WDYT about accepting help?

DH and I have ben "talking" (fighting LOL) about this for a few weeks, curious about what others thought.

We live with my parents. Ever since AnnaMaria has come into our lives, my parents have been awesome. In the morning, I will bring her downstairs for a bit if she is awake and my mom will watch her and I will take a nice long hot shower and then go get her. Sometimes, my mom will bathe her and get her dressed for me. And then at night, my mom will feed her and watch her as I run around and try to get some stuff done. Again, I will ofent go down and find her in PJs and fed and ready for bed.

My mom doesn't work and literally lights up when she sees her. My dad rushes home for work so he can see her for a bit before she goes to sleep. I don't see a reason to "pretend" like I don't have the help as long as I am not taking advantage and I don't think that I am.

DH works from 6AM to 10PM most days, so I am not taking away any of his time with her, my parents love it and I get to take my time with stuff.

He thinks that I am taking advantage of them and that I should kind of struggle through like all you other moms out there do.

(PS, if my mom is busy or not home I have NO problem taking a shower or doing things during her naptimes, I am not incompetent LOL)

So, what do you all think?

Re: WDYT about accepting help?

take help wherever you can get it... esp. since DH works such long hours!!

Re: WDYT about accepting help?

Re: WDYT about accepting help?

I see absolutely nothing wrong with taking the help. Why shouldn't you get some time to yourself in the morning?

Let your mom enjoy the time with her granddaughter.

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It sounds like you have a great relationship with your parents and they love your DD very much. I say, take the help!

Re: WDYT about accepting help?

You lucky thing. Take advantage of the situation while you can! Enjoy it! Sounds like you have a great situation!

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I think your so blessed. You have the help, and you know your parents love it. My mom was just here visiting for a week b/c we live in DC. It was such a relief to have her around. I didn't feel so overwhelmed, and she loves spending time w/ dd. I don't think your taking advantage at all. My DH works long hours too, it it tough to be alone all day. I think if your DH was home alone one day he would get it. I am jealous of your situation. Tell DH to relax your dd is lucky to have so many ppl around who love her.

Re: WDYT about accepting help?

Definitely take advantage - it's so nice to have some time to yourself to get things done. It's amazing how much quicker you can do it - and I am sure your parents are enjoying every minute of their grandparent time.

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We. Just moved back in with my parents and as much as I thought it was going to ruin my relationship with them, it has been great so far. I would take all the help you can get right now and enjoy your long showers!

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Definitely take the help! You are NOT taking advantage - your parents obviously LOVE being with your DD!

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What is he insane? Why should you struggle if you don't have to? Why should you all be miserable?

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It takes a village, and I'll never understand whyaccepting help is looked upon as being wrong somehow.

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I think if you have the help take it! Having a newborn (both times) was one of the hardest times of my life. I was exhausted, stressed, emotional, angry, resentful, happy, sad, etc. I didn't cope well b/c my babies were so hard. I wish I had help like that to just help me keep my sanity. I think your DH needs to be glad you have such a great resource available to you as a new mom.

Re: WDYT about accepting help?

I think you should accept the help! I don't understand why he wants you to struggle when he's out at work all day and your parents LOVE being with the baby.

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Take the help! I was on my own completely when ds was born. I literally knew no one where I lived, and because of the situation (and a VERY colicky newborn) I was miserable. I hated the newborn stage, and if I had had a little help, I think it would have been a different situation.
Like others have said, leave dh with dd for a day and see how much help he does'nt want. enjoy the help, and enjoy your baby!

Re: WDYT about accepting help?

Definitely accept any help your parents are willing to offer!

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You are NOT taking advantage. My parents help out so much with my DD (watch her while I work) and sometimes I feel guilty, but the time they share with my DD is such a blessing to them. <-- Their words, not mine.

Re: WDYT about accepting help?

It sounds like a dream come true to me.

If your parents enjoy it I see no problems with it at all.

Re: WDYT about accepting help?

i see nothing wrong with that at all!!! maybe your DH is worried you will "burn out" your parents, but honestly, if she didnt or couldnt help you out im sure she would tell you, or at least drop hints...

my in-laws live a few blocks away and my
MIL comes by 4 days/wk at 7am to do the morning feeding and watch my older DS for a few hours so i can get some uninterrupted sleep since the twins are still eating at 12:30 am and 3:30am. and i should mention that i have full-time nanny too that comes from 12-8pm 6 days/week. with 3 kids 3 and under i am so overwhelmed...i dont feel guilty about accepting help bc i cannot do it alone.

i believe that you take whatever help you can get bc the less tired you are, the better mom you are.

Re: WDYT about accepting help?

Take whatever help you can get. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that!!

Re: WDYT about accepting help?

Posted by janedoe

You should let DH have DD for an entire day and night without any help what so ever and then see what he thinks about the situation with your parents. I bet you he will change his mind!

Re: WDYT about accepting help?

you should take whatever help you can get...and if theyaren't complaining neither should he

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I think that it's wonderful that you have such a support system!

If it were me, I would just think maybe I wouldn't do it every day, since I wouldn't want it to become an expectation for her, and feel like she would be getting up earlier herself or rearranging her day to do that for you, KWIM? I'm just very worried about burning out the grandparents though--my mom watched DS for 6 months 3 days a week while I worked, and it was way too much for her, and from then on I am much more sensitive about putting too much on the grandparents. I know she also felt bad saying no, so it continued until a health issue made her unable to watch DS at all.

Re: WDYT about accepting help?

DH and I rely on my inlaws so much, I would always accept help! why should you be stressed and tired if you don't have to be I'm a SAHM and my inlaws take the kids usually once a week. the also make us food all the time to take home. I feel sooooo lucky , but never guilty. your DH really should stay quiet since he is not around too much anyway

Re: WDYT about accepting help?

Posted by Karen

Posted by janedoe

You should let DH have DD for an entire day and night without any help what so ever and then see what he thinks about the situation with your parents. I bet you he will change his mind!

Totally agree with this! If he is being that harsh about it, I would hand him the baby either Saturday or Sunday and take off for the day. Let him do it with zero help and see how he handles it.