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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9508 total posts
Name:
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Doormat
Does anyone else feel like they are a living doormat? I feel like I am CONSTANTLY doing things for others and with the exception of my husband and a few close friends there is no give and take. It's all me giving giving giving. Even with my kids' friends. My one daughter's friends are always at my house. One of my daughter's friends texts me every.single.day asking to come over. That's right, she texts me directly and begs to come over. She's 9. But in addition to that I am constantly doing things for extended family and for a couple of friends (although with the friends it is more of a give and take). I feel like I never ask anyone for help because I don't want to put anyone else out, and I never say no to anyone. I am getting so burnt out. This weekend I have to fly down to Florida to get the condo that we purchased for our parents ready for them to use. Yes, I will have a little down time, but I have put so much time and effort into this condo that I will maybe use one weekend a year. In addition, I am always responsible for planning these big extended family trips that both my and my husband's parents guilt us into going on. I do love travel planning but I hate having to take responsibility for all the planning that goes into this group travel. I'm so over it. Okay, vent over. I know this is the stage of life where you are taking care of kids and parents simultaneously. It's just so draining. I wish someone took care of me as well as I take care of everyone else!
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Posted 10/19/21 9:05 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
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Re: Doormat
Yes!!! Sometimes I feel like this. I am the planner for almost everything. Friends, family. It gets tiring. I just want to show up like they do.
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| Posted 10/19/21 10:04 PM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21536 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Doormat
Yep, I feel you. There's one person in particular that I literally cannot do enough for. I don't know how they don't see how taxing it is on me but...I keep doing it with a grin.
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| Posted 10/19/21 10:41 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19453 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Doormat
You need to learn to say No. it is a complete sentence. The 9 year old can beg all they want. Limit it to twice a week at your house and tell the other parent you can drop your kid off if they want to play. You need to make yourself a priority, no one is going to do it if you don’t.
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| Posted 10/19/21 10:59 PM |
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soontobemommyof2
My boys...my everything <3
Member since 4/15 3635 total posts
Name:
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Re: Doormat
Posted by LSP2005
You need to learn to say No. it is a complete sentence. The 9 year old can beg all they want. Limit it to twice a week at your house and tell the other parent you can drop your kid off if they want to play. You need to make yourself a priority, no one is going to do it if you don’t.
I agree. It’s imperative u set boundaries, like now. U said u’re getting burnt out, well it’ll just keep getting worse. I’m the same way as u, always feeling like I’m putting everyone else first but I know that if I don’t stop that, it’ll only gonna cause problems to me.
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| Posted 10/19/21 11:16 PM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: Doormat
I was. I put a stop to it. Now I’m “being selfish”
I wear my new selfish crown with honor.
Start saying no. Without explanation.
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| Posted 10/20/21 2:39 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9508 total posts
Name:
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Re: Doormat
Posted by soontobemommyof2
Posted by LSP2005
You need to learn to say No. it is a complete sentence. The 9 year old can beg all they want. Limit it to twice a week at your house and tell the other parent you can drop your kid off if they want to play. You need to make yourself a priority, no one is going to do it if you don’t.
I agree. It’s imperative u set boundaries, like now. U said u’re getting burnt out, well it’ll just keep getting worse. I’m the same way as u, always feeling like I’m putting everyone else first but I know that if I don’t stop that, it’ll only gonna cause problems to me.
I know, I actually find myself completely incapable. I told my husband I think I need therapy to learn how to say no and set boundaries. Or I need a self help book. Something!!!
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| Posted 10/20/21 12:21 PM |
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Doormat
I’m similar and I hate it! It is sooo hard to just say “no”. I never want to hurt anyone’s feelings but people don’t care about my feelings the way I care about theirs, with the exception of my wonderful husband and my best girlfriend.
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| Posted 10/20/21 1:49 PM |
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tray831
Dee-licious!
Member since 3/06 5355 total posts
Name:
His Baby
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Re: Doormat
I feel when you are the one that has been planning stuff for people for so long; others don't give it a second thought; because it's been done for them for so many years.
As far as your daughter's friend, she is only 9 so I am thinking she knows no boundaries just yet. Most especially since you haven't said No.
But you should start practicing No every now and then. It will help with your sanity.....KWIM?
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| Posted 10/20/21 2:17 PM |
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