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ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
Sometimes I see well-meaning parents who are doing it old- school (for lack of better term) and the kid is screaming and they are doing nothing except trying to talk to the child or walk him or her around. It rarely seems to work and everyone around them is disrupted.
Meanwhile, I want to throw them my device to use! 
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Posted 10/16/12 12:16 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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08BabySurprise
My Life. My Everything.
Member since 10/07 9151 total posts
Name:
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
Abso%^)#$lutely. When he starts getting restless at a restaurant and the food hasn't even arrived yet (he is 4) I give him the iPad and he plays (with it on mute) nice and quietly. When the food comes, the iPad goes back into my purse and he/we eat. And if I don't have the iPad with me I will give him the iPhone. It's a lifesaver for us and I don't give a ^)#*$^) what the other perfect parents with the perfect kids that can sit still for hours at a restaurant have to say about it. They can stare all they want. The alternative? I can take it away and you can listen to a whining/crying child while you eat.
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| Posted 10/16/12 12:19 PM |
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ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
^ yeah I think most people do it as a courtesy to others.
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| Posted 10/16/12 12:22 PM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
Posted by JennyPenny
No. I think it's unnecessary for US. I want my DDs to learn to behave themselves in all situations. I can't stand when I see it, honestly.
can i ask how you manage to do this? I am being serious with this question. Cause i have no idea and i would love to teach but at the age of 22 months all she will do is throw a huge tantrum and make a scene there is no reasoning with a child at this age, and i feel allwoing her to create such a scene is not fair to anyone else who is out trying to enjoy thier meal. I am ok with her making noise and having a small crying fit but if she is going to have a tantrum druing the whole time we are out i rather just give her my phone and let her do what she wants with it to calm her down.
The only solution i have is not to go with her which i normally dont.
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| Posted 10/16/12 12:24 PM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
Posted by 08BabySurprise
Abso%^)#$lutely. When he starts getting restless at a restaurant and the food hasn't even arrived yet (he is 4) I give him the iPad and he plays (with it on mute) nice and quietly. When the food comes, the iPad goes back into my purse and he/we eat. And if I don't have the iPad with me I will give him the iPhone. It's a lifesaver for us and I don't give a ^)#*$^) what the other perfect parents with the perfect kids that can sit still for hours at a restaurant have to say about it. They can stare all they want. The alternative? I can take it away and you can listen to a whining/crying child while you eat.
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| Posted 10/16/12 12:25 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
$10 bucks says that the ones who say "no way" either have never had experience with a difficult child or a lack of child care 
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| Posted 10/16/12 12:33 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
I do it as a courtesy to others enjoying their meal. I do it to keep my sanity. I don't give a f*ck what you do with your kid, and I could not give two sh*ts if you care what I do with mine 
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| Posted 10/16/12 12:36 PM |
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Eireann
Two ladies and a gentleman!
Member since 5/05 12165 total posts
Name:
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
And I don't give a $h!t what all those ill-behaved brats do with their iPads at the next table either!   I'm kidding, I'm kidding!!!
But my DC are not allowed to even touch my iPad or my iPhone in my house, so it's not happening at a restaurant either. Why? Because that's how we want it in our family.
To address another poster's question... I have taken more than a few long car trips with varying numbers of my DC at all ages (through 7, my DD's age now). These include four 10 hour (one-way) trips to NC. We used the DVD player ONCE during all these years. We just hated how it turned our DDs into zombies. I mean, it was great for us, but...
Also, to address yet another question... My youngest is just shy of two and yeah, he can get out of control...of course! We give him a warning or two and if he continues, my DH removes him until he is able to behave. It's worked every time. And we eat out at least 2x a week.
When I see people (and that goes for me too!) unable to go 20 minutes without checking their phones, I see a problem. I don't want my kids sucked into "electronica" at 7, 5, and 2.
And that's my .02!
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| Posted 10/16/12 12:38 PM |
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
Posted by headoverheels
$10 bucks says that the ones who say "no way" either have never had experience with a difficult child or a lack of child care
I used to be in the no way camp and I have easy kids.
Then I thought of that restaurant - I forgot which one? That had games on the table. Like a little wooden triangle with pegs? And I guess I correlated those toys with new age gadgets.
Not knocking anyone who does it differently. Do what works.
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| Posted 10/16/12 12:43 PM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by petunias
Not sure what the difference is between that and playing with a toy or the sugar packets or coloring on the kids menu.
They are all something to keep kids busy out at a restaurant.
I notice with most kids, my DD included, when they are on the IPad, or watching a movie, or playing on the Leap Pad they are more "zoned out". The electronics are more engrossing and I see that when my DD plays she isn't paying attention to what's going on around her, or the conversation, or the waitress talking to her etc. I think kids just get so locked in to the games they are literally off in another world sometimes.
When my DD is just coloring, counting sugar packets, or reading through a book she always has one ear open. She'll chime in on a conversation, she'll stop what she's doing if you talk to her. She's just more in the moment with us which I like. And in turn, we're more interactive with her throughout the meal. 
I agree with this answer on this. AJ and I will build stuff with sugar packets, we will color together on the paper and make up stories. We don't zone out but we get caught up so much we'll let her food come and sit.
I have given her my phone for games (educational blah blah) she is ok with them but it irrates me. She just spaces out. And taking it away from her is a terror. So my thought is, don't get her used to having it so handy. Which also means hubby and I don't pull out our phones. His stays on his hip and mine in my purse. We just don't interact with them. So she doesn't really see them as much.
As far as what did you do with a 20m old when you were out to eat? I held her, talked to her, played with her. She would walk me around the place, then daddy.
Can I say that its easier to eat now that she’s older? Gods yes. But she wasn’t 0m to 3ys forever. For me it was worth it. I’ve eaten with her in my arms asleep. We’ve taken turns eating. We’ve even asked one get served before the other and then trade. I never really thought it was odd.
I agree with PPs who say you do what YOU do with YOUR kid, end of story. I don’t CARE that other parents don’t do as I do. Do I think it’s sad and wouldn’t work for my family? Yes. Does it keep me up at night? No. I remember the boy with the trucks because I mean they were RIGHT there, come on dad, but I also respect those days when we as parents are barely holding it together.
As a part time cashier I got a customer with a 4yr old who was just having an all-out meltdown for chocolate, she was NOT giving in. Screaming, kicking, yelling, whining and getting louder. I just kept on going at the same pace with an easy grin. The lady finally looked at me with a grateful smile and said “You have kids, don’t you?” Sure do, she’s 4 “So is he. I can tell because you are acting like this isn’t happening” haha Yeah, fun aren’t they? Sounds like he’s got a bit of a cold in that cry “Yeah, just heard it too”. We both grinned she got her stuff and left. It was the lady behind her who said “and he never got the chocolate… mom wins this battle, but the war has only begun” ha!
The question was what do WE think of it. I think it’s a no for my family. I also think crocs are a no but I don’t care what others wear on their feet any more than I care what their kids are playing with when out to eat.
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| Posted 10/16/12 12:45 PM |
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Daisy32
Mommy
Member since 2/08 8081 total posts
Name:
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
Posted by headoverheels
I do it as a courtesy to others enjoying their meal. I do it to keep my sanity. I don't give a f*ck what you do with your kid, and I could not give two sh*ts if you care what I do with mine
If you let your kids play with an ipad while at a restaurant for a bit and it works for you....great!!!!
If your kid can sit there quietly and you don't need it....great!
To each their own.
No need for anyone to  pushing their opinions on others OVER AND OVER. Worry about yourself. Dont worry about my kid.... because (Ipad or no Ipad) he's awesome and he's happy and thats all that matters
Message edited 10/16/2012 12:52:25 PM.
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| Posted 10/16/12 12:47 PM |
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Salason
♥
Member since 6/05 9878 total posts
Name:
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
Posted by EatingMyVeggies
^ yeah I think most people do it as a courtesy to others.
exactly.
when it was just DS, i was very anti-electronics. but that kids LOVES restaurants and we'd take him to ultra-nice restaurants in the city and he'd be an angel.
Then DD came along and i started to understand it more... totally different kid, much more active AND they get each other all riled up. We eat out 2-3 times a week and they are generally vry well-behaved in restaurants so I always try to avoid/hold out as long as possible but they can tend to get loud together which is when i may resort to an iphone or an ipad. FWIW they only play games that are interactive though, mostly just coloring. I dont let them watch a show or movie during a meal bc I feel like they zone out and prob watch too much tv at home anyway but certainly dont judge those who do.
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| Posted 10/16/12 12:49 PM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
Posted by Eireann
Also, to address yet another question... My youngest is just shy of two and yeah, he can get out of control...of course! We give him a warning or two and if he continues, my DH removes him until he is able to behave. It's worked every time. And we eat out at least 2x a week.
i have done this and i was outside basically the whole entire time.
FWIW the last time i went was the only time i will gave my phon to her but i really dont see myself going out with her anymore and if i do i am sure she will get my phone again if she acts up 
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| Posted 10/16/12 12:52 PM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
nope. Will not be done with my family. My son is 4 1/2 and we go out to dinner often, him in tow. We bring a backpack of coloring books, some trains and/or small toys. Activity books, etc. We talk to him too.
We've gone out to dinner a few times with the whole family (9 month old in tow as well).
I'm old school, but in my family (i'm 1 of 5 kids)... if you didn't learn to behave at a restaurant- you didn't go. End of story. It was always a treat to go out to eat. If you wanted to go, you behaved or you'd be left behind. I plan to teach my kids the same.
Message edited 10/16/2012 1:33:27 PM.
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| Posted 10/16/12 12:54 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
Doesn't bother me.
If a family wants to enjoy dinner out without crying or upset, then who cares? Maybe the mom and dad want to talk and not get interrupted by cries every few minutes. If it keeps the peace and makes for a pleasant experience for the rest of the patrons, great!
For us personally, we didn't start really going out to dinner until the kids could behave. We don't bring electronics if we do dinner out, I don't think its necessary at the stage our kids are at....BUT...a few years ago I may have used it to keep Johnny quiet, lol!!
Until you have a 2 year old Johnny in a restaurant, you can't judge!! NOW he is a wonderful, quiet 6 year old boy who is a freaking delight at the dinner table, lol! Who would have known??
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| Posted 10/16/12 1:00 PM |
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GenLCSW
Baby # 3 is here!!!
Member since 7/05 21138 total posts
Name:
Genna
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
No way!!!
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| Posted 10/16/12 1:03 PM |
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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name:
Pomegranate5
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
It's great to teach your kids table manners starting at a young age. But some nights there is just no reasoning with a toddler. I know what that panic feels like when DC starts to have a complete meltdown and I haven't even gotten my meal yet. Even though I will try to avoid these things, sometimes they are a last resort to keep from making a scene.
It's when they start to get older and they can sit and engage in conversation for longer periods of time (5-6-7 years old) I think, for the most part, the ipad and video games are inapporpriate, or at least they will be in our family.
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| Posted 10/16/12 1:09 PM |
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maymama
my little loves
Member since 8/08 18453 total posts
Name:
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
Posted by headoverheels
I do it as a courtesy to others enjoying their meal. I do it to keep my sanity. I don't give a f*ck what you do with your kid, and I could not give two sh*ts if you care what I do with mine
you said what I wanted to, just with much more poise and eloquence  
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| Posted 10/16/12 1:09 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
we did it for dinners while we were on vacation in Italy and France, where the dinners were anywhere from 1.5 to 2 hours long and at his normal bedtime and he was 2.5 years old.
we tried the "normal" way for 2 nights and almost divorced b/c we were on the verge of leaving Italy without one fully enjoyed restaurant meal
as a general rule though, dinners out are family time. we do not bring the Ipad. as he gets older, that will surely be enforced even moreso. we play little games, sometimes we play "hockey" with two straws and the balled up wrapper" or talk or crayons of whatever.
so, my answer is I HAVE done it when I felt it was warranted. I don't care if people think I was being lazy. I call it resourceful and saving a marriage I am exactly the mom I want to be and whatever that means to anyone else is no concern of mine.
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| Posted 10/16/12 1:35 PM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
Posted by headoverheels
$10 bucks says that the ones who say "no way" either have never had experience with a difficult child or a lack of child care
Jacen has never been a difficult child. Difficult baby - you know the answer to that. But child... no he's not at all. He's very easy.
We have had our times at a restaurant where one of us took him outside, have given him a time out (outside) and so forth. We constantly explain the rules before we enter the restaurant so he knows what to expect. He also knows if he misbehaves, he won't go anymore. If he's having a bad day, doesn't nap that day, etc... we don't go out to eat that night.
Honestly, if i had a difficult child... we wouldn't bring him out. But Jacen learned rather quickly what was acceptable and what wasn't at a restaurant. I worked as a waitress for 10 years so there was no way i'd bring a kid out who didn't behave. But i will say... the last thing i'd do is give him the ipad or iphone. He just wouldn't get to eat out with us. He LOVES eating out at restaurants with us so threatening him not coming anymore, is usually enough for him to behave.
To each their own and i have no problem with others doing so with THEIR family/kids. But in our house... we won't be using them at the dinner table or at a restaurant.
Message edited 10/16/2012 1:40:20 PM.
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| Posted 10/16/12 1:38 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
the other twist to this is that we DO have childcare, pretty much whenever we need it, so generally when we go out with Luce it's b/c we WANT to do it as a family, not b/c we HAVE to. I am sure that makes a huge difference. if we wanted to keep him out of the experience, we'd just leave him with his abuela. no need to drain the battery on the Ipad.
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| Posted 10/16/12 1:48 PM |
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Waste06
Waste not, want not
Member since 6/06 7219 total posts
Name:
Lois Mom Mommy Mama Ma
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
Posted by headoverheels
I do it as a courtesy to others enjoying their meal. I do it to keep my sanity. I don't give a f*ck what you do with your kid, and I could not give two sh*ts if you care what I do with mine
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| Posted 10/16/12 1:50 PM |
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08BabySurprise
My Life. My Everything.
Member since 10/07 9151 total posts
Name:
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
Posted by headoverheels
I do it as a courtesy to others enjoying their meal. I do it to keep my sanity. I don't give a f*ck what you do with your kid, and I could not give two sh*ts if you care what I do with mine
LB you said it so much better than I did.
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| Posted 10/16/12 1:51 PM |
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HeyJude
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/07 820 total posts
Name:
p
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
We don't own an ipad or iphone so it's not a question for us. We bring books, crayons, coloring books. It is what works for us.
I don't care what strangers do with their kids, it's not my business.
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| Posted 10/16/12 1:53 PM |
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maybeamommy
Blessed beyond belief
Member since 10/07 17048 total posts
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Re: ipads at the dinner table, what are your thoughts?
Posted by headoverheels
I do it as a courtesy to others enjoying their meal. I do it to keep my sanity. I don't give a ***FUDGE*** what you do with your kid, and I could not give two ***POOPS***if you care what I do with mine
Okay, now I can agree
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| Posted 10/16/12 1:57 PM |
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