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have2hide
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/11 555 total posts
Name:
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Opinion on OOT invites for Shower.. (POLL)
My mom was going to mail invitations to some out of town relatives (1st cousins close with, etc) for my shower & a friend just mentioned to me that if I know they aren't going to come that we shouldn't mail them one. Reason being that it looks like we just want a gift (since it's obvious they won't be coming).
This thought hadn't occurred to me & I wouldn't want people to think that is our intent.. I was sending just to include them in what's going on..
Thoughts? Would you send?
Message edited 6/9/2011 4:17:08 PM.
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Posted 6/9/11 3:59 PM  |
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MrsH2009
Thank you St. Gerard!
Member since 8/09 6631 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Opinion on OOT invites for Shower..
If it is a close relative or friend, I would send it. I'm inviting cousins that live in Ohio, but I am not inviting DH's second cousins (or whatever they are) that I barely know.
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| Posted 6/9/11 4:02 PM |
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teaforthree
My Handsome Boy!
Member since 12/10 2549 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinion on OOT invites for Shower.. (POLL)
I didn't send to anyone (in Georgia or Florida, for example) who I knew wasn't coming. I checked with my husband first because I wanted to make the right choice.
We'll send birth announcements after the baby is born instead.
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| Posted 6/9/11 4:26 PM |
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MissingLI
Such a Big Boy!
Member since 1/06 1602 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Opinion on OOT invites for Shower.. (POLL)
I guess I kind of see it like I did with some of my wedding invites. I knew the wouldn't be able to come but I wanted to extend the invite as a courtesy. I wouldn't think anything of it.
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| Posted 6/9/11 4:28 PM |
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Re: Opinion on OOT invites for Shower.. (POLL)
The rule of thumb we followed was if they lived closer would they come or be invited? If yes send it. Peole will suprise you and I would be very offended if my 1st cousin didn't send me an invite due to distance. That doesn't mean I wouldn't want to be involved. For our shower if we invited cousins we invited ALL of them and if they didn't show they didn't show, but we extended the invite as to not pisss people off over being excluded.
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| Posted 6/9/11 4:32 PM |
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LovingLife
Blessed
Member since 8/06 2818 total posts
Name:
Blessed
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Re: Opinion on OOT invites for Shower.. (POLL)
Posted by MissingLI
I guess I kind of see it like I did with some of my wedding invites. I knew the wouldn't be able to come but I wanted to extend the invite as a courtesy. I wouldn't think anything of it.
I feel the same way.....
For my first pregnancy - I was surprised and honored that a few traveled from Florida to NY for the baby shower.
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| Posted 6/9/11 4:33 PM |
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ODonnell
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Member since 9/05 5983 total posts
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Re: Opinion on OOT invites for Shower.. (POLL)
I sent wedding invitations to OOT and overseas family who I knew couldn't make it so that would know that we wanted them to be part of our big day (and put a note in the invitation saying this). They did not, however, receive invitations to my bridal shower and I will not put them on the list for my baby shower either.
What I would consider is calling the friend or family members and saying that you would love them to be there but you understand if it is too far. You can let them know when the shower is (if you know) or ask them to call the one organizing it if they are interested in attending.
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| Posted 6/9/11 4:38 PM |
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Sweetlax22
LIF Adult
Member since 5/10 1904 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinion on OOT invites for Shower.. (POLL)
I would sent to OOTers esp family and close friends, just not 10 days before the shower like my couins in SC always seem to do 
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| Posted 6/9/11 5:15 PM |
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jamiemarie12
LIF Adult
Member since 10/09 1651 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinion on OOT invites for Shower.. (POLL)
Posted by MrsH2009
If it is a close relative or friend, I would send it. I'm inviting cousins that live in Ohio, but I am not inviting DH's second cousins (or whatever they are) that I barely know.
ITA, I sent invites to my cousins who live in Cali. I knew they probably wouldn't come but since we are really close I thought it would be wrong if I did not invite them. If they are not close relatives I would say no. My uncle lives in Georgia and I am not close with his wife so we did not invite her.
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| Posted 6/9/11 5:22 PM |
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MichLiz213
Life is Good!
Member since 7/07 7979 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinion on OOT invites for Shower.. (POLL)
The only OOS person I sent it to was my best friend in Florida. There's no way she can come, but I didn't want her to feel unincluded considering we've been friends since we were 5-years-old.
Message edited 6/9/2011 5:35:05 PM.
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| Posted 6/9/11 5:34 PM |
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Budjeg11
LIF Adult
Member since 4/11 2644 total posts
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Re: Opinion on OOT invites for Shower.. (POLL)
This is a tough one, I agree with one of the previous posters, I sent wedding invitations to close out of state and overseas family and friends, but I didnt send them bridal shower invitations and I wouldnt send them baby shower invitations either.
I feel like a wedding is maybe a bigger deal, and people would travel out of town for it-- but a shower, wedding or baby- they are not likely going to travel great distances , and knowing that I feel like sending the invitation is like asking for a gift. this is JMO and how I thinik at least some of my family and friends may take it. You know your family and friends best, do what your comfortable with, and when all else fails, I still think overly inclusive is better than underly inclusive! !
Message edited 6/9/2011 5:36:26 PM.
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| Posted 6/9/11 5:36 PM |
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VickiRG510
I'M A MOMMY!
Member since 3/09 1042 total posts
Name:
Vicki
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Re: Opinion on OOT invites for Shower.. (POLL)
Yup i would definitely send them. In fact i did send OOT invites. Its not about the gift its a respect thing. If you are close with them its respectful to send them an invitation & allow them to make the decision wether or not they want to come or send a gift.
Message edited 6/9/2011 5:57:16 PM.
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| Posted 6/9/11 5:56 PM |
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Wishing4ababy
My life is complete!
Member since 1/07 2494 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinion on OOT invites for Shower.. (POLL)
I'm going through the same thing with my shower invites. I have a few relatives that live in FL and I don't want to send them invites, but my sister is insisting that they will be insulted and we have to send them. I feel they will think it's tacky and that I just want a gift. I know their not coming. I really don't think I should send them.
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| Posted 6/9/11 6:06 PM |
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RubyWoo
Complete.
Member since 1/11 1357 total posts
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Re: Opinion on OOT invites for Shower.. (POLL)
I would still invite them. They may be more offended if you do not invite them.
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| Posted 6/9/11 6:13 PM |
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PreshusSmurf
So in love with my little guys
Member since 1/07 2963 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: Opinion on OOT invites for Shower.. (POLL)
I think I'd still send the invites.
If you are close with them, they may WANT to send a gift so at least they'll have the registry info.
And if your family is like my family, they might be insulted that you didn't think to invite them 
Also, sometimes people surprise you and come ... the weekend of your shower might work out to be a weekend they want to make a trip to NY.
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| Posted 6/9/11 6:51 PM |
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Tiggeruth
I am a mom :-)
Member since 6/06 3433 total posts
Name:
Heidi
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Re: Opinion on OOT invites for Shower.. (POLL)
I would send and I did send invites to OOT people. They were all family or close family friends who it would have been ruder not to invite and it turns out that a few of them actually were able to come even though I had assumed they wouldn't so it ended up being good that I invited them.
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| Posted 6/9/11 6:55 PM |
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Lisagail55
Love my little man <3
Member since 12/10 1332 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Opinion on OOT invites for Shower.. (POLL)
I know in my family we invite everyone, regardless of location. I was invited to my cousins showers who were out of state, and they will be invited to mine. For DH's family, well that's a whole 'nother story. I told my MIL I only wanted to invite his close family, not everyone like I did for my wedding shower.
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| Posted 6/9/11 7:13 PM |
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Re: Opinion on OOT invites for Shower.. (POLL)
I would definitely invite cousins, aunts,and close friends. In my family it would cause so much drama if someone felt left out.
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| Posted 6/10/11 12:56 PM |
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MrsPenthouse
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 924 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinion on OOT invites for Shower.. (POLL)
Posted by medic6809
The rule of thumb we followed was if they lived closer would they come or be invited? If yes send it. Peole will suprise you and I would be very offended if my 1st cousin didn't send me an invite due to distance. That doesn't mean I wouldn't want to be involved. For our shower if we invited cousins we invited ALL of them and if they didn't show they didn't show, but we extended the invite as to not pisss people off over being excluded.
Totally agree with this. I would be very hurt if I didn't receive a shower invite from a first cousin...I love my family and I'd want to be in the loop!
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| Posted 6/10/11 1:11 PM |
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jax1
Love my baby girl!!!
Member since 3/09 3405 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: Opinion on OOT invites for Shower.. (POLL)
Im sending it to some family/friends out of town or who I know can't make it because I think it's the right thing to do and to be polite.
They are not obligated to buy me a gift (and I hope they dont feel that they have to). I just felt rude not inviting family (even though I know some wont make it).
I'd send it to close family/friends OOT.
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| Posted 6/10/11 1:20 PM |
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