Starting to feel Overwhelmed...

Everyday I look at that countdown clock on the top of my screen....

121 Days 15 hours until LO is here, and I will have my c-section a week early as it is, so it's way less then that!

The problem is that DH totally isn't feeling the fire to get moving on certain things.

We need to get a bigger car! My SUV isn't big enough for any more then 2 carseats and we need to be able to safely drive with 3 kids in carseats/boosters!

So we need to get a move on it and get a minivan already!

We also have to clean out the room that will be the baby's. It was my MIL's office before she passed away which was 8 years ago...and she had so many collectables/knicknacks. Now that we live in the house DH has taken the room over as his man-cave, with his guitars and dvds and stuff, but he never took down his mom's stuff because i guess he didn't want to be the one to pack it up. Now we have both his stuff AND his mom's stuff and I feel like I can't do this alone, and shouldn't do it alone! I need his help and it is going to take several weekends at least!

How do I get him moving on it? I ask and ask and ask and he always finds a way to put it off. But I feel like the first half of this pregnancy went so quickly, and the baby is going to be here before we know it! We have to get certain things ready! I don't want to do this when I am uncomfortably 8 months pregnancy!

Re: Starting to feel Overwhelmed...

My DH was kind of doing the same thing as your DH, he felt that we had so much time and why did I need to rush things. What I ended up doing was telling him that I wanted the nursery done by xyz date, I had to give him a deadline, it also helped because he is home during the summer, so it really would have been pointless for him to start these projects once school started again. So he realized that it was better to just get them done during the summer. We are almost 3 weeks away from due date and he is still tying up some odds and ends but it is all coming together now.

Re: Starting to feel Overwhelmed...

Honestly remember that babies don't need a whole lot so space when they first arrive. If he waits and waits well he's on his own with no help from you. Oh well.

As for the minivan can you start to look/research without him? I had to do this when I wanted one and when I narrowed it down I did the test drive, decided what I wanted then we went to one dealer together and sealed the deal.

Some things just aren't worth waiting and/or fighting over.

Re: Starting to feel Overwhelmed...

Posted by monkeybride

Honestly remember that babies don't need a whole lot so space when they first arrive. If he waits and waits well he's on his own with no help from you. Oh well.

As for the minivan can you start to look/research without him? I had to do this when I wanted one and when I narrowed it down I did the test drive, decided what I wanted then we went to one dealer together and sealed the deal.

Some things just aren't worth waiting and/or fighting over.

Re: Starting to feel Overwhelmed...

Oh god! I feel you on this one!

We have an attached garage and the wall that the garage is attached to the house is the back wall of the soon to be nursery. Every once in a while you'll be able to smell the garage thru the wall. I've been asking DH to reinsulate the garage wall for weeks now - more so for his own comfort b/c I would feel bad if he's out there in the garage in the dead of winter pulling down and putting back up new sheet rock. But he's dragging his feet so bad. This whole weekend was a waste - watching football, doing whatever.

I don't know! I feel like I'm just going to do the things I have to do and can manage and he knows what he has to do. If he's out there in 10 degree cold - well, then that's his fault and he can b*tch about it to himself and should have done it sooner.

Can you maybe just go look at minivans on your own? Pick out what you like and just tell him, this is what I chose and it needs to be in the driveway before this baby comes?

ETA: - just saw your post where you said you did do the research on the minivan already, so ignore my last paragraph. I like the PP's suggestions tho!

Message edited 11/22/2011 10:19:03 AM.

Re: Starting to feel Overwhelmed...

I would just go and buy the car on your own. Unless he needs to be on the financing ( if you are financing it) he doesn't need to be there. I bought my most recent car without DH.

As far as the room.....I would start it without him. I had to clean out our room and I took care of everything I could and then left a pile for DH to go through. As far as his mothers things. I would jsut box them up and then give them to the family for them to decide what they want to do with.

Re: Starting to feel Overwhelmed...

He would need to finance it since I don't work...I am a SAHM...so I have no income to show and most likely wouldn't get approved for a loan because of that!

As far as the room...if it was *our* stuff I'd have no problem cleaning it out on my own. But it is 100% DH's stuff and my late MIL's stuff, and I don't feel comfortabe being the one to sort through the stuff alone, especially since MIL's stuff will probably have to get donated. I don't feel like those decisions are mine to make!

Re: Starting to feel Overwhelmed...

If MILs stuff is just knick knacks can you go in there with a newspaper and carefully wrap everything up and stick it in a box or something? Then you can let him know that you packed it all up and could he bring it to the garage or something so he can go through it at his leisure. That way it is packed up and things start to get moving but he still has control over what he does with all of his moms stuff.

Re: Starting to feel Overwhelmed...

I hear you! We are in the same boat of having to re-arrange rooms and we are currently having work done in our house and it's always a never ending job. Our problem here is my DH works 6 and sometimes 7 days a week, and I know he is tired and not in the mood to come home and do major things (I am lucky he helps pick up, clean, etc.).

I would just do it myself when push comes to shove, but I am working PT when the kids are in school, so I really have no time at all to get it done.

I echo what everyone says, they babies need so little when they are first home. I am concentrating on making sure I have my infant car seat installed, the pack and play set up in the LR and the Rock and Play sleeper in my bedroom. Everything else will come when it happens

Oh, and since DH is in the business, I will ask him to keep his eyes peeled for a used T&C for you!

Message edited 11/23/2011 7:37:44 AM.

Re: Starting to feel Overwhelmed...