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sweetbabydreams
My Dream come true!
Member since 12/07 2205 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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DH and MOm think im nuts
I dont understand y people think this is crazy step and that im jumping the gun. YOu girls agree with me but they dont seem to understand. I told my mom this evening i am going to se an RE and she says WHY? (keep in mind my mom and I have a very open relationship, we are like BFF lol) anyways i told her well we have been trying for a year now and nothing is happening. She says... whats the rush. You got pregnant once. I told her yes i got pregnant and it was an empty sac and we know how that ended. DH feels he can do this on his own and we dont need help. I tried to explain to him it doesnt mean the problem is with him. But he has trouble bd on command becuase it is extremely painful for him when he ejaculates so why should we torture ourselves emotionally and pyscially. NOw them thinking this makes me think the RE doctor is going to thinking im jumping the gun as well. I dont want to be told im crazy. what do you girls think?
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Posted 4/4/08 10:31 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Babe49
M...
Member since 4/08 1880 total posts
Name:
Maria
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Re: DH and MOm think im nuts
You are so not crazy, I wish I had gone to the RE sooner, now I am 41 an still TTC. I had a mc last year March 07. Had a hole in the sac. Also had 2 mcs in my 20s. You do what you feel is necessary and right. My DH's aunt actually said this to me.."Gee, when I was young all it took was a few beers and whammy!" If only! Good luck!!
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| Posted 4/4/08 10:40 PM |
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sweetbabydreams
My Dream come true!
Member since 12/07 2205 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: DH and MOm think im nuts
Thanks... im just so nervous now about going. Is it wrong that the only methods i have tried is tracking on monthly cycles and using OPKS. and lots of BD is she gonna say i have to chart which seems very hard.
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| Posted 4/4/08 10:46 PM |
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Babe49
M...
Member since 4/08 1880 total posts
Name:
Maria
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Re: DH and MOm think im nuts
Honestly I only use the Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor. I get my egg and we BD like crazy. My DH sometimes feels the pressure of the EGG, so somethimes I just don't tell him we're "eggin'!"
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| Posted 4/4/08 10:52 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: DH and MOm think im nuts
Posted by Babe49
Honestly I only use the Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor. I get my egg and we BD like crazy. My DH sometimes feels the pressure of the EGG, so somethimes I just don't tell him we're "eggin'!"
I do the exact same thing. I don't actually mention anything to my husband b/c I want it to seem as "natural" as possible. I know we're doing it b/c it's the "right time" but I don't want him to realize that b/c I don't want to feel like we've lost the fun of just having sex. KWIM? I found when we first started TTC we were obsessing about when to do it and it took the fun out of trying. So now I just do my thing with testing and keep him out of the loop so to speak. It's made things much more normal for us.
Now, as for your mom and DH, I think honestly, your DH has a little denial going on here. There IS definitely a problem and it sounds to me like it may lie with him. While I understand the male ego can be fragile, he needs to get over it and acknowlege the fact that yes, you may not be getting PG b/c of him and his issues. There is nothing wrong with this, but I agree with your line of thinking. You know there's an issue and you're dealing with it up front. That's a good thing, you're being proactive.
As for your mom, this could be another issue of denial here as well. Lets face it, our parents don't want to believe their children may have a problem. Especially one they can't do anything about. So instead she's saying things like "what's the hurry" and "you got PG before" which could all be true, but deep down in YOUR gut, you have an uneasy feeling and if the only way you're going to find peace is by seeing an RE, then I say GO!!!
What's the worst thing to happen? He says there's nothing wrong with you? That's not a horrible thing.
Hang in there and trust your gut instincts, rarely, if ever have they been wrong for me.
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| Posted 4/5/08 12:07 AM |
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Kissy331
My two miracles!
Member since 5/06 17826 total posts
Name:
Kristen
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Re: DH and MOm think im nuts
You are not crazy & we went through the same thing....We haven't seen a RE yet but we are the process of seekin outside help bc after 11 months & nothing happening, I want answers...DH kept telling me I am jumping the gun & that we can do this on our own...After month 9, he just looked at me & said, I want to get a SA done bc I need to know what is up. Like you said, it is not saying there is something wrong, you just want to make sure...
Hang in there & know you are making the right decision. I can tell you this though, don't force this upon your DH bc there could be some resentment that comes with it  
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| Posted 4/5/08 6:00 AM |
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pickles16
Real Estate Professional
Member since 11/07 17227 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: DH and MOm think im nuts
I'm in the same boat as you are sort of...my mom and DH both think I'm crazy for scheduling an appt to a RE. This is our 6th month/6th cycle, but my thinking is if there is something wrong I'd rather not waste time and figure it out sooner rather than later....My DH has reluctantly agreed to get an SA, but my mother keeps saying, when I was young and living in Europe we didn't have any of these specialists and things like that, we would just BD until we got pregnant....she tell me to take it easy (I also have a really really close and open relationship with my mom)...
I only use the monitor as well as I think charting will make it that much more stressful...I DO NOT think you're jumping the gun...I think you're mom is like mine who is thinking its easier than it is, and is how it is when they were younger and your DH doesn't want to face reality, which may be very very hard for him to realize, its not an easy thing for him to admit that he may have the problem, and I do feel badly for him, but I think he'll come around!!!
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| Posted 4/5/08 7:57 AM |
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sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
Name:
Tricia
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Re: DH and MOm think im nuts
I think it would be nuts not too. Your dh is in pain. Go to the doctor and get some help or this process is going to drive you nuts.
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| Posted 4/5/08 8:06 AM |
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sasha96
lovin' my 2 little ladies!
Member since 5/05 7401 total posts
Name:
Julianne
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Re: DH and MOm think im nuts
I agree that this is a logical next step and I don't think you are jumping the gun. The RE might or might not be too interested in your charting temps...he'll run his tests anyway. You are looking for answers and a plan.
Some people are afraid of the unknown and what a doctor might ask you to do. Your DH may be afraid b/c he will likely need to see a doctor. Everyone has a different reaction. When we told our parents we saw an RE to get PG they both had no problems with it. My mother really understands that this baby was very wanted for us to do what it took with a doctor. 
Message edited 4/5/2008 10:38:42 AM.
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| Posted 4/5/08 10:36 AM |
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ynot2
LIF Adolescent
Member since 3/08 695 total posts
Name:
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Re: DH and MOm think im nuts
I totally understand what you're going through. I had been TTC for a year and nothing was happening. Finally my OB/GYN recommended that we see an RE. When I told my mom (who I am also very close with) she said that I was blowing this out of proportion and that I was being an alarmist! I was so upset by her reaction and almost canceled the appt.
Ends up, going to the RE was the best decision that I made! The RE that I am going to is wonderful and I am very happy that I did not listen to my mother and continue to wait longer!
I have only been to the RE twice and I am still at the very beginning of everything but I did get some answers already that I would not have gotten had I waited longer!
So, you are making the right decision to start with an RE!
GL!
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| Posted 4/5/08 12:43 PM |
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pharmcat2000
Mom of 2 + 1
Member since 10/05 7395 total posts
Name:
Catherine
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Re: DH and MOm think im nuts
No, I don't think you're nuts. I think a year is a long time to be trying without any answers. I agree that your DH might have a problem, which is why he has pain so he may be in denial. I think you should go so you can get answers. If they find that there is something wrong with DH maybe he can get it taken care of, or at least speed up the process of conceiving so that he can start taking the medicine they recommended to relieve his pain.
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| Posted 4/6/08 2:22 AM |
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