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cjik
Welcome 2010!
Member since 2/06 8879 total posts
Name:
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Re: WDYT about accepting help?
I think this is fantastic. You get a break, your mother is happy with DC, and DC is spending time with grandparents, which is fabulous. As long as your mother has no problem with it, take the help! Struggling won't make you a better mother.
If you are at all concerned, ask her directly if she minds, and tell her to let you know if it ever becomes too much for her. But it doesn't sound like that's the case.
Enjoy!!!
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Posted 9/6/10 2:21 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: WDYT about accepting help?
Posted by Diana1215
It sounds like a dream come true to me.
If your parents enjoy it I see no problems with it at all.
I totally agree!
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| Posted 9/6/10 2:27 PM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
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Re: WDYT about accepting help?
Posted by Karen
Posted by janedoe
You should let DH have DD for an entire day and night without any help what so ever and then see what he thinks about the situation with your parents. I bet you he will change his mind!  
Totally agree with this! If he is being that harsh about it, I would hand him the baby either Saturday or Sunday and take off for the day. Let him do it with zero help and see how he handles it.
ITA with this too!
You should tell your parents to be um "busy" that day
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| Posted 9/6/10 2:28 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Re: WDYT about accepting help?
take help......
but i do also see his side of it... if your parents are seeing baby every morning & night and he's not having much time with baby then he may feel that baby might start to think one of the grandparents is an actual parent....
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| Posted 9/6/10 2:37 PM |
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CucumberGirl
You give the best smiles!
Member since 1/09 2398 total posts
Name:
M~
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Re: WDYT about accepting help?
I see nothing wrong with this - I take all the help I can get and I don't feel like I'm taking advantage - our families love DD and would spend every second of the day with her if they could. If it were me and I were the grandma, I'd want to help too so I don't think there's anything wrong at all with this.
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| Posted 9/6/10 9:01 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: WDYT about accepting help?
Take the help and don't look back. LOL
My inlaws live next door. They are snowbirds. I will say, I miss them like crazy in the winter.
They help us out on Wed. Nights and weekends (for parties or an event) when needed.
It's not an everyday thing.
What you have is awesome! Enjoy it!
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| Posted 9/6/10 9:07 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: WDYT about accepting help?
Thanks everyone! I walked with my mom to the park today and asked if she minded helping me out so much and she looked at me like I was crazy. We lived with my grandmother growing up and my mom got just as much help!
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| Posted 9/6/10 9:40 PM |
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Re: WDYT about accepting help?
in similar situation with my inlaws and sometimes i do feel like im taking advantage but they really want to help and be there for us. both of them are retired and do not really do much outside of the house.
go with your gut feelings i think your doing fine.
before we moved in with my inlaws sometimes i would not shower for two days so i know how good it must feel just to have even that time to not worry if she is going to wake up.
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| Posted 9/6/10 9:42 PM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: WDYT about accepting help?
Your DH should be super grateful you have such help - enjoy it, and I'm sure you'll know if they ever are growing tired of it or need a break!
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| Posted 9/6/10 9:48 PM |
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lucyloo
nope
Member since 1/06 9758 total posts
Name:
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....
Message edited 3/7/2013 3:36:35 PM.
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| Posted 9/6/10 9:50 PM |
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youngmama
LIF Adolescent
Member since 4/06 530 total posts
Name:
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Re: WDYT about accepting help?
Our parents won't be around forever. Just watching my mom with my dd brings even more joy to my life. You are blessed to be able to share this with her. Accept it and enjoy!!!
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| Posted 9/6/10 9:54 PM |
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AMF1115
Loves being Joey & Vinny's mom
Member since 1/09 3771 total posts
Name:
Athina
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Re: WDYT about accepting help?
There is NOTHING wrong with accepting help. My in laws are amazing and very helpful with DS. I accept every single piece of it without apology. If I'm exhausted, frustrated or rushing how is that going to help DS. They let him sleep over, take him for walks, take him for a day here and there so I can re-charge. I dont get daily help but if I had someone to watch DS so I didn't have to rush thru my daily shower, I'd be thrilled!!!
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| Posted 9/7/10 8:26 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: WDYT about accepting help?
are you kidding me???
she is their baby too!!!
I am done baby making and look so forward to Josh's babies one day!
Your situation sounds wonderful
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| Posted 9/7/10 8:30 AM |
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Deeluvsvinny
DONE
Member since 10/08 4952 total posts
Name:
Whatever
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Re: WDYT about accepting help?
TAKE THE HELP! I think it's wonderful and so fortunate that you have your parents there to help. My parents do not live downstairs like you do, they live about 15 mins away. My mom comes over a few nights a week to see DD and those nights, she feeds, bathes and puts DD to bed. She enjoys it and I get a much needed break. I see absolutely nothing wrong with it!
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| Posted 9/7/10 8:57 AM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: WDYT about accepting help?
Speaking as someone who has no grandparents and had no one really close by to help me with a newborn, I say you are incredibly lucky to have your mom helping out.
I also think your daughter is blessed to be able to spend so much time with grandparents who love her. I think the more adults in a baby's life to love and care for them, the better.
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| Posted 9/7/10 9:04 AM |
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FelAndJon
needs to update her avatar pic
Member since 6/05 10212 total posts
Name:
Felice (aka LuckyBride2004)
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Re: WDYT about accepting help?
I think it is so wonderful that she is able to get to know her grandparents! In my opinion, I think everyone is benefiting from your "deal"!
When we go away with my parents (2 - 3 times a year), they generally take the kids in the morning and we can go back to sleep. My mom insists, who am I to turn her down . In fact, the baby usually sleeps in their room!
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| Posted 9/7/10 9:48 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: WDYT about accepting help?
I personally wouldn't do it every day - but I am a jackass who gets some sort of weird satisfaction out of doing 'it all' alone -Major personality flaw here, I've gotten bettet........
you're a much smarter woman than me ...........
I see NO reason why your DH should be put off by it, and no reason why you shouldn't accept help
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| Posted 9/7/10 10:17 AM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Re: WDYT about accepting help?
I see no problem at all.
You shouldn't feel guilty because you aren't 'struggling' enough. You don't have to suffer to be a great mom. If she's loved and cared for, then I say you're doing the right thing. If nothing else you enjoy her more and cherish every moment differently becaues you aren't as frantic or lost. You have that wonderful support system, use it! As long as it benefits everyone!
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| Posted 9/7/10 10:21 AM |
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MrsDrMatt
Live and RUN like a Ninja!
Member since 5/06 3104 total posts
Name:
MrsDrMatt
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Re: WDYT about accepting help?
I am going to go against everyone here..
I would NOT do it everyday. Perhaps your husband feels like there is wayyyy too much togetherness with your folks (every though they enjoy it). My guess is taht he wants to establish his OWN family unit of 3 outside of your parents.
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| Posted 9/7/10 10:34 AM |
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hunnybunnyxoxo
this is what it's all about
Member since 11/07 3321 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: WDYT about accepting help?
i do not think you are taking advantage. they are your family and MORE THAN HAPPY to help. i am sure they are waiting with baited breathe at every chance they get to be with their beautiful granddaughter.
me personally, i would prob. like that i can take a nice long hot shower, but i want to be the one that does all the bathing, feeding, dressing of the baby.
i dont know, i feel like i am the mother, this is what i do, its my responsibility and i am more than happy to do it. i LOVE doing all those things. help is nice, but i wouldnt want to be helped everyday.
i dont want to miss a thing esp since i work full time.
dressing, bathing, feeding is all apart of the bonding experience so for me this arrangement would not work but i dont see a problem with it for other people.
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| Posted 9/7/10 10:46 AM |
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Marbo
LOVE
Member since 7/08 2374 total posts
Name:
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Re: WDYT about accepting help?
Posted by MrsDrMatt
I am going to go against everyone here..
I would NOT do it everyday. Perhaps your husband feels like there is wayyyy too much togetherness with your folks (every though they enjoy it). My guess is taht he wants to establish his OWN family unit of 3 outside of your parents.
I agree with you, and Marisa up above. My IL's live next door and I have refused offer's of her coming in the am to watch the baby while I get ready for work and many others...maybe I am a control freak, I dunno. My MIL would love it if I left DD with her everytime I had to go somewhere...even creates reasons to babysit...and tells me to take my time everytime I do ask her to watch dd...she kind of makes me feel like she want's me to leave and never come back!
Might feel different if I was a stay at home and had a lot of time with DD.
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| Posted 9/7/10 10:57 AM |
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