BTDT BF moms: Need some insight

So I had DS #2 almost 4 weeks ago. He was 9lbs 8z at birth and is now probably close to 11 lbs. (not sure if this is info you need for my dilemma)

Anyway, In the hospital I would try to BF but he didnt want to latch, would just become so worked up at trying. When I came home I started pumping and formula feeding. Around 2 weeks old DS started having Gas issues with formula so I have been 90% BF, 5% giving pumped milk and 5% doing formula for probably 2 weeks now.

When taking a bottle DS takes 3-4oz.
Now here is my issue. When I nurse he latches fine now, no more "fighting" with me. He will stay latched for up to 45 minutes. But he never TRULY seems satisfied. He will seem content for say 20 minutes and then turns fussy again and wants to eat again.

I dont have issues at night really. In the middle of the night he will nurse for 30-45 minutes then go back to sleep and he is only waking 1-2x a night (from 11:30pm to 7 am)

So I am not sure really what I am asking. But I didnt BF DS #1 so I dont know whats normal. I just feel like with DS #1 he seemed more content from FF. DS #2 cries alot more often and wants comfort or is rooting all the time.

I just told DH I am ready go give up on teh BF but truly I dont want to (I want to at least feel like I really tried because I feel that I didnt try hard enough with DS #1 to be successful at BF), but I want a happy/content baby. I feel even more guilty because I feel like DS #1 is suffering because I can't provide through BF for DS#2 and therefore I have much less time for DS#1.

DO you think he is not getting enough?
Could is just be he is more of a fussy personality?
Did anyone have a baby like this where it then got better?
Any advice, experience etc would be great.

I just feel like this BF thing is such an emotional rollercoaster right now!

THanks for reading this and for any comments you can give. Like I said I am not even sure what I am looking for I just feel like I am at that fork in the rd and need to decide between FF and BF before I lose my mind!

Message edited 5/13/2011 3:12:39 PM.

Re: BTDT BF moms: Need some insight

I had such a hard time BFing my DS! I was so emotional, stressed out and extremely hormonal. He didn't latch correctly, although did fine in front of the all the LCs . I started pumping at 2w PP bc he just finished eating and I was still so engorged, painfully so. I didn't know I could just hand express a little bit to relieve some of the pain, so I continued pumping at that point. Once he got the bottle of pumped BM he would not go back to latching at all. He would SCREAM until he got the bottle. He was drinking 4oz by 2-3 weeks old. I couldn't keep up with exclusively pumping so I started supplementing. My supply really decreased and ended having to give formula by 1 month old. It all just happened so fast. I decided to stop pumping when I was only getting 2oz. I was doing it every 3 hours, even in the motn when DH would give him a bottle, I would go inside and pump almost nothing. It was so depressing and I was so frustrated and I felt terrible that I couldn't satisfy by baby and feed him. Once I accepted the fact that he only wanted to eat and I could give him formula he was much much better. Once he was happy and content, then I knew it was the right decision. He did get acid reflux and was colicky for a few weeks but we dealt with all that as it came. It wasnt the end of the world when I stopped BFing. Anyway, I just wanted to share my story and experience.

Have you offered your DC a pacifier? Maybe he was just using you as soothing and not hungry?

Re: BTDT BF moms: Need some insight

It is tricky in the beginning and they are so hungry at times it is intense. I know my DS fed every hour for awhile in the beginning and then slowly tapered down. I was so obsessive and stressed about how much he was getting it was rough.

I was just talking to my sister this morning and I said what I would do differently with my next baby is to just BF 100% (rather than pumping at all) and make sure my LO is having plenty of wet diapers and pooping. Then I will introduce a pumping session when my supply is established. I am going to have a more casual approach because DS is now almost 1 and it all worked out, we are still BFing. I think the more relaxed I was the better it went and DS was also more relaxed. Maybe just try that for a few weeks to get things under control. Try feeding every hour and then see if you are able to eventually stretch it out? All I know is you can do it!!!! I had a million issues and somehow I got through it so I know you can too if you really want to.

Hang in there, you are doing a great job for your LO!!!

ETS: For me, I know I would have been disappointed if I stopped BFing so I am so happy I pushed through. You can always quit it but you can't always go back to it. Maybe set a time frame (say one month) and then maybe reassess the situation. If you have any questions you always FM me, like I said I had a number of issues but I got through it.

Message edited 5/13/2011 3:06:42 PM.

Re: BTDT BF moms: Need some insight

THanks Carissa!
For some reason with DS #1 I didnt put any pressure on myself to BF. I tried kept it up for 1 month but the whole time was supplementing and then thjat was it and I never though twice about it. But this time I have so much guilt at the thought of giving it up. And this is probably our last DC so I feel like its now or never KWIM.

Anyway, he will sometimes take a paci (soothie) but very rarely. Both of my kids felt like if they were doing that work they wanted the milk to go with it!

Re: BTDT BF moms: Need some insight

He is only 4 weeks, I would BF exclusively and on demand. I am sure he is getting enough that is what our bodies are made to do. The more he is bf the more he will produce offer him one side, when hes done burp and try the other but basically with bf, you feed on demand until about 3 months when they become more regular feeders. The less you put him on your breast the less milk yu will produce. Hang in there the beginning is the hardest time but it gets easier, andthey become much more efficient. :) You are doing great!

Re: BTDT BF moms: Need some insight

Re: BTDT BF moms: Need some insight

It is DEFINITELY NORMAL for a baby to want to eat that much as this age!!

I successfully BF DS #1 until he was 15 months old- never had formula.

I am now BF DS #2 for almost 10.5 months. The only formula he had was when he was first born because of his blood sugar level.

It is SO hard and demanding in the beginning. It is a lot of work but if you are committed and stick with it, you will be successful. I agree you should just BF on demand right now. I did that with both in the beginning and it worked great. With #2, I also pumped at times because i was so engorged it hurt and he was falling asleep on the breast. I put both sons on an "Eating schedule" when they were about 8 weeks old. Also, both boys put themselves on a schedule of eating as well.

Keep up the good work! It is hard but kudos to you for trying.

Re: BTDT BF moms: Need some insight

Hang in there..it will get easier I promise!

It is COMPLETELY normal to eat every 1.5 hrs-2hrs! That is not eating a lot that is eating like they should! It will taper off eventually..

The beginning is the hardest..if you can make it to through the first 6-8 weeks, I feel like it gets easier after that!

I would offer the breast always first. avoid bottles so you avoid nipple confusion!! And the more you offer the more you tell your body to make! if you supplement , your body will ot make as much!

In the beginning that is all they know so they look for it often! as long as they are "actively sucking" 10 min on each breast (could take 20 min on each) then that is a great amt...dont be concerned with the amt in oz...as long as you are getting enough wet diapers...you are doing great!

after that then they might be doing it for comfort...I would offer the binkie after...they might want to cont to suck..but not necessarily eat KWIM!?!?!

my kids were horrible at the binkie...and now I cant take it away from my 2 yr old! lolol...that is another thing they have to "learn" to do!

Message edited 5/13/2011 3:46:54 PM.

Re: BTDT BF moms: Need some insight

Thanks everyone. Your advice etc has convinced me to stick it out a few more weeks and see how it goes.

I think I am so used to DS #1 who was FF and therefore not looking to eat every hour or so that I thought it was signal of an issue.

So here is another question***

Should I limit how long I offer him the breast? Most times he is on there 30+ minutes..I would say he is actively sucking 60-70% of the time and I will still hear swallowing late in the feeding.

Thanks again! I am sure that I will have more questions soon!

Re: BTDT BF moms: Need some insight

First of all, you are doing amazing!!

When I decided to BF DS I gave myself to 6 weeks to get the hang on it.

I remember distinctly weeks 4-6 were the hardest. Then week 7 it was like it all just clicked. Latch was great, nursing sessions were successful and we were both happy.

So far seems to be holding true this time with the twins. I am in week 5 and feel like we have been through the ringer. But I am determined to make it to at least 6 weeks.

With DS I nursed on demand for however long he wanted. Never kept track of the last time he nursed or for ho long.

This time once they fall asleep/loose their latch and it has been at least 20 minutes I put them down. If they full, I will then offer the paci because I usually have to work on the other one. But I do keep track of time this time and if they start complaining after an hour has passed I will nurse again.

Re: BTDT BF moms: Need some insight