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MrsA714
Baby #2 is here!
Member since 8/07 8806 total posts
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Re: Quite the dilemma
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by Karen
Some of these responses are really quite ridiculous! No one is saying they would turn the kids out onto the street without $$, but let's be realistic. There are very few of us who tomorrow could take on 2 or 3 more kids and NOT feel a significant financial pinch. Who among us could afford 2 or 3 more kids in daycare??? Or could sell their house tomorrow and buy a bigger one??
Would everyone make it work to the best of their abilities?? Of course!!! Would some pre-planning on the part of the parents make an absolutely horrible situation slightly better? Certainly!
This is how I feel and exactly what I mean, of course I would take them (which Ive said a few times) but I just dont understand why not plan for it while you still can? I just dont understand why you wouldnt?
So then I think you already know what you need to do. Sit down and speak to them about it. Problem solved. Maybe they never even thought of the kind of burden it might present to you and your family. Many people do not think or plan for the future. It seems odd to many of us because usually as parents that is something you do but you'd be surprised at how many people just live in the now. Don't have college funds for the kids. Don't have retirement plans. And so on.
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Posted 4/29/13 11:50 AM  |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
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Re: Quite the dilemma
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by Karen
Some of these responses are really quite ridiculous! No one is saying they would turn the kids out onto the street without $$, but let's be realistic. There are very few of us who tomorrow could take on 2 or 3 more kids and NOT feel a significant financial pinch. Who among us could afford 2 or 3 more kids in daycare??? Or could sell their house tomorrow and buy a bigger one??
Would everyone make it work to the best of their abilities?? Of course!!! Would some pre-planning on the part of the parents make an absolutely horrible situation slightly better? Certainly!
This is how I feel and exactly what I mean, of course I would take them (which Ive said a few times) but I just dont understand why not plan for it while you still can? I just dont understand why you wouldnt?
I understand that its good to plan ahead but I am just saying when I asked my brother and when my brother and sister asked me, there was NO mention of any financial issue. . .so if you bring it up with your BIL/SIL it may be a big shock like reading your OP was to me. . . I sat there and thought of where the best upbringing would be, who would teach her my values, who would continue her faith education, who would love her and never make her feel second - never thought about. . .oh and I will make sure to tell them what my life insurance pay out is. . .
I know I am over simplifying, but just be prepared for that if you do approach the topic with them.
Good Luck and I hope NONE OF US never have to deal with the reality of this 
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| Posted 4/29/13 11:51 AM |
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july4mrsO
Happy boy!
Member since 5/10 2867 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: Quite the dilemma
Posted by MrsA714
Posted by LadyBug1209
Posted by GioiaMia
I am sure their children would suffer more since their parents would be dead.
I have been told that I am a possible guardian for 4 children, 2 who will need lifelong care and I never once thought about the financial aspect of it. . . I am reading the OP and responses with my mouth wide open
I'm with you on this. I am the guardian for my brother's 3 children and the financial aspect was really the last thing on my mind when they asked me... I was honored that they chose us to raise their children should something happen to them. If God forbid we were to lose both my brother and SIL, we would do anything we could to make sure they were taken care of. Would it be a huge adjustment, of course! But I would never think of the $$ over caring for my niece and nephews... you do what you have to do in that situation.
I agree as well. Not that I don't understand where the OP is coming from. When DH and I have thought about this we always considered the expenses and burden on our choices. But even the most thought out, well laid plans can have problems too. But it definitely would have been the last thing on my mind for sure. I also come from a family of 'non planners' so that's probably why 
I agree with this. We have life insurance and I would never want to place a burden on anyone in my family if I could avoid it. So I plan for these things, like most of us do. But if I was asked to be a guardian by another family member, I honestly don't think it would cross my mind to ask them about life insurance. It may be the practical thing to do but I guess I'm looking at it from the emotional side. Of course I would be the guardian, no questions asked. Maybe I should think of it, but I don't think I would in that moment.
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| Posted 4/29/13 11:52 AM |
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Paramount
Sweet!
Member since 7/12 4289 total posts
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Re: Quite the dilemma
Posted by forevermylilgirls
Posted by LadyBug1209
Posted by GioiaMia
I am sure their children would suffer more since their parents would be dead.
I have been told that I am a possible guardian for 4 children, 2 who will need lifelong care and I never once thought about the financial aspect of it. . . I am reading the OP and responses with my mouth wide open
I'm with you on this. I am the guardian for my brother's 3 children and the financial aspect was really the last thing on my mind when they asked me... I was honored that they chose us to raise their children should something happen to them. If God forbid we were to lose both my brother and SIL, we would do anything we could to make sure they were taken care of. Would it be a huge adjustment, of course! But I would never think of the $$ over caring for my niece and nephews... you do what you have to do in that situation.
Agree with you ladies.
And I hope you all are not in a position to EVER think about it.
You dont have any idea what its like to care of a special needs child, both parents are dead, and there is little help except the governments $800 a month.
My family? We make it work because we HAVE to. We wish wish wish that the child in OUR lives was taken care of so we, as a family didnt have to struggle now. We love this child, but the child IS a burden because of financial issues. Because the parents didnt have any life insurance..other things were way too important.
Thats not what she is saying, and its not fair. If push comes to shove and there is an emergency? Of COURSE she would bring those children in, love them, support them.
And yes, "make it work".
There is NO question anyone would "make it work".
But knowing, right now, that *If* something were to happen and the parents are being 100% irresponsable. 100% selfish. 100% dropping the ball. 100% not following through. and 100% SHIFTING thier burden to others.
Knowing if somethng were to happen in the future, and the parents were to lazy to plan now?
I would be hesitatnt (on paper) to say yes to this as well.
The OP has a valid point. Parents DO die. Making sure the kids are taken care if something should happen should be something YOU tell the possable guardians.
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| Posted 4/29/13 11:57 AM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: Quite the dilemma
Posted by Paramount
Posted by forevermylilgirls
Posted by LadyBug1209
Posted by GioiaMia
I am sure their children would suffer more since their parents would be dead.
I have been told that I am a possible guardian for 4 children, 2 who will need lifelong care and I never once thought about the financial aspect of it. . . I am reading the OP and responses with my mouth wide open
I'm with you on this. I am the guardian for my brother's 3 children and the financial aspect was really the last thing on my mind when they asked me... I was honored that they chose us to raise their children should something happen to them. If God forbid we were to lose both my brother and SIL, we would do anything we could to make sure they were taken care of. Would it be a huge adjustment, of course! But I would never think of the $$ over caring for my niece and nephews... you do what you have to do in that situation.
Agree with you ladies.
And I hope you all are not in a position to EVER think about it.
You dont have any idea what its like to care of a special needs child, both parents are dead, and there is little help except the governments $800 a month.
My family? We make it work because we HAVE to. We wish wish wish that the child in OUR lives was taken care of so we, as a family didnt have to struggle now. We love this child, but the child IS a burden because of financial issues. Because the parents didnt have any life insurance..other things were way too important.
Thats not what she is saying, and its not fair. If push comes to shove and there is an emergency? Of COURSE she would bring those children in, love them, support them.
And yes, "make it work".
There is NO question anyone would "make it work".
But knowing, right now, that *If* something were to happen and the parents are being 100% irresponsable. 100% selfish. 100% dropping the ball. 100% not following through. and 100% SHIFTING thier burden to others.
Knowing if somethng were to happen in the future, and the parents were to lazy to plan now?
I would be hesitatnt (on paper) to say yes to this as well.
The OP has a valid point. Parents DO die. Making sure the kids are taken care if something should happen should be something YOU tell the possable guardians.
Thanks! I really do think it is a valid concern. Not to mention, is that the kind of life my SIL and BIL would want for their children anyway? I am being made to sound like unless someone gives me money, I am not taking care of these kids. When in fact, I am just trying to be financially responsible. I just dont understand why you wouldnt have the discussion while you still can? Instead of waiting until it is too late, and who ultimately suffers, both my children and theirs? Why just lie in wait for that to happen when having the discussion now means that ultimately the children are provided for? Why choose to bear such a financial burden, for the children to have to do with out, to struggle financially when a simple conversation can completely change the trajectory of the life these children will have?
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| Posted 4/29/13 12:08 PM |
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lynnd126
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2630 total posts
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Re: Quite the dilemma
Honestly, some people plan as if it's never going to really happen. I don't think she's a jerk or anything but just that in her mind it's almost like this honorary position she's giving you. Are you guys actually doing paperwork for this or did she just say it? I think your arrangement with your sister is great to give her an example with the life insurance.
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| Posted 4/29/13 12:16 PM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: Quite the dilemma
Posted by lynnd126
Honestly, some people plan as if it's never going to really happen. I don't think she's a jerk or anything but just that in her mind it's almost like this honorary position she's giving you. Are you guys actually doing paperwork for this or did she just say it? I think your arrangement with your sister is great to give her an example with the life insurance.
I dont even know, we were just chatting yesterday and literally in the middle of the conversation she just goes,
"well you guys would totally get the kids if something happened to us"
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| Posted 4/29/13 12:18 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Quite the dilemma
I have to play devil's advocate - for those saying "how could you?" and "I would never even THINK to bring that up it's my neice/nephew" or "her brother may be offended or put off" ......really?
Did you consider how their selfishness and lack of planning for their own children will affect YOURS (THEIR neices and nephews?)
I'm a practical person - I'm not one of those "everything will work itself out" people PARTICULARLY when it comes to things I can plan for, and control and do something about
I would NEVER EVER ask my sister to take on 2 additional children without significant financial support for those children - It would be a difficlut enough adjustment for her family, and my neice (and any other kids she may have) WHY would I be so selfish to make that adjustment more difficult of them, and my own boys, when there's something I could (and SHOULD) do to make that transition easier for everyone instead of 100X MORE difficult - I wouldn't even ask/expect my parents to do that ! To ME, you're doing me this amazing, huge favor by raising my kids if I am god forbid, gone - how selfish could I possibly be to not do everything in my power now, while I am here to be sure I could HELP you in any way? To continue to do something for my kids if I'm gone -
How could you be ok with the idea of putting a burden like that on someone you love? or their children? On your own children?
And even on your own spouse? I just do not undersatnd how someome with significant financial responsibilities could NOT have a Life Insurance policy !! - you're going to leave your spouse and kids with NOTHING? Even if you don't have kids - you have a mortgage, bills etc etc - You're going to leave your spouse w/ all of that added stress and misery if something happens to you?
totally irresponsible -
and I realize many people live for the day ......but sorry, if you want me to care for your children if you're gone, it better damn well not be at the expense of EVERYONE in the family !
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| Posted 4/29/13 12:19 PM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: Quite the dilemma
Posted by GioiaMia
I think that would have made me question my choice.
And I keep coming back to this in my head? Why, bc you have chosen to leave them with someone who is responsible enough to be able to want to give them the best life they can, to leave them with someone financially responsible? For not wanting anyone to go without and have to sacrifice if it can be prevented? For someone being concerned enough about the lives and futures of all of the children involved? Bc I want to make sure they can all go to college and have a roof over their head, dinner on the table, clothes on their backs and all still be able to do everything they are interested. For them to be able to play baseball if they want, be able to buy them a flute if they want to join band, be able to pay for dance lessons if that is one child wants? Why would you rethink that choice? Bc the person you chose is concerned enough to consider how they can best provide a good life for the children?
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| Posted 4/29/13 12:26 PM |
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NewlyMrs
Laugh-Live-Love LIFE!
Member since 10/06 14432 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Quite the dilemma
I applaud them for making a hard decision in who would take on that huge responsibility (my DH & I are still struggling with this). It's not wrong to ask their plans & voice your concerns (including financial, burial, etc).
BUT finances are a reality, & as parents that should be apart of their estate planning. We both have it, & I hope to never need it, but the reality is there & many don't plan. We have just as much for me, even as a SAHM, because if something happened to just me, my DH would need to worry about childcare, & being home more for our girls.
Message edited 4/29/2013 12:38:51 PM.
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| Posted 4/29/13 12:38 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
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Re: Quite the dilemma
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by GioiaMia
I think that would have made me question my choice.
And I keep coming back to this in my head? Why, bc you have chosen to leave them with someone who is responsible enough to be able to want to give them the best life they can, to leave them with someone financially responsible? For not wanting anyone to go without and have to sacrifice if it can be prevented? For someone being concerned enough about the lives and futures of all of the children involved? Bc I want to make sure they can all go to college and have a roof over their head, dinner on the table, clothes on their backs and all still be able to do everything they are interested. For them to be able to play baseball if they want, be able to buy them a flute if they want to join band, be able to pay for dance lessons if that is one child wants? Why would you rethink that choice? Bc the person you chose is concerned enough to consider how they can best provide a good life for the children?
Its ok that I dont agree with you LOL its going to be OK.
I dont consider those important aspects in raising children. I am not trying to act tough to prove a point, but you will find that in other previous threads about finances. I will never consider money (other than having enough food, stablity etc.) as an aspect as to waht makes a good parent in MYSELF or for any future guardians.
I have had the same exact experience as you - someone asked me to be their child's guardian, I asked someone else to be my child's guardian and not once did that cross my mind. . .and we were all raised together so maybe it has to do with how we were raised or maybe we are just idealistic. But I am just telling your how I see it, and how shocking it was to me to read the other side.
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| Posted 4/29/13 12:42 PM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: Quite the dilemma
Posted by GioiaMia
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by GioiaMia
I think that would have made me question my choice.
And I keep coming back to this in my head? Why, bc you have chosen to leave them with someone who is responsible enough to be able to want to give them the best life they can, to leave them with someone financially responsible? For not wanting anyone to go without and have to sacrifice if it can be prevented? For someone being concerned enough about the lives and futures of all of the children involved? Bc I want to make sure they can all go to college and have a roof over their head, dinner on the table, clothes on their backs and all still be able to do everything they are interested. For them to be able to play baseball if they want, be able to buy them a flute if they want to join band, be able to pay for dance lessons if that is one child wants? Why would you rethink that choice? Bc the person you chose is concerned enough to consider how they can best provide a good life for the children?
Its ok that I dont agree with you LOL its going to be OK.
I dont consider those important aspects in raising children. I am not trying to act tough to prove a point, but you will find that in other previous threads about finances. I will never consider money (other than having enough food, stablity etc.) as an aspect as to waht makes a good parent in MYSELF or for any future guardians.
I have had the same exact experience as you - someone asked me to be their child's guardian, I asked someone else to be my child's guardian and not once did that cross my mind. . .and we were all raised together so maybe it has to do with how we were raised or maybe we are just idealistic. But I am just telling your how I see it, and how shocking it was to me to read the other side.
I guess I am just as shocked as your side of it too.
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| Posted 4/29/13 12:46 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: Quite the dilemma
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by GioiaMia
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by GioiaMia
I think that would have made me question my choice.
And I keep coming back to this in my head? Why, bc you have chosen to leave them with someone who is responsible enough to be able to want to give them the best life they can, to leave them with someone financially responsible? For not wanting anyone to go without and have to sacrifice if it can be prevented? For someone being concerned enough about the lives and futures of all of the children involved? Bc I want to make sure they can all go to college and have a roof over their head, dinner on the table, clothes on their backs and all still be able to do everything they are interested. For them to be able to play baseball if they want, be able to buy them a flute if they want to join band, be able to pay for dance lessons if that is one child wants? Why would you rethink that choice? Bc the person you chose is concerned enough to consider how they can best provide a good life for the children?
Its ok that I dont agree with you LOL its going to be OK.
I dont consider those important aspects in raising children. I am not trying to act tough to prove a point, but you will find that in other previous threads about finances. I will never consider money (other than having enough food, stablity etc.) as an aspect as to waht makes a good parent in MYSELF or for any future guardians.
I have had the same exact experience as you - someone asked me to be their child's guardian, I asked someone else to be my child's guardian and not once did that cross my mind. . .and we were all raised together so maybe it has to do with how we were raised or maybe we are just idealistic. But I am just telling your how I see it, and how shocking it was to me to read the other side.
I guess I am just as shocked as your side of it too.
Thats why this site can be great. So now when you confront your SIL you will remember that not everyone has thought this out like you have or puts the same importance on it and you can be prepared for any response! Maybe she will see your side of it!
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| Posted 4/29/13 12:48 PM |
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Paramount
Sweet!
Member since 7/12 4289 total posts
Name:
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Re: Quite the dilemma
Posted by GioiaMia
Thats why this site can be great. So now when you confront your SIL you will remember that not everyone has thought this out like you have or puts the same importance on it and you can be prepared for any response! Maybe she will see your side of it!
How nasty can you possibly be?
Here is a mother, asking for advice about other children she could possibly take in her care. Having a responsable conversation about choices.
And all you say is "well, we told you so. If she freaks out, well, you deserve it".
I applaud the OP for being responsible. For thinking ahead. For being prepared. For asking the hard questions. For WANTING everyone to be comfortable with any choice.
And your response "you were warned if she is angry".
SMH.
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| Posted 4/29/13 1:09 PM |
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ThreeforTea
Girls just want to have fun..
Member since 5/12 7482 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: Quite the dilemma
Posted by Paramount
Posted by GioiaMia
Thats why this site can be great. So now when you confront your SIL you will remember that not everyone has thought this out like you have or puts the same importance on it and you can be prepared for any response! Maybe she will see your side of it!
How nasty can you possibly be?
Here is a mother, asking for advice about other children she could possibly take in her care. Having a responsable conversation about choices.
And all you say is "well, we told you so. If she freaks out, well, you deserve it".
I applaud the OP for being responsible. For thinking ahead. For being prepared. For asking the hard questions. For WANTING everyone to be comfortable with any choice.
And your response "you were warned if she is angry".
SMH.
I didn't take her response to be nasty. I *think* she was saying how when you post a question on this site, you will get different responses, which makes you understand different points of view. which is why this site is great.
Message edited 4/29/2013 1:16:57 PM.
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| Posted 4/29/13 1:15 PM |
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MrsA714
Baby #2 is here!
Member since 8/07 8806 total posts
Name:
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Re: Quite the dilemma
Posted by Paramount
Posted by GioiaMia
Thats why this site can be great. So now when you confront your SIL you will remember that not everyone has thought this out like you have or puts the same importance on it and you can be prepared for any response! Maybe she will see your side of it!
How nasty can you possibly be?
Here is a mother, asking for advice about other children she could possibly take in her care. Having a responsable conversation about choices.
And all you say is "well, we told you so. If she freaks out, well, you deserve it".
I applaud the OP for being responsible. For thinking ahead. For being prepared. For asking the hard questions. For WANTING everyone to be comfortable with any choice.
And your response "you were warned if she is angry".
SMH.
Maybe I'm missing it but I don't see where anyone got nasty  . The OP asked, "what would you do" and people responded. I think MOST everyone said yes it is great to plan ahead and have all your ducks in a row BUT that it was not something that necessarily crossed everyone's mind right away or maybe even it all. Different strokes for different folks.
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| Posted 4/29/13 1:17 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Quite the dilemma
Posted by GioiaMia
I am sure their children would suffer more since their parents would be dead.
I have been told that I am a possible guardian for 4 children, 2 who will need lifelong care and I never once thought about the financial aspect of it. . . I am reading the OP and responses with my mouth wide open
 read my mind
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| Posted 4/29/13 1:17 PM |
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Paramount
Sweet!
Member since 7/12 4289 total posts
Name:
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Re: Quite the dilemma
Posted by forevermylilgirls
Posted by Paramount
Posted by GioiaMia
Thats why this site can be great. So now when you confront your SIL you will remember that not everyone has thought this out like you have or puts the same importance on it and you can be prepared for any response! Maybe she will see your side of it!
How nasty can you possibly be?
Here is a mother, asking for advice about other children she could possibly take in her care. Having a responsable conversation about choices.
And all you say is "well, we told you so. If she freaks out, well, you deserve it".
I applaud the OP for being responsible. For thinking ahead. For being prepared. For asking the hard questions. For WANTING everyone to be comfortable with any choice.
And your response "you were warned if she is angry".
SMH.
I didn't take her response to be nasty. I *think* she was saying how when you post a question on this site, you will get different responses, which makes you understand different points of view. which is why this site is great.
If I was wrong I will say so. The way I read that was "dont blame us when she blows up at you".
I will certainly admit I was wrong if I am.
And I will be the first say I am VERY close to this. I just CANT believe that people would say "I would question my decision" if someone asks about life insurance.
Both parents CAN die. I would *think* that, at the VERY least, one think the people taking the kids are responsible enough to make sure ALL aspects of the childs care are taken care of.
ETA: I just RE-READ her response. I agree I was wrong. This is me publicy saing I'm sorry for mis understanding that response.
Message edited 4/29/2013 1:27:04 PM.
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| Posted 4/29/13 1:24 PM |
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BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
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Re: Quite the dilemma
Posted by Paramount
Posted by GioiaMia
Thats why this site can be great. So now when you confront your SIL you will remember that not everyone has thought this out like you have or puts the same importance on it and you can be prepared for any response! Maybe she will see your side of it!
How nasty can you possibly be?
Here is a mother, asking for advice about other children she could possibly take in her care. Having a responsable conversation about choices.
And all you say is "well, we told you so. If she freaks out, well, you deserve it".
I applaud the OP for being responsible. For thinking ahead. For being prepared. For asking the hard questions. For WANTING everyone to be comfortable with any choice.
And your response "you were warned if she is angry".
SMH.
You need to relax, her response wasn't nasty in the least. It was a DIFFERENT opinion.
Geez...
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| Posted 4/29/13 1:27 PM |
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Karen
Just chillin'!!
Member since 1/06 9690 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Quite the dilemma
Posted by MrsA714
Posted by Paramount
Posted by GioiaMia
Thats why this site can be great. So now when you confront your SIL you will remember that not everyone has thought this out like you have or puts the same importance on it and you can be prepared for any response! Maybe she will see your side of it!
How nasty can you possibly be?
Here is a mother, asking for advice about other children she could possibly take in her care. Having a responsable conversation about choices.
And all you say is "well, we told you so. If she freaks out, well, you deserve it".
I applaud the OP for being responsible. For thinking ahead. For being prepared. For asking the hard questions. For WANTING everyone to be comfortable with any choice.
And your response "you were warned if she is angry".
SMH.
Maybe I'm missing it but I don't see where anyone got nasty . The OP asked, "what would you do" and people responded. I think MOST everyone said yes it is great to plan ahead and have all your ducks in a row BUT that it was not something that necessarily crossed everyone's mind right away or maybe even it all. Different strokes for different folks.
Sorry but her post was totally condescending and actually belittling to people who have thought about the financial implications of taking on additional children.
I know not everyone is comfortable discussing financial matters, but the continued implication that those of us who have thought about it are lesser parents/guardians is just tiresome.
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| Posted 4/29/13 1:30 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: Quite the dilemma
Posted by Paramount
Posted by forevermylilgirls
Posted by Paramount
Posted by GioiaMia
Thats why this site can be great. So now when you confront your SIL you will remember that not everyone has thought this out like you have or puts the same importance on it and you can be prepared for any response! Maybe she will see your side of it!
How nasty can you possibly be?
Here is a mother, asking for advice about other children she could possibly take in her care. Having a responsable conversation about choices.
And all you say is "well, we told you so. If she freaks out, well, you deserve it".
I applaud the OP for being responsible. For thinking ahead. For being prepared. For asking the hard questions. For WANTING everyone to be comfortable with any choice.
And your response "you were warned if she is angry".
SMH.
I didn't take her response to be nasty. I *think* she was saying how when you post a question on this site, you will get different responses, which makes you understand different points of view. which is why this site is great.
If I was wrong I will say so. The way I read that was "dont blame us when she blows up at you".
I will certainly admit I was wrong if I am.
And I will be the first say I am VERY close to this. I just CANT believe that people would say "I would question my decision" if someone asks about life insurance.
Both parents CAN die. I would *think* that, at the VERY least, one think the people taking the kids are responsible enough to make sure ALL aspects of the childs care are taken care of.
ETA: I just RE-READ her response. I agree I was wrong. This is me publicy saing I'm sorry for mis understanding that response.
LOL I was going to say "when I TRY to be nice!!!"
Yes, I meant for that response to be supportive.
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| Posted 4/29/13 1:40 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Quite the dilemma
Dh and I are guardians to a lot of kids.
The money part does not scare me...I am way more concerned with how well behaved the kids are and hope they don't turn my life into a living hell.
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| Posted 4/29/13 1:51 PM |
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MRsFaTThead
NY GIRL IN TEXAS
Member since 6/10 5483 total posts
Name:
WHO GIVES A POO WHO GIVES A FUDGE !!
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Re: Quite the dilemma
wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
it's not kool to bring up money because it might hurt someones feelings!!!!!!!
oh pleaseeeeeeeeeeee
I see nothing wrong with bringing up LI when it comes to taking care of someones elses children. It's called PLANNING!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| Posted 4/29/13 1:57 PM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: Quite the dilemma
Posted by MarisaK
I have to play devil's advocate - for those saying "how could you?" and "I would never even THINK to bring that up it's my neice/nephew" or "her brother may be offended or put off" ......really?
Did you consider how their selfishness and lack of planning for their own children will affect YOURS (THEIR neices and nephews?)
I'm a practical person - I'm not one of those "everything will work itself out" people PARTICULARLY when it comes to things I can plan for, and control and do something about
I would NEVER EVER ask my sister to take on 2 additional children without significant financial support for those children - It would be a difficlut enough adjustment for her family, and my neice (and any other kids she may have) WHY would I be so selfish to make that adjustment more difficult of them, and my own boys, when there's something I could (and SHOULD) do to make that transition easier for everyone instead of 100X MORE difficult - I wouldn't even ask/expect my parents to do that ! To ME, you're doing me this amazing, huge favor by raising my kids if I am god forbid, gone - how selfish could I possibly be to not do everything in my power now, while I am here to be sure I could HELP you in any way? To continue to do something for my kids if I'm gone -
How could you be ok with the idea of putting a burden like that on someone you love? or their children? On your own children?
And even on your own spouse? I just do not undersatnd how someome with significant financial responsibilities could NOT have a Life Insurance policy !! - you're going to leave your spouse and kids with NOTHING? Even if you don't have kids - you have a mortgage, bills etc etc - You're going to leave your spouse w/ all of that added stress and misery if something happens to you?
totally irresponsible -
and I realize many people live for the day ......but sorry, if you want me to care for your children if you're gone, it better damn well not be at the expense of EVERYONE in the family !
ITA, we love and adore our nephew but it would be totally stupid and neglegent on my brother and SIL's part NOT to have an insurance policy!
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| Posted 4/29/13 2:06 PM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17795 total posts
Name:
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Quite the dilemma
Based on the way the discussion went it somewhat sounds like this is just their decision and it has not been put on paper yet.
I would maybe address her about setting a will up to make sure if something were to happen, god forbid, her wishes would be honored and it would be easier for the kids. When we set up our will, our lawyer spoke with us on a high level about what financial plans we have in place since we had to name the trustee as well.
You can get term life insurance for a very small price per month and it's definitely worth it if you have a mortgage and/or children.
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| Posted 4/29/13 2:09 PM |
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