| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: [1] 2 |
longislemom
LIF Adult
Member since 8/06 912 total posts
Name:
|
Moms/girlfriends night out.... NO NO!
 so..um.. I need some opinions on this.
Last night I was talking to dh. Ive been wanting to get together with some of my girlfriends forever. Now keep in mind I havent been out with my friends since I had my first daughter (8 years ago). I mean we talk on the phone, go to the park, playground, beaches together but not just us... you know...
Anyways he said he doesnt feel a married mother of 3 kids should be out galivanting!!!  I said what do you mean... I have been out in ages, we are just gona a catch a movie, go to a cafe, diner, spa outing - that sort of thing....
once a month or so....
He said no!! I could nt believe it was him saying that... Im confused.
Am a wrong....for wanting some adult female company every now and then??
Im so bummed out today.
what say you.
thanks for letting me vent.
ETA: Im really never out of the house other than the gym, I babysit in my house so Im around the kids all day. Im not complaining.... jus saying....
Message edited 10/24/2008 9:44:24 AM.
|
Posted 10/24/08 9:41 AM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
|
Re: Moms/girlfriends night out.... NO NO!
umm 
No advice since it seems you just want to vent.. but
|
| Posted 10/24/08 9:43 AM |
| |
|
beachgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 7967 total posts
Name:
sara
|
Re: Moms/girlfriends night out.... NO NO!
You are not wrong at all. Maybe he is scared to be home along with the kids? If I were you I would come up with a definite plan - ie. we are going to the movies on wednesday night in 2 weeks and see how that goes down. Good luck
|
| Posted 10/24/08 9:44 AM |
| |
|
nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
|
Re: Moms/girlfriends night out.... NO NO!
I would be floored if DH said that to me. I guess your DH has just gotten so used to you being around, that he can't see your point of view right now. But you need to make him see it. You have every right to have some alone adult time.
|
| Posted 10/24/08 9:44 AM |
| |
|
pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
|
Re: Moms/girlfriends night out.... NO NO!
the day DH told me I could not go out with my girlfriends is the day he would be packing his sh!t.
You are allowed to go out once in a while with your friends.
|
| Posted 10/24/08 9:45 AM |
| |
|
2PreciousBlessings
The Perfect Pair
Member since 5/06 19861 total posts
Name:
Best Wife & Mommy
|
Re: Moms/girlfriends night out.... NO NO!
First of all, here's some
Your DH is very wrong and rude to tell you that. You deserve that. If I were you I would laugh in his friggin face and I would be parlaying with my girls he would just have to get over it. How dare him to say that to you. You need to step up and start to have a life of your own.
If my DH was to make the devil fool and he said something like that to me he would be sleeping outdoors in the yard for a dam long time. My DH would not dare say that to me because he knows better.
This is just so wrong on all levels. You are not a child and I don't think your husband needs to give you permission to go somewhere. Your Dh needs a reality check.
|
| Posted 10/24/08 9:46 AM |
| |
|
jea128
...
Member since 5/05 3415 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Moms/girlfriends night out.... NO NO!
You are not wrong at all. I'm actually having a night out with the girls tonight. You deserve a break every now and then. Does DH ever just go out with the guys?
If my DH ever said I couldn't go out with my girlfriends anymore, I'd kick my DH to the curb!!!!!
|
| Posted 10/24/08 9:51 AM |
| |
|
jerseypanda
Life is good.
Member since 1/07 9164 total posts
Name:
Amanda
|
Re: Moms/girlfriends night out.... NO NO!
First of all
You are not wrong at all. If I were you, I would be majorly ****** off.
You are a grown woman, wife, mother who deserves to go out with your friends and not have your children or DH around.
I would try to find out the real reason behind his words. There must be a reason greater than "you shouldn't be galavanting around". Once you figure out the root cause, maybe you can deal with that and ease his mind.
But for him to tell you you can't do it makes it seem like he feels he can control you. No, no, no... not good.
My question to you is: has your DH ever gone out with his friends in the last 8 years without you and the kids? If the answer is yes, he can consider himself a hypocrite.
|
| Posted 10/24/08 9:53 AM |
| |
|
MaMaTeenie
Party of 5
Member since 4/08 6489 total posts
Name:
Mommy
|
Re: Moms/girlfriends night out.... NO NO!
I don't think you are wrong, everyone needs a break and deserves to have some fun. Besides I don't think you will be out dancing on bars til 5 am......maybe just 4am  does DH get time with his buddies?
|
| Posted 10/24/08 9:57 AM |
| |
|
GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
|
Re: Moms/girlfriends night out.... NO NO!
I think a married mother of 3 NEEDS to go out without DH or DC. It's the only way to maintain your sanity.
I often try to convince DW to go out for a while, even if it's just to Borders for a little while.
|
| Posted 10/24/08 10:01 AM |
| |
|
DanaRenee
Fitness Junkie!
Member since 6/06 6470 total posts
Name:
Dana
|
Re: Moms/girlfriends night out.... NO NO!
He is soooooo wrong!
You need to do things for you, whatever you want, to keep your sanity...and overall keep yourself happy. I'd be p*zzzed if my DH said no! I'd go out anyway and try to explain to him why I needed it.
|
| Posted 10/24/08 10:04 AM |
| |
|
1stimemom
Love my boys
Member since 2/08 8766 total posts
Name:
Mrs Dee
|
Re: Moms/girlfriends night out.... NO NO!
Is he SERIOUS?!?!? It is not like you want to go out to clubs and stuff (that I would understand the hesitation) you are just looking for a way to relax and feel like a woman again instead of just a mom. No "galavanting" involved. I say you need to do it. If he is so against it, why doesn't he take you out on a date night?
|
| Posted 10/24/08 10:07 AM |
| |
|
Eireann
Two ladies and a gentleman!
Member since 5/05 12165 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Moms/girlfriends night out.... NO NO!
Oh no, that's not right! That's a very old-fashioned mentality. I am a SAHM too and I go out for coffee once a week with a friend of mine--also a mom of two. Last night, I went shopping and for dinner with two other mom friends. If my DH said ONE WORD to me about this I would be out the door anyhow. If I were going out to clubs once a week--OK, I could see an argument.
Sometimes we need to pick our battles, but this is one that definitely warrants picking!
Do the two of you make time for yourselves to get out as a couple? Without the kids? Maybe you could start there? If my DH never took me out, meanwhile went out to play darts every Tuesday (which he does), I wouldn't be too happy. Maybe you could create a balance like that, if it's lacking.
Best of luck to you...I hope you are able to discuss this rationally and most of all, I hope you're able to have an ADULT night out!!!
|
| Posted 10/24/08 10:11 AM |
| |
|
lovemy2boys
LIF Adult
Member since 10/07 3915 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Moms/girlfriends night out.... NO NO!
I can't believe your DH said no, just bc you are a mom doesn't mean you shouldnt be able to go out w/ friends with out the kiddies Does he go out w/ his buddies?
|
| Posted 10/24/08 10:15 AM |
| |
|
Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!
Member since 8/05 20181 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Moms/girlfriends night out.... NO NO!
Posted by GoldenRod
I think a married mother of 3 NEEDS to go out without DH or DC. It's the only way to maintain your sanity.
I often try to convince DW to go out for a while, even if it's just to Borders for a little while.
What a guy  My DH does the same. You HAVE to get out once in a while!! And getting together with gf's is far from galivanting!
Message edited 10/24/2008 10:34:32 AM.
|
| Posted 10/24/08 10:28 AM |
| |
|
Disneygirl
Disney cruise bound!
Member since 5/05 8126 total posts
Name:
D
|
Re: Moms/girlfriends night out.... NO NO!
Is he kidding you!? This isn't the 1950's where is he getting this mentality? As a pp said it's important to get out without the kids or spouse to keep your sanity. Everyone deserves a little "me" time. I wouldn't even be asking his permission I would just give him plenty of notice to make sure he is available to be a father and watch his children!!
|
| Posted 10/24/08 10:31 AM |
| |
|
beachgirl13
Mommy to 3 boys!
Member since 5/05 4114 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Moms/girlfriends night out.... NO NO!
You need some time for yourself, and being with your girlfriends is a nice break from the kids. You deserve it. He needs to see that somehow!
|
| Posted 10/24/08 10:32 AM |
| |
|
longislemom
LIF Adult
Member since 8/06 912 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Moms/girlfriends night out.... NO NO!
guys you are too funny... and as for sleeping out in the yard... im dying laughing over here
Thanks for all your support and advise.
on another note.. u know he is not a bad guy at all I do feel blessed in many ways.. and this has never really come up.
In a way I always felt guilty about wanting to leave my kids for some me time... but lately ive been feeling overwhelmed etc and just been taking a look at my self.. im looking all hagard(sp) and frumpy etc... and always have an excuse for my girlfriends ... u know...
He's never gone out really, maybe lunch with friends/co-workers in the city where he works but not out once he is home - just with the kids, the tv and on the internet - LOL!
He's always been so fair and understanding in everything... so that's why im floored by his response..
This morning he called from work to apologize and said 'once in a while' wouldnt be bad, he is just concerned for my safety because of drunkards at nights, guys who may flirt with me etc... whatever....
I know Im gona start stepp'n out with my girls tho......
|
| Posted 10/24/08 10:44 AM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Moms/girlfriends night out.... NO NO!
Posted by GaryElla
First of all, here's some
Your DH is very wrong and rude to tell you that. You deserve that. If I were you I would laugh in his friggin face and I would be parlaying with my girls he would just have to get over it. How dare him to say that to you. You need to step up and start to have a life of your own.
If my DH was to make the devil fool and he said something like that to me he would be sleeping outdoors in the yard for a dam long time. My DH would not dare say that to me because he knows better.
This is just so wrong on all levels. You are not a child and I don't think your husband needs to give you permission to go somewhere. Your Dh needs a reality check.
ITA!!!
He might be scared to take care of 3 kids by himself. He will do it once and I thnk he will be fine. He needs that time alone with them too.
DH was alone with my 2 last saturday for the entire day for the first time in 15 months. I knew he was hesitant but I him I was not taking the kids and he was fine with it. I came home and they were excited to see me (which by the way I never had before so I loved that) and they all had a blast. He even went out with them and he was fine. The only call I got was how much my DS ate because he isn't a big eater.
I say make plans and tell him a week in advance that you are going and that's it.
|
| Posted 10/24/08 11:33 AM |
| |
|
hbugal
Lesigh
Member since 2/07 15928 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Moms/girlfriends night out.... NO NO!
You are so definitely NOT WRONG!!!!
Although many men share your DH's sentiments...my EX being one of them.
I am married and I have 4 kids and 2 stepdaughters. Going out from time to time saves my sanity....
|
| Posted 10/24/08 11:53 AM |
| |
|
CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
|
Re: Moms/girlfriends night out.... NO NO!
Ummmm Galivanting???? I would have a huge fight with DH if this happened. I still go out with my girlfriends about once a month to dinner or a movie. You need and deserve that time off. I am pizzed for you!
|
| Posted 10/24/08 12:25 PM |
| |
|
Little-J-Mommy
I'm a Big Brother
Member since 5/06 8041 total posts
Name:
D
|
Re: Moms/girlfriends night out.... NO NO!
This was def about him not wanting to be home alone and imagining all th e guys hitting on you or whatever. Men have insecurities too. Don't blame him, you're probably a MILF
Anyway.....maybe if he has specifics like we're starting a book club and meeting in a restaurant monthly or a spa where there really aren't men and we're not "galavanting" he'd feel better about it. regardless.....go enjoy some adult time with your girls.....it's refreshing and you've earned it.
|
| Posted 10/24/08 12:26 PM |
| |
|
joenick
Us
Member since 6/06 9370 total posts
Name:
Valerie...aka...Do Me A Favor?
|
Re: Moms/girlfriends night out.... NO NO!
OMG...is he serious? Is he your father and are you 12?
I personally LIVE for my LNO's (Ladies Night Out(s)). In fact, I have one tonight. 
Once (or twice...) a month, I go out with OTHER mom friends to do WHATEVER. Basically, it doesn't matter WHAT we do, just as long as we are together, without our kids, so we can talk/ vent/ catch up/ gossip/ WHATEVER.
My husband would NEVER tell me I couldn't go out. He knows that I need adult interaction (I am a SAHM and have been for 7 years). Plus, we don't tell each other what we can/ can't do.
You need to stand up for yourself and tell your husband that you are going out. You don't need to ask for permission. You are an adult, and would like to spend time with your friends, without the kids underfoot.
He needs to understand. And if he doesn't, well then that's too bad. I'm sorry. This is a real sore spot for me. My DH feels bad for one of my friends who's DH is a tyrant.
No adult should should need permission to do something for themself.
Have a great time with your friends!
|
| Posted 10/24/08 12:37 PM |
| |
|
NJmom
.
Member since 8/05 4987 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Moms/girlfriends night out.... NO NO!
What?! You're entitled to a night out! My DH never gives me a hard time about a moms night out although I usually help get the kids to bed first (or at least DD since I'm EBF). He gets to go out with his friends for dinner or drinks after work so it's only fair. Hope he comes around and realizes he's being an a-hole!
|
| Posted 10/24/08 12:39 PM |
| |
|
nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Moms/girlfriends night out.... NO NO!
I wouldn't be happy about it & would do my own thing anyway. I'm sure your DH gets together with the guys on occasion & if not, well that's his preference. You need social interaction & want some adult time with friends. I don't think it's too hard to understand.
In my mind, the best thing you can do in a relationship is do be your own person - have a sense of yourself outside of "wife"' and "mom".
|
| Posted 10/24/08 12:40 PM |
| |
|
| Pages: [1] 2 |
