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They/Them

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windyweather21
LIF Adult

Member since 3/21

6092 total posts

Name:

Re: They/Them

Posted by klingklang77

Posted by windyweather21



Nice try editing your post. You STILL called me an idiot and it is quoted. So explain how kind and compassionate you are to people please......




Maybe that’s her comfort level *shrug*.



Maybe she is NOT as kind and compassionate as she claims she is. Hence the reason she has lost a lot of her IRL friends. Most people on here know her deal. You can't preach kindness to ALL and then go around and call a few names. It just doesn't work that way.

Posted 2/17/22 9:08 AM
 
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lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

9120 total posts

Name:

Re: They/Them

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by lululu

Having this conversation reminds me about how my father used to get so upset if we referred to my mom as She/Her in her presence. We were always told to be respectful and call her Mom. And that we should do the same by calling people by their name. If I had a friend over and I said "She wants a soda." My dad would correct me to say "Sally would like a soda." Growing up like that always makes me think that it is so rude to refer to someone as She or Her if they are standing right there. If they are there, you use their name.



My grandmother use to do the same, she thought it was rude to refer to anyone by anything other than their name.



I have to say I still kind of agree with it. When you hear someone referring to someone standing right there by a pronoun I think you sound like a bratty child. Call me old fashioned....

Posted 2/17/22 9:10 AM
 

Hofstra26
Love to Bake!

Member since 7/06

27915 total posts

Name:

Re: They/Them

Posted by lululu

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by lululu

Having this conversation reminds me about how my father used to get so upset if we referred to my mom as She/Her in her presence. We were always told to be respectful and call her Mom. And that we should do the same by calling people by their name. If I had a friend over and I said "She wants a soda." My dad would correct me to say "Sally would like a soda." Growing up like that always makes me think that it is so rude to refer to someone as She or Her if they are standing right there. If they are there, you use their name.



My grandmother use to do the same, she thought it was rude to refer to anyone by anything other than their name.



I have to say I still kind of agree with it. When you hear someone referring to someone standing right there by a pronoun I think you sound like a bratty child. Call me old fashioned....



Then I'm old fashioned too. lol I was corrected so many times growing up that using a person's name definitely stuck. But again, if someone asked me to refer to them otherwise than I would.

Posted 2/17/22 9:14 AM
 

windyweather21
LIF Adult

Member since 3/21

6092 total posts

Name:

Re: They/Them

Posted by lululu

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by lululu

Having this conversation reminds me about how my father used to get so upset if we referred to my mom as She/Her in her presence. We were always told to be respectful and call her Mom. And that we should do the same by calling people by their name. If I had a friend over and I said "She wants a soda." My dad would correct me to say "Sally would like a soda." Growing up like that always makes me think that it is so rude to refer to someone as She or Her if they are standing right there. If they are there, you use their name.



My grandmother use to do the same, she thought it was rude to refer to anyone by anything other than their name.



I have to say I still kind of agree with it. When you hear someone referring to someone standing right there by a pronoun I think you sound like a bratty child. Call me old fashioned....



Yes and that would pertain, I would think from life experience, to everyone in life. You use their name, not he/she/they/them.
I wonder if we didn't have social media and celebrities shoving their liberal views down our throats every 3 seconds, would this still happen? Would we still refer to people, with respect, like we always did, by their name. Why is a name given to you, or one you choose as you get older not ok? Why do we have to refer to someone as the sex they identify as?

Posted 2/17/22 9:17 AM
 

busymomonli
Resident Insomniac

Member since 4/13

1954 total posts

Name:

Re: They/Them

Posted by MrsWoods

Posted by mommy2devin

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by MrsWoods

I have multiple Gay friends and family member and they find these pronouns to be ridiculous and just a new trend. My kids do not use them. You are a she or a he regardless of what you do.



My DH has a transgender cousin that feels VERY strongly about which pronouns are used so it's not ridiculous and "trendy" to everyone.

At the end of the day, all anyone needs to do is be respectful of others. If *you* (collective) are asked by someone to refer to them a certain way, you do it whether you like it or not because it's the right thing to do. That's all this whole discussion boils down to.



Right decency and respect are hard for some people. But also, gay and transgender are two very different things.



I have two transgender first cousins, one lesbian sister, one gay uncle and a couple of other friends who are a variety of the above. All have children of their own and all do not require to be called they/them. When did they/them come out …It’s been around since the 14th century, however it’s not till 2017 did it become popular amongst the young generation so yes the TREND of using the terms started with the young generation.

And my children can do whatever they feel comfortable doing. So he/she is what you are called by them. Case closed



Most of these scenarios quoted above would not even warrant a they/them label. Being gay or transgender you (most of the time) still associate as your gender (i.e. a gay man, or a lesbian woman) and a transgender will often use the pronoun of what he/she is transitioning to.

They/them comes into play mostly with those who are gender fluid, non binary, or gender queer. My college age kids have taught me so much about all of this. And while I initially had hesitation like some of you have, I have learned to respect all the different types of gender roles. I don't think it is a trend, but kids learning more and being more of who they really feel inside. I think its wonderful that the Gen Z'ers are so open and caring to all different issues. My kids have been to LGBTQ rallies and BLM rallies and I couldn't be more proud of the whole generation.

Posted 2/17/22 9:19 AM
 

lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

9120 total posts

Name:

Re: They/Them

Posted by busymomonli

Posted by MrsWoods

Posted by mommy2devin

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by MrsWoods

I have multiple Gay friends and family member and they find these pronouns to be ridiculous and just a new trend. My kids do not use them. You are a she or a he regardless of what you do.



My DH has a transgender cousin that feels VERY strongly about which pronouns are used so it's not ridiculous and "trendy" to everyone.

At the end of the day, all anyone needs to do is be respectful of others. If *you* (collective) are asked by someone to refer to them a certain way, you do it whether you like it or not because it's the right thing to do. That's all this whole discussion boils down to.



Right decency and respect are hard for some people. But also, gay and transgender are two very different things.



I have two transgender first cousins, one lesbian sister, one gay uncle and a couple of other friends who are a variety of the above. All have children of their own and all do not require to be called they/them. When did they/them come out …It’s been around since the 14th century, however it’s not till 2017 did it become popular amongst the young generation so yes the TREND of using the terms started with the young generation.

And my children can do whatever they feel comfortable doing. So he/she is what you are called by them. Case closed



Most of these scenarios quoted above would not even warrant a they/them label. Being gay or transgender you (most of the time) still associate as your gender (i.e. a gay man, or a lesbian woman) and a transgender will often use the pronoun of what he/she is transitioning to.

They/them comes into play mostly with those who are gender fluid, non binary, or gender queer. My college age kids have taught me so much about all of this. And while I initially had hesitation like some of you have, I have learned to respect all the different types of gender roles. I don't think it is a trend, but kids learning more and being more of who they really feel inside. I think its wonderful that the Gen Z'ers are so open and caring to all different issues. My kids have been to LGBTQ rallies and BLM rallies and I couldn't be more proud of the whole generation.



Right - so it seems kind of silly for everyone to have to disclose their pronoun preferences when such a very small population is affected by this. So if you are nonbinary or gender fluid and someone calls you by a pronoun you don't want, then correct them. It's not offensive. People need to stop being so sensitive. I am all for calling people what they want but the world has gotten way too sensitive.

Posted 2/17/22 9:22 AM
 

mommy2devin
2 Boys, I need calgon!

Member since 10/07

1571 total posts

Name:
Shannon

Re: They/Them

Posted by busymomonli

Posted by MrsWoods

Posted by mommy2devin

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by MrsWoods

I have multiple Gay friends and family member and they find these pronouns to be ridiculous and just a new trend. My kids do not use them. You are a she or a he regardless of what you do.



My DH has a transgender cousin that feels VERY strongly about which pronouns are used so it's not ridiculous and "trendy" to everyone.

At the end of the day, all anyone needs to do is be respectful of others. If *you* (collective) are asked by someone to refer to them a certain way, you do it whether you like it or not because it's the right thing to do. That's all this whole discussion boils down to.



Right decency and respect are hard for some people. But also, gay and transgender are two very different things.



I have two transgender first cousins, one lesbian sister, one gay uncle and a couple of other friends who are a variety of the above. All have children of their own and all do not require to be called they/them. When did they/them come out …It’s been around since the 14th century, however it’s not till 2017 did it become popular amongst the young generation so yes the TREND of using the terms started with the young generation.

And my children can do whatever they feel comfortable doing. So he/she is what you are called by them. Case closed



Most of these scenarios quoted above would not even warrant a they/them label. Being gay or transgender you (most of the time) still associate as your gender (i.e. a gay man, or a lesbian woman) and a transgender will often use the pronoun of what he/she is transitioning to.

They/them comes into play mostly with those who are gender fluid, non binary, or gender queer. My college age kids have taught me so much about all of this. And while I initially had hesitation like some of you have, I have learned to respect all the different types of gender roles. I don't think it is a trend, but kids learning more and being more of who they really feel inside. I think its wonderful that the Gen Z'ers are so open and caring to all different issues. My kids have been to LGBTQ rallies and BLM rallies and I couldn't be more proud of the whole generation.



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Good job, Mama! Never a bad thing to raise your children to be young adults accepting and respectful of others! It isn't about what YOU feel comfortable with, right? It's about being respectful to others and how THEY feel. Hard concept on here for sure. I can't fathom teaching my children to completely disregard how someone else feels simply to make themselves comfortable. No matter what the select few on here who choose to role model that behavior believe I really hope we are teaching our children better and for the most part I think most are!

Posted 2/17/22 9:24 AM
 

mommy2devin
2 Boys, I need calgon!

Member since 10/07

1571 total posts

Name:
Shannon

Re: They/Them

Posted by lululu

Posted by busymomonli

Posted by MrsWoods

Posted by mommy2devin

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by MrsWoods

I have multiple Gay friends and family member and they find these pronouns to be ridiculous and just a new trend. My kids do not use them. You are a she or a he regardless of what you do.



My DH has a transgender cousin that feels VERY strongly about which pronouns are used so it's not ridiculous and "trendy" to everyone.

At the end of the day, all anyone needs to do is be respectful of others. If *you* (collective) are asked by someone to refer to them a certain way, you do it whether you like it or not because it's the right thing to do. That's all this whole discussion boils down to.



Right decency and respect are hard for some people. But also, gay and transgender are two very different things.



I have two transgender first cousins, one lesbian sister, one gay uncle and a couple of other friends who are a variety of the above. All have children of their own and all do not require to be called they/them. When did they/them come out …It’s been around since the 14th century, however it’s not till 2017 did it become popular amongst the young generation so yes the TREND of using the terms started with the young generation.

And my children can do whatever they feel comfortable doing. So he/she is what you are called by them. Case closed



Most of these scenarios quoted above would not even warrant a they/them label. Being gay or transgender you (most of the time) still associate as your gender (i.e. a gay man, or a lesbian woman) and a transgender will often use the pronoun of what he/she is transitioning to.

They/them comes into play mostly with those who are gender fluid, non binary, or gender queer. My college age kids have taught me so much about all of this. And while I initially had hesitation like some of you have, I have learned to respect all the different types of gender roles. I don't think it is a trend, but kids learning more and being more of who they really feel inside. I think its wonderful that the Gen Z'ers are so open and caring to all different issues. My kids have been to LGBTQ rallies and BLM rallies and I couldn't be more proud of the whole generation.



Right - so it seems kind of silly for everyone to have to disclose their pronoun preferences when such a very small population is affected by this. So if you are nonbinary or gender fluid and someone calls you by a pronoun you don't want, then correct them. It's not offensive. People need to stop being so sensitive. I am all for calling people what they want but the world has gotten way too sensitive.



I do agree with this for sure. If you say he/she and they ask you to use a different pronoun, use it. Out of respect for them! What I don't agree with is the notion that we should teach our children to continue to use he/she when specifically asked not to. That is rude, thoughtless, disrespectful, degrading and just plain ignorant.

Posted 2/17/22 9:25 AM
 

windyweather21
LIF Adult

Member since 3/21

6092 total posts

Name:

Re: They/Them

Posted by lululu

Posted by busymomonli

Posted by MrsWoods

Posted by mommy2devin

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by MrsWoods

I have multiple Gay friends and family member and they find these pronouns to be ridiculous and just a new trend. My kids do not use them. You are a she or a he regardless of what you do.



My DH has a transgender cousin that feels VERY strongly about which pronouns are used so it's not ridiculous and "trendy" to everyone.

At the end of the day, all anyone needs to do is be respectful of others. If *you* (collective) are asked by someone to refer to them a certain way, you do it whether you like it or not because it's the right thing to do. That's all this whole discussion boils down to.



Right decency and respect are hard for some people. But also, gay and transgender are two very different things.



I have two transgender first cousins, one lesbian sister, one gay uncle and a couple of other friends who are a variety of the above. All have children of their own and all do not require to be called they/them. When did they/them come out …It’s been around since the 14th century, however it’s not till 2017 did it become popular amongst the young generation so yes the TREND of using the terms started with the young generation.

And my children can do whatever they feel comfortable doing. So he/she is what you are called by them. Case closed



Most of these scenarios quoted above would not even warrant a they/them label. Being gay or transgender you (most of the time) still associate as your gender (i.e. a gay man, or a lesbian woman) and a transgender will often use the pronoun of what he/she is transitioning to.

They/them comes into play mostly with those who are gender fluid, non binary, or gender queer. My college age kids have taught me so much about all of this. And while I initially had hesitation like some of you have, I have learned to respect all the different types of gender roles. I don't think it is a trend, but kids learning more and being more of who they really feel inside. I think its wonderful that the Gen Z'ers are so open and caring to all different issues. My kids have been to LGBTQ rallies and BLM rallies and I couldn't be more proud of the whole generation.



Right - so it seems kind of silly for everyone to have to disclose their pronoun preferences when such a very small population is affected by this. So if you are nonbinary or gender fluid and someone calls you by a pronoun you don't want, then correct them. It's not offensive. People need to stop being so sensitive. I am all for calling people what they want but the world has gotten way too sensitive.




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Posted 2/17/22 9:32 AM
 

windyweather21
LIF Adult

Member since 3/21

6092 total posts

Name:

Re: They/Them

Posted by mommy2devin

Posted by lululu

Posted by busymomonli

Posted by MrsWoods

Posted by mommy2devin

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by MrsWoods

I have multiple Gay friends and family member and they find these pronouns to be ridiculous and just a new trend. My kids do not use them. You are a she or a he regardless of what you do.



My DH has a transgender cousin that feels VERY strongly about which pronouns are used so it's not ridiculous and "trendy" to everyone.

At the end of the day, all anyone needs to do is be respectful of others. If *you* (collective) are asked by someone to refer to them a certain way, you do it whether you like it or not because it's the right thing to do. That's all this whole discussion boils down to.



Right decency and respect are hard for some people. But also, gay and transgender are two very different things.



I have two transgender first cousins, one lesbian sister, one gay uncle and a couple of other friends who are a variety of the above. All have children of their own and all do not require to be called they/them. When did they/them come out …It’s been around since the 14th century, however it’s not till 2017 did it become popular amongst the young generation so yes the TREND of using the terms started with the young generation.

And my children can do whatever they feel comfortable doing. So he/she is what you are called by them. Case closed



Most of these scenarios quoted above would not even warrant a they/them label. Being gay or transgender you (most of the time) still associate as your gender (i.e. a gay man, or a lesbian woman) and a transgender will often use the pronoun of what he/she is transitioning to.

They/them comes into play mostly with those who are gender fluid, non binary, or gender queer. My college age kids have taught me so much about all of this. And while I initially had hesitation like some of you have, I have learned to respect all the different types of gender roles. I don't think it is a trend, but kids learning more and being more of who they really feel inside. I think its wonderful that the Gen Z'ers are so open and caring to all different issues. My kids have been to LGBTQ rallies and BLM rallies and I couldn't be more proud of the whole generation.



Right - so it seems kind of silly for everyone to have to disclose their pronoun preferences when such a very small population is affected by this. So if you are nonbinary or gender fluid and someone calls you by a pronoun you don't want, then correct them. It's not offensive. People need to stop being so sensitive. I am all for calling people what they want but the world has gotten way too sensitive.



I do agree with this for sure. If you say he/she and they ask you to use a different pronoun, use it. Out of respect for them! What I don't agree with is the notion that we should teach our children to continue to use he/she when specifically asked not to. That is rude, thoughtless, disrespectful, degrading and just plain ignorant.



"What I don't agree with is the notion that we should teach our children to continue to use he/she when specifically asked not to."

Has anyone on here actually said they would do that?

Posted 2/17/22 9:33 AM
 

MrsWoods
LIF Adult

Member since 4/12

1334 total posts

Name:

They/Them

Funny how the people on here saying their kids should be respectful of others are the ones who talk sh&t about others on here and elsewhere. Very interesting.

Posted 2/17/22 9:39 AM
 

lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

9120 total posts

Name:

Re: They/Them

Posted by windyweather21

Posted by mommy2devin

Posted by lululu

Posted by busymomonli

Posted by MrsWoods

Posted by mommy2devin

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by MrsWoods

I have multiple Gay friends and family member and they find these pronouns to be ridiculous and just a new trend. My kids do not use them. You are a she or a he regardless of what you do.



My DH has a transgender cousin that feels VERY strongly about which pronouns are used so it's not ridiculous and "trendy" to everyone.

At the end of the day, all anyone needs to do is be respectful of others. If *you* (collective) are asked by someone to refer to them a certain way, you do it whether you like it or not because it's the right thing to do. That's all this whole discussion boils down to.



Right decency and respect are hard for some people. But also, gay and transgender are two very different things.



I have two transgender first cousins, one lesbian sister, one gay uncle and a couple of other friends who are a variety of the above. All have children of their own and all do not require to be called they/them. When did they/them come out …It’s been around since the 14th century, however it’s not till 2017 did it become popular amongst the young generation so yes the TREND of using the terms started with the young generation.

And my children can do whatever they feel comfortable doing. So he/she is what you are called by them. Case closed



Most of these scenarios quoted above would not even warrant a they/them label. Being gay or transgender you (most of the time) still associate as your gender (i.e. a gay man, or a lesbian woman) and a transgender will often use the pronoun of what he/she is transitioning to.

They/them comes into play mostly with those who are gender fluid, non binary, or gender queer. My college age kids have taught me so much about all of this. And while I initially had hesitation like some of you have, I have learned to respect all the different types of gender roles. I don't think it is a trend, but kids learning more and being more of who they really feel inside. I think its wonderful that the Gen Z'ers are so open and caring to all different issues. My kids have been to LGBTQ rallies and BLM rallies and I couldn't be more proud of the whole generation.



Right - so it seems kind of silly for everyone to have to disclose their pronoun preferences when such a very small population is affected by this. So if you are nonbinary or gender fluid and someone calls you by a pronoun you don't want, then correct them. It's not offensive. People need to stop being so sensitive. I am all for calling people what they want but the world has gotten way too sensitive.



I do agree with this for sure. If you say he/she and they ask you to use a different pronoun, use it. Out of respect for them! What I don't agree with is the notion that we should teach our children to continue to use he/she when specifically asked not to. That is rude, thoughtless, disrespectful, degrading and just plain ignorant.



"What I don't agree with is the notion that we should teach our children to continue to use he/she when specifically asked not to."

Has anyone on here actually said they would do that?



I know I don't think anyone has. People have said they aren't going to have explicit conversations with their children about it.

And frankly if a teen or adult non binary person was offended that a child called them by the wrong pronoun then they really need to rethink things. I highly doubt anyone would get offended by something a child called them.

Posted 2/17/22 9:39 AM
 

lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

9120 total posts

Name:

Re: They/Them

Posted by MrsWoods

Funny how the people on here saying their kids should be respectful of others are the ones who talk sh&t about others on here and elsewhere. Very interesting.



Yes I think ultimately our kids will imitate our behavior so it's great if you tell them to behave in a certain way, but if you yourself can't restrain yourself from referring to people as stupid or an idiot, you can't really expect your kids not to do the same.

Posted 2/17/22 9:40 AM
 

MrsWoods
LIF Adult

Member since 4/12

1334 total posts

Name:

Re: They/Them

Posted by lululu

Posted by MrsWoods

Funny how the people on here saying their kids should be respectful of others are the ones who talk sh&t about others on here and elsewhere. Very interesting.



Yes I think ultimately our kids will imitate our behavior so it's great if you tell them to behave in a certain way, but if you yourself can't restrain yourself from referring to people as stupid or an idiot, you can't really expect your kids not to do the same.



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Posted 2/17/22 9:43 AM
 

windyweather21
LIF Adult

Member since 3/21

6092 total posts

Name:

Re: They/Them

Posted by MrsWoods

Funny how the people on here saying their kids should be respectful of others are the ones who talk sh&t about others on here and elsewhere. Very interesting.



Right? I teach my children to be kind and accepting and listen to others opinions BUT...it is ok for me to go around calling people idiots and other names.

How much of a hypocrite can you possible be and NOT see it?

Posted 2/17/22 9:46 AM
 

windyweather21
LIF Adult

Member since 3/21

6092 total posts

Name:

Re: They/Them

Posted by lululu

Posted by windyweather21

Posted by mommy2devin

Posted by lululu

Posted by busymomonli

Posted by MrsWoods

Posted by mommy2devin

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by MrsWoods

I have multiple Gay friends and family member and they find these pronouns to be ridiculous and just a new trend. My kids do not use them. You are a she or a he regardless of what you do.



My DH has a transgender cousin that feels VERY strongly about which pronouns are used so it's not ridiculous and "trendy" to everyone.

At the end of the day, all anyone needs to do is be respectful of others. If *you* (collective) are asked by someone to refer to them a certain way, you do it whether you like it or not because it's the right thing to do. That's all this whole discussion boils down to.



Right decency and respect are hard for some people. But also, gay and transgender are two very different things.



I have two transgender first cousins, one lesbian sister, one gay uncle and a couple of other friends who are a variety of the above. All have children of their own and all do not require to be called they/them. When did they/them come out …It’s been around since the 14th century, however it’s not till 2017 did it become popular amongst the young generation so yes the TREND of using the terms started with the young generation.

And my children can do whatever they feel comfortable doing. So he/she is what you are called by them. Case closed



Most of these scenarios quoted above would not even warrant a they/them label. Being gay or transgender you (most of the time) still associate as your gender (i.e. a gay man, or a lesbian woman) and a transgender will often use the pronoun of what he/she is transitioning to.

They/them comes into play mostly with those who are gender fluid, non binary, or gender queer. My college age kids have taught me so much about all of this. And while I initially had hesitation like some of you have, I have learned to respect all the different types of gender roles. I don't think it is a trend, but kids learning more and being more of who they really feel inside. I think its wonderful that the Gen Z'ers are so open and caring to all different issues. My kids have been to LGBTQ rallies and BLM rallies and I couldn't be more proud of the whole generation.



Right - so it seems kind of silly for everyone to have to disclose their pronoun preferences when such a very small population is affected by this. So if you are nonbinary or gender fluid and someone calls you by a pronoun you don't want, then correct them. It's not offensive. People need to stop being so sensitive. I am all for calling people what they want but the world has gotten way too sensitive.



I do agree with this for sure. If you say he/she and they ask you to use a different pronoun, use it. Out of respect for them! What I don't agree with is the notion that we should teach our children to continue to use he/she when specifically asked not to. That is rude, thoughtless, disrespectful, degrading and just plain ignorant.



"What I don't agree with is the notion that we should teach our children to continue to use he/she when specifically asked not to."

Has anyone on here actually said they would do that?



I know I don't think anyone has. People have said they aren't going to have explicit conversations with their children about it.

And frankly if a teen or adult non binary person was offended that a child called them by the wrong pronoun then they really need to rethink things. I highly doubt anyone would get offended by something a child called them.




They are all trying to call out others who don't agree with them for something they never said. Just so they can have an opportunity to call them a name. BUT....their children would NEVER dare do that and they are so proud of them for that. Makes sense, makes sense. Chat Icon

Posted 2/17/22 9:48 AM
 

Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it

Member since 5/05

30556 total posts

Name:
D

Re: They/Them

Posted by MrsWoods

Funny how the people on here saying their kids should be respectful of others are the ones who talk sh&t about others on here and elsewhere. Very interesting.




I was just about to say something. I know and then go on and call someone as idiot. Hypocrites.

I never realized there were 3 genders, he/she/they/them?

By saying they or them kid of sounds like you are putting them in another category. I dont understand?

Posted 2/17/22 9:59 AM
 

soontobemommyof2
My boys...my everything <3

Member since 4/15

3601 total posts

Name:

Re: They/Them

Posted by lululu

Posted by busymomonli

Posted by MrsWoods

Posted by mommy2devin

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by MrsWoods

I have multiple Gay friends and family member and they find these pronouns to be ridiculous and just a new trend. My kids do not use them. You are a she or a he regardless of what you do.



My DH has a transgender cousin that feels VERY strongly about which pronouns are used so it's not ridiculous and "trendy" to everyone.

At the end of the day, all anyone needs to do is be respectful of others. If *you* (collective) are asked by someone to refer to them a certain way, you do it whether you like it or not because it's the right thing to do. That's all this whole discussion boils down to.



Right decency and respect are hard for some people. But also, gay and transgender are two very different things.



I have two transgender first cousins, one lesbian sister, one gay uncle and a couple of other friends who are a variety of the above. All have children of their own and all do not require to be called they/them. When did they/them come out …It’s been around since the 14th century, however it’s not till 2017 did it become popular amongst the young generation so yes the TREND of using the terms started with the young generation.

And my children can do whatever they feel comfortable doing. So he/she is what you are called by them. Case closed



Most of these scenarios quoted above would not even warrant a they/them label. Being gay or transgender you (most of the time) still associate as your gender (i.e. a gay man, or a lesbian woman) and a transgender will often use the pronoun of what he/she is transitioning to.

They/them comes into play mostly with those who are gender fluid, non binary, or gender queer. My college age kids have taught me so much about all of this. And while I initially had hesitation like some of you have, I have learned to respect all the different types of gender roles. I don't think it is a trend, but kids learning more and being more of who they really feel inside. I think its wonderful that the Gen Z'ers are so open and caring to all different issues. My kids have been to LGBTQ rallies and BLM rallies and I couldn't be more proud of the whole generation.



Right - so it seems kind of silly for everyone to have to disclose their pronoun preferences when such a very small population is affected by this. So if you are nonbinary or gender fluid and someone calls you by a pronoun you don't want, then correct them. It's not offensive. People need to stop being so sensitive. I am all for calling people what they want but the world has gotten way too sensitive.



Could not agree more!

Posted 2/17/22 10:03 AM
 

soontobemommyof2
My boys...my everything <3

Member since 4/15

3601 total posts

Name:

Re: They/Them

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by windyweather21

Posted by Hofstra26

I think referring to the use of different pronouns as "trendy" minimizes the person and imparts a bad connotation. What is socially acceptable and what is considered the "norm" is ever shifting. That's a good thing, that's how progress is made.

I cannot begin to imagine the inner struggle of being born one way but then having to live life feeling like an imposter in your own body. None of us can. So the least any of us can do is be compassionate and open to changing our perspective for the inclusion of others. JMO.

ETA - To the above idiot who keeps harping on my DH's cousin, she's in her early 20s and yes, only came out as transgender fairly recently as a young teen.



Once again, your kindness and compassion shines through. The attributes you think everyone should have with every person no matter their sex or gender.
Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Again, what happened to actual names? Why are we referring to people as he/she/they/them?



What do names have to do with it? Everyone has a name, that's how everyone introduces themselves. Nothing has changed. But when someone is referring to a person, even when using their name, a pronoun needs to be included.

Example - "I was talking to Mark the other day, HE said he won't be at work on Friday".

Now, if Mark didn't identify with the pronoun "he" and asked that you say "they" it doesn't mean you don't refer to him by name. You just change the pronoun.

You don't seem to understand pronoun usage and I guess that's where your confusion lies. Maybe work on that because your comments on here have come across as very intolerant and ignorant.



Actually some non-binary people do prefer for their names to be used only, no pronouns. So they wouldn’t go by he, she, or they.

Message edited 2/17/2022 10:18:43 AM.

Posted 2/17/22 10:17 AM
 

mxoxom2004
LIF Infant

Member since 1/21

99 total posts

Name:

Re: They/Them

Posted by mommy2devin

Posted by lululu

Posted by busymomonli

Posted by MrsWoods

Posted by mommy2devin

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by MrsWoods

I have multiple Gay friends and family member and they find these pronouns to be ridiculous and just a new trend. My kids do not use them. You are a she or a he regardless of what you do.



My DH has a transgender cousin that feels VERY strongly about which pronouns are used so it's not ridiculous and "trendy" to everyone.

At the end of the day, all anyone needs to do is be respectful of others. If *you* (collective) are asked by someone to refer to them a certain way, you do it whether you like it or not because it's the right thing to do. That's all this whole discussion boils down to.



Right decency and respect are hard for some people. But also, gay and transgender are two very different things.



I have two transgender first cousins, one lesbian sister, one gay uncle and a couple of other friends who are a variety of the above. All have children of their own and all do not require to be called they/them. When did they/them come out …It’s been around since the 14th century, however it’s not till 2017 did it become popular amongst the young generation so yes the TREND of using the terms started with the young generation.

And my children can do whatever they feel comfortable doing. So he/she is what you are called by them. Case closed



Most of these scenarios quoted above would not even warrant a they/them label. Being gay or transgender you (most of the time) still associate as your gender (i.e. a gay man, or a lesbian woman) and a transgender will often use the pronoun of what he/she is transitioning to.

They/them comes into play mostly with those who are gender fluid, non binary, or gender queer. My college age kids have taught me so much about all of this. And while I initially had hesitation like some of you have, I have learned to respect all the different types of gender roles. I don't think it is a trend, but kids learning more and being more of who they really feel inside. I think its wonderful that the Gen Z'ers are so open and caring to all different issues. My kids have been to LGBTQ rallies and BLM rallies and I couldn't be more proud of the whole generation.



Right - so it seems kind of silly for everyone to have to disclose their pronoun preferences when such a very small population is affected by this. So if you are nonbinary or gender fluid and someone calls you by a pronoun you don't want, then correct them. It's not offensive. People need to stop being so sensitive. I am all for calling people what they want but the world has gotten way too sensitive.



I do agree with this for sure. If you say he/she and they ask you to use a different pronoun, use it. Out of respect for them! What I don't agree with is the notion that we should teach our children to continue to use he/she when specifically asked not to. That is rude, thoughtless, disrespectful, degrading and just plain ignorant.



Yes, gotta love some of the people on LIF.

Kindness costs nothing but I guess that is too high a price to pay for some people.

1.2 million LGBTQ people in the US identify as non-binary and use the pronouns they/them. Perhaps to some this seems like a "very, very" small number, an example of "Woke" culture or just the diabolical work of the Liberals but perhaps, just perhaps, maybe this number is small because of some of the attitudes expressed on this thread are indicative of how non-binary people are viewed and treated in this country.

Maybe if people were actually compassionate instead of claiming to be, more people would feel SAFE expressing their feeling on their gender identity.

94% of non-binary adults have considered suicide
39% attempted suicide
55% report being assaulted as adults
53% were bullied
82% faced emotional abuse as a child
57% live below 200% of the Federal Poverty Level

https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/publications/nonbinary-lgbtq-adults-us/

Posted 2/17/22 10:18 AM
 

Hofstra26
Love to Bake!

Member since 7/06

27915 total posts

Name:

Re: They/Them

Posted by soontobemommyof2

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by windyweather21

Posted by Hofstra26

I think referring to the use of different pronouns as "trendy" minimizes the person and imparts a bad connotation. What is socially acceptable and what is considered the "norm" is ever shifting. That's a good thing, that's how progress is made.

I cannot begin to imagine the inner struggle of being born one way but then having to live life feeling like an imposter in your own body. None of us can. So the least any of us can do is be compassionate and open to changing our perspective for the inclusion of others. JMO.

ETA - To the above idiot who keeps harping on my DH's cousin, she's in her early 20s and yes, only came out as transgender fairly recently as a young teen.



Once again, your kindness and compassion shines through. The attributes you think everyone should have with every person no matter their sex or gender.
Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Again, what happened to actual names? Why are we referring to people as he/she/they/them?



What do names have to do with it? Everyone has a name, that's how everyone introduces themselves. Nothing has changed. But when someone is referring to a person, even when using their name, a pronoun needs to be included.

Example - "I was talking to Mark the other day, HE said he won't be at work on Friday".

Now, if Mark didn't identify with the pronoun "he" and asked that you say "they" it doesn't mean you don't refer to him by name. You just change the pronoun.

You don't seem to understand pronoun usage and I guess that's where your confusion lies. Maybe work on that because your comments on here have come across as very intolerant and ignorant.



Actually some non-binary people do prefer for their names to be used only, no pronouns. So they wouldn’t go by he/she/they.



And again, as I've said many times, refer to people however they ask. If you don't know, you can be faulted. If you're explicitly asked to refer to a person in a certain manner, whether that be by name or pronoun, then do it.

Posted 2/17/22 10:19 AM
 

jellybean78
:)

Member since 8/06

13087 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: They/Them

Posted by lululu

Posted by MrsWoods

Funny how the people on here saying their kids should be respectful of others are the ones who talk sh&t about others on here and elsewhere. Very interesting.



Yes I think ultimately our kids will imitate our behavior so it's great if you tell them to behave in a certain way, but if you yourself can't restrain yourself from referring to people as stupid or an idiot, you can't really expect your kids not to do the same.



Exactly!!

Posted 2/17/22 10:20 AM
 

soontobemommyof2
My boys...my everything <3

Member since 4/15

3601 total posts

Name:

Re: They/Them

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by soontobemommyof2

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by windyweather21

Posted by Hofstra26

I think referring to the use of different pronouns as "trendy" minimizes the person and imparts a bad connotation. What is socially acceptable and what is considered the "norm" is ever shifting. That's a good thing, that's how progress is made.

I cannot begin to imagine the inner struggle of being born one way but then having to live life feeling like an imposter in your own body. None of us can. So the least any of us can do is be compassionate and open to changing our perspective for the inclusion of others. JMO.

ETA - To the above idiot who keeps harping on my DH's cousin, she's in her early 20s and yes, only came out as transgender fairly recently as a young teen.



Once again, your kindness and compassion shines through. The attributes you think everyone should have with every person no matter their sex or gender.
Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Again, what happened to actual names? Why are we referring to people as he/she/they/them?



What do names have to do with it? Everyone has a name, that's how everyone introduces themselves. Nothing has changed. But when someone is referring to a person, even when using their name, a pronoun needs to be included.

Example - "I was talking to Mark the other day, HE said he won't be at work on Friday".

Now, if Mark didn't identify with the pronoun "he" and asked that you say "they" it doesn't mean you don't refer to him by name. You just change the pronoun.

You don't seem to understand pronoun usage and I guess that's where your confusion lies. Maybe work on that because your comments on here have come across as very intolerant and ignorant.



Actually some non-binary people do prefer for their names to be used only, no pronouns. So they wouldn’t go by he/she/they.



And again, as I've said many times, refer to people however they ask. If you don't know, you can be faulted. If you're explicitly asked to refer to a person in a certain manner, whether that be by name or pronoun, then do it.



Right and I think that’s what everyone has said in here.

Posted 2/17/22 10:23 AM
 

jellybean78
:)

Member since 8/06

13087 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: They/Them

Posted by soontobemommyof2

Posted by lululu

Posted by busymomonli

Posted by MrsWoods

Posted by mommy2devin

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by MrsWoods

I have multiple Gay friends and family member and they find these pronouns to be ridiculous and just a new trend. My kids do not use them. You are a she or a he regardless of what you do.



My DH has a transgender cousin that feels VERY strongly about which pronouns are used so it's not ridiculous and "trendy" to everyone.

At the end of the day, all anyone needs to do is be respectful of others. If *you* (collective) are asked by someone to refer to them a certain way, you do it whether you like it or not because it's the right thing to do. That's all this whole discussion boils down to.



Right decency and respect are hard for some people. But also, gay and transgender are two very different things.



I have two transgender first cousins, one lesbian sister, one gay uncle and a couple of other friends who are a variety of the above. All have children of their own and all do not require to be called they/them. When did they/them come out …It’s been around since the 14th century, however it’s not till 2017 did it become popular amongst the young generation so yes the TREND of using the terms started with the young generation.

And my children can do whatever they feel comfortable doing. So he/she is what you are called by them. Case closed



Most of these scenarios quoted above would not even warrant a they/them label. Being gay or transgender you (most of the time) still associate as your gender (i.e. a gay man, or a lesbian woman) and a transgender will often use the pronoun of what he/she is transitioning to.

They/them comes into play mostly with those who are gender fluid, non binary, or gender queer. My college age kids have taught me so much about all of this. And while I initially had hesitation like some of you have, I have learned to respect all the different types of gender roles. I don't think it is a trend, but kids learning more and being more of who they really feel inside. I think its wonderful that the Gen Z'ers are so open and caring to all different issues. My kids have been to LGBTQ rallies and BLM rallies and I couldn't be more proud of the whole generation.



Right - so it seems kind of silly for everyone to have to disclose their pronoun preferences when such a very small population is affected by this. So if you are nonbinary or gender fluid and someone calls you by a pronoun you don't want, then correct them. It's not offensive. People need to stop being so sensitive. I am all for calling people what they want but the world has gotten way too sensitive.



Could not agree more!



Exactly..the vast majority of people, Including the LGBQT community do not care about pronouns. The ones that do can speak up but for children to have to tippy toe about something that does not offend most people is ridiculous.

Posted 2/17/22 10:23 AM
 

soontobemommyof2
My boys...my everything <3

Member since 4/15

3601 total posts

Name:

Re: They/Them

Posted by jellybean78

Posted by lululu

Posted by MrsWoods

Funny how the people on here saying their kids should be respectful of others are the ones who talk sh&t about others on here and elsewhere. Very interesting.



Yes I think ultimately our kids will imitate our behavior so it's great if you tell them to behave in a certain way, but if you yourself can't restrain yourself from referring to people as stupid or an idiot, you can't really expect your kids not to do the same.



Exactly!!



“Selective” respect. Chat Icon

Posted 2/17/22 10:25 AM
 
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