Really sad this morning... updated with some fairly good news

Updated:

Well they went this morning and they said that there are two growths and that the edges have changed... which is most likely a sign that they are malignant. Because he goes every few months for cat scans, they caught them at about 1/2 inch each. They are scheduling a petscan and the surgery. They said even if they are malignant, they caught it in the beginning and he will not need chemo or radiation (which I feel is bs). I am really annoyed that my parents are going for this without getting a second opinion. Most people with stage 3 pancreatic cancer die-it's a fact. He was given 90 days originally and Columbia-Pres saved him. But regardless, if they operate it can only help! Thank you everyone for your prayers! THey seem to be helping...

And Jules started with the Poppy Dr thing again while I was in the car. But I told her I think he is going to be not that she really understands everything but atleast I was being honest!
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My father has cancer and has been in remission since 2004. They just found a 1/2 mass on his lung. In three months, it has grown from an 1/8 to 1/2 inch. So we are bracing ourselves for the worst and we are just happy that he still goes every three months for ct scans as a precaution. We are hoping if it is cancer, they can take care of it now before it goes any further. We have been down this path before and we honestly, I can't imagine having to go through this again.

My parents watch Juliette during the day and when I got home last night, all she kept talking about was Poppy and Poppy's doctor appoint-a-men. She was telling me he was sick and they had to check his ears and heart and "boobies". I put to and two together and realized she was talking about his chest-bc I refer to my own set as my chest.
I reassured her that doctors were good and they made people feel better so that they wouldn't be sick. Over and over and over she kept bringing it up.

I realized that my parents are on the phone all day with doctors and friends, yesterday they spent half the day on the phone with a cruiseline trying to take out insurance on their 2008 Alaska Cruise "just incase". I heard him explaining the situation to the guy on the phone. My parents often bring Juliette to the doctors appts with them. It's bad enough that she is petrified of her own dr, but when i have to bring her to my OB appts, she cries when they touch me.

So at 5.30 this morning, I hear this piercing scream coming from Juliette, she is hysterical. This child rarely cries, never wakes up before 7.00-7.30, never wakes up crying-she is a morning person-and hardly ever wakes up during the night. When I open the door, I see she is hysterical, soaking wet from tears and sobbing. I ask her what was wrong, and she tells me, "Mommy-Poppy is sick and has to go to a dr's appoint-a-men." So I take her in to my bed, take about 10 minutes to stop the sobbing and crying (while DH snores through it all next to us) and finally she calms down. At the end, she finally asks, "Mommy-the dr will make Poppy all better?" Now I am crying. I told her he will try bc that's what doctors do, they try to make sick people feel better.

If anything happens-how do you explain to a 28 month old about death? How do you explan that he is not ever coming back. She is completely attached to this man, she wakes up almost every day asking is she is going to Poppy and Grandma's house. I am just so scared and we will not know anything until their appt on the 24th, and then they may need to biopsy or fdo a petscan, and we will need to wait another week. And now that Juliette is asking questions, it just makes it harder. For the first time, it has hit me taht she is NOT a baby anymore, she is a little girl. We try not to talk abouyt anything in front of her, ever, no yelling, not cursing-just a ton of spelling-and whatever has to be said is said when she is out of hearing range. I just pray my father will be ok, but I can't lie to Juliette if he isn't going to be.

Message edited 7/24/2007 7:31:43 PM.

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Prayers for all of you

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First off many hugs for you!

Secondally, try to think positive. I am the way you are when I get asked those questions I end up being the sob mess myself. You just tell her what you did tell her. The doctor is going to make Poppy better. And if (God forbid) he is really sick. Then you just explain to her that he is sick but, the doctor is going to do his best to get Poppy better. It's a hard thing to go thru & she really won't understand. But, if you just listen to her fears & try to explain them as best you can. It should be easier on her.

Praying for your Dad & your family!


also I would ask your parents to limit the calls in front of Juliette.

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Poppy is in our prayers!

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I hope your dad will be OK!

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I have tears in my eyes while reading your post. While Jared isn't at that age where he's understanding everything yet, I can relate with the attachment to his grandpa or "kappa" as he calls him. You have to think positive about your dad. My dad had stage 4 cancer and beat it. He never thought he'd be around to see Jared grow up like this.
As for telling Juliette, I would limit the calls in front of her and keep doing what you're doing with the spelling of things. You don't want her to be worried. Is it also possible that she doesn't go to the doctors with them all the time?

You're right...she isn't a baby anymore...it's funny how quickly they grow up and start to understand. I'm still bawling here about her asking you if they're going to make him better.

Your family is in my prayers...

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MANY 's!!

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Oh Laurire, I'm sorry Your family is in my prayers

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Thanks every-and I am tearing up again reading Stephanie's post. I already called my mother and she swears she will do the calls in private. Juliette hasn't brought it up since early this morning, but I am sure she will again tonight.

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OMg..Juliette is so sweet, she makes my heart ache reading this!
Many hugs to you, I hope to hear some good news!!!!

Message edited 7/19/2007 10:35:44 AM.

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I have tears in my eyes reading this!!! Steven is so attached to my dad(my parents live downstairs!!!) and although my dad is in relatively good health he is 78 years old so I worry about this all the time!!!

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!

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I'll be sure to keep you in my prayers