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Beachgirl59
LIF Infant
Member since 5/12 296 total posts
Name:
K
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Need advice
Message edited 5/16/2013 9:26:44 AM.
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Posted 5/1/13 10:50 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Paramount
Sweet!
Member since 7/12 4289 total posts
Name:
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Need advice
I dont think its all wrong to have a cash bar. At a wedding? Yes. At a christning? no.
He is demanding you do the party HE Wants....and its not his child nor is he paying for it. YOU make the decision and he can live with it.
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| Posted 5/1/13 10:57 AM |
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ThreeforTea
Girls just want to have fun..
Member since 5/12 7482 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Need advice
wait..why is your FIL telling you what to do for your child's christening!!!
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| Posted 5/1/13 10:58 AM |
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Beachgirl59
LIF Infant
Member since 5/12 296 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Need advice
Posted by forevermylilgirls
wait..why is your FIL telling you what to do for your child's christening!!!
Ugh trust me..it's the wedding all over again. he had so many demands but did not offer one penny.
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| Posted 5/1/13 10:59 AM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: Need advice
Honestly in light of the fact that FIL sounds like a jerk  I wouldn't have accomodated his need to have a huge party in the first place but since you already did I would do what you felt was best, punch seems fine, personally I would feel weird not paying the tab but if you are okay with it do it 
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| Posted 5/1/13 10:59 AM |
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Re: Need advice
Posted by Paramount
I dont think its all wrong to have a cash bar. At a wedding? Yes. At a christning? no.
He is demanding you do the party HE Wants....and its not his child nor is he paying for it. YOU make the decision and he can live with it.
I agree. I think cash bar at a Christening is fine.
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| Posted 5/1/13 11:00 AM |
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ThreeforTea
Girls just want to have fun..
Member since 5/12 7482 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: Need advice
Posted by Beachgirl59
Posted by forevermylilgirls
wait..why is your FIL telling you what to do for your child's christening!!!
Ugh trust me..it's the wedding all over again. he had so many demands but did not offer one penny.
then I would just do a small thing the way that you want. Screw that.
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| Posted 5/1/13 11:00 AM |
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ThreeforTea
Girls just want to have fun..
Member since 5/12 7482 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Need advice
You should do what makes you happy.
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| Posted 5/1/13 11:01 AM |
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MrsA714
Baby #2 is here!
Member since 8/07 8806 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice
How about doing just wine? Or wine and beer? That's what we did. And honestly, if it's still too much just don't do alcohol. It's a daytime party, alcohol isn't absolutely necessary. I mean, don't me get me wrong, I love my wine but guests will survive without alcohol.
But let me get this straight. FIL insisted on the big party and he's not contributing to it all? I would have DH say something to him about that.
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| Posted 5/1/13 11:01 AM |
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mrsboss
my little love
Member since 12/09 5054 total posts
Name:
Me
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Need advice
Can you do just wine & beer? I wouldn't be thrilled picking up a liquor bill in this particular situation.
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| Posted 5/1/13 11:02 AM |
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Beachgirl59
LIF Infant
Member since 5/12 296 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Need advice
Posted by MrsA714
How about doing just wine? Or wine and beer? That's what we did. And honestly, if it's still too much just don't do alcohol. It's a daytime party, alcohol isn't absolutely necessary. I mean, don't me get me wrong, I love my wine but guests will survive without alcohol.
But let me get this straight. FIL insisted on the big party and he's not contributing to it all? I would have DH say something to him about that.
'
Beer and wine package adds on like $8 per person and that's just too much. The only other option is to do caraff's of wine/beer on the table for $14, but what if some people don't drink it?
FIL has a way of making DH feel bad or guilty about certain things, so DH feels like we have to do the party for all his family becuase everyone else does it.
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| Posted 5/1/13 11:03 AM |
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MrsA714
Baby #2 is here!
Member since 8/07 8806 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice
Posted by Beachgirl59
Posted by MrsA714
How about doing just wine? Or wine and beer? That's what we did. And honestly, if it's still too much just don't do alcohol. It's a daytime party, alcohol isn't absolutely necessary. I mean, don't me get me wrong, I love my wine but guests will survive without alcohol.
But let me get this straight. FIL insisted on the big party and he's not contributing to it all? I would have DH say something to him about that.
'
Beer and wine package adds on like $8 per person and that's just too much. The only other option is to do caraff's of wine/beer on the table for $14, but what if some people don't drink it?
FIL has a way of making DH feel bad or guilty about certain things, so DH feels like we have to do the party for all his family becuase everyone else does it.
That stinks that you are in this situation. Some family members can be so annoying when it comes to stuff like this (I'm sure many of us can relate). But I think the punch is fine and don't think a cash bar is a big deal at all.
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| Posted 5/1/13 11:05 AM |
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Beachgirl59
LIF Infant
Member since 5/12 296 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Need advice
Posted by MrsA714
Posted by Beachgirl59
Posted by MrsA714
How about doing just wine? Or wine and beer? That's what we did. And honestly, if it's still too much just don't do alcohol. It's a daytime party, alcohol isn't absolutely necessary. I mean, don't me get me wrong, I love my wine but guests will survive without alcohol.
But let me get this straight. FIL insisted on the big party and he's not contributing to it all? I would have DH say something to him about that.
'
Beer and wine package adds on like $8 per person and that's just too much. The only other option is to do caraff's of wine/beer on the table for $14, but what if some people don't drink it?
FIL has a way of making DH feel bad or guilty about certain things, so DH feels like we have to do the party for all his family becuase everyone else does it.
That stinks that you are in this situation. Some family members can be so annoying when it comes to stuff like this (I'm sure many of us can relate). But I think the punch is fine and don't think a cash bar is a big deal at all.
Thanks for your advice! I know...if he would say "hey, i'll give you x amount of $ towards it" then it wouldn't be a big deal...but he never offers anything.
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| Posted 5/1/13 11:07 AM |
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BlessedMomma
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 6163 total posts
Name:
Momma Bear
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Need advice
I had a cash bar at mine. Its in the middle of the afternoon if you want hard liquor your paying for it not me. My restaurant included a bottle of wine on the table though...
But its def not tacky
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| Posted 5/1/13 11:14 AM |
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JenMarie
One day at a time
Member since 11/07 7397 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Need advice
I did cash bar at the baptism. It's not a place for alcohol IMO so if anyone wanted it, they paid for it. Do the cash bar and if your FIL has a problem with it, let him pick up the tab.
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| Posted 5/1/13 11:25 AM |
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Beachgirl59
LIF Infant
Member since 5/12 296 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Need advice
Thank you all so much! I think i'm def gonna just do the cash bar. Let them drink the Punch bowl if they want their alcohol fix.
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| Posted 5/1/13 11:29 AM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Need advice
I did a cash bar for my DS's christening, it was at 11 in the morning. My parents wound up picking up the tab...but I didn't think people would be drinking at 11 am.
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| Posted 5/1/13 11:32 AM |
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AllyMally
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/13 881 total posts
Name:
Alyson
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Need advice
I think when you have kids is the time to put your foot down. Yea the wedding was a mess because of him, but this is not about you or your DH this is about your DS. I would do this. If you haven't already invited people above and beyond I would say to FIL Look we do it small and that's what we want. If you want it larger that's fine, but we can not see spending that kind of money on a Christening. If you already invited people then put your foot down now and say Look this is to much. We are uncomfortable with this many people and the expense. This is a day about celebrating DS NOT about the number of people there. We are having XYZ for food and punch. If anyone wants a drink they will be able to purchase one at the bar.
Wedding cash bar- tacky as all helll
Christening cash bar- why even serve alcohol? I don't get it. Just because you're old enough to drink doesn't mean you HAVE to have alcohol at every.single.function. I promise people will not die from punch, water, juice, coffee.
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| Posted 5/1/13 11:37 AM |
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Beachgirl59
LIF Infant
Member since 5/12 296 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Need advice
Posted by AllyMally
I think when you have kids is the time to put your foot down. Yea the wedding was a mess because of him, but this is not about you or your DH this is about your DS. I would do this. If you haven't already invited people above and beyond I would say to FIL Look we do it small and that's what we want. If you want it larger that's fine, but we can not see spending that kind of money on a Christening. If you already invited people then put your foot down now and say Look this is to much. We are uncomfortable with this many people and the expense. This is a day about celebrating DS NOT about the number of people there. We are having XYZ for food and punch. If anyone wants a drink they will be able to purchase one at the bar.
Wedding cash bar- tacky as all helll
Christening cash bar- why even serve alcohol? I don't get it. Just because you're old enough to drink doesn't mean you HAVE to have alcohol at every.single.function. I promise people will not die from punch, water, juice, coffee.
EXACTLY!! Thank you! I've had it with his demands. I purposely said to him yesterday that this is costing us more then we can afford right now, giving him every opportunity to say "hey, let me help out" but NOPE! Just continued to say "well...if you could invite this person it would really mean a lot" and then suggesting to add beer and wine which i right away said no to.
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| Posted 5/1/13 12:03 PM |
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Paramount
Sweet!
Member since 7/12 4289 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice
Posted by Beachgirl59
FIL has a way of making DH feel bad or guilty about certain things, so DH feels like we have to do the party for all his family becuase everyone else does it.
Dont allow him to make you feel guilty. I keep going back to that famous quote by Eleanor Roosevelt: 'No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
He cant make you feel guilty without your consent.
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| Posted 5/1/13 12:23 PM |
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Re: Need advice
Your party, your choice. If FIL doesn't like it he can pick up the tab himself!
We went back and forth on the bar thing with DD's baptism and opted to run a tab...people drink a lot more than you think on a Sunday afternoon, LOL. If he wants to include it might be better for him to just cover the PP cost.
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| Posted 5/1/13 12:33 PM |
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JsWife
His laugh, Her smile
Member since 12/06 2902 total posts
Name:
Patricia
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Re: Need advice
I would not get a drink package - total waste IMA considering the time and event. I would just have the restaurant run a tab. Personally, and it is JMHO, I think a cash bar at any party is tacky.
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| Posted 5/1/13 12:43 PM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Re: Need advice
Posted by forevermylilgirls
You should do what makes you happy.
Yup. If you keep letting him walk all over you he won't stop. Nip this in the bud NOW.
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| Posted 5/1/13 1:30 PM |
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Jugglemom
LIF Adolescent
Member since 3/12 809 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice
Posted by JsWife
I would not get a drink package - total waste IMA considering the time and event. I would just have the restaurant run a tab. Personally, and it is JMHO, I think a cash bar at any party is tacky.
This!
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| Posted 5/1/13 1:50 PM |
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Pray4Baby2010
<3 Cutest Giants Fan
Member since 10/09 5796 total posts
Name:
MB
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Re: Need advice
We ran a tab at DS's and it came out so cheap but our family is not drinkers
I think since you are providing alcoholic punch (did I read that right?) that's more than fine
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| Posted 5/1/13 1:56 PM |
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