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mikeswife06
Drama Momma
Member since 9/06 9947 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Spinoff to non speaking to relatives
If you do not speak to someone in immediate family but others still do, how do you handle it? How did you learn to let go?
My family has dealth with my brother for years with his drugs, alcohol, verbal/emotional abuse, using my mother, being 35 with no job living in her house. She bought a house with him 7 years ago that he was supposed to fix up for them and so she would have no mortgage. 6 months later he decided he didn't want to live there and made her take out a mortgage to give him his money back!!!!!! He left and then moved BACK there a year later with no job and no money. Then a couple of years later he got engaged and moved in with his FI so she bought a house with me and my husband so she doesn't have to be alone with a house to take care of and he threw a fit and at 41 admitted to her that "She chose us over him and took away his safety net" WHAT??????? Now she is trying to make peace with him and expects me to. NO way! I had a m/c at 12 weeks in November and he never called me, nothing. At the time, I didn't even realize I had been cut out because there were no fights or arguments or confrontations. UGH sorry for rambling, I just don't know how to deal. Any word of advice?
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Posted 6/26/07 9:45 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
04bride
I'm a big sister!!!
Member since 5/05 6707 total posts
Name:
Noel
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Re: Spinoff to non speaking to relatives
no advice sorry but lots of these......
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| Posted 6/26/07 9:47 AM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to non speaking to relatives
My borther talks to my father, I dont care. He was very young when my parents got divorced and doesnt remember the hell it was before. He also since birth has had a better relationship with him, Hey as long as he isnt a jerk to my brother I dont care. Only to find out last night that he isnt going to come up to NY from FL for his sons reception, because he "coulnt get out of work" even when he got the invitation 3 months ago, Like I said before he is a piece of crap. So no loss on our side.
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| Posted 6/26/07 9:49 AM |
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mikeswife06
Drama Momma
Member since 9/06 9947 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: Spinoff to non speaking to relatives
Posted by JennZ
My borther talks to my father, I dont care. He was very young when my parents got divorced and doesnt remember the hell it was before. He also since birth has had a better relationship with him, Hey as long as he isnt a jerk to my brother I dont care. Only to find out last night that he isnt going to come up to NY from FL for his sons reception, because he "coulnt get out of work" even when he got the invitation 3 months ago, Like I said before he is a piece of crap. So no loss on our side.
Have you always not cared or did it bother you at some point. This has all taken place within the last year and I can't seem to stomach my mother wanting him in her life but she says "It's my son, you don't understand" I hate that she feels torn and she said it hurts her, but what about her other 2 children that he has hurt?
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| Posted 6/26/07 9:52 AM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to non speaking to relatives
I think I have NOT cared since I was old enough to know what an azz he was. I have never had the daddy's little girl relationship with him, before my wedding I had not spoke to him in 7 years, and the last conversation went something like this me " F U and die, go back to FL" him  . I tried to be the bigger person when Iwas getting married telling him I was going to be 30 this year and put the past behind me and move on. I even invited him to my wedding, although he was never introduced as my father nor did he walk me down the aisle. It was strickly for mr to say "hah I had a KILLER wedding and you had nothing to do with it" I did not dance with him, he was just a guest. All for him to tell me at MY wedding that he was mad i didnt ask him to walk me down the aisle... I kid you not the balls this man has. I have NOT spoke to him since then, I had him photoshopped out of my proofs.
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| Posted 6/26/07 9:58 AM |
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NewlyMrs
Laugh-Live-Love LIFE!
Member since 10/06 14432 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Spinoff to non speaking to relatives
I wish you lots of 
For many reasons I do not speak to my father, but my sister does. I dont care is she does or does not, as long as she does not involve me in it.
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| Posted 6/26/07 10:07 AM |
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BlueDiamonds
mommy to 3 boys
Member since 2/07 3885 total posts
Name:
proud mommy
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Re: Spinoff to non speaking to relatives
Posted by mikeswife06
Have you always not cared or did it bother you at some point. This has all taken place within the last year and I can't seem to stomach my mother wanting him in her life but she says "It's my son, you don't understand" I hate that she feels torn and she said it hurts her, but what about her other 2 children that he has hurt?
I am in a similar situation where my brother does not speak to me, my mother and my sisters. But he does speak to my father, although it's less and less now. It's been about 3 years since my brother stopped talking to me and about 8 since he cut off my mother. He never once told us what he was feeling, just never returned calls and then switched his phone #.
It hurt me alot for the first year. I can only say that now I am over it. He has 2 children that I have never met and that hurts more than anything. My mother says the same thing, that I don't understand because he is my brother and to her, that is her son. I don't think she will ever get over it.
I'm sorry you are going through this too. I keep telling myself that he is not in my life for a reason, probably because it would be more heartache than it is now w/o him. It does get easier.
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| Posted 6/26/07 11:16 AM |
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mikeswife06
Drama Momma
Member since 9/06 9947 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: Spinoff to non speaking to relatives
Posted by BlueDiamonds
It hurt me alot for the first year. I can only say that now I am over it. He has 2 children that I have never met and that hurts more than anything. My mother says the same thing, that I don't understand because he is my brother and to her, that is her son. I don't think she will ever get over it.
I'm sorry you are going through this too. I keep telling myself that he is not in my life for a reason, probably because it would be more heartache than it is now w/o him. It does get easier.
Thank you so much! I am glad to hear that it got easier for you. Hopefully after his wedding in September is passed, I will start getting over it. 
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| Posted 6/27/07 7:46 AM |
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