Do you hold grudges? If so, why or why not?

I know many have an attitude of "letting things go" and "rising above," "life is too short," and such, and I get that for some situations, but not all.


I'm not talking about if someone killed your kitten or if you were in an abusive relationship, but for the times were you done wrong.....how are you most likely to handle it?

Re: Do you hold grudges? If so, why or why not?

Re: Do you hold grudges? If so, why or why not?

Message edited 12/23/2010 12:46:34 PM.

Re: Do you hold grudges? If so, why or why not?

I'm not evolved enough to let things go and rise above.

When you p*ss me off, I'm pretty much done with that person. Especially if it's friends, because quite frankly life is too short to have drama with a friend. I have zero patience for anything like that. To those who ARE my true friends, I am the most loyal.

As for family, I will be more lenient. But if it's big enough, I have no issue cutting someone out of my life. One of my sisters and I have no spoken in 6 years, and if I never speak to her again, it would not matter to me.

Re: Do you hold grudges? If so, why or why not?

I used to hold them for every.little.thing. But as I've grown older I've seen how much time I've wasted and how much energy I've spent holding grudges. Usually is it not worth it to me, but it depends on the situation, of course.

Re: Do you hold grudges? If so, why or why not?

For situations you describe (ie., not a be-all, end-all kind of thing), I don't hold a grudge the first time someone wrongs me.

But if it happens again, then that person is cut out of my life entirely. I don't hold a grudge - I just cut them out. At that point, they're useless to me.

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me.

Re: Do you hold grudges? If so, why or why not?

I tend to hold them... altho I'd like to say Im getting a bit better letting stuff go with age...

Re: Do you hold grudges? If so, why or why not?

I have two in my life.

I'm over what has actually happened but NOT over scowling at even the thought of these people.

Sorry, but... screw you once, your fault... screw you twice, ehh... you're an A-hole, screw you repeatedly and then become your in-law -- all bets are off. Fukk people who are a-holes repeatedly.

Re: Do you hold grudges? If so, why or why not?

I hold them to a point. Will I be nasty to that person forever no but things just wont be the same as they were in that specific relationship.

Re: Do you hold grudges? If so, why or why not?

Yes...because I am a Scorpio.

Re: Do you hold grudges? If so, why or why not?

I tend to not hold a grudge, to me it is a waste of my energy. When I was younger I did it more, but as I have gotten older I realized it didn't do anything but keep me angry.

If there is someone who who doesn't seem to learn/change I won't spend time with him/her but I won't let the actions eat at me.

I have a close relative who I don't see eye to eye with, I don't like how she treats people. I don't really stay in contact with her, but when she is at a family function I am not cold towards her, I just don't get involved in her life.

Re: Do you hold grudges? If so, why or why not?

I will forgive but I may never forget.

Re: Do you hold grudges? If so, why or why not?

Message edited 12/23/2010 12:54:42 PM.

Re: Do you hold grudges? If so, why or why not?

Depends on what the situation is.

I do ignore people that have a consistent pattern of being as azzhole.

Re: Do you hold grudges? If so, why or why not?

Only against redheads.

Re: Do you hold grudges? If so, why or why not?

Posted by MrsA714

Yes...because I am a Scorpio.

Re: Do you hold grudges? If so, why or why not?

No.

For one I have a bad memory so I honestly and truly forget things which I personally think is a GOOD thing.

Now if you do something horrific there is no coming back and yeah I will hold a grudge.

But most things I get over. And I do not just say that, I truly can forgive, forget and move on.

It is one of my better qualities

Re: Do you hold grudges? If so, why or why not?

Totally depends on the person.

Re: Do you hold grudges? If so, why or why not?

No, I don't hold grudges. My brother has been awful to me, but if he asked for forgiveness, I would give it. It's not that I'm holding a grudge against him...we just don't talk (by his choosing).

For me personally, Jesus forgave people who who beat him and nailed him to a cross. When I look at that, I can't hold a grudge. That's just my personal experience though. I don't judge people who hold grudges...people do awful things to each other that probably do deserve a grudge!

Re: Do you hold grudges? If so, why or why not?

I don't hold grudges at all. I forget about things literally 5 minutes after they are done. And I have this thing where I try to justify why the person did what they did and I just end up feeling sorry for them.
DH on the other hand holds grudges like it's his job.

Re: Do you hold grudges? If so, why or why not?

i forgive but i NEVER forget

Re: Do you hold grudges? If so, why or why not?

It totally depends. If it's something small, unimportant, I can get over it & forget it pretty easily. If it's something major (I'm thinking in particular about relatives we have who did something so terrible to us that I could never forgive it), in that case I never forget.

Re: Do you hold grudges? If so, why or why not?

I rarely hold a grudge.

Re: Do you hold grudges? If so, why or why not?

When I was younger I used to hold grudges, but then I realized the only person I was really hurting was myself. I can only control myself and my reactions to things. Once I was able to let go of the hurt, pain, and frustration, I was able to forgive. I did not forget what happened, I just forgave. It took me a while to get to that point but once I did I was so much happier. It was one of the best gifts I gave myself. Now that the person has passed on, I find that I am ok with it. I think had I not made amends I would be still upset and the only person that would hurt was me.

ETA: For small things I don't hold grudges.

Message edited 12/23/2010 8:29:58 PM.

Re: Do you hold grudges? If so, why or why not?

I totally hold grudges! I have an uncle who has been dead for over 10 years and I'm still ****** that he got arrested the night of a Middle School dance in 1989 and I had to pick up the phone when the police called....which totally ruined the dance for me.

While it might not be healthy to hold onto things like that....it's also a good reminder for me to lead a good life, make smart choices, and not becoming a raging alcoholic who winds up drinking himself to death.