What would you do...name related

Message edited 3/28/2009 7:29:22 AM.

Re: What would you do...name related

I'd still use the name but I would probably talk to dh's cousin and see how she feels about it. I'd explain to her why you picked the name in the first place and how you were keeping it a surprise. I bet she'll be fine with it. I know I wouldn't mind if my cousin used the same name as me. Good luck!

Re: What would you do...name related

I would just tell them "We overheard you are using X for your baby and that's the name that Rich and I love and were planning to use but didn't want to tell anyone until he was born" -- I'm sure she knows you both well enough to know that you're not going to try and "steal" her sons name lol.

There are only so many names out there that people like - and I don't think it's a big deal at all. If I could count for you how many Joseph's and Frank's we have in our family it would take me days!

Re: What would you do...name related

If you were not told directly, and you've spent nearly 9 months doting over this name, just use it. They can't get mad or upset if a-you used it first and b-they didn't tell YOU directly.

I had names picked out that I wanted to use if I ever had a boy, then in a matter of months, 2 close friends had baby boys and used both the first and middle names (each used one of the names)! I scratched it off my list. 2 years later, I am fine with it and don't even like the names as much anymore as I had then when I wasn't pregnant.

Re: What would you do...name related

Re: What would you do...name related

I don't think cousins once removed with the same name is horrible. If it was DH's sister or brother, I would think differently perhaps, since it happened to me with DH's sister.

I would definitely still use the name!

Re: What would you do...name related

I agree with everyone else that you should use the name you love.

About talking to DH's cousin . . . be prepared that they may not take it so well. But that doesn't mean that you shouldn't use the name you love.

Also -- do you think your baby and DH's cousin's baby will be growing up together? In my family there is more than one Eileen (same age), more than one Nicholas (different ages), and about a dozen Dillon/Dylans (a family name). Its only weird if the kids are together all the time.

Re: What would you do...name related

Use the name!!

I would say something to DH's cousin as well, just so that they know ahead of time, that will make it easier on everyone.

Our DS is Christopher, DH's cousin's named her son Christopher when he was born in October. I know that it is a popular name, but it is also DH's name. It is frustrating, but whatever in the long run, right?

Re: What would you do...name related

I agree with all posters. Definitely keep the name, and if you feel comfortable, I'd tell the cousin ahead of time too (although, don't do it to be nice to her or make her feel better-- you shouldn't feel bad about it at all, you don't owe her an explaination or anything, if the roles were reversed and she overheard the name first from you, it would be the same, you know?).

But definitely use the name you love!!

Message edited 5/7/2007 9:49:06 AM.

Re: What would you do...name related

Message edited 3/28/2009 7:29:49 AM.

Re: What would you do...name related

I would use the name!

Re: What would you do...name related

If no one told you then how were you suppose to know that they are using the name . I would still use it.

Re: What would you do...name related

i would still use it at this point... since you had it picked out from the start.

who is delivering first? just curious...

my SIL "stole" my name for a girl (this was way before either of us got pregnant). i stupidly mentioned the name to DH in front of her and a few weeks later she stated to her DH in front of us, "i like ____!" as if she had never heard the name just weeks before! well, she took the credit for the name, and ended up naming her daughter that name.

i still feel "eh" about the whole thing, but love my new niece. DH and i have since come up with another name and needless to say, we are keeping it to ourselves!

i would talk to your cousin and just be honest about the situation. i would have preferred that my SIL said something to us, instead of pretending not to hear me mention the name and then taking credit for having "invented" it herself!

and the bottom line is, this "name" is not just a "name" once the babies are born--- they are people! maybe make sure the middle names aren't the same--- that would be too much!

Re: What would you do...name related

Posted by Ang-Rich

Thanks everyone...from the moment I found out my heart has been in my stomach. DH says not to stress over it but I feel bad on so many levels. I could understand if this was a "family" name like for a grandfather or something but it's so far from that - completely random.

We chose the american version and they chose the italian version....one letter off.

I purposely never ask anyone the name since I won't tell mine but yesterday I overheard the SIL mention the name to someone else and just froze. At the same time I refused to say anything at that time since it was her shower. I thought that would just be wrong. But now I am getting nervous to bring it up at all...worried that it will bother them and that they may say so. I think my biggest worry is that people will assume we copied or there will be the comments like "oh you used the same name they did." We have our reason for chosing the name - we decided when we booked our vacation that if we got pregnant we would use the name. I just hope that the honesty in that is clear to the family.

Ughhhh....I never saw this coming.

I just needed to talk this out...I don't want to say anything to family right now because I don't want to seem like I am trying to defend myself.

Re: What would you do...name related

Ang, does anyone know you even overheard the name? If they can't prove you know what name they have picked then they shouldn't worry about you copying or stealing from them. Even if they came right out and made an announcement, this is a name that you & Rich picked with love and affection for your child. You know his cousin better - do you think she would honestly be annoyed or would she be so excited that you both love the same name?

Re: What would you do...name related

Honestly, I wouldn't even say anything.

I would just name the baby what I wanted to name him.

I think you run the risk of your cousin saying "No way - it's MY name" and in that case will you still be comfortable using it?

If you don't ask, what she doesn't know won't hurt her and since no one officially told you, you can play dumb.

Maybe a little sneaky, but that's what I would do.

And who knows, she could always change her mind.

Re: What would you do...name related

Thanks everyone - the yucky feeling in my tummy is going away more and more.

Right now we are scheduled to deliver fist but like you all know it's really up to these little guys.

I have been thinking of the middle name...no one said anything and I don't want to ask but at the same time I can't assume that they would never use the one we choice...because look what already happened. That would be bad if they were the same.

Your opinions are really helping me to think clearly - I really appreciate them!

Re: What would you do...name related

Use the name. It has sentimental meaning for you and DH and that's all there is to it.

Funny this should come up now. DH & I while TTC of course discuss names. He wants to name a boy after himself. I hate the idea. I was discussing things with my sister and ran a name past her - which she loved - and then said the nickname could be "CJ". I know for a fact that if she and her DH have another child and it's a boy his nickname would be "CJ" but she just suggested I use it. Guess what - DH likes the name, and loves the nickname. Hopefully, if we're lucky enough to get PG, and then have a boy, she'll remember she suggested the nickname.

Re: What would you do...name related

My mom always wanted to name one of her daughters Shannon....my aunt then named her daughter Shonna, and my mom was so upset. But eventually they did name my last sister Shannon, and there was no problem at all.


Are the names close like that, or closer?

Re: What would you do...name related

Re: What would you do...name related

It's his cousin having the baby right? How often are you going to see each other? If it was a sibling, then maybe I would be skeptical, but if its a name you and your dh love, I say go for it!

Re: What would you do...name related

I would use the name and talk to them and let them know you had this picked out from the beginning..

Re: What would you do...name related

I know how you feel, because I'd feel the same way. The thing is you've had your heart set on this name for such a long time, you're most likely delivering first and you just overheard that the name would be close. I would just use that name, explain the story of how/when you chose it when he's born and play dumb about them using it too. You shouldn't have to change it, especially since it's cousins you won't see much anyway.

Re: What would you do...name related

I totally agree with Lauren.

I wouldn't think twice about it, and I wouldn't say anything. I would go about me and my baby and his name as if I never heard what they had chosen. That might sound harsh, but, nothing was going to change for you since the day you booked your vacation. When your son comes and you name him, you can tell everyone then.

Sounds like your cousin will either have to choose to keep the name or change it is she so chooses?????

It's very sweet that you so concerned about her feelings. Try not to stress about it, as you know, it's not good for the baby

I have a group of friends- 5 sisters. Each sister has at least 2 kids, one named Anthony. There are 5 Anthony's + one of the Father's named Anthony in that family!

Re: What would you do...name related