Vacation Opinions Please

You all might think I'm crazy, but... Here's the situation, please give me your honest opinions.

DH and I just got married in Jan. I'm due in July (although praying she comes in June). I went to work the Monday after our wedding, as I need to work as much as I can b/c I only freelance. Once the baby is born, I'm basically unemployed. (Which is another soar subject and hard for me to digest)
ANYWAY- I'd like to go on a vacation & eventually a HM around Nov./Dec.

Am I being unrealistic that I can leave the baby with my Aunt who has offered to fly up and watch the baby for a week? My DH thinks it's to soon and that everyone will think we're terrible parents. I, on the other hand, don't care what anyone thinks, but know that it'll be hard to leave her (I'd probably cry all the way to the airport), but also want to go away. She won't be crawling around, so she should be easy to watch.

Maybe I'm just not being realistic though?
Thoughts please.... TIA

Re: Vacation Opinions Please

No, you would not be a bad parent BUT

1/ "easy" to watch? No, not easy for your aunt at all. The baby may not be doing nights yet. My mom did it for my sister when my niece was 6.5 months. LOTS of work.

2/ Will you BF? You have to think of that.

Re: Vacation Opinions Please

I hear ya- I meant easy and in the baby won't be running around. I'm very lucky that my Aunt would offer to do this.

& IF I BF, I would only do it for 3 months, and want to alternate BF & formula.

Re: Vacation Opinions Please

I would not leave more than 1 week. I remember my mom telling me how much work it was. Feeding, playing, nap time, diaper, bath, etc... It was a full time job.

Re: Vacation Opinions Please

I would do it, you guys deserve a honeymoon and it may get tough to go as baby gets older and older as the $$$ need increases-the vacation just might get pushed to back burner indefinetely.

Go and have wonderful honeymoon and know that baby is in good hands.

Re: Vacation Opinions Please

Yes, that I realize too. We would go for one week only now.

DH is willing to do a long weekend- but in Nov./Dec. there's not a lot of options here in the US for "beach" vaca.

Re: Vacation Opinions Please

I think a week is too much. That just doesn't seem fair to the baby. What about bringing your aunt and baby on the trip with you?

Re: Vacation Opinions Please

Oh no.... a week really doesn't seem fair? I am torn. I can go for shorter, but I'd want to go for at least 5 days.

I watched my Aunt's baby when she adopted him and they won a trip to Tahiti. I was there for 10 days, my cousins was only 6 months old at the time.

I'm not looking to book it right now (well, I keep looking b/c it's fun to look and dream) but... I wouldn't do anything until the baby is born and we can see at 3 months what kind of baby she is. Sleeper? Colic?

Re: Vacation Opinions Please

Sorry to be a downer, and maybe its just my own feelings of being "trapped" that came out. I haven't been away from my DD overnight yet, and she's 25 months. Maybe you have the healthier attitude -- mommy matters too.

Re: Vacation Opinions Please

you have to do whats good for you and your DH, talk it over well with your each other and your aunt and then see how you feel. My SIL had post partum depression and had to leave their son with my MIL when he was 1 month old b/c she needed to get a way for a long weekend, when she came back she was refreshed and ready to tackle the post partum and being a good mom, i wasnt around back then, but i would never jugde her or anyone for taking a break or vacation if you feel its the right thing to do. Our son will be born in June, and we have a credit for an airline that has to be used by january or we lose around $400, so my mom already offered to watch our baby in oct or nov, if me and DH want to take a 3 or 4 days vacation, we have nothing planned yet b/c i honestly dont know how i will feel after giving birth, if i will even want to leave, so we are playing it by ear
good luck with your decision

Message edited 4/26/2007 2:34:49 PM.

Re: Vacation Opinions Please

I appreciate all your opinions and advice... that's why I asked.

Truth is, this is what I *want* to do... when she arrives, not sure how I'll feel. NOt sure what type of baby she will be and if I'll feel comfortable leaving her, even with my Aunt. Of course my Mom and MIL have also offered to help and stay, as they all know we didn't go on a HM. (I wanted to have the wedding after the baby too).

DH isn't mad and this isn't a huge issue, he did ask me to put a post up and get other opinons As of right now, he's willing to do a long weekend away someplace close- like Ocean City or something. I feel, if we do that, we can just bring her w/ us & maybe have his parents come too, that way maybe we can go out to dinner ONE night.

Re: Vacation Opinions Please

I think its fine. My parents left me when I was about 18 months for 2 weeks ( I was the 3rd child though which seems to make a difference). My SIL & BIL are planning an anniversary trip and leaving my 11 month old niece with my ILs.
I think now is the time, once they get alittle older they realize you are gone and its harder for them. By the time my nephew was 2 he would start acting up if left with family for a weekend because he missed his parents.
I dont think a week is too long especially if the baby is with well trusted family. And I say do it now before you put it on hold indefinitely

Re: Vacation Opinions Please

I would think 3-4 days, but a full 7 might be too long, for you, baby, DH, and your aunt. JMO

Re: Vacation Opinions Please

I say if you have the opertunity then GO and relax so what if you cant BD just enjoy the QUITE time you guys will h ave together

Re: Vacation Opinions Please

Nobody is trying to make you feel guilty. Do what is right for you.

I gave you the example of what my sister did and how my mom felt after 1 wk. She loved it but it was exhausting.

Will you baby be fine? Most likely!
Will you miss your baby? Most likely!

See how you feel after you have the baby. You may decide you do need the break indeed or just decide to wait a bit longer.

Re: Vacation Opinions Please

I didn't think anyone was trying to make me feel guilty. I just wanted opinions.

Maybe I live in lala land and thinking of going away w/out the baby was totally taboo. ?? I'd especially be interested to see what other new mommies thoughts were, as I'm not a Mom yet. Maybe there is something that I"m not taking into account?

DH and I in the end will do what we feel is best, whatever that ends up being? Me, at this moment in time, would be ready to pack and go.

(I hadn't given a thought to the BFing part though)

Re: Vacation Opinions Please

speaking from experience I would say that week is going to seem to long and you will spend that last few days of your vacation missing the baby...I would suggest a 5 day vacation or maybe a long weekend

Re: Vacation Opinions Please

See I think I might be putting my own feelings in here so take this with a grain of salt but I do think leaving a 6 month old for a week with a family is a lot to ask and is different than leaving a 1 or 2 year old. I personally couldn't do it - b.c I wouldn't want to leave her alone that long. Some families do this all the time - I grew up where my family always took vacations with me so I might feel different than others on here.

Could you possibly go before the baby is born then there is no issue with leaving the baby and you can get in some romantic time before the baby is born? Or possibly only go say 3 or 4 days rather than a week?

I know it is a hard decision to make but only you can really decide what is best for you and your DH

Re: Vacation Opinions Please

i say if you go a shorter trip would be better however u never know-each family is different and they may not mind taking care of the baby for a week. You know them best.