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JME78
LIF Adult
Member since 11/09 3672 total posts
Name:
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If you asked someone to hang out...
I would let him follow up with an idea. He knows you are free - you seem to want someone who has initiative (I did too!) - I would let him demonstrate if he has it.
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Posted 1/14/21 4:00 PM  |
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Funkybutt
LIF Adult
Member since 4/15 3049 total posts
Name:
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If you asked someone to hang out...
If you said you're kid free and asked him to hang out, then he needs to be the next one to respond with a plan. Don't bother asking him again - especially since he liked the comment and you know he read it. If he doesn't reply, it's more than likely him just chatting with a bunch of women to see which one clicks and you're worth more than being the second choice.
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| Posted 1/14/21 5:36 PM |
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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name:
Pomegranate5
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
Based on my extensive experience with a group of friends that is really big into the liking, loving, emphasizing text messages, IMO, "liking" your text was a way of keeping his options open. Maybe it will happen, maybe it won't. But if someone really wants to hang out they will lock in the plans.
If he hasn't followed up yet (it's now Friday), I think you have your answer..
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| Posted 1/14/21 5:58 PM |
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soontobemommyof2
My boys...my everything <3
Member since 4/15 3635 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
Posted by Funkybutt
If you said you're kid free and asked him to hang out, then he needs to be the next one to respond with a plan.
Really? I feel that if someone asks me to hang out it’s because they already have something in mind, unless the person says something like...let’s hang out! What should we do? Or something like that. But either way, it can be perceived in so many different ways.
Hopefulmama- I’m now wondering what his actual intentions were, keep us updated on how it goes!
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| Posted 1/14/21 5:58 PM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
I think it's obvious that texting isn't working 100%, so you should call him and talk about plans.
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| Posted 1/14/21 6:01 PM |
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Mill188
LIF Adult
Member since 3/09 3072 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
I tend to use the thumbs up emoji a lot.
If someone texted me that, and I responded with a thumbs up, I'd expect the original texter to either text me with a "how about ______ ?"
I feel like since you asked, he might be thinking you should take the lead.
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| Posted 1/14/21 6:13 PM |
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Funkybutt
LIF Adult
Member since 4/15 3049 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
Posted by soontobemommyof2
Posted by Funkybutt
If you said you're kid free and asked him to hang out, then he needs to be the next one to respond with a plan.
Really? I feel that if someone asks me to hang out it’s because they already have something in mind, unless the person says something like...let’s hang out! What should we do? Or something like that. But either way, it can be perceived in so many different ways.
You're right - I wouldn't necessarily think he would need to come back with a plan, per se, but he should at least respond with "I'm available that day. What do you have in mind?"
A "like" is too passive and doesn't mean he's available - just that he read it and understands. But for her to come back again and say "So - are you available?" doesn't sit well with me b/c if he's interested she wouldn't have to ping him to remind him.
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| Posted 1/14/21 9:21 PM |
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Michmouse
LIF Adult
Member since 11/07 1260 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
My mother always told me "You never have to wonder how someone feels about you. If they aren't asking to see you, they don't want to see you." Someone who is into you will pin you down - in more ways than one!
I think women (including myself) overthink everything. This guy might be waiting for you to respond - he liked the inquiry- so you can wait and see or just reach out.
I hope it works out and that he is worthy of you! Love yourself and you will never settle.
My 2 cents- which honestly I have no business giving....but I think my Mom's advice is on point. Good luck out there.
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| Posted 1/14/21 11:09 PM |
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hmm
Sweet
Member since 1/14 7983 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
Posted by GoldenRod
As a guy who hasn't dated since way before cell phones and texting, take this as you see fit... 
I think that liking a text is the equivalent of texting "ok". I know a bunch of people that I text that like my texts to indicate yes. I personally don't like it, but that's how they use their phones.
oh see I disagree. To me mature adults should give worded answers. thumbs up or like to me is a dis, not only non committal but leave the other person trying to play the guessing game.
I for one am not into games :(
edited for spelling
Message edited 1/17/2021 10:09:31 PM.
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| Posted 1/17/21 8:46 PM |
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hmm
Sweet
Member since 1/14 7983 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
Posted by GoldenRod
I think it's obvious that texting isn't working 100%, so you should call him and talk about plans.
agree with 100%, I believe far too many people prefer to text and not have a real conversation, not just in the dating scene but in every way of life
Message edited 1/17/2021 8:48:05 PM.
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| Posted 1/17/21 8:47 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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If you asked someone to hang out...
So.... what happened?
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| Posted 1/17/21 9:55 PM |
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MC09
arrrghhh!!!!
Member since 2/09 5674 total posts
Name:
Me speaks pirate!
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
If you like this guy otherwise cut him a little slack. You said he's newly single after 30 years. That's a long time and dating has changed so much even in just the last 10-15 years let alone 30. It's so much more complicated with divorces and kids and custody battles and coordinating kid schedules with both exes involved than the first time you were on the market and free from such responsibilities and able to come and go as you pleased.
In the future be more direct with what you want. "Hey, I'm kid free this weekend. Do you want to meet at this place and time? Let me know what works for you" If you are direct with exactly what you want then you can easily tell if the guy is being weird or uninvolved or non committal, making no effort, etc. without having to analyze the situation. And you are then free to move on. And if anything ever seems unclear (did that "like" mean yes??) just ask directly "is that a yes?" Be direct with your expectations.
At a 'mature' age, who has time to waste, to play games, to overanalyze everything? I just think back to years ago when I was single (prehistoric times before dating apps and social media, but texting existed) and all the time I wasted with idiots who played games and asking my friends "omg what does this mean? What did he mean when he said/did this??" and I can't picture doing all that or caring to do all that in my 40s.
IMO I think you should've been the one to follow up with the plan since you texted him first with the hang out request. He probably is thinking "I liked her text and never heard back from her what she wanted to do."
Eta: maybe he is keeping his options open (as he should be) by being so passive, but so should she be keeping her options open. Don't pin all your hopes on any one person unless you know for a fact it's serious, which requires more than a 'like'.
Message edited 1/18/2021 3:08:59 PM.
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| Posted 1/18/21 2:45 PM |
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MC09
arrrghhh!!!!
Member since 2/09 5674 total posts
Name:
Me speaks pirate!
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
Posted by soontobemommyof2
Posted by Funkybutt
If you said you're kid free and asked him to hang out, then he needs to be the next one to respond with a plan.
Really? I feel that if someone asks me to hang out it’s because they already have something in mind, unless the person says something like...let’s hang out! What should we do? Or something like that. But either way, it can be perceived in so many different ways.
Hopefulmama- I’m now wondering what his actual intentions were, keep us updated on how it goes!
I agree. Things may be really different now, but OP left her text completely open ended. "I'm free IF you want to hang out" didn't even ask "do you want to hang out?" or "let me know what you want to do"... just "if"... Seems a little vague in itself. That's why I say be more direct and you can easily weed out whether he's an ashole loser right away without needing to analyze anything.
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| Posted 1/18/21 2:52 PM |
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Christine2
LIF Adult
Member since 2/09 1216 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
You don't have anything to lose by asking if he wants to meet up on a specific date and/or time. He's already "liked" your suggestion of hanging out.
I think we are all WAY overthinking this.
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| Posted 1/21/21 3:22 AM |
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RainyDay
LIF Adult
Member since 6/15 3986 total posts
Name:
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If you asked someone to hang out...
Did he ever respond?
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| Posted 1/21/21 10:19 PM |
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Hopefulmama
LIF Adult
Member since 4/14 1014 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
Posted by RainyDay
Did he ever respond?
Yeah...he wrote the next morning and talked about something else. I asked “oh hey was that a yes for Sunday?” He said it was. I thought to myself -oh, I was worried for nothing!
Over the weekend he asked if we could do Monday instead bc of his kids’s schedule. I said sure. He came here, brought lunch with him, we ate, watched tv, fooled around, then did more than fool around, he gave me a back rub, we watched more TV. All seemed well. Didn’t hear from him the next day (tues) which was odd - we have been in touch every day since we met. I texted him the next day (wed). He responded but it was vague and hours later and I was in bed. I didn’t respond bc I got a weird vibe and thought maybe he needed a little space or something and I didn’t want to seem clingy. . I wrote him this morning just an innocent hey how’s your Friday going? And haven’t heard back. Wish I was kidding.
If any of you remember my ex boyfriend posts...seemed like I picked another winner.
Message edited 1/21/2021 11:40:49 PM.
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| Posted 1/21/21 11:39 PM |
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
Posted by Hopefulmama
Posted by RainyDay
Did he ever respond?
Yeah...he wrote the morning and talked about something else. I asked “oh hey was that a yes for Sunday?” He said it was.
Over the weekend he asked if we could do Monday instead bc of his kids’s schedule. I said sure. He came here, brought lunch with him, we ate, watched tv, fooled around, then did more than fool around, he gave me a back rub, we watched more TV. All seemed well. Didn’t hear from him the next day which was odd - we have been in touch every day since we met. I texted him the next day. He responded but it was vague and hours later and I was in bed. I didn’t respond bc I got a weird vibe and thought maybe he needed a little space or something and I didn’t want to seem clingy. . I wrote him this morning just an innocent hey how’s your day doing? And haven’t heard back. Wish I was kidding. If any of you remember my ex boyfriend posts...seemed like I picked another winner.
Oh no so sorry :(
I have no clue what is wrong with men. Know so many friends who have so many problems with dates.
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| Posted 1/21/21 11:41 PM |
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If you asked someone to hang out...updated on page 2
Let them chase you! It will happen with the right guy. Unless you are just looking for mr. Right now
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| Posted 1/21/21 11:44 PM |
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...updated on page 2
Posted by Anotherplease
Let them chase you! It will happen with the right guy. Unless you are just looking for mr. Right now
Yep I tell all my friends when you are not looking he will come along. That is how it happened with hubby and I. I wasn’t going to bother looking anymore and he came out of the military and really wasn’t looking for a girlfriend.
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| Posted 1/21/21 11:46 PM |
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Hopefulmama
LIF Adult
Member since 4/14 1014 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...updated on page 2
Posted by Anotherplease
Let them chase you! It will happen with the right guy. Unless you are just looking for mr. Right now
I dunno. He brought me flowers on our first date, and made me a lovely dinner on our second date. All I did was mention that I had an unexpected free day. He came to my home - two bridges away! - and brought lunch with him. Felt like I was being “chased” enough I guess.
Didn’t realize 52 year old men still ghost women after sex.
I’m a nice person. It’s hard to objectively evaluate my appearance but people tell me I’m pretty. I certainly invest enough in maintenance. and more importantly I strive to always be a courteous, appreciative, interesting date. Afterward I am not needy or clingy.
I work FT and am a full time care giver to my disabled child who has autism and cerebral palsy. I like to date for an escape. But I have the worst luck. This guy did everything right and seemed promising. Here I go again...
Message edited 1/22/2021 3:21:35 AM.
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| Posted 1/22/21 12:03 AM |
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If you asked someone to hang out...updated on page 2
Who knows? Sounds like you are dodging a bullet though. I give you credit for putting yourself out there though.
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| Posted 1/22/21 12:08 PM |
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soontobemommyof2
My boys...my everything <3
Member since 4/15 3635 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...updated on page 2
Posted by Hopefulmama
Posted by RainyDay
Did he ever respond?
Yeah...he wrote the next morning and talked about something else. I asked “oh hey was that a yes for Sunday?” He said it was. I thought to myself -oh, I was worried for nothing!
Over the weekend he asked if we could do Monday instead bc of his kids’s schedule. I said sure. He came here, brought lunch with him, we ate, watched tv, fooled around, then did more than fool around, he gave me a back rub, we watched more TV. All seemed well. Didn’t hear from him the next day (tues) which was odd - we have been in touch every day since we met. I texted him the next day (wed). He responded but it was vague and hours later and I was in bed. I didn’t respond bc I got a weird vibe and thought maybe he needed a little space or something and I didn’t want to seem clingy. . I wrote him this morning just an innocent hey how’s your Friday going? And haven’t heard back. Wish I was kidding.
If any of you remember my ex boyfriend posts...seemed like I picked another winner.
I was gonna say I was glad everything worked out while reading ur update and then I got to the part that he wasn’t responding  . I’d not give much thought or energy to him and I’d continue exploring other options. If it happens with him, cool but if not, it’s his lose not urs.
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| Posted 1/22/21 1:10 AM |
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soontobemommyof2
My boys...my everything <3
Member since 4/15 3635 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...updated on page 2
Posted by valentinesbaby48
Posted by Anotherplease
Let them chase you! It will happen with the right guy. Unless you are just looking for mr. Right now
Yep I tell all my friends when you are not looking he will come along. That is how it happened with hubby and I. I wasn’t going to bother looking anymore and he came out of the military and really wasn’t looking for a girlfriend.
True! Sometimes when we really, really want something, it’s when we least are gonna have it. Def date but don’t put all ur energy into it. 
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| Posted 1/22/21 1:15 AM |
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RainyDay
LIF Adult
Member since 6/15 3986 total posts
Name:
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If you asked someone to hang out...updated on page 2
I am really sorry. Guys are such Aholes.
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| Posted 1/22/21 9:44 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...updated on page 2
What? What the fuk is wrong with people? He's not a 21 year old kid either.
Omg, I'm so sorry.
It has to be so frustrating and disheartening.
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| Posted 1/23/21 12:49 PM |
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