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Mama2Max
LIF Infant
Member since 3/12 228 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Wedding - Opinions Please
I'm suppose to be in a wedding in November, it's a family member but I really disagree with their union - although I'm willing to put that aside. I'm due early January. So I will be about 8 months, I guess. The wedding is in Key West. I will have my 2.5 year old DS, who is also in the wedding party. I'm really thinking of telling them it will be too much for me. The dress is fitted - she hasn't given me details yet, but I would have to figure out sizing (I haven't told them I'm pg yet). She also picked shoes out with 3" heels. The thought of managing DS, handling all the photos, 3" heels and the heat - yuck! Obviously I don't want to do it - but I don't want to cause any family drama!! Any thoughts? Would it be rude to say it's too much?
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Posted 6/21/12 8:37 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
JDubs
different, not less
Member since 7/09 13160 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding - Opinions Please
IMO I don't know if i would be up for traveling at this point and I am nearly 8 months... and especially if you have your DS to look after as well.. I am sure your family member will understand if you tell her that you will be 8 months by then and it will just be too much for you..
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| Posted 6/21/12 8:42 AM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17795 total posts
Name:
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Wedding - Opinions Please
How many weeks will you be? Airlines won't let you fly after 36 weeks and many Drs feel that you shouldn't fly in the third trimester.
It does sound like a lot - and Key West isn't the easiest place to get to or the most fun for a pregnant person (we went last year when I was 20 weeks and it was tough.
I would just say your Dr doesn't want you to travel that late in your pregnancy...
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| Posted 6/21/12 8:43 AM |
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Lara&Aidansmommy
For mom i miss u ETC ILOVEU
Member since 3/07 13921 total posts
Name:
ETC I LOVE YOU
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Re: Wedding - Opinions Please
Posted by ali120206
How many weeks will you be? Airlines won't let you fly after 36 weeks and many Drs feel that you shouldn't fly in the third trimester.
It does sound like a lot - and Key West isn't the easiest place to get to or the most fun for a pregnant person (we went last year when I was 20 weeks and it was tough.
I would just say your Dr doesn't want you to travel that late in your pregnancy...
THIS
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| Posted 6/21/12 8:50 AM |
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Mama2Max
LIF Infant
Member since 3/12 228 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: Wedding - Opinions Please
I'm due in early January - the wedding is early November. I can't figure out how far along I'll be - anyone know? I get giddy at the thought of missing the wedding altogether! I was just hoping to get out of shoving my swollen belly in a bm dress!
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| Posted 6/21/12 8:52 AM |
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Lara&Aidansmommy
For mom i miss u ETC ILOVEU
Member since 3/07 13921 total posts
Name:
ETC I LOVE YOU
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Re: Wedding - Opinions Please
Posted by Mama2Max
I'm due in early January - the wedding is early November. I can't figure out how far along I'll be - anyone know? I get giddy at the thought of missing the wedding altogether! I was just hoping to get out of shoving my swollen belly in a bm dress!
You will probably be around 31/32 weeks at the time of the wedding. 
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| Posted 6/21/12 8:59 AM |
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Mama2Max
LIF Infant
Member since 3/12 228 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: Wedding - Opinions Please
Posted by Lara&Aidansmommy
Posted by Mama2Max
I'm due in early January - the wedding is early November. I can't figure out how far along I'll be - anyone know? I get giddy at the thought of missing the wedding altogether! I was just hoping to get out of shoving my swollen belly in a bm dress!
You will probably be around 31/32 weeks at the time of the wedding.
Thanks!!
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| Posted 6/21/12 9:00 AM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding - Opinions Please
I wouldn't want to go if I were you. Just for the fact that I wouldn't want to travel that far at 8 months. And key west is several hours drive from the airport. Are you going to be telling people you're pregnant soon? As soon as you do you should talk to the bride about how you feel it will be too much for you.
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| Posted 6/21/12 9:07 AM |
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Re: Wedding - Opinions Please
I would not go. Plus, would the airline even allow you to fly? That is a lot of work and stress for an 8 month pregnant woman to handle! I would feel scared traveling that late.
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| Posted 6/21/12 9:13 AM |
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BBin2012
Full heart!
Member since 8/11 1835 total posts
Name:
Ka
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Re: Wedding - Opinions Please
Posted by ali120206
How many weeks will you be? Airlines won't let you fly after 36 weeks and many Drs feel that you shouldn't fly in the third trimester.
It does sound like a lot - and Key West isn't the easiest place to get to or the most fun for a pregnant person (we went last year when I was 20 weeks and it was tough.
I would just say your Dr doesn't want you to travel that late in your pregnancy...
I agree!
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| Posted 6/21/12 9:15 AM |
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Samira0407
Love being a Mom
Member since 6/08 4030 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding - Opinions Please
We're due at the same time- (My EDD is 1/12) In November we'll be between 30-34 weeks.
If it's towards the beginning of the month I would consider going; but if the wedding is at the end and closer to 34 weeks I don't think I would risk traveling and possibly being uncomfortable.
Also maybe think of the financial burden; the travel costs; air & hotel; other wedding costs right before you have a baby. I personally have to take my last 4 weeks of maternity leave unpaid; so I wouldn't be willing to incur that extra expense especially since it sounds like you really don't want to go anyway. I'd rather just send a nice gift.
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| Posted 6/21/12 9:17 AM |
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Mama2Max
LIF Infant
Member since 3/12 228 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: Wedding - Opinions Please
I'm so happy to hear others say they would say no! My parents made me feel terrible - I've been obsessing about this decision. I think I'll have to attend the wedding, but I'm feeling more confident that it's okay to say no to dealing with being a bm (the thought of traveling on a plane with DS and his car seat is enough to exhaust me right now).
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| Posted 6/21/12 9:20 AM |
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inc0gnit0
LIF Infant
Member since 5/12 336 total posts
Name:
Miss Incognito
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Re: Wedding - Opinions Please
Posted by Lara&Aidansmommy
Posted by ali120206
How many weeks will you be? Airlines won't let you fly after 36 weeks and many Drs feel that you shouldn't fly in the third trimester.
It does sound like a lot - and Key West isn't the easiest place to get to or the most fun for a pregnant person (we went last year when I was 20 weeks and it was tough.
I would just say your Dr doesn't want you to travel that late in your pregnancy...
THIS
ITA!
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| Posted 6/21/12 9:21 AM |
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jams92
Member since 1/12 6105 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding - Opinions Please
before you tell them no (or your parents)...speak to your doctor...they might immediately say they dont want you flying that late in which case problem solved!
if you do go...i would def get out of being a BM...but personally i would prob not make the schlep
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| Posted 6/21/12 9:22 AM |
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Mama2Max
LIF Infant
Member since 3/12 228 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: Wedding - Opinions Please
Posted by Samira0407
We're due at the same time- (My EDD is 1/12) In November we'll be between 30-34 weeks.
If it's towards the beginning of the month I would consider going; but if the wedding is at the end and closer to 34 weeks I don't think I would risk traveling and possibly being uncomfortable.
Also maybe think of the financial burden; the travel costs; air & hotel; other wedding costs right before you have a baby. I personally have to take my last 4 weeks of maternity leave unpaid; so I wouldn't be willing to incur that extra expense especially since it sounds like you really don't want to go anyway. I'd rather just send a nice gift.
Thinking about the cost makes me sick! We have to get a hotel, rent a car, and pay for 3 flights!! And the gift - blah! My maternity leave will be all unpaid 
I can't tell if I'm super cranky about this because I'm really hormonal right now or because of how I feel regarding their marriage....
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| Posted 6/21/12 9:23 AM |
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drwifettc
LIF Adult
Member since 6/10 2348 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding - Opinions Please
I'd talk to your doctor! I'll be around 30/33 weeks around Christmas and we were supposed to go to TX with my inlaws and DD. My doctor said he would not recommend it. He didn't say no, but he said it would not be his recommendation and that it would be too much that close to the end. I was surprised because he's not overly cautious. I'd talk to your doctor!
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| Posted 6/21/12 9:27 AM |
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WinterBaby13
LIF Infant
Member since 6/12 213 total posts
Name:
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Wedding - Opinions Please
Regardless of how you feel about their marriage you have to consider your health first. Like the others have said getting to Key West is not so easy and you already have DS to bring along. Talk to your doctor, you might not even get the green light to travel and even if you do and decide to make the trip pass on being a BM. You're not going to enjoy it so why put yourself through that at 8 months? If the bride is at all reasonable she'll understand and if not, that's her issue.
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| Posted 6/21/12 9:31 AM |
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Mama2Max
LIF Infant
Member since 3/12 228 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: Wedding - Opinions Please
Thanks for the replies - I will speak to the doctor, I had no idea that traveling at that point could be an issue.
And sadly - no this will not be a reasonable bride, she scares me!
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| Posted 6/21/12 9:36 AM |
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mooshyboo
So Blessed!
Member since 11/07 6297 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Wedding - Opinions Please
Just like the other ladies I am not sure I would want to be traveling that far along especially with a 2 1 /2 yr old. My son is 3 3/4 and a handful I am pooped being 8 months preggo and taking care of him.
You Dr. will probably make the decision for you regarding traveling in the 3rd tri ~ good luck if your dr says no and telling the bride to be...
Message edited 6/21/2012 9:45:26 AM.
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| Posted 6/21/12 9:44 AM |
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Mama2Max
LIF Infant
Member since 3/12 228 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: Wedding - Opinions Please
Posted by mooshyboo
Just like the other ladies I am not sure I would want to be traveling that far along especially with a 2 1 /2 yr old. My son is 3 3/4 and a handful I am pooped being 8 months preggo and taking care of him.
You Dr. will probably make the decision for you regarding traveling in the 3rd tri ~ good luck if your dr says no and telling the bride to be...
I think I would have to fax her the doctors note!!
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| Posted 6/21/12 9:49 AM |
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LoveMyHubby605
Our April Baby is here!
Member since 4/11 2418 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: Wedding - Opinions Please
Posted by Mama2Max
And sadly - no this will not be a reasonable bride, she scares me!
for this alone I would say no. You don't need to be stressed during your pregnancy. I would not do it especially since you have a child already to look after.
I was asked to be a BM and i straight up told the bride that DH and I were planning to get pregnant and would she be okay with a pregnant bridesmaid. I left it up to her and she thought it over and said it was such a long day of standing, pic taking etc as well as the stuff leading up to my wedding (she was in my bridal party) that she couldn't imagine doing it while pregnant so she took away my bm duties.
Maybe she won't even want you in the party if you tell her how far along you will be?? Some brides are not ok with pregnant bms anyway... here's hoping for your sake 
if she doesnt give you a pass, I'd still say it will be too much for you. id just give her an opportunity to let you out of it first
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| Posted 6/21/12 9:50 AM |
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WinterBaby13
LIF Infant
Member since 6/12 213 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding - Opinions Please
Posted by Mama2Max
Posted by mooshyboo
Just like the other ladies I am not sure I would want to be traveling that far along especially with a 2 1 /2 yr old. My son is 3 3/4 and a handful I am pooped being 8 months preggo and taking care of him.
You Dr. will probably make the decision for you regarding traveling in the 3rd tri ~ good luck if your dr says no and telling the bride to be...
I think I would have to fax her the doctors note!!
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| Posted 6/21/12 10:59 AM |
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mooshyboo
So Blessed!
Member since 11/07 6297 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Wedding - Opinions Please
Posted by Mama2Max
Posted by mooshyboo
Just like the other ladies I am not sure I would want to be traveling that far along especially with a 2 1 /2 yr old. My son is 3 3/4 and a handful I am pooped being 8 months preggo and taking care of him.
You Dr. will probably make the decision for you regarding traveling in the 3rd tri ~ good luck if your dr says no and telling the bride to be...
I think I would have to fax her the doctors note!!
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| Posted 6/21/12 11:12 AM |
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TheDivineMrsM
2 girls 4 me!
Member since 8/08 7878 total posts
Name:
Mama mama mama....
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Re: Wedding - Opinions Please
Posted by Mama2Max
Thanks for the replies - I will speak to the doctor, I had no idea that traveling at that point could be an issue.
And sadly - no this will not be a reasonable bride, she scares me!
I'd lie!. Even if your doc ok's running a marathon at 8 months pg, tell the bride that your doctor said it's strictly forbidden. 
eta: If you have to fax her a note, I know your practitioner would cheerfully write something for you lol.
Message edited 6/21/2012 11:53:33 AM.
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| Posted 6/21/12 11:52 AM |
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Mama2Max
LIF Infant
Member since 3/12 228 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: Wedding - Opinions Please
Posted by TheDivineMrsM
Posted by Mama2Max
Thanks for the replies - I will speak to the doctor, I had no idea that traveling at that point could be an issue.
And sadly - no this will not be a reasonable bride, she scares me!
I'd lie!. Even if your doc ok's running a marathon at 8 months pg, tell the bride that your doctor said it's strictly forbidden.
eta: If you have to fax her a note, I know your practitioner would cheerfully write something for you lol.
HA! Thanks - that's good to know!!!!
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| Posted 6/21/12 12:19 PM |
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