Pregnant BM question

So if you could control it....what is the max amount of month's pregnant you would want to be as a BM?

Some of you might have seen my other posts about taking a break for my brother's wedding, which is this summer.
We tried up until September and then planned to break until the new year. If I had gotten pregnant this past cycle, I'd be due a week before the wedding and this is my only brother so I definitely don't want to miss his wedding.

If I got pregnant this coming cycle, I'd be due 3 weeks or so after. My initial thought was I'd be really uncomfortable and look ridiculous in a BM dress. DH and I are both in the wedding party. So we decided to wait to start TTC at least another month, so I'd be 7 months or less (depending on when it actually happens). Well I decided....DH think it's ridiculous to put our life on hold for one day and we've had some arguments over it. The wait is killing me too, because I so want to be pregnant, but it's also my brother's wedding and I don't want to risk missing it or potentially steal any thunder from him and my fsil.

I'm just curious, would you wait? Would you continue trying?

TIA.

Message edited 11/10/2009 12:33:42 PM.

Re: Pregnant BM question

I'm in the same situation....I had a m/c in June...and now am on my 2nd cycle TTc...my sisters wedding is Oct 2nd...this is the last cycle before I take a 1 month break...I just don't want to be due right on her wedding. I don't mind being 9 months or 8 months pregnant...i just want no chance of being in labor at that time.

I want this soo much...but I also want my sister to have her special day...I spoke to her about it and she is perfectly fine w/ me being REALLY pregnant...I wish it didn't come down to this but it's really in gods hands anyway...

Re: Pregnant BM question

Just knowing how little control we have over how long it will take to get pregnant (as much as we don't want to admit it), i would not put your plans on hold for now and i would continue trying.
But that's me, and that's my answer after TTC'ing for the past 10 months.
I would hope that your brother will understand no matter what situation you'll be in.
I know you want to enjoy the day as much as you can, but it is only one day and you being pregnant doesn't really have an effect on anyone but you (meaning i don't think it would have an impact on your brother)
To try and exert that amount of control over a situation that is out of your hands just seems pointless to me. But, again, thats me.
However, since its something that you and DH are arguing over, you guys definitely need to be on the same page about it.
Maybe you can come to a compromise and not try for this month, but start again next month.

good luck

Re: Pregnant BM question

We did this, and I regret it. My best friend is getting married in June, and I didn't want to risk missing her wedding. So we postponed TTC for a month. And then we didn't get pregnant in October, either.

Moral of the story: Don't postpone TTC because you're afraid of what might happen. If you're ready, go for it - everything will fall into place.

Re: Pregnant BM question

If you are only delaying for a couple weeks thats not so bad- I would definately do that for my sister so that I could be there

Re: Pregnant BM question

Message edited 11/10/2009 1:36:10 PM.

Re: Pregnant BM question

I always answer this sort of question the same way................don't put off TTC because of parties, weddings, vacations, etc. etc. I had some trouble getting pregnant and of course, like everyone, I just always assumed that I would get pregnant with no problem and it didn't happen that way. I feel like if you are ready now then try now and don't miss an opportunity to get pregnant. You have no idea what the road ahead may be like. It's not to say you will have any trouble but the point is, you never know. I personally wouldn't put off TTC for anything. For me, getting pregnant was priority #1 above and beyond anything and everything else.

Re: Pregnant BM question

Message edited 11/10/2009 3:25:37 PM.

Re: Pregnant BM question

Sorry double post

Message edited 11/10/2009 3:25:13 PM.

Re: Pregnant BM question

My sister was Prego at my wedding - she had the baby 2 weeks later!! I felt bad for her, but she was a trooper - we had a Greek ceremony, so she had to stand on the altar for about an hour - we kept telling her to sit, but she didn't want to.
I think she looks adorable in all of my pictures!
I would never have wanted her to postpone TTC, you don't know how long it is going to take.

Message edited 11/10/2009 3:56:14 PM.

Re: Pregnant BM question

I'm in a wedding in May, so my situation is a little different because the most pregnant I can be is 5 months (I'm going off the pill in a week and we are trying right away.... hopefully my cycles will be regular!!!!!!!!)

I say don't put off TTC, do it when it's right for YOU!

Re: Pregnant BM question

I wouldn't do it. DH and I considered taking time off from TTC so that I wouldn't be in labor at his brother's wedding, but when you're ready, you're ready and you need to live your life for yourself to some extent, and frankly, it's out of your hands anyway. It took awhile for me to get pregnant, after delaying for all kinds of reasons (but not the wedding) that I later regretted once we started having difficulty. My cycles were long too and so taking off meant a lot more than a month, which only made it worse for me. Looking back, I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown before my BFP and probably should've been on anti-depressants - I didn't take our issues well at all. So in hindsight, I honestly can't believe I even considered putting off something that truly meant (and means) more to me than anything - for any reason. Sometimes you don't realize how badly you want something until you start having trouble and you just never know what your TTC journey is going to be like.

Re: Pregnant BM question

one of my BM's was due in October and she was in my wedding which was in August and my other friend's wedding which was in September and she did fine. she didn't dance much but i was happy to have her there preggers or not. so i think as long as you're not due the month she's getting married u should be ok.