Re: Dividing up the holidays

It's worked out well for us- we flip-flop and either way we have to travel so there's no pressure to house-hop (which both my brothers do with their wives). This year, DH's family gets Thanksgiving and my family gets X-Mas.

Re: Dividing up the holidays

That's the great thing about being an interfaith couple. DH's family gets Hannukah, we spend Christmas at my parent's house and we host Thanksgiving at our house!

Re: Dividing up the holidays

This is one of the reasons why I'm glad we're interfaith. I think my family would give me a lot of grief if I didn't spend the holidays with them. We usually spend Thanksgiving with my family. DH's birthday usually falls sometime during the week of Thanksgiving and we celebrate it with my family. Last year, MIL also spent Thanksgiving with us. The next day, we went to FIL's for a post-Thanksgiving meal. This year, I don't think there will be any conflict b/c DH's sister (and possibly his youngest brother) are going out to CA over Thanksgiving to see DH's other brother.

We spend the Jewish holidays with my family, but when Chanukah falls on Christmas, we celebrate Christmas with DH's family. Last year, DH's grandmother invited my parents and brother over on Christmas eve. DH and I then spent Christmas day at FIL's house. I assume we'll do something similar this year - Christmas eve with MIL's side and Christmas day with FIL's side.

Re: Dividing up the holidays

Try doing with with two sides of divorced parents

Here's the plan for this year:

Thanksgiving: FIL
Christmas Eve: MIL
Christmas: Mom
Easter: Dad

It works out okay since MIL always had Christmas Eve as a big deal... I'd rather go to my dad's for thianksgiving since he's closer, but thanksgiving has always been a big family thing with his family... and unfortunatly i think i'm inheriting it once we have a house

Re: Dividing up the holidays

We host FIL, BIL and wife and their kids for christmas eve. We drive to see his mom and visit with her the weekend before christmas.

Christmas day we see my family.

I'm more stressed about thanksgiving cause it's my favorite holiday and I dont ever want to give it up. We're going to my parent's house and have invited FIL to join us. I'm secretly hoping that he doesnt come - he just sits and the corner and doesnt talk to anyone except his 33 year old son - who he calls "My baby" and "Little Tuggy." so annoying.

Re: Dividing up the holidays

WE got thru our first year, it was very hard. So now next year we will do the opposite of last year and go back and forth.

Re: Dividing up the holidays

Usually my MIL comes and spends the holidays with us....so we do not have the need to split the holidays

My sister and BIL have been doing something for years now that realky works for them. They spend every other holiday with the other family. So this year they will spend Thanksgiving with my sisters side...next year with my BIL side. It works out really well for them. They dont feel like the have to eat 2 dinners on one day and they get to spend the whole day with which ever family they are spending it with.

Re: Dividing up the holidays

I'm having a problem with the holidays this year. DH extended family puts on a chaotic xmas brunch every year. My MIL would prefer that we go to her house on xmas eve for a quieter family dinner which is their tradition. For the past couple of years, that is what we have been doing and then going to my family's xmas day. I love this arrangement.
However, this year, dh wants to go to his family's on xmas. And he's giving me grief about going to my family's xmas eve because they don't do anything special. I'm hoping his mom can talk some sense into him and we can do what we've been doing for the past few years.

Re: Dividing up the holidays

this is goin to be a biggg prob this year

we haved divided up the holidays for the past 8 years--but it was SO EASY bc we lived across the street from each other

now, since his wonderful parents had to move 2.5 hours away, this makes it harder--
ii dont have the day off after thanksgiving, neither does he

xmas eve i do NOT want to sleep up there-i want to wake up in my own house on our first xmas together....

im hopin they have it at the grandmothers house for xmas eve....

Re: Dividing up the holidays

Thanksgiving this year will be at his mom's since none of my family will be around. Christmas Eve my mom always did, but since she moved away I'll be doing it and Christmas day is always at my SIL. Its the same every year so there's no problems for us. Thanksgiving we used to alternate when my mom lived in NY. Or one for dinner, one for dessert.

Re: Dividing up the holidays

Thanksgiving is the problem for me....S/O works everyday - holiday or not. Holidays he gets out of work at 5pm instead of 7. We live with his sister, but she refuses to wait dinner for him....and I'm the one who cooks.

She is going to be all upset, but we are going out with friends of ours for Thanksgiving this year, who have no problem waiting for him.

Oh yeah...we go thru the same thing at Easter. Christmas isn't so bad....her boys just open there stuff in the morning and for some reason she will wait for him that day.

My parents have both passed and really don't have any family that I see, except Jodi.

Message edited 10/10/2006 1:20:12 PM.

Re: Dividing up the holidays

Posted by DMcK

And the conversation begins

ETA: it's really not major drama, I'm a baby when it comes to this & hate not being with my fam for every holiday

Re: Dividing up the holidays

we started these talks too - the only overlapping holiday we have is Thanksgiving. B/c my sisters are away I feel like I should be with mine. The other SILs on his side do an every other year thing. B/c this is the first year we're married though I think we may do mine for dinner and his for dessert since it goes later. Dreading the driving though, since one is on LI and the other Westchester.

Re: Dividing up the holidays

Message edited 10/10/2006 4:51:46 PM.

Re: Dividing up the holidays

We've been going through this since the day we started dating.

Easter go to DH's family.
Thanksgiving we would normally go to my Family, but this year they're coming to me.
Christmas Eve - my family
Christmas Day - DH's family

It's a LOT of running around Christmas because my family is Upstate.

For the most part it's not a problem, but my MIL feels we should be with her every moment of our lives. Any time we say we're going upstate to visit my family she's says "Again?! Didn't you already go?!".... Yeah...ummm....Like 3 mths ago. Soooo needless to say we stopped visiting every weekend...

Whoa...did I just totally go off topic or what?!

This is good therapy!

Message edited 10/10/2006 4:54:49 PM.

Re: Dividing up the holidays

We rotate Thanksgiving - which is fine.

It's Christmas Eve that is always a huge "UGH" for us. It's a big thing in DHs family - every CE At his mom's - huge seafood spread. We pass out the gift's for the kids, etc.

Except that it's *my* birthday and just once I would like to do something different. Problem is that I enjoy the night as much as DH does and would hate to miss it...but just once I'd really love to go away for our b/day's (he's 12/22) or spend the day in Manhattan without having to rush home.

I feel your pain...pick your battles and start now!

Re: Dividing up the holidays

Posted by lorich
Any time we say we're going upstate to visit my family she's says "Again?! Didn't you already go?!".... Yeah...ummm....Like 3 months ago.

Re: Dividing up the holidays

I HATE this- especially since we both want to be with our own families and everyone is out of state.

This year is much easier since I will be nine months preggo. Everyone is coming here- My SIL out here is hosting Christmas Eve and we are hosting Christmas Day. For once, no arguments.

Re: Dividing up the holidays

This year will be easy. With a baby on the way - they are all coming to ME!

Re: Dividing up the holidays

We pretty much have a system down at this point, but even so, I always have a hard time not being with my family for a holiday.

Every year for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, we alternate. One family gets Rosh Hashanah (2 days), and one gets Yom Kippur (1 day) and Thanksgiving. Hence, a Fast and a Feast!

Chanukah is thankfully 8 days, so we can see both families, but this year, we want to have everyone over for Chanukah and both mother's b-days, since they all overlap

For Passover, each family gets one seder. My parents get the first night, b/c my aunt, uncle and cousins come over, and we go to his aunt the second night

Mothers day and Fathers day usually are a pain, b/c we run between Long Island and Staten Island, or vice versa. This past year, we managed to get everyone to go to the Mets game for Fathers day, so that worked!

Re: Dividing up the holidays

We also have a system down. IL's are in bklyn and my family is on LI-i refuse to spend another holiday on the belt parkway!

Thanksgiving is my Dh's fave holiday-we spend it with his family, which is a HUGE compromise on my part-my IL's make a big italian dinner?? Then they throw in a turkey breast with no fixings!! It is so not thanksgiving to me-but it means a lot to him. We always go to my moms the next day for leftovers.

X-mas eve with IL's they again do the big italian thing-we end up being there til about 4 am b/c neices and nephews open their presents after midnight and of course after that we eat again! lol
Wake up about 9 on x-mas and go to my dads for breakfast then go to my Moms for presents and dinner. I end up not even seeing my grandparents-i go there the week between x-mas and new years.

easter is with my family.

Re: Dividing up the holidays

Message edited 5/4/2008 4:23:46 PM.

Re: Dividing up the holidays

I have it BAD. My parents are still married, they live in Queens. We live in NJ, 1 hr away from them. My grandma is 86 and lives in Queens, refuses to leave Queens for the holidays. My DH's parents are divorces, his dad lives in the Hamptons, and he also refuses to go anywhere but there for the holidays. And then, my MIL lives in NC and is disabled so she cannot go anywhere for the holidays. So it is always like, who's turn is it, who are we going to make happy and who are we going to upset.....we try to do every other Christmas in NC with my MIL and my mom had the nerve to tell me "I don't have to like that arrangement"..and actually gets angry with us when we go down there. The lady is in a wheelchair for God's sake!! Every year I would like to skip the holidays all together.