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kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
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Re: theres nothing i can do, right?
nobody is attacking you here, you posted looking for help and we are trying to do that but you don't seem to want to change your relationship with him. I give up myself. If you don't see talking to him (whether its only for 3 hours once a week) as fuel to the fire, then good luck.
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Posted 5/24/07 11:01 AM  |
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Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: theres nothing i can do, right?
Posted by Blu-ize
Maybe he likes you?
i dont think he likes ME.
he once said Sam was hot tand he flirted with her a bit one night, also she wasnt taking teh bait. and wont.
and *I* think he flirts with this otehr girl who is going through a divorce herself.
she is a mommy (of a 4 yr old ) and all of a sudden he wants children and his wife says no.
thats the MAIN reason for their problems, the baby issue.
but if he likes someone maybe she is picking up on that. i know personally its not me. but reguardless, she may not know that.
like i said, they were fighint last night and that could very well be the reason of her being a tad standoffish. she in no means was "mean" or "nasty" to me, just not her usual self.
but i can TRY to talk to him less and not get myself into any comprimising situations with him.......... its just trying to stay away is more easily said than done.
Message edited 5/24/2007 11:06:16 AM.
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| Posted 5/24/07 11:02 AM |
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Shorty
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Member since 5/05 30390 total posts
Name:
really
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Re: theres nothing i can do, right?
I don't know, Jes - Its a rough situation.
As much as he needs a friend to help him through divorce issues, I just don't think you'd be the right friend for that because the wife clearly sees you as a threat - even if it wasn't provoked.
I would honestly back off for a little while.
etd to fix sp
Message edited 5/24/2007 11:05:32 AM.
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| Posted 5/24/07 11:05 AM |
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chikita315
Love
Member since 8/06 7945 total posts
Name:
M-lo
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Re: theres nothing i can do, right?
I don't think she has to change anything.
Why should she abandon a friend now?
She didn't do anything wrong.
I don't think she wants to be friends with the wife either.
AND it's Jess' place of employment. IF anyone should stop doing anything, it's Frank.
Jess - If you don't want confrontation/discomfort with the wife, then maybe you should talk to Frank. If he wants to work it out with his wife, then he needs to spend more time at home not hanging with young girls at a bar.
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| Posted 5/24/07 11:05 AM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: theres nothing i can do, right?
Posted by ThusSpokeLaLolita
Posted by Blu-ize
Maybe he likes you?
i highly doubt it.
he once said Sam was hot and *I* think he flirts with this otehr girl who is going through a divorce herself.
she is a mommy (of a 4 yr old ) and all of a sudden he wants children and his wife says no.
thats the MAIN reason for their problems, the baby issue.
but if he likes someone maybe she is picking up on that. i know personally its not me. but reguardless, she may not know that.
like i said, they were fighint last night and that could very well be the reason of her being a tad standoffish. she in no means was "mean" or "nasty" to me, just not her usual self.
but i can TRY to talk to him less and not get myself into any comprimising situations with him.......... its just trying to stay away is more easily said than done.
that's a good strategy. Fly below the radar. Jess, you may not be the "problem" but whatever the problem is, you need to steer clear. Protect yourself.
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| Posted 5/24/07 11:05 AM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: theres nothing i can do, right?
I didn't read all of the responses, so maybe someone else said this.
I'm sure a lot of it has to do with her insecurities now that her marriage is ending. She sees him hanging with you and your friends, having a good time. You are young and good looking and she might be feeling down on herself (depending on what the real reason behind their issues are). You are right, there isn't much you can do since you don't really see him outside the bar and you work there and he's a patron. I'm sure the owner doesn't want you being rude to a regular patron.
Sorry you are going through this, it must be very awkward for everyone when they are together at the bar. 
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| Posted 5/24/07 11:06 AM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: theres nothing i can do, right?
Posted by ThusSpokeLaLolita
Posted by Blu-ize
Maybe he likes you?
i dont think he likes ME.
he once said Sam was hot and *I* think he flirts with this otehr girl who is going through a divorce herself.
she is a mommy (of a 4 yr old ) and all of a sudden he wants children and his wife says no.
thats the MAIN reason for their problems, the baby issue.
but if he likes someone maybe she is picking up on that. i know personally its not me. but reguardless, she may not know that.
like i said, they were fighint last night and that could very well be the reason of her being a tad standoffish. she in no means was "mean" or "nasty" to me, just not her usual self.
but i can TRY to talk to him less and not get myself into any comprimising situations with him.......... its just trying to stay away is more easily said than done.
BINGO! He's flirting w/other woman.
I'm sure his wife is picking up on this somewhat. And YOU happened to be the female sleeping on their couch.
Honestly, I would stay away from the situation the best I could.
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| Posted 5/24/07 11:07 AM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: theres nothing i can do, right?
Posted by ThusSpokeLaLolita
Posted by Kara
Posted by ThusSpokeLaLolita
i just dont want her to think that i like him. end of story.
Then keep it to hi and bye and otherwise back off. That's part of the solution. You're unwilling to do that - so the discomfort will continue.
beacuse you and kerry are attacking. not trying to actually help. you're just pointing fingers at me and telling em everything i am doing is wrong.
I'm sorry if you took it that way, but I wasn't trying to attack you. I was trying to show you that things from her side might not appear as clear as they do from yours - because she doesn't have the benefit of knowing how you feel or your intentions - or what goes on when she's not around.
There are 2 sides to every story. Recognizing where the other person is coming from can help formulate a solution.
No, YOU are NOT the problem... but staying out of the situation is still your best option.
Message edited 5/24/2007 11:09:13 AM.
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| Posted 5/24/07 11:08 AM |
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Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: theres nothing i can do, right?
Posted by chikita315
I don't think she has to change anything.
Why should she abandon a friend now?
She didn't do anything wrong.
I don't think she wants to be friends with the wife either.
AND it's Jess' place of employment. IF anyone should stop doing anything, it's Frank.
Jess - If you don't want confrontation/discomfort with the wife, then maybe you should talk to Frank. If he wants to work it out with his wife, then he needs to spend more time at home not hanging with young girls at a bar.
thank you. i am glad at least one person can see where ia m coming from.
she DID tell him he needed to drink less and not be at the bar as much, but thats not my fault. he said he will limit himself to wednesdays because his friends are there one Wed. (me being ONE of his friends).... although he still goes into the bar alot more than that (but never when im there, he goes during the day & i work at night)
i thin ki am going to talk to him. i'll make it light. i just want to have him tell me if his wife feels threatens about our friendship. i know he will be hoenst. if he says Yes then i will tell him i should abck off out of respect to her. if he says No, then i dont know.
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| Posted 5/24/07 11:09 AM |
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Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: theres nothing i can do, right?
well, thank you for your opinions.
i have alot to think about.
i work tonight with Sam and she was there when his wife came in, i am going to ask her her POV on the whole thing.
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| Posted 5/24/07 11:12 AM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: theres nothing i can do, right?
Jess- if you *really* think she was just having a bad night because they got into a fight and she just wasn't being friendly- I wouldn't even broach the subject with him. Like I said in my earlier post- I would gage my actions based on how she acts.
If you only see him 2 hours a week- then I would just be friendly to him- but not too much- you know what I mean? Hi- what can I get you- type of thing.
It doesn't sound like you are such good friends with him- so why put yourself in the middle of some marriage drama? Obviously this is something that you are thinking about to post about it here. I woudl just stay out of their problems (and thier lives) as much as possible. Maybe in her mind, you are a part of the drama- but if you think that you are causing problems- I would back off.
If you honestly think she was just having a bad night, then I would still back off a little but I wouldn't talk to him about it until you are sure about what is going on. By asking him about it, you are just getting yourself deeper into their drama.
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| Posted 5/24/07 11:16 AM |
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tray831
Dee-licious!
Member since 3/06 5355 total posts
Name:
His Baby
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Re: theres nothing i can do, right?
What does your DH think you should/or could do???
Since all of you are friends, what was his opinion on it?
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| Posted 5/24/07 11:24 AM |
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CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)
Member since 5/05 19978 total posts
Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...
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Re: theres nothing i can do, right?
I think you are too involved at this point....I agree with some of the other girls, to many of us, the whole crashing at the guys place would just never happen....when you saw the wife and she said you crashing at their place was ok, I think she was being polite, honestly...
It's between the 2 of them. Let them work it out. Keep working at the bar but if it were me, I'd back off hanging out with the husband so much. JMO.
Message edited 5/24/2007 11:27:48 AM.
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| Posted 5/24/07 11:27 AM |
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Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: theres nothing i can do, right?
mini update..... sorta:
me and dh were at the bar yesterday and frank came in and sat next to me/us.
we were all hanging out and his wifes name came up and dh said something like "jes, she probably hates you since you slept on their couch"
to which i said "i know, and its all your fault! you left me there idiot"
and then we were all laughing and frank was like "no, she thinks its a great story, she thinks its funny she doesnt care at all. youre my pal, you got drunk and crashed on my couch. no big deal"
so it makes me think she doesnt care that much. or if she has she hasnt told him.
so i think its ok. i think i just cuaght her on a bad night to be honest.
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| Posted 5/26/07 2:20 PM |
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Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: theres nothing i can do, right? *update*
update in OP.
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| Posted 5/31/07 5:19 PM |
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