and its started... re: breastfeeding!

So since i could ever remember and thoughout nursing school i have always said breastfeeding is just not for me.. i do not feel guilty and feel i should be respected for my decision. Well Dh's bestfriend has a baby and highly believes in breastfeeding and the 2 of them have been sending subtle yet digs at me for not wanting to do so for my baby. im only 8 weeks along and feel like i have so long to go and i will not be so nice when it gets closer with my responses. i know the benifits of breastfeeding but i know its not for me. and i am a firm believer that if the mother is not into breastfeeding and is uncomfortable with it the baby and mother will not bond the same. (these are my beliefs)

im just wondering if anyone has a good response for me to tell them when it starts up?

Re: and its started... re: breastfeeding!

i applaud your decision to breastfeed, however this is a very personal decision and i have thought long and hard about it.

i would appreciate it if you showed some respect for me and didn't hurt my feelings with your suggestions.

maybe???

Re: and its started... re: breastfeeding!

thats good jess thank you!

i really dont want to sound mean or rude.. Because i really do think its great when women want to breastfeed but i ont feel like i need to be reprimanded when i choose to not do the same!

Re: and its started... re: breastfeeding!

I wish I had words for you, but I don't just tons of .

I breastfed for a single feeding and knew it was not for me. DS has flourished beautifully into a happy and healthy little booy without. I don't plan to even try with this baby.

I totally feel what you are going though because I have felt such judgment and criticism for what should be a very personal choice. While applaud moms who CHOSE to do this, I don't see why I can't have that same acceptance.

Just stick to your guns and know that you are doing what works for you!

Re: and its started... re: breastfeeding!

Posted by Gatsbygirl

I wish I had words for you, but I don't just tons of .

I breastfed for a single feeding and knew it was not for me. DS has flourished beautifully into a happy and healthy little booy without. I don't plan to even try with this baby.

I totally feel what you are going though because I have felt such judgment and criticism for what should be a very personal choice. While applaud moms who CHOSE to do this, I don't see why I can't have that same acceptance.

Just stick to your guns and know that you are doing what works for you!

Re: and its started... re: breastfeeding!

I had someone lecture me on breastfeeding at my Grandmothers Wake. YEP!

I simply said "It's not for me - end of discussion" --- WHY people think it's ok to push their way onto others is unbelievable!

You will get many people who will question things you do as a mother - from breastfeeding, to sleeping, to dressing them, you name it. As long as you are comfortable with what you are doing - that's all that counts!

Re: and its started... re: breastfeeding!

I really don't think that you should have to justify yourself but if you do, tell them that you have thought about it and that you've made an educated decision in the best interest of both you and your child. I don't think you need to go beyond that.

Re: and its started... re: breastfeeding!

thank you all very much im glad im not alone!

and your right i dont have to justify myself!

Message edited 12/11/2008 9:54:31 PM.

Re: and its started... re: breastfeeding!

I breastfed both of my children.

I would respond "I'm glad it's working for you. I'm going to make the right decision for me & my family."

Remember....happy mommy = happy baby. If you're not comfortable, do what's right for you.

I would also say - from experience - you may not want to rule it out until you're there. I know many moms breastfed after swearing it was not for them & that they were not comfortable with their body. I can't even count of the times I've gone back on a "I will never___".

etd to fix the happy part. I must have been too tired

Message edited 12/12/2008 12:20:09 PM.

Re: and its started... re: breastfeeding!

great suggestions, girls!

whatever you do say, make sure you're firm about it so they won't bug you again about it in the 7 months left! ugh i can just imagine how awful that'd be if they're constantly harassing you!

Re: and its started... re: breastfeeding!

I have no suggestions but people are sooo annoying about it!!!!!!!

Everyone does what is right for them and their child.

You just have to ignore them honestly because it doesn't stop even after you have the baby

Re: and its started... re: breastfeeding!

I agree with the above posts, you need to do what feels right for you. I would simple say it is your decision and it's not up for discusson!
I actually have the opposite problem right now. I plan to breatsfeed and one of my friends is telling me hat I wont be able to do it blah blah blah....

Re: and its started... re: breastfeeding!

You have to do what is right for you. The hardest part of the decision is the pressure you feel from everyone else. In my heart I knew it wasn't for me, but felt I needed to try it. I hated it and after a few days went to formula. I wish I hadn't even bothered, I was miserable those first few days. Next time around I won't even try it. I would just say you are going to play it by ear. That way people left me alone. Or I would say I was going to try- they don't have to know. It's so bizzare to me how people think they have a right to ask about it in the first place.

Re: and its started... re: breastfeeding!

I had SO many people tell me I was doing the wrong thing when I decided not to breast feed my first. It's just not for me. I am debating whether or not I will try it with my second since I know I am not going to be working. It's definitely a personal decision and completely up to you as a mom.

Re: and its started... re: breastfeeding!

welcome to motherhood - EVERYONE has an opinion about absolutely EVERYTHING that you do and will have NO qualms about expressing that opinion (usually in as rude a way as possible).

i would say something like, "with all due respect, i've already made a decision about this issue and i don't feel the need to discuss it with you or anyone else".

your decisions shouldn't be up for debate. end of story.

Re: and its started... re: breastfeeding!

just say, its a personal decision and i decide not to do it- its non of anyone's business anyway. My DD was bottlefed- and her and i were/are inseperable (she is 8 now). I BF DS for 2 weeks and couldnt produce enough milk for him and his bond is with my husband- they are inseperable (he is 16 months) EVERYTHIGN is daddy.
so the "bond" can be created either way.

Re: and its started... re: breastfeeding!

Re: and its started... re: breastfeeding!

First, let me sy it boggles my mind why some people feel the need to PUSH their beliefs and thoughts on someone. I am getting it also, but FOR breast feeding. I have told those, thanks for your advice, you raised your kids and I will raise mine. You should not feel like you need to defend yourself with people. It really pissses me off. Tell them to Go suck a fat one.


***Disclaimer***

I am highly tired and super moody. I aplogize.

Oh and "Go suck a fat one" is a reg trademark of ME!

Re: and its started... re: breastfeeding!

Posted by 5ofClubs
You just have to ignore them honestly because it doesn't stop even after you have the baby

Re: and its started... re: breastfeeding!

Re: and its started... re: breastfeeding!

I would just say exactly how you feel.. its not for you, your not comfortable with the idea and thats it.. Your body your baby youll do what you feel is right for the both of you and for them to keep their opinions to themselves. Im sure along the road of motherhood they will do things or not do things that you feel is best for the child too.

I can totally relate to how your feeling.. I was soo not into the idea of bfing, no one in my family ever did it, and was never planning on it. Then I married dh and his family did do it, and they mentioned to me and I was like no way. Then one day DH asked me alone that if I would at least try for him.. so I did. It was soo hard bfing.. emotionally, phsyically .. but I kept trying for dh.. but it was alot to ask of someone who never really felt comfortable with the idea before. I only lasted bfing exclusively for 4 months and then supplemented until 6months. With this baby I will try again but told dh with a toddler running around my goal is the first 2 weeks then going from there.. and dont want any guilt trips if I decide to stop right away... Its my body.

Re: and its started... re: breastfeeding!

I would say, "Wow thats a very personal question, I am shocked you would ask"

Shuts them up immediately

Re: and its started... re: breastfeeding!

You just have to ignore it - b/c it won't stop, and I'm sure it's even worse once you actually ARE a Mom and people start observign what you're doing 'wrong'

I'm very abrupt about it to be honest - and if someone thinks I'm being rude, too damn bad.
Unless you're feeding your child poison, they all need to shurt the hell up -

I plan to pump and bottle feed the baby my breastmilk - I am not at all comfortable with the concept of nursing him - I'm not interested in hearing '"you should at LEAST try it, it's such a WONDERFUL thing" - well, maybe it was foryou, and that's great, for YOU - but it's not my thing .......then I get 'oh wait until he's born, you will change your mind when you see that little face' ........Sooooooo, you're saying that if I DON'T change my mind when I see that little face that I'm a cold hearted b*tch and a horrible mother ??

I just say it's not up for discussion.

Re: and its started... re: breastfeeding!

"Why do you want to know?"

Try that.

Re: and its started... re: breastfeeding!