Dividing up the holidays

And the conversation begins

ETA: it's really not major drama, I'm a baby when it comes to this & hate not being with my fam for every holiday

Message edited 10/8/2006 3:01:30 PM.

Re: Dividing up the holidays

omg. last year was a disaster. Need to start negotiations NOW

Re: Dividing up the holidays

Re: Dividing up the holidays

Good luck!!

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we had the talk a long time ago and figured out how to divi up...

But when we have a child things might get sticky again

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Good luck.

As we are interfaith it's a bit easier but it's also twice the holidays DH's sister really wanted us to come to MA for Christmas this year. Ummm, yeah, WHATEVER, I was the one raised Catholic and my entire extended family are practicing why would I go to the Jewish side of the family for X-mas day? Plus my immediate family is my brother and handicapped dad.

Because SIL's have been married for 15 years now IL's always go to one for Thanksgiving and the other for X-mas (yes, one year leaving DH completely alone, he volunterred at a soup kitchen) but I'm hoping with the twins on the way that will change in a few years as SIL's kids are entering their teens and we will have little ones. DH and I negotiated that I am never going anywhere but downstairs for X-mas Growing up I was always traveling on that day.

Can you just do every other year?

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We set up a sort of rotation that all partiies agreed on including our parents but it never fails that my MIL gets pissy because "she didn't realize" blah blah blah. She also gets annoyed that we sleep at my parents (our parents live in the same town) so we ultimately spend more time with them. Yet, there is no where for us to sleep in her apt.

Re: Dividing up the holidays

Daniela-

I am at the same point you are! We are already starting to talk about it! We have decided to split the holidays and I do like going to my family for every one also. The holidays have changed in my family somewhat, so the actual days I want to be at my family, these are the same days MIL insists we come to hear home.

Last year, we split up EACH holiday, but I don't know how that will work this year.. traveling almost two hours PLUS traveling between families may be too much. I found it easier to alternate each year.

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That reminds me this year we go to His Aunt's for thanksgiving because Last year we went to mind. and Christmas eve is with his family than Christmas day is with mine....Wait I feel cheated I get one holiday with mine.

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Ughh. I am having anxiety just thinking about this. The rash has broken out. I hate this. I of course want to spend the holidays with my family. This year I think I am going to ask my parents if it is okay to ask my mil and her bf to christmas day dinner. With my nephew's arrival coming any day I assume everyone will be at my parents for xmas. Just have to figure out what to do with Dh's dad his wife and Thanksgiving.

Message edited 10/8/2006 3:20:54 PM.

Re: Dividing up the holidays

This is the ONE nice thing about DH having little to no relationship with his family, we don't have to worry about this. We see his step mom and the kids on Xmas Eve (she takes the kids to her family's).

Except this year, my DH is working EVERY holiday and we live on Staten Island and my whole family is in Eastern Suffolk, so I guess I have to go myself or not go. Sad.

And, weirdest thing of all is that my family is campaigning for us to have Christmas 2007 at our house b/c we will have the baby and everyone could come here, holy grown ups batman.

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Christmas ends up being exhausting...

On Christmas eve we go to dinner with DH's mom and sister, then I run to go to church with my mother that night, and then we alternate dinner at my parents in Whitestone with dessert with his family in Massapequa Park. So one year we eat dinner with my family and then trek out to Mass. Park... the next year we go to dinner in Mass Park and then dessert with my family. I hate not having Christmas dinner with my family, it just doesn't feel like Christmas. Also, I don't get to open gifts with my parents until late that night...it should be Christmas morning!!!

At least Thanksgiving is not an issue, we just see my family because his mom usually works.

And easter is easy because I'm greek, so Greek easter is usually a week after regular Easter so we are okay on that.

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This year the timing of the birth of baby #2 is perfect. We are spending both holidays ALONE Just us The baby will only be a week old for Thanksgiving and 5 weeks for Christmas so hee hee hee, no family drama for me At least for this year, by Easter it will be back!!

Re: Dividing up the holidays

ugh! totally know the feeling! i LOVE being with my family and i'm such a baby about having to divide things up now....and its so bad because all of dhs family things are waaay out in the middle of nowhere in PA, so its a 5-6 hour drive to get there
luckily, DH isn't super close to his family so he doesn't mind not being with them....the only holiday he really cares about is thanksgiving. so last year we did his family for thanksgiving)
and then we did my family for christmas so it worked out really well...
but its such a pain and so hard not seeing my famly on every holiday anymore...

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We have Thanksgiving Dinner with either my mom or we go to my SIL in Saratoga and then have Christmas Dinner with the other. If we had Thanks giving at my moms then we have Christmas at my MIL & FIL's. It is nice to go to Saratoga for a 4 day weekend and I love seeing my little niece on xmas but I miss seeing my cousin who only comes to my mom's for Thanksgiving.

eta: whereever we have xmas dinner we'll go to the other for dessert or before dinner (they are not far apart). We get out to see my dad during that week.

Message edited 10/8/2006 4:10:04 PM.

Re: Dividing up the holidays

Usually Christmas Eve we go to my parents, Christmas Day to my inlaws..
However, last year my SILs family invited my inlaws, us , and my family all to their house. It was awesome. Kind of hoping that's what happens again, but, not too sure.

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Once again, I'm soooo thankful that FH's family doesn't live in the US. It alleviates a lot of stress.

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We started this discussion the other day too. We tend to go to both family's houses for each holiday because we're all within 15 minutes of each other- but this year we will have a newborn and I don't feel like dragging him all around. My parents had my in-laws over for Thanksgiving last year, but I have a feeling that my MIL may wantto host this year- and I know she won't invite my parents. It's not that they don't like them, but she can't invite my parents without inviting their other DIL's parents and my in-laws don't like them.
Then we go to DH's aunt's for Christmas Eve, my sister's Christmas morning and then DH's parents on Christmas afternoon. I feel like telling everyone that we're going to be home and if anyone wantsto see us they're welcome to come over. It's so friggin' annoying running all around town trying not to offend anyone.

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This is our first year married, so we are splitting it up. It was a ncie conversation luckily and we agreed, thank goodness. We are having Thanksgiving here in Ny and going down to Florida to visit my family for Christmas

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i don't want to think about it this year. thanksgiving is the first holiday since we are married and i know we are going to wind up going to both families. not that they are far apart time wise, but its the worst travel day of the year.

i don't want to go to one for dinner and the other for dessert. i hate watching the clock all day.

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I hope we dodged the bullet this year

my inlaws moved to FL- and haven't said anything-

and my Dad invited us down- airfare and all- so we are going there - I need to book a flight this week

we decided that we can never make my inlaws happy- even if we went there- it would be something

of course if jake mentions that my Dad paid for the tickets- that will spark some kind of beth's dad "buys you off" comment

so since we can't win with them- they lose seeing us

thanksgiving is easy- b/c again Jake's parents moved- so we are going to my Grandmas

it seems like it all worked out now- but we'll see- they last 3 years have been tough- it makes it hard that Jake is an only child- we have just been going with our own familes to make it easier- but now I refuse to do that-

good luck

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Easy for us...

I host Thanksgiving - we invite both sides, whoever comes, comes, whoever doesn't, doesnt....

Since we're Jewish, most holidays are more than 1 day, so we usually don't have a problem.

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Im lucky this way.. My inlaws live out of state BUT There is usually some kind of Drama about who is having what holiday at their house

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My family tends to eat early, so we're able to go to both families.

Christmas Eve is with my family, Church, dinner, presents, etc. Christmas Day is with DH's family. My mom's ok with that. My sister spends Christmas Day with her ILs too.

Thanksgiving and Easter are pretty much the same.

Re: Dividing up the holidays

We have done it every year...and it's no different because there is a baby....