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Hopefulmama
LIF Adult
Member since 4/14 1014 total posts
Name:
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If you asked someone to hang out...updated on page 2
If you asked someone to hang out and they “liked” your response....wtf does that mean?
Background: I have been on 3 dates with someone who I like and who by all accounts appears very gentlemanly and nice but has some strange and frustrating texting habits that I have attributed to him being newly single after 30 years.
This is my weekend with my children, which he knows, but it turns out my ex will have them Sunday-Monday for MLK. My new friend wouldn’t know this, so couldn’t obviously ask me out. So I took initiative and wrote:
Hey! I am kid free this Sunday if you want to hang out.
He “liked” it in response. Is that a yes? lol. Is it a douchey noncommittal answer? I can’t decide if I should just not reply and see what he does or if I should reply and ask for clarity. But I don’t know how to do that without sounding like a ***** or seeming desperate.
Message edited 1/21/2021 11:42:57 PM.
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Posted 1/14/21 7:58 AM  |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7612 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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If you asked someone to hang out...
I would write back a date/time to meet. My family is very into using the “like” features i text messages. I would think it’s just something he does.
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| Posted 1/14/21 9:37 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
Some people just have weird texting habits. I would just respond with, ok great, let me know what time works for you. Or say something like, great, I was thinking we could grab dinner at 6 or something.
Message edited 1/14/2021 12:00:13 PM.
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| Posted 1/14/21 11:33 AM |
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RainyDay
LIF Adult
Member since 6/15 3986 total posts
Name:
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If you asked someone to hang out...
If there is something specific you would like to do I would just straight out ask him if he was interested and throw out a time......."hey I was thinking of going to starbucks at 3 on Sunday, do you want to join?" If he does that "like" thing again I would just flat out ask, "does that mean yes?"
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| Posted 1/14/21 11:46 AM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
I would just reconfirm and say what other have said. My sister does this and at first I didn’t know if that meant she liked the idea or yes. LoL. It drove me crazy, apparently for her it was meant to say yes.
She is the type that is doing 1 million things at once and would lose her head if it wasn’t attached. So that’s a fast reply for her. Mind you, I’m the one that showed her how to do it. One of my biggest regrets. 
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| Posted 1/14/21 12:40 PM |
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Hopefulmama
LIF Adult
Member since 4/14 1014 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
Thanks! My friends seem to think it’s kind of a blow off...intentionally vague. I’m irritated. He asked me out twice and got actual answers. I get this.... he has been texting me a lot but wasn’t suggesting hanging out so I was wondering what the deal was. The benefit of just putting it out there and asking him was that I would at least have an answer...yes or no, or no response which is a no....and yet all I got is more ambiguity. I’m so annoyed.
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| Posted 1/14/21 1:02 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
Obviously I haven’t dated in years. But we are at age where we don’t have time to waste. Just text him, what’s up? Is that a yes? If so when do you want to meet up. Something along those lines!
If he replies then great if not, then he can go scratch and you didn’t waste time wondering. I would just be blunt!
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| Posted 1/14/21 1:04 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
Yes, just reply and say, so was that a yes? I want to nail down my schedule for the weekend.
Something like that.
Who has time to play games right?
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| Posted 1/14/21 1:09 PM |
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soontobemommyof2
My boys...my everything <3
Member since 4/15 3635 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
Posted by Hopefulmama
Thanks! My friends seem to think it’s kind of a blow off...intentionally vague. I’m irritated. He asked me out twice and got actual answers. I get this.... he has been texting me a lot but wasn’t suggesting hanging out so I was wondering what the deal was. The benefit of just putting it out there and asking him was that I would at least have an answer...yes or no, or no response which is a no....and yet all I got is more ambiguity. I’m so annoyed.
Even if he meant it as a ‘I like the idea’, I’d take it as he’s open to the idea of going out. Do u have specific plans? I’d just text him the details. If he really didn’t want to hang out, I think he’d have just not replied anything.
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| Posted 1/14/21 1:10 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
Posted by soontobemommyof2
Posted by Hopefulmama
Thanks! My friends seem to think it’s kind of a blow off...intentionally vague. I’m irritated. He asked me out twice and got actual answers. I get this.... he has been texting me a lot but wasn’t suggesting hanging out so I was wondering what the deal was. The benefit of just putting it out there and asking him was that I would at least have an answer...yes or no, or no response which is a no....and yet all I got is more ambiguity. I’m so annoyed.
Even if he meant it as a ‘I like the idea’, I’d take it as he’s open to the idea of going out. Do u have specific plans? I’d just text him the details. If he really didn’t want to hang out, I think he’d have just not replied anything.
Yes or he'd have said, sorry I can't this weekend, I'm busy, etc
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| Posted 1/14/21 1:21 PM |
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KateBennetReel
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/15 555 total posts
Name:
Keep
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
yeah, if he didn't want to, he wouldn't have liked it. someimes i like texts as a positive acknowledgement to an open ended plan.
i agree, make a plan and see what the response is to that.
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| Posted 1/14/21 1:36 PM |
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MrsDrMatt
Live and RUN like a Ninja!
Member since 5/06 3104 total posts
Name:
MrsDrMatt
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
Posted by Hopefulmama
Thanks! My friends seem to think it’s kind of a blow off...intentionally vague. I’m irritated. He asked me out twice and got actual answers. I get this.... he has been texting me a lot but wasn’t suggesting hanging out so I was wondering what the deal was. The benefit of just putting it out there and asking him was that I would at least have an answer...yes or no, or no response which is a no....and yet all I got is more ambiguity. I’m so annoyed.
In my opinion, if he has been texting a lot without asking to hanging out I think he is "fielding other offers" but wants to keep his option with you. I have not dated in many years but if a man wants to see you, he will initiate plans no beating around the bush. At least that was the type of man I was looking for (and got him). If you need the same, he may not be the man for you.
You are awesome and have a huge heart that is open to love. Not everyone has that wonderful quality.
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| Posted 1/14/21 1:44 PM |
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BFNY516
LIF Adult
Member since 7/20 1187 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
Posted by MrsDrMatt
Posted by Hopefulmama
Thanks! My friends seem to think it’s kind of a blow off...intentionally vague. I’m irritated. He asked me out twice and got actual answers. I get this.... he has been texting me a lot but wasn’t suggesting hanging out so I was wondering what the deal was. The benefit of just putting it out there and asking him was that I would at least have an answer...yes or no, or no response which is a no....and yet all I got is more ambiguity. I’m so annoyed.
In my opinion, if he has been texting a lot without asking to hanging out I think he is "fielding other offers" but wants to keep his option with you. I have not dated in many years but if a man wants to see you, he will initiate plans no beating around the bush. At least that was the type of man I was looking for (and got him). If you need the same, he may not be the man for you.
You are awesome and have a huge heart that is open to love. Not everyone has that wonderful quality.
 I agree with this.
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| Posted 1/14/21 1:46 PM |
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KateBennetReel
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/15 555 total posts
Name:
Keep
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
Posted by MrsDrMatt
Posted by Hopefulmama
Thanks! My friends seem to think it’s kind of a blow off...intentionally vague. I’m irritated. He asked me out twice and got actual answers. I get this.... he has been texting me a lot but wasn’t suggesting hanging out so I was wondering what the deal was. The benefit of just putting it out there and asking him was that I would at least have an answer...yes or no, or no response which is a no....and yet all I got is more ambiguity. I’m so annoyed.
In my opinion, if he has been texting a lot without asking to hanging out I think he is "fielding other offers" but wants to keep his option with you. I have not dated in many years but if a man wants to see you, he will initiate plans no beating around the bush. At least that was the type of man I was looking for (and got him). If you need the same, he may not be the man for you.
You are awesome and have a huge heart that is open to love. Not everyone has that wonderful quality.
Oof, yeah I was gunna mention the initiating part, and you articulated it perfectly.
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| Posted 1/14/21 1:47 PM |
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Hopefulmama
LIF Adult
Member since 4/14 1014 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
Yes I am inclined to believe this too except since I am only free every other weekend I wondered if it was just simply too early to make plans for next weekend. Plus his kids have sports etc so it’s possible he isn’t available. I think that generalization, while often true, works better when people are young and unencumbered. But that’s why I put it out there - for a definitive answer, either way, and I didn’t one and I am mad now lol.
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| Posted 1/14/21 1:51 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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If you asked someone to hang out...
I would just plan on not doing anything with him. If he brings it up, tell him that you did not get a response so you made other plans. Maybe that will push him going forward to answer in a normal manner. Some people have really weird texting habits. I've been dating one for 18 months..who has gotten a bit better though 
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| Posted 1/14/21 1:52 PM |
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MrsDrMatt
Live and RUN like a Ninja!
Member since 5/06 3104 total posts
Name:
MrsDrMatt
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
Posted by Hopefulmama
Yes I am inclined to believe this too except since I am only free every other weekend I wondered if it was just simply too early to make plans for next weekend. Plus his kids have sports etc so it’s possible he isn’t available. I think that generalization, while often true, works better when people are young and unencumbered. But that’s why I put it out there - for a definitive answer, either way, and I didn’t one and I am mad now lol.
Time to move on.
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| Posted 1/14/21 2:07 PM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6655 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
Definitely non-committal. I don't like that. I wouldn't respond and if he reaches out that's one thing, but I wouldn't bank on hanging out with him.
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| Posted 1/14/21 2:29 PM |
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
Has he answered you since? Honestly with men, anything is possible and maybe he agreed to hang out and probably waiting for YOU to make the plans.
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| Posted 1/14/21 2:30 PM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
As a guy who hasn't dated since way before cell phones and texting, take this as you see fit...
I think that liking a text is the equivalent of texting "ok". I know a bunch of people that I text that like my texts to indicate yes. I personally don't like it, but that's how they use their phones.
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| Posted 1/14/21 2:41 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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If you asked someone to hang out...
I would take that as a passive maybe. Definitely non-committal
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| Posted 1/14/21 2:43 PM |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
Posted by RainyDay
If there is something specific you would like to do I would just straight out ask him if he was interested and throw out a time......."hey I was thinking of going to starbucks at 3 on Sunday, do you want to join?" If he does that "like" thing again I would just flat out ask, "does that mean yes?"
I would do this. Suggest a specific plan for that day. You have nothing to lose. He may be "bopping along" thinking all is good - I responded to her text about Sunday. Or, he may be hedging his bets. But the sooner you try to make a specific plan, the sooner you'll know, and can move forward accordingly.
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| Posted 1/14/21 2:49 PM |
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
Posted by GoldenRod
As a guy who hasn't dated since way before cell phones and texting, take this as you see fit...
I think that liking a text is the equivalent of texting "ok". I know a bunch of people that I text that like my texts to indicate yes. I personally don't like it, but that's how they use their phones.
Exactly ITA and we didn't have phones either and I actually hate texting. I hate the back and forth. Some people are just not good communicators or just don't like the back and forth texting. It sounds like he is say yeah, that is good and waiting for her reply for what she wants to do.
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| Posted 1/14/21 2:51 PM |
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
I think it is possible he is saying "okay" but wants you to suggest the specific plan.
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| Posted 1/14/21 2:51 PM |
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Re: If you asked someone to hang out...
Posted by oldtimerocknroll
I think it is possible he is saying "okay" but wants you to suggest the specific plan.
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| Posted 1/14/21 3:01 PM |
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