so disappointed

so dh and I have been married since last July and bought our first home this past July. We both want children and last year we decided we would try in October right after my sisiters wedding.

Well we had the talk last night and dh wants to wait until March/April to ttc. I was very disappointed to say the least. I am 110% ready and it is starting to take over my mind.

Dh knows that most couples will conceive within 3-6 months so his thought is that if we start in March then hopefully we will conceive around June which would make me due around March.

Why is this important to him? Well, I am a teacher and he wants my maternity leave to be connected to my summer vacation, therefore I would not have to go back to work until the baby is about 6 months old rather than 3 months.

I understand his reasoning but you all know that this is something that is out of our control. I just want to start, I am sooooo ready. I am 30 and dh is 38, we are getting up there.

Sorry this is long, but I am so sad and was hoping some of you could give me some words of advice. March just seems like an eternity away and what if it doesn't happen right away, or what if it does and then I am due in December, and dh's plan doesn't work.

UGH so aggrevated and disappointed.

Re: so disappointed

Thats so hard...well you have to come to some sort of compromise, maybe meet somewhere in the middle like january?

He has to undertsand that it may not be timed perfectly, it may take longer then that or shorter.

Maybe he is not ready yet?

Good Luck!!

Re: so disappointed

Just my 2 cents but as someone who experienced fertility problems and ended up at an RE to get pregnant my advice to everyone always is: If you are ready for a baby now then just do it and don't worry about trying to plan and fit a baby in at a specific time because more often than not things don't go according to plan.

It's not to say you won't get pregnant in the time frame that you won't but I think people get so caught up in timing and assuming it will happen exactly when they want that they waste time now where they could be trying. KWIM??? If you're both ready now I say start now because you never know what will happen in the future.

Good luck!!

Re: so disappointed

Posted by Hofstra26

Just my 2 cents but as someone who experienced fertility problems and ended up at an RE to get pregnant my advice to everyone always is: If you are ready for a baby now then just do it and don't worry about trying to plan and fit a baby in at a specific time because more often than not things don't go according to plan.

It's not to say you won't get pregnant in the time frame that you won't but I think people get so caught up in timing and assuming it will happen exactly when they want that they waste time now where they could be trying. KWIM??? If you're both ready now I say start now because you never know what will happen in the future.

Good luck!!

Re: so disappointed

I understand what you are saying 100%. That's what happened with us too. I was ready only about 6 or 7 months into our marriage to start a family, but DH really wanted us to wait until that Year mark for many many reasons (which I will not get into now). Even though I TOTALLY understood his reasoning and really did agree that he was being wise and it would be the best thing... it still hurt me to have to wait any longer because I really truly felt READY. But now that we have reached the point where we are BOTH ready, I know that it was the best thing to do and I am so happy that we did wait.

So yes, it may be tough... but in the end it may just be for the best. Only you & Dh can know.

Re: so disappointed

woops.... double post

Message edited 11/2/2009 10:36:33 AM.

Re: so disappointed

Posted by Hofstra26

Just my 2 cents but as someone who experienced fertility problems and ended up at an RE to get pregnant my advice to everyone always is: If you are ready for a baby now then just do it and don't worry about trying to plan and fit a baby in at a specific time because more often than not things don't go according to plan.

It's not to say you won't get pregnant in the time frame that you won't but I think people get so caught up in timing and assuming it will happen exactly when they want that they waste time now where they could be trying. KWIM??? If you're both ready now I say start now because you never know what will happen in the future.

Good luck!!

Re: so disappointed

I know exactly where you're coming from. DH and I had this exact conversation a year ago. I wanted to start earlier than he did, and we wound up compromising on this fall.

You and your DH have to be on the same page with this. Is his rationale really just the timing? Or is it an excuse to postpone TTC?

to you and good luck with everything!

Re: so disappointed

I'm sorry! Maybe let a little time go by and try talking to him again

Re: so disappointed

I am sorry...

Re: so disappointed

Im so sorry

Def. try to talk to your DH and tell him how you feel... I feel like as much as we plan and plan, sometimes things dont happen exactly when we want them to. Some people can get pregnant right away and other takes monthsssssss. I would hate for you to wait too long and then it not happen right away.

I waited too long to get off the pill and now we both want a baby like right now...but now we have to wait and see how my body regulates so I dont even know how long my cycles are or when I ovulate

Re: so disappointed

Posted by babybelly12

Im so sorry

Def. try to talk to your DH and tell him how you feel... I feel like as much as we plan and plan, sometimes things dont happen exactly when we want them to. Some people can get pregnant right away and other takes monthsssssss. I would hate for you to wait too long and then it not happen right away.

I waited too long to get off the pill and now we both want a baby like right now...but now we have to wait and see how my body regulates so I dont even know how long my cycles are or when I ovulate