What would you do besides take out?

By the time I get in at 7:00 - the last thing I'm doing is cooking, when I still need to get DS ready for bed, make lunches and straigten up.

In your defense when I do find the time to cook - its pretty much the same simple dishes - roasted chicken, pasta and fresh tomatoes and garlic, steak and tub of mashed potatoes etc...

Message edited 5/20/2013 2:04:17 PM.

if you are FTWM...how do you do it..

Ok I only have one toddler and I don't cook every night. So, hat's off to you for doing more than I do and you have TWO toddlers. I haven't done it lately but one thing that's always made life easier is the crockpot. This way you can set it and forget it and I try to make enough for 2 nights worth of dinners. If you search on here there are a bunch of threads with crockpot recipes or "dump chicken" if you're looking for ideas. But you are absolutely not alone! I used to enjoy cooking and now I really don't have much time for it.

Re: if you are FTWM...how do you do it..

I have an 11 month old, went back to work when she was 11 weeks, and still have not mastered cooking. When I do cook, I try to make enough for leftovers. My DD is very active, and into EVERYTHING. She does not like to be strapped in her high chair, even with the TV, so it can be tough to cook before DH gets home. If it's something that just goes in the oven, that's easier, because I can set a timer and play with her. DH and I eat very late. He often doesn't get home until 7:45, and even when he does get home closer to 7, we wait to eat until DD is in bed.

Honestly, I'm not a natural cook to begin with. I think that if I was, I'd find it easier. I'm also not one of those people who can cook a lot on the weekend for the week. We're almost never home!

if you are FTWM...how do you do it..

I think I am ok with my "schedule" only because DH helps. I too make easy things. I have always been that way though so DH never expect any different. We also grill tons which is DH's job.

I think you need to get him more on board with things. If DS is in the right mood I can cook with him around but otherwise I tell DH that he needs to keep him entertained.

Its hard with one and I am sure I would not be so ok with it if I had two to worry about.

Or can you have your DH cook??? I think the key is to get the men to be flexible on things.....we decide on dinners each night. I don't do much planning and will not cook a weeks worth of food ont he weekends either.

Do you crockpot it??? If so I would def start. THere are millions of things t make in it and minimal prep before or after.

if you are FTWM...how do you do it..

I get home late, so DH is in charge of cooking. I do all of the planning (deciding what we'll have on what days, doing the shopping and prep work) and he makes dinner when he gets home with DD. Once or twice a week I make dinner in the slow cooker (I'll prep it before I go to bed and then pop it on in the morning before I leave). We only do simple meals during the week, more involved meals are saved for the weekends. How old are your DC? You can give them tasks to do to help (set the table - or at least put out napkins, pick up and throw out anything that falls on the ground, taste-testing).

And if your DH complains, tell him to help out with the cooking.

Re: if you are FTWM...how do you do it..

It is very hard and like you said we kinda of rotate the same easy dinners. Now that the weather is better DH does BBQ and I will make a simple side dishand there is really like no clean up which is great. Also we get take out 2x a week.

Message edited 5/20/2013 2:13:14 PM.

Re: if you are FTWM...how do you do it..

I HATE to cook - I make no secret of it.

I do what I can, when I can - but I am NOT the person who makes dinner top priority -
I also have 3 very picky eaters, DH the worst.

For me it's a bit easier b/c they like what they like and they're very specific about it - I use the grill ALL YEAR long for DH ......
it's annoying b/c the kids eat separately from us .......sometimes I don't even eat.

I'm not thrilled w/ the arrangement - pr proud of myself - but sometimes you do what you have to do -

I'm physically out of the house for a 12 hours a day that my Mother was home - it's not possible to do all of the things that she did as a SAHM - You CAN NOT do it all, something has to give.

Re: if you are FTWM...how do you do it..

Posted by BriBri2u

My DH told me the other night that I don't cook for him anymore I could have knocked his front teeth out right then and there.

I don't cook as much as I use to before we had DS. Once in awhile I will make something on Sunday for the beginning of the week or prepare something the night before for DH to throw in the oven when he gets home.

DS eats at my moms before I get there. I will either eat something at my mom's or make something small and easy for myself - I can totally eat cereal for dinner and be fine.

DH won't do cereal. He gets home 2.5 hours (sometimes earlier) than I do. There is NO reason why he can't make himself something. I tell him all the time - pretend you're single and that I'm not walking in that door in a few hours. What would you do besides take out?

By the time I get in at 7:00 - the last thing I'm doing is cooking, when I still need to get DS ready for bed, make lunches and straigten up.

In your defense when I do find the time to cook - its pretty much the same simple dishes - roasted chicken, pasta and fresh tomatoes and garlic, steak and tub of mashed potatoes etc...

Re: if you are FTWM...how do you do it..

Throw chicken in marinade the night before and just grill it either that night or right when you get home from work the next day.
We use a lot of steamer bags of vegetables and 90 second bags of rice.
Rottisserie chickens are always easy to grab on your way home and it will already be hot. Or keep it in the fridge and great it in the oven for 30 minutes before dinner. That 30 minutes is plenty of time to make a veggie, or pasta, or salad, or Mac n cheese, etc...
Buy chicken/meat and vegetables that are already chopped for you. It costs a little more, but all the work is done. Toss it all together as a stir fry. Serve with 90 second rice.
Jarred pasta sauce can be a lifesaver. Or if you prefer, make a big batch and freeze.
Soups can be made the night before (after the kids are in bed) and they freeze really well.

Re: if you are FTWM...how do you do it..

Re: if you are FTWM...how do you do it..

Re: if you are FTWM...how do you do it..

Posted by forevermylilgirls

Posted by BriBri2u

My DH told me the other night that I don't cook for him anymore I could have knocked his front teeth out right then and there.

I don't cook as much as I use to before we had DS. Once in awhile I will make something on Sunday for the beginning of the week or prepare something the night before for DH to throw in the oven when he gets home.

DS eats at my moms before I get there. I will either eat something at my mom's or make something small and easy for myself - I can totally eat cereal for dinner and be fine.

DH won't do cereal. He gets home 2.5 hours (sometimes earlier) than I do. There is NO reason why he can't make himself something. I tell him all the time - pretend you're single and that I'm not walking in that door in a few hours. What would you do besides take out?

By the time I get in at 7:00 - the last thing I'm doing is cooking, when I still need to get DS ready for bed, make lunches and straigten up.

In your defense when I do find the time to cook - its pretty much the same simple dishes - roasted chicken, pasta and fresh tomatoes and garlic, steak and tub of mashed potatoes etc...

yep, I do the same simple dishes because that's what I can do when I get home..simple! He told me he is sick of pasta with sauce and chicken cutlets! ugh

Re: if you are FTWM...how do you do it..

Re: if you are FTWM...how do you do it..

Re: if you are FTWM...how do you do it..

Posted by BriBri2u

Posted by forevermylilgirls

Posted by BriBri2u

My DH told me the other night that I don't cook for him anymore I could have knocked his front teeth out right then and there.

I don't cook as much as I use to before we had DS. Once in awhile I will make something on Sunday for the beginning of the week or prepare something the night before for DH to throw in the oven when he gets home.

DS eats at my moms before I get there. I will either eat something at my mom's or make something small and easy for myself - I can totally eat cereal for dinner and be fine.

DH won't do cereal. He gets home 2.5 hours (sometimes earlier) than I do. There is NO reason why he can't make himself something. I tell him all the time - pretend you're single and that I'm not walking in that door in a few hours. What would you do besides take out?

By the time I get in at 7:00 - the last thing I'm doing is cooking, when I still need to get DS ready for bed, make lunches and straigten up.

In your defense when I do find the time to cook - its pretty much the same simple dishes - roasted chicken, pasta and fresh tomatoes and garlic, steak and tub of mashed potatoes etc...

yep, I do the same simple dishes because that's what I can do when I get home..simple! He told me he is sick of pasta with sauce and chicken cutlets! ugh

That's when I would hand him the take out menu or a cookbook. Seriously, I told my DH - 'what you don't know how to read a recipe?"

I told him I will have dinner on the table for him every night but I need to be a be a SAHM for that to happen - he walked away

Sometimes I wonder how some men survive on their own

Re: if you are FTWM...how do you do it..

You are definitely NOT alone. Being a FTWM is no joke when it comes to getting our daily tasks done...especially cooking.

The thing I do that makes a world of difference is to make EXTRA food for any given night. For example, if I make chicken cutlets I make plenty extra to put over a nice big salad for the next night or to make a quick chicken parm (cheese -> sauce ->bake -> done!). Leftovers of any dish go a long way in saving time. Also now that its getting nice out..grilling is great too. Marinade some London Broil...throw it on the grill and done. Many days while dinner is cooking I may start prepping for the next night's dinner...that saves time too.
Quick and easy is the way to go for my family Monday thru Friday

Message edited 5/20/2013 2:27:35 PM.

Re: if you are FTWM...how do you do it..

You are NOT alone. I have all these ideas about cooking on Sundays for the week or taking out the crock pot during the week, but I never do it. I get home before DH and have 30 minutes to make the girls dinner (they are 1 and 3). I'm exhausted and usually end up making the same few things for them. When DH comes home he makes US a nice dinner and I always feel guilty that the girls got a quick meal and we have a nice meal (we eat when they are in bed). I'm home Friday-Sunday and those days I really try to make "nicer" lunches and dinners for the kids.

Re: if you are FTWM...how do you do it..

I used to cook. I don't anymore and I only have one.

My hubby makes most all meals these days. I take her and entertain her while he cooks and he also cleans!

I still find time to sneak in the kitchen and its getting easier as she's old enough now to 'help'.

But 'same meals' all the time? PFFT. I'm grateful for every morsel my husband cooks up for me. I will never and have never EVER complained about a meal put in front of me that I didn't cook myself. It was a basic manner taught to me.

And one I'm teaching my daughter. She once complained she wanted pasta, veggies, chicken nuggets AND hot dogs.. not just veggies and nuggets (like she originally asked) and had a fit at the table. I sent her to her room angrily after she refused to apologize to daddy. You do NOT toss a fit over food. He cooked it as YOU asked him to, so eat it and ask nicely for more or something else. But you do NOT be mean to daddy who worked hard on that meal. YOU didn't cook it, YOU didn't help and this is what YOU asked for!! Ticked me off to no end.

She cried and whined and wallowed in misery in her room. She called to me and said "are you mad at me" Yes, I am disappointed because you were mean to daddy. I made her apologize to him and damn spiffy she ate what was put in front of her!


We eat the same things all the time.

Rib Eye Pork steaks
Lemon Pepper Salmon
Rosemary Garlic Lemon Chicken
Pasta with meatballs
Chicken fried steak (in a pinch)
Sloppy Joe's
Tacos or Enchilladas (my meal)
Ribeye Steaks

Rotate and repeat in any variation depending on available ingredients

Specials are:
Lasgana
Chicken Pot Pie
Stir Fry
Meatloaf (mine again)

When I do cook meatloaf, I chop up all the ingredients the night before (or a day or two ahead if necessary) so it saves me time.

I also do all the baking on weekends.

We both work full time and a for a bit I worked part time on top but I just NEVER complain about his meals and he knows I'll buy whatever he needs. I keep my mouth shut and thank him for EVERY single meal he puts in front of me, like its the first time he's ever cooked.

It was important when I was dating that men I date cook, clean and are able to care for themselves. I could never coddle a man, no matter how hot he looked or how great in bed. I wanted a man to stand with me in my life. So I got lucky that my hubby is a GREAT cook.

You just need to accept that in the beginning.. meals won't be the same. I think its much later that you get the stuff like that back. Like when they are in college!

Re: if you are FTWM...how do you do it..

I work FT and have two DC (ages 2 and 5). I get up at 5 in the morning to work out and make lunches for myself and children, shower, do my hair and make up before I wake them up to get ready and off to daycare. On days my older DC has tball after work, those are crock pot dinner days. We have a strict diet of gluten free and dairy free so a lot of take out is not an option for us. I cook about every night, meaning we don't eat until after 7. My kids get baths every other night and go to bed by 8. I always make extra at dinner for either lunch the next day or leftovers another night of the week. Laundry gets done on the weekends. I pick something to clean every day (bathrooms, toy room) but the kitchen gets cleaned every day. It's definitely not easy but once you find a groove it all works out. Although I will say I never sit down!

Re: if you are FTWM...how do you do it..

Posted by forevermylilgirls

Posted by BriBri2u

My DH told me the other night that I don't cook for him anymore I could have knocked his front teeth out right then and there.

I don't cook as much as I use to before we had DS. Once in awhile I will make something on Sunday for the beginning of the week or prepare something the night before for DH to throw in the oven when he gets home.

DS eats at my moms before I get there. I will either eat something at my mom's or make something small and easy for myself - I can totally eat cereal for dinner and be fine.

DH won't do cereal. He gets home 2.5 hours (sometimes earlier) than I do. There is NO reason why he can't make himself something. I tell him all the time - pretend you're single and that I'm not walking in that door in a few hours. What would you do besides take out?

By the time I get in at 7:00 - the last thing I'm doing is cooking, when I still need to get DS ready for bed, make lunches and straigten up.

In your defense when I do find the time to cook - its pretty much the same simple dishes - roasted chicken, pasta and fresh tomatoes and garlic, steak and tub of mashed potatoes etc...

yep, I do the same simple dishes because that's what I can do when I get home..simple! He told me he is sick of pasta with sauce and chicken cutlets! ugh

Re: if you are FTWM...how do you do it..

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by forevermylilgirls

Posted by BriBri2u

My DH told me the other night that I don't cook for him anymore I could have knocked his front teeth out right then and there.

I don't cook as much as I use to before we had DS. Once in awhile I will make something on Sunday for the beginning of the week or prepare something the night before for DH to throw in the oven when he gets home.

DS eats at my moms before I get there. I will either eat something at my mom's or make something small and easy for myself - I can totally eat cereal for dinner and be fine.

DH won't do cereal. He gets home 2.5 hours (sometimes earlier) than I do. There is NO reason why he can't make himself something. I tell him all the time - pretend you're single and that I'm not walking in that door in a few hours. What would you do besides take out?

By the time I get in at 7:00 - the last thing I'm doing is cooking, when I still need to get DS ready for bed, make lunches and straigten up.

In your defense when I do find the time to cook - its pretty much the same simple dishes - roasted chicken, pasta and fresh tomatoes and garlic, steak and tub of mashed potatoes etc...

yep, I do the same simple dishes because that's what I can do when I get home..simple! He told me he is sick of pasta with sauce and chicken cutlets! ugh

Then I would tell him- "if you are so sick of it, feel free to use the stove and come up with something different"
It's not just YOUR job to cook.
He can cook too.
You both work.

Message edited 5/20/2013 2:58:21 PM.

Re: if you are FTWM...how do you do it..

I have 3 kids (3 and under) and work FT.

I get home at 5 and DH gets home at 645, so I have the time in between to cook.

The biggest thing I do to help myself is to meal plan! I make a plan every Saturday, do the food shopping and then it's pretty easy from there.

I have a basic template that I follow... 2 nights chicken, 1 night pasta, 1 night pizza, 1 night "other" and 1 night appetizer night.

As far as chicken, we try to eat organic free range, so it can get expensive. I usually stick to thighs and drumsticks because they're cheaper. I roast with veggies, marinate & grill, bread and bake, etc. Switch up the sides and it's like a whole new meal! Pasta is easy and always quick! For pizza, I make the dough every other week and freeze half. While the pizza stone is heating up for 30 minutes, I make a quick sauce and top the pizza with veggies, cheese, pepperoni, whatever. Appetizer night is every Friday and that's simple, no-cook. We do some meat, cheese, crackers/baguette... simple! We eat in the living room and the kids love it. For "other" - it's usually something meatless. Could be cheese/veggie quesadillas, soup, sandwiches, fish...

We don't eat until 645 or 7, but that's just what works for us. For me, it's really important to me that I make healthy, homemade meals and that we all eat together as a family every night.

I'm personally not a big crock-pot lover, but you can definitely do something Satruday and Sunday and have leftovers for Monday/Tuesday (like roasting a whole chicken or pork shoulder).

Also, the kids all have leftovers for lunch the next day.

Re: if you are FTWM...how do you do it..