Re: The OFFICIAL Unsuccessful Breastfeeding support thread.

SUCH A GOOD THREAD IDEA!!

I had intentions on BFing DD, like all of you. Turns out I have inverted nipples (they politely call them "flat or rounded" instead of inverted). I had 2 LCs in the hospital. 1 gave me a nipple shield and was so helpful. 1 told me that using the nipple shield was going to create more issues with "connection and bond". I pumped after each failed nursing session. Came home and the same continued. DD was scream b/c when she attempted to latch it didn't work properly. I dreaded feeding times when I needed to try and nurse. Had anxiety over the ticking clock.

I had a great supply. I started pumping exclusively. I felt better b/c she wasn't screaming etc., but I HATED pumping. When DH went back to work I had anxiety over fitting it all in (i.e. pumping, feeding, taking care of DD etc) I spent the next 2 months complaining and crying. I kept saying that I was going to stop, but then I would pump and see how much milk I had and I would convince myself I needed to keep going.

After 2.5 months DH had a serious talk with me. He supported me 100%, but saw what it was doing to me. He added some more logical to my thinking.

I decided to stop. I tried weaning. I got mastitis and clogged ducts. Ended up not being able to get out of bed for 2 days in AGONY.

I still get angry at myself for not being able to handle pumping. I constantly make myself look at how well DD is growing and thriving.

Re: The OFFICIAL Unsuccessful Breastfeeding support thread.

great thread!

I wanted to bf my dd so badly...partly was to prove to all the unsupportive people around me that I can and will do it!

I bf within minutes of them handing me my dd...we did great the first night then early morning the doctor came in and told me my dd lost weight and I may want to give her a bottle it was early, I was alone and started to worry so I listened to the azz of a doctor!

They sent me home the next day...even the nurses was a bit surprise because my recovery was a bit rough. I had 3rd degree tears on top of the episiotomy. My neck was really sore too but by the time I got home I had such a stiff neck it was killing me. I couldn't move especially look down. When I did manage to look down I would get nauseous and dizzy (later I found out I herniated 3 disc in my neck while pushing!)
Between not being able to sit, or look down, then my dd was having a hard time latching and I was so upset and trying to nurse her was becoming so emotionally and physically stressful it was killing me...then to have my support group around me telling me to give her a bottle I just gave up I did at least make it a week of bfing and just to add my dh was the only one trying to support me in bfing...but he did add that he loved to be able to feed her too...it was such a special bonding time for him to
A decision I have always regretted I still kick myself for not pumping....I am now almost 35 weeks prego and this time around I will try again but I will remember to try pumping too!

Even though it was a disappointment in myself and something my heart aches for....my daughter is healthy and beautiful and bf or ff it doesn't matter she is still amazing...and Im an amazing mom regardless

Re: The OFFICIAL Unsuccessful Breastfeeding support thread.

To make a long story short - -

With DS I had horrible baby blues and every time I would BF my hormone levels would get so out of whack, that I couldn't control myself. I would then get anxiety over it, which then lead to DS not being able to latch properly b/c he could sense my tension. It was awful. Awful. I still get all choked up thinking about that time.

I cried a lot for failing. A LOT.

I gave up after a month, I needed my sanity back. . .for my son, for myself, for my DH. I was helping no one.

I was determined this time to BF DD, I have currently reached my 3 month goal and am aiming for 6. I had no baby blues with her and I believe that was a huge factor.


This thread is great and to all of us. . no matter how we feed our children. . .we do what is best for them, for us, for our families.

Re: The OFFICIAL Unsuccessful Breastfeeding support thread.

This thread is so comforting to me as I too am still carrying a lot of guilt for not being able to bf like I wanted to.

I had every intention to bf for a year if I could. I took a class, read the books, watched the dvds. I bought great pump. But best laid plans...

I had an emergency c-section at 36 weeks after having a very uneventful pregnancy. He ended up in the nicu after birth. I vaguely remember them holding him up to me over the curtain after the section but I didn't see him again for 12 hours. He was born at 12:15pm and I didn't see him til 12am when I finally was ready to get out of bed and walk to the Nicu. When I got to him he had a paci in his mouth and had already been bottle fed a few times. Had to happen, he had to be fed and I wasn't there to do it. The night Nicu nurse helped me bf him for the first time. He had trouble latching from the beginning. I went back to the nicu every 3 hours and tried again. He finally did latch and things seemed to be going smoothly. Due to his weight the Dr also made us supplement with the formula. When my milk came in after 2 days DS couldn't latch again. We ended up trying a nipple shield. That worked for a little bit, but he became frustrated very quickly with it as well.

When I got home he was barely nursing and eating more formula. So I started to pump. In order to help me out DH would feed DS the bottle while I pumped. I was miserable because the only times DS was awake was while he was being fed, and I was pumping. I also was barely producing anything. I would get an ounce barely out of both breasts. I cried and cried every time it was time to pump and I cried because I felt like I barely bonded with my son. After 2 weeks I developed a bad infection and a very high fever. It was the straw that broke the camels back.

I felt so guilty and I felt that DH was a little disappointed in me as well (he was really for the nursing). I finally was able to bond with DS better though after I stopped pumping. It didn't help that not long after I stopped pumping that he developed some reflux and gas issues that I again felt responsible for. Like if I had kept at it, it wouldn't have happened.

He's doing so well though. Has been very healthy and happy. Like another poster wrote, I'm not making his solids at home for him. It makes me feel a little better that I can at least do this for him.

Re: The OFFICIAL Unsuccessful Breastfeeding support thread.

I just thought it would happen with no problems. When we first tried, he latched great and all seemed well. He did have a bottle that first night. The second night, I bf'd in them middle of the night, but I was so scared and nervous and had no clue what i was doing. When he was crying, I thought they'd come and take him away from me (I would have asked for help if it was the day staff, but the night staff were not as nice or helpful). He probably had a bottle again that night, IDK.

At home, he would feed for an hour and I would have to remove him from the boob. He was not happy about that most times.. But i could not literally feed him the entire time - there was an hour between each feeding. I was exhausted and depressed. He was generally happy but was also fussy.

And he was losing weight. We would go to the ped. every week, and every week he was losing. I tried pumping and hardly anything came out - THAT was my lowest point. That is when I really realized what was going on and that it was my fault he wasn't getting enough to eat.

We started supplementing at about 1 month, and it was good and bad. I still bf as much as I could, even while we were driving halfway across the country. But finally at 3 months I just had to stop. DS was gaining but not as much as he should and I was tapped out.

I felt guilty for awhile but when I realized it was better for him - he was happy, full. content, HAPPY, and I had all this free time suddenly - which made ME happy.

If I do have another, I will def. try bfing again, but if it doesn't work out, I will not feel bad!

Re: The OFFICIAL Unsuccessful Breastfeeding support thread.

Just wanted to say I'm so so happy that ladies are using this thread. It's alot to hold in and take on your own. I agree with some of the other posters...we do what works for us and for our family. our children are no worse off for it.

No matter how we feed our children...there is one thing we all have in common on this board...and that is that we are here because we care about our children and how we parent them. Our children have some great mommas!!

Re: The OFFICIAL Unsuccessful Breastfeeding support thread.

Yesterday DS had his last bottle of BM ever. And I packed away my pump. I feel like a failure..
Today he is 5wks old. I could have EP'd until he was strong enough to latch. I'm just not strong enough emotionally, mentally, and physically.

Re: The OFFICIAL Unsuccessful Breastfeeding support thread.

Posted by MrsCampos10-01-10

Yesterday DS had his last bottle of BM ever. And I packed away my pump. I feel like a failure..
Today he is 5wks old. I could have EP'd until he was strong enough to latch. I'm just not strong enough emotionally, mentally, and physically.

Re: The OFFICIAL Unsuccessful Breastfeeding support thread.

Great thread!

My DD was born with a congential birth defect known as hemifacial microsomia. She has an asymmetrical face where the left side is a little shifted compared to the right. When you look at her it's not noticeable immediately, but if you really study her face you can see it. If you put her in front of a mirror you can really see the difference between both sides.

Because of this, her mouth & jaw are not lined up the same as other babies. She was unable to latch on me at all and each time I tried, it wound up in tears for both of us. I tried to pump as best I could but my supply was crap. I would sit for 30 min using a hospital grade pump I rented, and get 1 oz. I did this for 3 mos to try and give her SOME breast milk, but ultimately I had to stop. It was giving me too much stress and guilt.

My DD is the most happy smiley baby ever and I know that I did the best I could with BFing. I will try again with a future child, but if it doesn't work I will not beat myself up over it.

Re: The OFFICIAL Unsuccessful Breastfeeding support thread.

Posted by Katareen

Posted by DiamondGirl

But I try to remind myself that I was FF and I have a great immune system and and not too dumb

I hope you don't really believe this if people tell you that--FF babies will not end up less intelligent or less healthy. Its these thoughts that add to the guilt of new mothers who cannot (but wanted to) EBF. Loving and involved parents, a safe home, and nutritious foods throughout childhood will prove to have a much greater affect on our kids

Re: The OFFICIAL Unsuccessful Breastfeeding support thread.

bump

Re: The OFFICIAL Unsuccessful Breastfeeding support thread.

figured it's time for another bump for the newer mommies. I know alot of people got comfort from this thread.

Re: The OFFICIAL Unsuccessful Breastfeeding support thread.

I love this thread, I gave it the old college try but at 3 weeks my son got sick and was in the hospital, had a spinal tap, it was awful. I was having a hard time up till then and so much was out of my control that feeding him became the only thing that brought me comfort. I knew what he was getting and when he was getting it, and oddly enough it put my mind at ease.
People made me feel guilty when I didn't. And as a new mom you feel less than perfect a lot (at least I did) that hearing any negativity will set you over the edge.
Now when I get asked I just say no I don't bf Bc I couldn't and leave it at that. There is nothing wrong w ff and more people should be told that so they don't feel like a tremendous failure.