house or no?

i was just wondering did you ladies wait till you owned your own home to start a family? we are not married yet our wedding is in a few months but we want to start working on a family right after the wedding...now FH is saying maybe we should wait to we have a house? what do you ladies think? we are thinking of getting a condo or renting to save more for a house but i feel that if we really want one whats the difference if we have a house right away? it would be nice but financially isnt possible

Re: house or no?

We had a house before and I will say that it is much easier to save before the baby comes. When the baby comes there is a possiblity that you may not be working and baby costs can really add up. That being said, many people live in rentals with kids. It can come down to personal aspects, age, career path, etc

Re: house or no?

that is what i am worried about.....he doesnt want me to work when we have kids so its going to be hard to save for a house. but in a way i am thinking to will we ever really be ready? like ok we save for a house we get one but than there are 1000 other things to take care of you know what i mean??

Re: house or no?

We are going to wait until we at least have a good sum of money in the bank to buy a house. I plan on buying a house while I am pregnant. Of course, if there is a slip up and I become pregnant, that is okay too. I think you just deal with it, and make it happen, house or no house.

Re: house or no?

If you are adamant about being a SAHM, you might want to put off the baby until you have enough money saved for a down payment. If you live in NY especially, it is VERY difficult to save enough money for a decent down payment on 1 income only.

This isn't like, "Oh, are we financially secure enough/mature enough/have enough time for a baby" worries. There's a true goal- to own something that will be an investment.

Re: house or no?

we live in the apartment of my parents house. We are very lucky, cause the rent is low and we are able to save a lot. We love living here and are due in Nov. I couldn't imagine finding a house, and moving within 5 months now. Plus, I wouldn't be able to stay home as long as I am planning to stay home. Whatever works for you We also thought getting pg would be difficult as I have PCOS and never ovulated so this is like our little miracle baby. We are in the process of thinking about rearranging furniture in our bedroom for the crib. I'm just so excited to be preggos and have a baby, I don't care about having a house yet.

Re: house or no?

We are in the process of buying a house

Re: house or no?

we bought our home about a year before we got married, it made everything very convenient.

Re: house or no?

We are TTC and we are renters. There are many circumstances that place people in a position where they simply cannot afford to buy at the ideal time. But DH and I cannot and will not put off TTC until we own a home. I will be 37 in two months and time is not on my side. We have a large 3 bedroom apartment with low rent that has enough room for us to have a child (possibly two) very comfortably. We are also able to put a decent amount of money away each month. It woud be foolish for us to leave here.

Re: house or no?

we moved in when I was 10 weeks PG with DD

Re: house or no?

there are a few reasons we are (and would) put off TTC.. but owning a home isn't one of them.

Re: house or no?

we are trying to save up some money to buy a house but we want to move out of nyc, I just cannot see myself raising our son here... when my parents had me they lived in one room with no kitchen, no bathroom, no running water and they made it so I think we are in a much better place than they were... and I never ever would complain that I didnt have what I needed as a child... if you really want a child I wouldnt make a house a priority...

Re: house or no?

We owned a condo before TTC and we really wanted to buy a house in our community (which has condos & homes) but when I found out I was pg there was no way we could afford it since I will be a sahm...but, our condo can easily accomodate 2 young children....so I think it all depends on how much money you make and how much you will be able to save, and what your priorities are.

Re: house or no?

I plan on working after I have the baby only because my job (outside sales) is so flexible that it would be stupid for me not to.

That being said, we still live in a 3 bedroom apartment, for logistical reasons. Mainly our commute. We have the money for a house, but me being pregnant, I wouldn't be able to get another job out in LI right now (we live and work in Brooklyn).

I plan on transferring with my company out to LI next spring. Then we will buy a house.

So, no...we don't have a house yet. But I have the down payment, just waiting on the timing.

Re: house or no?

I've seen people make it work in a variety of living situations. For my own situation, I am glad that I am not house hunting or moving while pregnant. I have not been feeling well and moving would have been stressful for me.

Re: house or no?

We were hoping to be in our house by the time the baby was born at least but that won't happen. It doesn't really matter much in the long run I guess.

Re: house or no?

We moved into temporary housing when I was 5 months pregnant (job transfer) and should move into our house by the end of this month (I will be 7.5 months along). Moving, house hunting and being pregnant at the same time is very stressful(not to mention all the other stuff in life), but it's what we wanted. You don't need to own a house before you have a baby, as long as you and DH agree as to what your priorities are. For us, we didn't know how we would save after the baby and thought we should make the move now.

Message edited 6/4/2007 5:08:16 PM.

Re: house or no?

we moved into a house, but dh did a budget breakout and forcasted for the next 10 years, adding daycare in at estimated time. As long as you feel confortable enough losing 1 salary, or spending 14k+ on daycare then which ever on you can afford choose. If the house will be too tight a squeeze i wouldnt recommend it because you'll just stress out over it, stick with an apartment then.

as much as my dh budgeted you never know if the baby is conceived accidentally on the honeymoon, or with us, we didnt start trying as fast as we thought we would so we've been banking a little more money now. a house is nice but remember- maintinence expenses when something breaks ontop of oil/electric/water/taxes for a whole house is a bit different from what is spent on rent, so sometimes its not worth it to rush.

Re: house or no?

we had a 2 bedroom apt in florida when we got PG.

when we moved back home about 2 mths before my due date.

we decided to purchase since the price we would pay for a decent size apt/house rental that allowed 2 dogs would be insane.


lots of girls on here didn't have a house prior to having a baby. Anything is possible.

Re: house or no?

I think it's difficult to know exactly what to do. SOmetimes things just fall into place and other times you just go with the flow. We live in a 2br apt and really weren't sure what we were doing. We knew we had enough room where we were.

I was very ill, and infertile, then after chemo the doctors gave us a green light to try for a child. We knew the window might not be open for a while, so we decided to TTC. Then the next month DH got a big promotion, which meant we were staying on Long Island. Then a few months later I was pregnant. Then in April we decided to start looking at co-ops, condos and homes, to see if we could afford it. We are under contract for our own place now!!!

What I'm saying is: a year ago I was a newlywed in the hospital, we didn't know if we were staying on Long Island, and really weren't looking for a place of our own. Things change!

Re: house or no?

we own a 2 bedroom condo and its going to be fine when our son is born, we also decided that we didnt want to have kids until we owned something (we bought our plce 6 months before our wedding) b/c sometimes if you are renting and then get pregnant it is hard to save for a condo or house just b/c it can be costly having a baby. We figure in a couple years when we try for our second we will sell our condo and have a downpayment to buy a house then. But u have to do whats good for you, if you have to rent and u want a baby it shouldnt be a reason to stop you

Re: house or no?

Yes we wanted to wait until we were in our own home before TTC.

Re: house or no?

Personally, I would never put having a baby on hold until I had house. I think everyone is different though and everyone's lifestyle is different so it depends what works for you. For me, we rent and live in nyc not because we can't afford a home right now but because living in the city is the most convenient best place for us now. We didn't want to buy something now because we don't plan on being in the city much longer but for me, DH not having to commute and being able to see the baby 100 percent more was more important than owning a home. Besides, I don't think the baby will notice not being in a house until he is AT LEAST one year old.

So to answer your question - it depends on your lifestyle and what is important to you! GOod luck

Re: house or no?

A house would be perfect - when we got pregnant we were living in a small one bedroom but we didn't think we would be able to move before the baby. Ideally we would love to have waited but we have been putting it off for 3 years now and we just didn't want to wait anymore esp since we want more than one and I am 31 turning 32 in Sept.

We lucked out - an opportunity presented itself where we were able to get a house we loved so we jumped on it. We just moved in on Sat and the doctor is telling me she could come at anytime now.

The best situation is to have a home - but that is not feasible for everyone - you have to evaluate your personal situation and determine what is best for your family. I know many people who start in an apt but they moved to a home within a year of having their first child.

Re: house or no?

DH & I are living in the bedroom he grew up in with my inlaws. We are not putting off TTC.