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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Settle an argument...
over the weekend we got an invite to DH's cousin's daughters 2nd b-day party. it's in Ohio, obviously we can't go. we got an invite to her 1st b-day party last year as well.
I don't think that its "tacky", but I think it's a little silly. it's like saying "we know you can't come, but please send a gift". 
DH thinks it is totally appropriate. I have never received invites from my OOS cousins when their kids had parties.
thoughts?
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Posted 6/4/07 12:14 PM  |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Settle an argument...
I agree, its looking for a gift.
Do you hear from them otherwise? Phone calls, emails, what have you?
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| Posted 6/4/07 12:15 PM |
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Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
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Re: Settle an argument...
My aunt and uncle ALWAYS sent us invites to her kids parties, graduations, etc. and they live in Florida. I always thought it was weird, but I did it to them this year for my son's birthday party....
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| Posted 6/4/07 12:17 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Settle an argument...
Posted by BNL2005
I agree, its looking for a gift.
Do you hear from them otherwise? Phone calls, emails, what have you?
he is fairly close with his cousin. we love them, don't get me wrong. but IMO, it's over the top. if it were a Christening, Communion, etc, fine. but a b-day party?
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| Posted 6/4/07 12:17 PM |
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JodiBabe
Married for 9 yrs!!!!!!
Member since 5/05 6672 total posts
Name:
Jodi
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Re: Settle an argument...
Posted by BNL2005
I agree, its looking for a gift.
Do you hear from them otherwise? Phone calls, emails, what have you?
I agree....If you spoke all the time that would be a different story!
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| Posted 6/4/07 12:19 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: Settle an argument...
I don't know. I sent an evite to my friends out of state (even my inlaws in Israel) for my DD's first birthday party.
I didn't expect anything, I just wanted them to feel included. You never know when someone will be in town on that weekend.
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| Posted 6/4/07 12:20 PM |
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LIMOMx2
...
Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
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Re: Settle an argument...
I sent them to OOS family just so they could see the invites I made. I was soo proud of them.
I wasn't looking for a gift at all.
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| Posted 6/4/07 12:22 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Settle an argument...
Christening, Bris, First birthday, Confirmation/Bat Mitzvah, Sweet 16, Graduation, Wedding =ok
Random birthdays in between = looking for a gift
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| Posted 6/4/07 12:24 PM |
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Maathy317
Grammie's Little Man
Member since 2/06 3235 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Settle an argument...
My daughter is pregnant with her second child (a girl) and I am giving her a "Pretty In Pink" party at the end of the month. I sent invitations to out-of-town relatives. I know they would not be able to come, but, I wanted them to feel included and not think that, just because they didn't live close by, they were forgotten.
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| Posted 6/4/07 12:25 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Settle an argument...
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Posted by BNL2005
I agree, its looking for a gift.
Do you hear from them otherwise? Phone calls, emails, what have you?
he is fairly close with his cousin. we love them, don't get me wrong. but IMO, it's over the top. if it were a Christening, Communion, etc, fine. but a b-day party?
I agree. That's looking for a gift, imo.
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| Posted 6/4/07 12:25 PM |
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LIMOMx2
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Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
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Re: Settle an argument...
Posted by Maathy317
My daughter is pregnant with her second child (a girl) and I am giving her a "Pretty In Pink" party at the end of the month. I sent invitations to out-of-town relatives. I know they would not be able to come, but, I wanted them to feel included and not think that, just because they didn't live close by, they were forgotten.
That is how I feel too.
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| Posted 6/4/07 12:26 PM |
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Anniegrl
I'm two!
Member since 5/05 4320 total posts
Name:
Ann
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Re: Settle an argument...
My aunt actually got mad at me when I didn't send her an invite to Jackson's christening. We live in Colorado, so I kept it to immediate family only since I knew nobody would fly out other than my parents and siblings.
I told my aunt this, and that I felt if I had sent them an invite it would've been the same thing as saying, "I know you can't come, but please send a gift".
So, same thing as what you said. It's not like I'm super-close with this aunt either. She's just a drama queen 
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| Posted 6/4/07 12:32 PM |
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alisonggg
Cutie
Member since 3/06 4749 total posts
Name:
a
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Re: Settle an argument...
Posted by Shelly
I didn't expect anything, I just wanted them to feel included. You never know when someone will be in town on that weekend.
I don't have any children but I agree with this
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| Posted 6/4/07 12:33 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Settle an argument...
Do you visit them or are you planning a trip to visit them? I can see working a visit around the birthday party so you can be there. But I think it's weird to send an actual invite to a 3rd birthday party when there's little or no chance of you going.
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| Posted 6/4/07 12:34 PM |
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Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!
Member since 5/05 22334 total posts
Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids
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Re: Settle an argument...
my cousins that live in Tennessee have 4 kids and even though we are really close we never get invites to their b-day parties!! The parents know that we will not be going down for it.
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| Posted 6/4/07 1:09 PM |
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MrsMerlot
Unconditional Love
Member since 4/06 6005 total posts
Name:
Chrissy
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Re: Settle an argument...
I see it in the opposite light...I would think they're doing their best to keep their families (no matter how distant - physically or emotionally.)
IF anyone in my family got skipped on receiving an invite - hell would raise.
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| Posted 6/4/07 1:17 PM |
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DanaRenee
Fitness Junkie!
Member since 6/06 6470 total posts
Name:
Dana
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Re: Settle an argument...
I would think they are inviting you as a courtesy...not fishing for gifts
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| Posted 6/4/07 1:45 PM |
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spooks
So in love!
Member since 6/06 4378 total posts
Name:
Sarah
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Re: Settle an argument...
Totaly looing for a gift IMO.
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| Posted 6/4/07 1:46 PM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Settle an argument...
Posted by Shelly
I don't know. I sent an evite to my friends out of state (even my inlaws in Israel) for my DD's first birthday party.
I didn't expect anything, I just wanted them to feel included. You never know when someone will be in town on that weekend.
Same here. I don't do it for a gift, just wanting them to feel included. As a matter of fact, one of my aunts came to my DD's first b-day from Florida because she was in NY that weekend.
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| Posted 6/4/07 1:49 PM |
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Kate
*****
Member since 5/05 7557 total posts
Name:
Kate
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Re: Settle an argument...
I used to think it was tacky - just looking for a gift - until one of my aunts, who lives in Florida, was offended that she was not invited to my SIL's baby shower. (Which was a small affair for a 2nd baby, btw) Now I say include everyone. They can send a gift if they want to.
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| Posted 6/4/07 1:50 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Settle an argument...
I think it was a courtesy. That family tends to do things in a big way.
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| Posted 6/4/07 1:55 PM |
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mka06
LIF Adult
Member since 8/06 1079 total posts
Name:
Melis
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Re: Settle an argument...
Posted by Kate
I used to think it was tacky - just looking for a gift - until one of my aunts, who lives in Florida, was offended that she was not invited to my SIL's baby shower. (Which was a small affair for a 2nd baby, btw) Now I say include everyone. They can send a gift if they want to.
I agree. I don't think it's necessarly fishing for a gift. I think it's being inclusive of family despite the geographical distance. Plus, you never know what people are/aren't willing to make trips for. A close family friend had her bridal shower out of state and didn't put us on the list bc she felt it was an imposition to ask us to travel. We were more than happy to - and were hurt not to be included. Plus, even if we weren't able to travel it was definitely someone we would send a gift to!
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| Posted 6/4/07 1:59 PM |
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CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)
Member since 5/05 19978 total posts
Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...
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Re: Settle an argument...
I don't know what their motives are for inviting you, but if it were me it would depend on how close I was to the family...maybe I would send a cute card with stickers or something like that....like a mini-gift. I do that for my niece when we aren't able to make it to her parties (she just turned 5). I get her like a Barbie or Dora card with stickers, puzzles etc.
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| Posted 6/4/07 2:04 PM |
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evenedan
Need a little sunshine
Member since 9/05 3843 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Settle an argument...
Who knows their reasons, maybe they just want you to be in the loop and feel included, maybe they just want a gift...
I personally would not be comfortable sending a birthday invite to someone OOS, for fear of it looking like I'm greedy for a gift. Weddings and other "once in a lifetime" type of events are a different story.
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| Posted 6/4/07 2:09 PM |
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july06bride
I'm a mom!
Member since 5/05 3966 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Settle an argument...
That happened to me once, my cousin who I am very close to, but who is OOS did not send me an invite to her daughter's bday party-the daughter was my flowergirl... I felt so bad, she emailed me and said she knew I couldnt come that's why she didn't send it, she didn't want it to seem like she was asking for a gift... I felt bad about it and told her to invite me no matter what! 
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| Posted 6/4/07 2:52 PM |
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