What would you do? Childcare related

sorry its sort of long but another childcare post:
so one of my SIL is going to watch my son 2 days a week when i go back to work. She is close by and doesnt want any $$ which will be so helpful. The problem is she is VERY catholic and involved in the church. We are raising our son jewish, he will have a bris, go to hebrew school/temple and have his abr mitzvah (i am jewish, my DH is catholic) well she has made it known for a while that she is not happy that DH didnt want the baby baptisted/raised catholic and now more recently has been trying to get him to go back to the catholic churhc (hes not very religous-just celebrates holidays). DH has no interest in going to church/becoming religous and has expressed that to her. my fear is that once she starts watching our child, she will be bringing him to church (she works there 3 days a week-the days she will not be watching our son) and getting him blessed, etc. well today i was talking to my other SIL, b/c this SIL watched her two kids when they were younger, and she confirmed that she brought both her sons to be blessed by the priest and would bring them to church when she babysat them. Now they are catholic though and raising their sons catholic so thats fine but do i have a right to sit down with my SIL before she begins watching him and let her know i am not OK with her getting my child blessed, etc and going to church without me or DH there. He's going to be around 5 months old when she begins babysitting and i am going to have her stop when he's around a year b/c i feel like if she does do any of those things behind my back atleast the baby is young enough where it wont really affect him, god forbid she was still watching him when he was over 1 and beginning to understand things, i would be so mad. Should i just not say anything since other then this issue, she is a wonderful person, thoughtful, caring and i know he will be in great hands otherwise. and just hope she doesnt disrespect DH and I?
Thanks!

Re: What would you do? Childcare related

That's a tough one and I'm not sure what I would do (not the answer you wanted I know)

By her watching him for two days and not charging you anything is huge and I wouldn't want to say anything that might offend her or put you two in an awkward relationship.

BUT

Then again, it is your child and you can choose to raise him however you choose.

Sorry - no help - I know!

Re: What would you do? Childcare related

Hmmmm this is a tough one...

But I can tell you this...

My eldest daughter is Presbyterian...The twins and my stepdaughters are Catholic...and "JR" will be raised Jewish...

In this type of family their tends to be "overlap" in beliefs, traditions, etc...Especially since his father is Catholic and is not converting..Just like in anything that you teach your child you just have to have faith that they will follow the path that you lead...

I have never cared what religion my children are raised..(obviously)..I just want them to have tolerance for ALL RELIGIONS and respect peoples beliefs...Whether Jew or Protestant, Baptist, or Catholic we all believe in the same GOD.

Re: What would you do? Childcare related

Tough situation. I don't know her or how strong she comes on, but if I truly think that these things might happen, I might not accept her offer to care for the child, as difficult as it is to turn down free child care from someone that I trust otherwise.

Re: What would you do? Childcare related

Honestly, if she will be doing things that you don't agree with, then I think she's not the right caregiver for your child. Good luck with your decision.

Re: What would you do? Childcare related

Can you have your DH mention to her that since the baby is being reaised Jewish, he really does not want the baby being "blessed" to sort of alleviate you of the burden?

Re: What would you do? Childcare related

MY husband and I are also an interfaith couple and have chosen to raise our child knowing both religions, for now. I understand how you must feel about your SIL possibly undermining you, I have often feared what my sil would be saying if she had alone time with my son (not just religious.)

I think you have every right to be concerned, but I really think you have nothing to worry about for now. Even if she gets him blessed twice a week he will not understand it for quite a while, and when he finally does understand he will be able to tell you what's is happening. THen you will know and you could speak to her, explaining that you don't want him to be confused and that you respect her beliefs and you wish she would respect yours because your son will be raised jewish. My son is three and still understands little about religion or what God is, religion is not even an issue yet. ( I do pray with him and talk about my beliefs but he really has minimal understanding, because it is very abstract.) I don't think she could do any permanent damage at such a young age. Your the mother and he will listen to you and believe what you teach. Someday you will have to explain that she has a different belief than you, anyway. Little children's memories are short before the age of 3 anyway, he probably will never remember. And if he asks about being blessed you could always say that his aunt did it because she thought it would help you, but we are jewish and that is not what we believe. ( Or you could be more decisive and say she is flat out wrong. ) I am catholic so maybe I am being too easygoing about it, but honestly I don't think I would mind if my son was frequenting the temple at such a young age. After 2 yrs old I might start to be bothered by it.

JUst my opinion. I'm sure you will figure out what is best for you and your child. BUt free babysitting is awesome and it is really hard to find pt babysitter for an infant.

Re: What would you do? Childcare related

As the mother of a two year old, I can tell you that for at least the first two years it doesn't matter from the perspective of your child. My daughter still says hello to trees. She'd have no clue of religious significance and just be happy to interact with friendly people.

The benefits of having your child with someone who loves him and who you otherwise trust are huge. I think I'd just ignore it and then put him into a jewish preschool as soon as he is old enough to be doing long term learning.

Re: What would you do? Childcare related

Re: What would you do? Childcare related

thanks ladies for your responses, I appreciate hearing other peopels opinions. Here is what i posted in response to the responses i got on the parenting board on the topic, although i do want to add that its really good to hear the responses of the women who have children already and how b/c hes so young it wont make a difference:

i am not against the baby going to church (e.g. we go every year for x-mas eve, i have done this even before DH b/c my step mom is catholic so i have always celebrated the catholic and jewish holidays) or being exposed to the catholic relgion or any other religion besides judiasm, i guess i just sort of feel it should be mine and my DH choice how much exposure and when. I guess b/c i know my SIL wouldnt tell me, she would just do it, is what bothers me the most. I do trust her and think she will be a great caregiver, I guess just b/c she is always preaching the catholic religion and jesus to everyone in my DH family, it makes me a little uncomfortable to not know what could be going on with my child when she watches him, i hope this makes sense