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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Working moms and moms-to-be.....
My friend and I were having a discussion about working, and we find it almost impossible for both parents to work and have a family.
Please share your system and whether you think it works or not, and what you would do to change it.
Thanks!!
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Posted 11/10/06 11:32 AM  |
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LIMOMx2
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Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
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Re: Working moms and moms-to-be.....
DH and I both work and have a 5 month old and we have so much more going on but it is working out great so far.
We actually can't wait to have another child
The only thing I would do differently is go to bed earlier. After Andrew goes to bed at 7pm we tend to do so much and then all of a sudden it is 12am.
We have to learn to go to bed early and then I think everything would be great.
Message edited 11/10/2006 11:34:46 AM.
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| Posted 11/10/06 11:34 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Working moms and moms-to-be.....
DH & I both work too. Our kids were in daycare- I drop off, he picks up. He makes dinner since I get home later and am a horrible cook.
If I could do something different, I would like more help at night. He tends to think because he picked up & cooked, his job is done. I clean up dinner, do baths, get them in PJs, do laundry & get their clothes out for the night before, make lunch, etc.
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| Posted 11/10/06 11:38 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Working moms and moms-to-be.....
My husband has 2 jobs, I work as an attorney, we purchased a new house and did all the renovations ourselves, meanwhile we are raising a very SPIRITED baby girl, so it CAN be done we have a system, really. I wake up at 6:30 to the oh so beautiful screams of my 13 month old, I give her a bottle and put her in her rocking chair to watch a little video while I get ready for work. Hubby gets up a little while later, gets her lunch together for the day and feeds her breakfast. When I'm ready, I pack her into the car and take her to daycare (we have an absolutely SUPERB daycare at a local synogogue). I hop on the train usually around 7:40am, get to work at 8am, and I work through the day until 5pm. Hubby and I both get home around 5:30-ish, and either he or myself picks her up. We play with her, bathe her, feed her dinner and put her to bed at 7pm, and then we have dinner and relax for a few hours before going to sleep...
It's definitely tiring, and the first few months I went back to work after maternity leave were the most insanely difficult months of my life... but eventually we got a routine going, and now every minute I spend with my daughter is precious and truly enjoyable...
Edited to add - what really helps is that (1) we hired cleaners, and (2) DH is a tremendous help. He cooks most nights, helps me tidy up the house, etc. The only problem we have is when she gets sick - because we have no real immediate family close to us, we have to juggle our schedules to stay home with her.
Message edited 11/10/2006 11:42:48 AM.
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| Posted 11/10/06 11:39 AM |
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Anniegrl
I'm two!
Member since 5/05 4320 total posts
Name:
Ann
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Re: Working moms and moms-to-be.....
Jackson is 6 months old and DH and I both work full-time. I get up at 6am, get myself and then Jackson ready, wake up DH and get him going, then off to drop Jackson at daycare. I get home with Jackson at around 5pm, and he goes to bed at 6:30, which kind of s ucks because I don't get to spend much time with him during the week 
The weekends are very busy; DH and I pass Jackson back and forth between us as we try to get things done. I sometimes get to go out to the store while DH watches him, but we really don't have much of a life.
I hate that I have to work....
It's not hard with both of us working full-time and having a baby; it's just that our lives aren't what we want them to be. DH's goal is for me to eventually not have to work.
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| Posted 11/10/06 11:41 AM |
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Lauren
Very Happy!
Member since 10/06 3917 total posts
Name:
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Re: Working moms and moms-to-be.....
My DH and I are having this discussion now, as we are planning to start TTC early next year.
We both currently work, and I work 10 minutes from my house, and I make a very good salary and it would almost be foolish for me to give it up - so I might go back to work after my first and then see what happens when I have my second....my MIL also lives 2 minutes from my office and doesn't work, so I am hoping she can help out as opposed to doing day care.....we shall see.
I think it is possible for both people to work. You just have to be organized!!
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| Posted 11/10/06 11:42 AM |
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steph4777
**************
Member since 5/05 11726 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Working moms and moms-to-be.....
It is not impossible.... There are many families who have 2 parents who work outside of the home and have great family relationships. It's all about figuring how to manage your schedules. Does it help to have an employer who are flexible, yes, but each couple will do what works best for thier family.
DH takes and picks up DS from daycare because he doesn't have to leave as early as I do. I just leave DS clothes and fix his cup of milk before I leave. When I get home around 6 or 630pm, DH is usually feeding Nate. I will start making out dinner while he's doing that. Then I will bathe DS and get him to bed by 7:30pm. DH and I spend a the evening together - talking and/or watching TV. We do our errands and cleaning on the weekends.
I personally was not happy being a SAHM. I did it for a year and it's not for me. I enjoy working and contributing financially to my family. DH is great bc he is an equal partner in taking care of DS and the house.
Message edited 11/10/2006 11:45:11 AM.
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| Posted 11/10/06 11:42 AM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: Working moms and moms-to-be.....
That's exactly what we were talking about, where's the actual time spent enjoying your family?
While I truly admire all of your for the amazing moms you are and for being able to juggle your career and family, I feel like a breakdown would surely be imminent for me.....
DH and I barely see each other as it is, and I realize that we will have to make sacrifices in our schedules, but there really isn't much left to sacrifice!!!!
It is very scary....
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| Posted 11/10/06 11:46 AM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: Working moms and moms-to-be.....
I wake up at 7:15 to pump. DD usually wakes up at 7:30. We play until 8 where I hand her over to DH. I shower and get ready and then feed her at 8:30. DH then takes her to daycare (but we are getting a nanny), so the nanny will be arriving at 8:30.
I pick her up frmo Daycare at 5:30. I play with her, feed her, bathe her, read to her, feed her again adn then she goes to sleep. DH usually comes home after she is asleep. He and I watch TV or rent a movie. Then I go to sleep.
Weekends are all about family time. We are pretty much together all weekend, unless DH works the occassional Sunday. That is when we get our quality family time.
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| Posted 11/10/06 11:50 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Working moms and moms-to-be.....
Posted by curliegirl
That's exactly what we were talking about, where's the actual time spent enjoying your family?
While I truly admire all of your for the amazing moms you are and for being able to juggle your career and family, I feel like a breakdown would surely be imminent for me.....
DH and I barely see each other as it is, and I realize that we will have to make sacrifices in our schedules, but there really isn't much left to sacrifice!!!!
It is very scary....
There is no denying that we don't spend as much time with our children, but I hope that I speak for the other working mommies when I say that the time we DO spend with our children, because it is more limited, is VERY precious and VERY quality. For me, personally, I'm with my daughter from 6:30am-7:30am, and then from 5pm-7pm on weekdays. On weekends, I spend the entire weekend with her and hubby. I'm much more protective of my weekend time now - I don't spend nearly as much time with friends because weekends are reserved for my family.
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| Posted 11/10/06 11:54 AM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: Working moms and moms-to-be.....
Posted by Bxgell2
Posted by curliegirl
That's exactly what we were talking about, where's the actual time spent enjoying your family?
While I truly admire all of your for the amazing moms you are and for being able to juggle your career and family, I feel like a breakdown would surely be imminent for me.....
DH and I barely see each other as it is, and I realize that we will have to make sacrifices in our schedules, but there really isn't much left to sacrifice!!!!
It is very scary....
There is no denying that we don't spend as much time with our children, but I hope that I speak for the other working mommies when I say that the time we DO spend with our children, because it is more limited, is VERY precious and VERY quality. For me, personally, I'm with my daughter from 6:30am-7:30am, and then from 5pm-7pm on weekdays. On weekends, I spend the entire weekend with her and hubby. I'm much more protective of my weekend time now - I don't spend nearly as much time with friends because weekends are reserved for my family.
I guess my work schedule will have to change, or I would never see my kids. I work 10-7 and DH leaves the house at 5:30, so I would have to do it all in the AM by myself, and by the time I get home, baby's already asleep.....No that will not work!!!
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| Posted 11/10/06 11:58 AM |
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LIMOMx2
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Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
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Re: Working moms and moms-to-be.....
Posted by Bxgell2
Posted by curliegirl
That's exactly what we were talking about, where's the actual time spent enjoying your family?
While I truly admire all of your for the amazing moms you are and for being able to juggle your career and family, I feel like a breakdown would surely be imminent for me.....
DH and I barely see each other as it is, and I realize that we will have to make sacrifices in our schedules, but there really isn't much left to sacrifice!!!!
It is very scary....
There is no denying that we don't spend as much time with our children, but I hope that I speak for the other working mommies when I say that the time we DO spend with our children, because it is more limited, is VERY precious and VERY quality. For me, personally, I'm with my daughter from 6:30am-7:30am, and then from 5pm-7pm on weekdays. On weekends, I spend the entire weekend with her and hubby. I'm much more protective of my weekend time now - I don't spend nearly as much time with friends because weekends are reserved for my family.
I totally agree. We hired a cleaning service so weekends I don't have to clean and we spend the entire weekend just hanging out as a family. I love it. I go into work at 10 am so I have a little more time in the morning and DH and I get home around 4:30 so we have until 7pm to be with Andrew. I enjoy being with him and being at work. I love the balance that we have.
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| Posted 11/10/06 11:59 AM |
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LIMOMx2
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Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
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Re: Working moms and moms-to-be.....
I go into work at 10am and do it all by myself. It is not hard at all.
Andrew wakes up around 7am. I give him his bottle then we play for awhile.
Then I feed him his oatmeal and fruit.
After this he usually goees down for a 40 min or so nap. At this time I take a shower and get ready for work. I try and pack the car up to before he wakes up.
Then off we go.
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| Posted 11/10/06 12:02 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Working moms and moms-to-be.....
Posted by 5ofClubs
I go into work at 10am and do it all by myself. It is not hard at all.
Andrew wakes up around 7am. I give him his bottle then we play for awhile.
Then I feed him his oatmeal and fruit.
After this he usually goees down for a 40 min or so nap. At this time I take a shower and get ready for work. I try and pack the car up to before he wakes up.
Then off we go.
Do you pay less for daycare if he is there 10-4 instead of 9-5, or is it one set price?
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| Posted 11/10/06 12:04 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Working moms and moms-to-be.....
Posted by curliegirl
Posted by Bxgell2
Posted by curliegirl
That's exactly what we were talking about, where's the actual time spent enjoying your family?
While I truly admire all of your for the amazing moms you are and for being able to juggle your career and family, I feel like a breakdown would surely be imminent for me.....
DH and I barely see each other as it is, and I realize that we will have to make sacrifices in our schedules, but there really isn't much left to sacrifice!!!!
It is very scary....
There is no denying that we don't spend as much time with our children, but I hope that I speak for the other working mommies when I say that the time we DO spend with our children, because it is more limited, is VERY precious and VERY quality. For me, personally, I'm with my daughter from 6:30am-7:30am, and then from 5pm-7pm on weekdays. On weekends, I spend the entire weekend with her and hubby. I'm much more protective of my weekend time now - I don't spend nearly as much time with friends because weekends are reserved for my family.
I guess my work schedule will have to change, or I would never see my kids. I work 10-7 and DH leaves the house at 5:30, so I would have to do it all in the AM by myself, and by the time I get home, baby's already asleep.....No that will not work!!!
Actually, you may find that's not the case. It all depends on your baby - my daughter is at her absolute BEST in the morning. I would love to spend more time with her in the AM than in the PM!
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| Posted 11/10/06 12:06 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Working moms and moms-to-be.....
Posted by curliegirl
My friend and I were having a discussion about working, and we find it almost impossible for both parents to work and have a family.
Please share your system and whether you think it works or not, and what you would do to change it.
Thanks!!
Can I ask why you think it is impossible? I have been doing it for 8 years. Yes, it is hard because when I am home, I have to do others things like cleaning the house and laundry but like today, I am taking the time out to get the kids out of the house as they get bored just like I do.
My dh helps with baths, putting in and taking out laundry, outside cleaning and whatever else I nag about-lol!!
My dh works 7-4 and I work 9-5 and it works for us. I drop and pu our son at daycare, he picks up our daughter at after-care.
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| Posted 11/10/06 12:07 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Working moms and moms-to-be.....
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by curliegirl
My friend and I were having a discussion about working, and we find it almost impossible for both parents to work and have a family.
Please share your system and whether you think it works or not, and what you would do to change it.
Thanks!!
Can I ask why you think it is impossible? I have been doing it for 8 years. Yes, it is hard because when I am home, I have to do others things like cleaning the house and laundry but like today, I am taking the time out to get the kids out of the house as they get bored just like I do.
My dh helps with baths, putting in and taking out laundry, outside cleaning and whatever else I nag about-lol!!
My dh works 7-4 and I work 9-5 and it works for us. I drop and pu our son at daycare, he picks up our daughter at after-care.
I don't have kids, but I think it would be difficult for me in my current job...I often have meetings that run until after 5 (or meetings that begin at 8AM), and it wouldn't really be appropriate to stand up and leave in the middle of it. I guess the culture of where I work (or the level where I am--to be honest everyone expects the secretaries to leave on the dot of 5) is that you will be there whenever you are needed, and it is often after 5. Daycare where I work ends at 5.
Don't get me wrong, I would think it's a completely different story if a family member minds your child, but it would be difficult for me making it to the daycare facility exactly when you need to be there.
Message edited 11/10/2006 12:11:29 PM.
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| Posted 11/10/06 12:09 PM |
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steph4777
**************
Member since 5/05 11726 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Working moms and moms-to-be.....
Posted by Bxgell2
Posted by curliegirl
That's exactly what we were talking about, where's the actual time spent enjoying your family?
While I truly admire all of your for the amazing moms you are and for being able to juggle your career and family, I feel like a breakdown would surely be imminent for me.....
DH and I barely see each other as it is, and I realize that we will have to make sacrifices in our schedules, but there really isn't much left to sacrifice!!!!
It is very scary....
There is no denying that we don't spend as much time with our children, but I hope that I speak for the other working mommies when I say that the time we DO spend with our children, because it is more limited, is VERY precious and VERY quality. For me, personally, I'm with my daughter from 6:30am-7:30am, and then from 5pm-7pm on weekdays. On weekends, I spend the entire weekend with her and hubby. I'm much more protective of my weekend time now - I don't spend nearly as much time with friends because weekends are reserved for my family.
It's definitely quality over quantity when it comes to time being spend with Nate.
I am a better Mommy to Nate bc I work. I was miserable at home, I felt like there was something missing. I love DS, but I also enjoy working. I definitely appreciate the time we spend together as a family much more now.
There's also a flip side to having a stay at home parent. Many times the parent who works is working very long hours so that the other person can stay home. Sometimes the working parent is the one who misses out on the family time because they work so much.
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| Posted 11/10/06 12:11 PM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: Working moms and moms-to-be.....
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by curliegirl
My friend and I were having a discussion about working, and we find it almost impossible for both parents to work and have a family.
Please share your system and whether you think it works or not, and what you would do to change it.
Thanks!!
Can I ask why you think it is impossible? I have been doing it for 8 years. Yes, it is hard because when I am home, I have to do others things like cleaning the house and laundry but like today, I am taking the time out to get the kids out of the house as they get bored just like I do.
My dh helps with baths, putting in and taking out laundry, outside cleaning and whatever else I nag about-lol!!
My dh works 7-4 and I work 9-5 and it works for us. I drop and pu our son at daycare, he picks up our daughter at after-care.
It seems impossible for me RIGHT NOW because, like I said before, I work 10-7, that means IF I go straight home (no gym, no food shopping, noting), I'm home by 7:30. I would never see my kids at night, DH and I would be like single parents, I do all the AM stuff, he does all the PM......
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| Posted 11/10/06 12:14 PM |
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LIMOMx2
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Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
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Re: Working moms and moms-to-be.....
Posted by nov04libride
Posted by 5ofClubs
I go into work at 10am and do it all by myself. It is not hard at all.
Andrew wakes up around 7am. I give him his bottle then we play for awhile.
Then I feed him his oatmeal and fruit.
After this he usually goees down for a 40 min or so nap. At this time I take a shower and get ready for work. I try and pack the car up to before he wakes up.
Then off we go.
Do you pay less for daycare if he is there 10-4 instead of 9-5, or is it one set price?
My family watches Andrew.
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| Posted 11/10/06 12:15 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Working moms and moms-to-be.....
Posted by Bxgell2
There is no denying that we don't spend as much time with our children, but I hope that I speak for the other working mommies when I say that the time we DO spend with our children, because it is more limited, is VERY precious and VERY quality. For me, personally, I'm with my daughter from 6:30am-7:30am, and then from 5pm-7pm on weekdays. On weekends, I spend the entire weekend with her and hubby. I'm much more protective of my weekend time now - I don't spend nearly as much time with friends because weekends are reserved for my family.
You spoke very well for me!. I'm with my children 6:30am-7am, then from 6:30pm-8pm. Weekends are definitely geared toward the family (with the exception of the past month for me). I think we do more on the weekend with our kids - zoo, botanical gardens, manhattan, montauk, Aquarium, etc. because I don't have that quality time during the week.
Friendships are probably the relationships that suffered the most - but having friends with children they understand more. Eventually you work out get togethers with them & their kids on the weekends so you enjoy everyone.
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| Posted 11/10/06 12:15 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Working moms and moms-to-be.....
Posted by nov04libride
Do you pay less for daycare if he is there 10-4 instead of 9-5, or is it one set price?
Probably no different if it's 9-5 or 10-4. If it's before 8am or after 5pm, it's additional.
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| Posted 11/10/06 12:18 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Working moms and moms-to-be.....
Posted by nov04libride
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by curliegirl
My friend and I were having a discussion about working, and we find it almost impossible for both parents to work and have a family.
Please share your system and whether you think it works or not, and what you would do to change it.
Thanks!!
Can I ask why you think it is impossible? I have been doing it for 8 years. Yes, it is hard because when I am home, I have to do others things like cleaning the house and laundry but like today, I am taking the time out to get the kids out of the house as they get bored just like I do.
My dh helps with baths, putting in and taking out laundry, outside cleaning and whatever else I nag about-lol!!
My dh works 7-4 and I work 9-5 and it works for us. I drop and pu our son at daycare, he picks up our daughter at after-care.
I don't have kids, but I think it would be difficult for me in my current job...I often have meetings that run until after 5 (or meetings that begin at 8AM), and it wouldn't really be appropriate to stand up and leave in the middle of it. I guess the culture of where I work (or the level where I am--to be honest everyone expects the secretaries to leave on the dot of 5) is that you will be there whenever you are needed, and it is often after 5. Daycare where I work ends at 5.
Don't get me wrong, I would think it's a completely different story if a family member minds your child, but it would be difficult for me making it to the daycare facility exactly when you need to be there.
I understand your situation. My dc opens at 7am and closes at 6pm. Some dc's even open up earlier and close later than that to accomodate all parents.
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| Posted 11/10/06 12:41 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Working moms and moms-to-be.....
Posted by curliegirl
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by curliegirl
My friend and I were having a discussion about working, and we find it almost impossible for both parents to work and have a family.
Please share your system and whether you think it works or not, and what you would do to change it.
Thanks!!
Can I ask why you think it is impossible? I have been doing it for 8 years. Yes, it is hard because when I am home, I have to do others things like cleaning the house and laundry but like today, I am taking the time out to get the kids out of the house as they get bored just like I do.
My dh helps with baths, putting in and taking out laundry, outside cleaning and whatever else I nag about-lol!!
My dh works 7-4 and I work 9-5 and it works for us. I drop and pu our son at daycare, he picks up our daughter at after-care.
It seems impossible for me RIGHT NOW because, like I said before, I work 10-7, that means IF I go straight home (no gym, no food shopping, noting), I'm home by 7:30. I would never see my kids at night, DH and I would be like single parents, I do all the AM stuff, he does all the PM......
Yes, I see with your work hours now but you never know what will happen in the future with your job. You make sacrifices for your children. I am not 100% happy in my job but for right now, the hours are good, I am close to dc and school and close to home. I am sacrificing "loving" my job for my children.
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| Posted 11/10/06 12:43 PM |
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Kate07
Feel better my little guy!
Member since 5/05 4476 total posts
Name:
Kate
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Re: Working moms and moms-to-be.....
DH and I were married 6 months when I unexpectedly became pregnant and just about to start a very promising and well-paying job and DH was in his first year out of law school. It couldn't have happened at a more hectic time.
Well,  Connor arrived and he has been the greatest thing for us. We have made it work. I'm back at work. DH can work from home two days a week. My mom watches him two days a week, and my cousin watches him one day a week. Soon enough we'll either have him with one person fulltime (probably my cousin b/c I can't expect my mother to be doing so much driving from Suffolk) or Daycare.
I'm also hoping to telecommute one day a week at some point soon.
Everyone I know seems to work it out and for the most part is very happy.
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| Posted 11/10/06 7:35 PM |
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