somewhat parenting related-need honest opinions

Thanks

Message edited 2/21/2013 3:52:33 PM.

Re: somewhat parenting related-need honest opinions

Honestly I would try to stick it out. I know sometimes easier said than done. Speaking from experience we rushed towards the end of my pregnancy with DS #1 to buy a house, and whiile I love my house and the school district we're in, it wasn't what I really the house I wanted even though it was in the school district we were looking in. Had we waited where we were we would've save a ton more money and really been able to do whatever we wanted.

We lived in a small 1 bedroom basement apt in DH's childhood home. It wasn't the best but we probably should've stuck it out a bit.

Re: somewhat parenting related-need honest opinions

Do you think you will save enough money in one year for a down payment? Are you paying this family rent?

Re: somewhat parenting related-need honest opinions

Message edited 2/21/2013 3:52:43 PM.

Re: somewhat parenting related-need honest opinions

I'm with your hubby on this one.
Sorry


Renting is tossing money away. Times are tough and I'm sure its tight but its easier when they are younger to be in a tight space than struggling when they are older. I lived in my aunt's living room for a month to put aside some cash for an apt. Then a cruddy apt for a year to get into our house. Now AJ's 3 and I realize she'll never remember that her 'bed' was an inflatible mattress on a living room floor. She won't know about the bathroom with peeling tub and black growth on the ceiling. She'll have no understanding of how we had to scrimp and save and meals were tight as was life, especially while dealing with her ear infections and getting tubes put in for her.

She won't know any of it. She'll only know 'her house' as she calls it. With her back yard and her room that's 'too too big' (ha!) and all her own. That as worth those first two years of muck.

Good Luck!

ETA: No space thing btw. I totally get. My 'living room' was 8x8 in NY with out the sofa, TV, bookcase, love seat and computer desk/chair. So she had no space. We'd use our bed as her play area. Only large, flat area really. We never owned a swing because it would never fit, same for an exceriser. She doesnt know the difference and doesnt care. But I will say LIF made it harder on me. Just seeing all the cool stuff other kids have. But I told myself I was glad to give her what I could, understood she was lucky to have half of what I gave her and knew it was all so she could have more later.

Message edited 1/31/2012 3:49:24 PM.

Re: somewhat parenting related-need honest opinions

i never liked to rent.. i always felt renting made someone else richer... with that said, i wish we would have waited a little longer to buy a house....

i would wait as long as you could....

Re: somewhat parenting related-need honest opinions

Posted by Xelindrya

I'm with your hubby on this one.
Sorry


Renting is tossing money away. Times are tough and I'm sure its tight but its easier when they are younger to be in a tight space than struggling when they are older. I lived in my aunt's living room for a month to put aside some cash for an apt. Then a cruddy apt for a year to get into our house. Now AJ's 3 and I realize she'll never remember that her 'bed' was an inflatible mattress on a living room floor. She won't know about the bathroom with peeling tub and black growth on the ceiling. She'll have no understanding of how we had to scrimp and save and meals were tight as was life, especially while dealing with her ear infections and getting tubes put in for her.

She won't know any of it. She'll only know 'her house' as she calls it. With her back yard and her room that's 'too too big' (ha!) and all her own. That as worth those first two years of muck.

Good Luck!

Re: somewhat parenting related-need honest opinions

Re: somewhat parenting related-need honest opinions

That is really hard place to be in. Saving money is great. On the other hand you have no place to be other than a bedroom. If you are a SAHM I could see wanting out ASAP. If you aren't, I'd make do until you can buy a home.

Re: somewhat parenting related-need honest opinions

I would honestly stick it out until a certain time period then that's it, time to move out and on.

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Message edited 2/21/2013 3:54:48 PM.

Re: somewhat parenting related-need honest opinions

Money is important. So is sanity. Only you can say how unhappy you will be in your current situation, and how important it is for you to buy in the top school district.

a few thoughts/ideas- have you looked into low cost rentals? maybe you can find something a little nicer than where you are now, but not great, for a low rent, and look to cut costs in other areas.

maybe you should look at buying a starter home. sure, you want the big house in the best district. maybe you do that in 5 years, or 8 years. maybe you buy a nice town home, condo, co-op, small home sooner.

list out all the possible options. rank them, have your hubby do the same, and find something that makes you both happy enough, without breaking the bank.

also- i was in your shoes as well. i owned a condo in the city that i couldnt sell due to the market and wasnt a good place to have my DD. (NYC spiral staircases, heart of greenwich village, neighbors who would complain 24/7 about a baby) We rented it out and lived in my parents 2 family house for 3 years until we could sell the condo. now, we had more space than we had in our condo, but dh and my folks had a rocky period, and it was very very hard on our relationship. at times, he would beg me to rent a place, but i thought we could make it work to save the money. we did, and we are really really happy now. whatever you decide, dont look back...look forward and make it work

Re: somewhat parenting related-need honest opinions

I don't know, it's one thing to live in a one bedroom apartment; even though it can be small and tight, there's at least there's more room. But just a bedroom and kitchen? That's rough. Right now it's fine, but once your baby becomes more mobile and wants to walk around etc., what then?

And trust me, I'm in an apartment now so I get it. If it were a 1 bedroom I would easily say to stay, rough it out. But if you're going stir crazy, I'd probably want out too. Difficult spot to be in.

Re: somewhat parenting related-need honest opinions

I am going to be the minority opinion here. Hubby and I rent and we love it. We have no desire right now to own a house and all the problems/maintenance that comes with it. We moved from a 1br apt to a 2br apt when our son was born, made the decision in 2 days and because we did not have to worry about getting rid of our old house, it was quick.
As for renting being throwing away money, that is just not true. It's costs money to live anywhere. And in 30 yrs, when you have paid off the mortgage of your home, you still have to pay the taxes required to live in the HOME YOU OWN. How rediculous is that? For us right now, it is cheaper to rent than buy, so the money that we save by paying rent over a mortgage/property taxes, we put into savings. Savings that will continue to grow. The hope with owning a home is that at some point, it will increase in value and you can use the equity that you built to do things that you could not afford before. Well, I am building my equity in the form of the money that we bank every month. And I am sure that if we ammortized the money over 30 years, what I have in the bank and what it cost me to live in my apt would be equal to or less than what it cost you to live in a house. Also the money that I am building monthly is liquid. I have access to it whenever I want. Even though at some point you hope to have equity in a home, you do not have access to that equity the moment you need it.
I also do not have to worry about unexpected expenses - broken fridge, backed up pipes, leaking roof, etc. The only real maintenance expenses I have are lightbulbs. Eveything else is covered. My stove broke last year, had a new one the next day. My fridge in the new apt broke the day after I moved in. New one on Sunday, no cost to me.
Needless to say, I think that if you are that unhappy living in the situtation you are in, then I would rent. Granted you may not be able to save quite as much as you are now, but you will still be able to save something. And you will ALL be more comfortable in the end.

Message edited 1/31/2012 5:01:09 PM.

Re: somewhat parenting related-need honest opinions

Message edited 2/21/2013 3:53:03 PM.

Re: somewhat parenting related-need honest opinions

It may not be so easy to find a fixer upper that you will love. The competition has been fierce... Friends of mine have been outbid multiple times for places. Plus you will need reserve funds.

IMO. This will last longer than you think it will. Save what you can... And then rent so you don't go nuts.

Re: somewhat parenting related-need honest opinions

I completely disagree that renting is tossing away money but for your situation whether or not it makes sense depends on how much money you're going to pay/ how much space you're going to get.

DH and I rented a 2 bdrm for a long time. The rent pretty much equaled the taxes, water, and maintenance we would have shelled out on a house- so that's why it was not "money down the drain".

However, if you are only going to add a small amount of space to your current living space than financially I say stick it out and save b/c if you need to rent something substantially larger and therefore a lot more expensive you are wasting "some" money.

If you can't stand your situation rent no matter what. It's not worth your health or happiness!

Re: somewhat parenting related-need honest opinions

How is your relationship with your husband? With the family you are staying with?

If everything is working except you want more space, I'd try to stick it out. 1 year in a small place will make you appreciate the new place that much more. The baby won't even remember being so cramped.

Maybe you could do something to the bedroom - like make a loft sort of for the bed so you had some floor space?

Re: somewhat parenting related-need honest opinions

We stayed in our 1 bedroom with 2 kids. Moved when baby was 7 months and older ds was 2 years 4 months. We bought in a top district in Nassau, never imagined we could afford it! Stay as long as you can, and then a little longer.

It was hard, our dining room became a bedroom. Everyone criticized us, but we stuck to our guns. It really did pay off we are very comfy and in our forever home. It was my dh who refused to move and I'm so glad for that now HTH.
I'm also a SAHM, because we were able to save so much I can stay home.
All in all w down payment, closing cost, and. Renovations we needed 140k

Message edited 1/31/2012 7:10:26 PM.

Re: somewhat parenting related-need honest opinions

Message edited 2/21/2013 3:55:04 PM.

Re: somewhat parenting related-need honest opinions

I would never be able to live like that. I would rent a cheap place for a year. I don't even understand how that works now - do all four of you sleep in the bedroom together? does someone sleep in the kitchen? I'm sorry but no house is worth living like that for another year.

Re: somewhat parenting related-need honest opinions

It's a small 1 bedroom so dc's crib is in our room we only have 1 child. Then there is a kitchen with a table to eat on and a vestibule area with dc's dresser and changing area. There is no other room. I think if there was a living room I would feel better as when dc starts walking that could be made into a bedroom

Re: somewhat parenting related-need honest opinions

I don't see renting as pouring money down the drain... I think there's a ton more waste in owning a home where you have to pay interest, taxes, etc... I would go crazy living like that

Message edited 1/31/2012 8:40:48 PM.

Re: somewhat parenting related-need honest opinions

I love renting.

We bought a house, lived there 3 years...then got relocated so renting again.

i never want to be homeowners ever again.
so many are upside down in a mortgage.
trying to sell but can't
pour all their money into nonsense like tiles and appliances.

that living isn't for me. i like to live in someone else's problem.

Re: somewhat parenting related-need honest opinions