What should I do?

I really really wanted to hold off on telling my employer until at least 12 weeks.

I have a sono scheduled for a week from Friday, I'll be 11 weeks.

My original plan was to tell my boss, the Wed before Thanksgiving (assuming all went well at that sono the Friday before) which would put me at 2 days shy of 12 weeks. I figured it would work out nice, since it would give her the long week to "swallow" my news.

PS- little by little people are finding out everywhere. I had one co-worker who was lurking on the boards, another who came to lunch with me and when I ran into a friends mom; she spilled the beans, and now a parent of a child in my sons class (which is where I work) also knows...

My boss will be very upset if she hears the news from someone other than me. Rightfully so, however Id hate to tell her and than GOD FORBID go for my sono and not see a heartbeat.

So here are my options (feel free to add if you think of something):

~Telling her now- explain I was trying to wait until the 12 week mark to ensure everything was ok, but wanted to make sure she heard it from me and that is why Im telling her now.

~ I rented a doppler which should arrive this week- I may or may not be able to pick up the heartbeat (it says between 8-12 weeks) Wait, and see if I pick up the HB- if I do- just tell her now period. If I dont then dont say anything.

~Stick to my original plan. Its only 2 weeks away, and just pray everyone keeps quiet.


ETA- I feel like if she ever found out before I told her- I would explain how I was nervous about having to tell her and then GOD FORBID something go wrong.

Message edited 11/10/2008 7:39:08 AM.

Re: What should I do?

I would stick to your original plan. I like to think that many people these days understand that this is YOUR news to share---and not theirs. This is how it was at my job at least when I told people on the "down low".

Re: What should I do?

Re: What should I do?

I still think you have a right to reveal when you think it's the right time. Honestly, who cares what your boss thinks?

Re: What should I do?

I had to tell my boss for the same reason. I was showing a little and EVERYONE figured it out and was talking in the halls. I just knew it would be a bad idea to let hime find out from someone else. Honestly if something went wrong at this point anyway I would need to take time off and he would know then.

I would tell him. JMO.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Re: What should I do?

I'd wait for the doppler and hope it's not too early to hear the heart beat and then tell. My boss is like yours and would not be happy if she found out from someone else.

Re: What should I do?

I'd tell her this Friday after your appointment with the sono. She still will have the weekend to soften the blow a bit and then you know things are ok b/c you had the sono

Re: What should I do?

Re: What should I do?

Posted by KateDevine

I'd tell her this Friday after your appointment with the sono. She still will have the weekend to soften the blow a bit and then you know things are ok b/c you had the sono

Message edited 11/10/2008 8:04:30 AM.

Re: What should I do?

When I told my boss at 10 weeks I explained why I was telling early and asked him to keep it quite. I know that he did because last week when I got a stomach virus and was REALLY sick at work, The AP didn't know that I was pregnant!

So what if you told her and asked her to keep it quiet? That grapevine thing gets crazy I guess people are excited for you.. but, I just wish they would shut it sometimes!

Re: What should I do?

I think I would tell my boss sooner rather than later. I understand about not wanting to tell until you have your 12 week sono, but if all these other people know-- what's the difference that your boss knows? Especially if you think she may have a bad reaction if she finds out from someone other than you.

Just tell her in confidence and ask her to keep it quiet-- as you are not ready to be officially out at work yet. Good luck!

I am not in the same work situation, but I told the person I work for because I wasn't feeling well-- so, I just wanted to explain my behavior. I am sure it will go well-- don't worry too much about it.

Re: What should I do?

Posted by 05mommy09

Posted by KateDevine

I'd tell her this Friday after your appointment with the sono. She still will have the weekend to soften the blow a bit and then you know things are ok b/c you had the sono

My apt is 1 week from Friday

ETA- I could tell her the Monday after, but that is only a 2 day differene from my original plan.

Re: What should I do?

I would tell her. I told my boss at 7 weeks because I felt sick and wanted to let him know why, and I asked him to keep it quiet. G od forbid anything did go wrong, I think I would want him to understand why I was upset anyway.