Recent Mom of 2 vent

I am having a really hard time. My 1st DD is 2 and has been pretty terribe. She has been acting out and it seems to be getting worse. I feel so sad for her bc I know its a hard adjustment and I really miss the relationship I had with her before. I feel like I am just yelling at her all the time. The baby is only a month old and has reflux and demands to be held pretty much 24-7. Please someone who has BTDT tell me it gets better....

Re: Recent Mom of 2 vent

I'm only four months in and it is hard but slowly getting better. We have good days and bad. I find my older DD does so much better on the days we can get out of the house and do something. I also try to spend some one on one time with her on the weekend when DH is home to watch the baby.

DD is very vocal and says things to me like mommy you are my best friend I miss playing with you... It breaks my heart but I have to take care of the baby too.

Re: Recent Mom of 2 vent

My DS is 21 m/o, DD is 2 m/o. It has been tough to say the least, and we are by no means close to getting in a groove, but it is improving. In the beginning, DS acted out in an attempt to get my attention, and because he was upset that he didn't have my undivided attention. I just explained to him over and over that the baby needs my help right now, and that he has to be a big boy now and help mommy. He has slowly got the point, and is improving.

I make sure to have some alone time with DS everyday. Most mornings, if the timing works, DD sleeps while DS and I eat breakfast, watch Sesame Street, sing and play. During the day, I make sure to include DS in "helping" me with the baby. He really can't help much, but he'll pass me a diaper, give DD her paci, etc., and I thank him and tell him what a good big brother he is....his face lights up like a xmas tree lol.

When DH gets home, he takes over with DD. I put DS to bed, and that's our cuddle time. I lie with him while he drinks his bottle, we read books, and I stay with him til he falls asleep. I feel like setting aside some time, even if it's a small amount, helps DS and I reconnect b/c he had been so used to mommy's attention 24/7.

I also agree with PP, it helps to get out, even if it's just for a walk. My DD loves to be held too, so I bjorn her and push DS in his buggie. Hang in there, take it day by day, and it will improve.

Message edited 11/7/2010 6:54:08 AM.