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EricaAlt
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 22665 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Anyone else tired of the Debbie Downers
I get it. It's different times and we are all managing. I'm trying to make the most of it while still being careful with family. We do a lot of outside gatherings, outside playdates, BBQ's, sitting by the fire, going to places not crowded, etc.
Then when you post pics on FB it's always those people who respond with... so sad this is life now, or it is what it is.
I post a pic of the kids going to school so excited and you get those people... sad this is life now.
My MIL called the boys after the first day and they were so excited to tell her everything and then you get... you had to wear masks, you poor things. They were like, it's only 4 hours and it was fine.
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Posted 9/21/20 7:15 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Anyone else tired of the Debbie Downers
Yes, and especially the complainers. I am so tired of people complaining about everything. We are all in this together.
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| Posted 9/21/20 7:27 AM |
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queensgal
Smile
Member since 4/09 3287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Anyone else tired of the Debbie Downers
It’s the adults who aren’t coping well. The kids are doing great. We could all learn from kids who seem to be far more resilient. And yes there’s a lot that’s sad about the pandemic but I don’t think masks are that big of a deal.
Sorry you have to deal, I don’t put personal stuff on Facebook but the MiL stuff is hard to avoid. You could try letting her know “the kids are super excited to tell you this” maybe she will take a hint next time?
Unfortunately a lot of people are just negative and it’s how they chose to live their life. Your kids will learn more by watching you so try not to let it get you down.
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| Posted 9/21/20 7:27 AM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Anyone else tired of the Debbie Downers
I did that most people cannot adapt to change. And because of that they are miserable. I get that life if different but rather than being miserable I feel like people should be making the most of it.
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| Posted 9/21/20 7:58 AM |
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EricaAlt
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 22665 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: Anyone else tired of the Debbie Downers
Posted by alli3131
I did that most people cannot adapt to change. And because of that they are miserable. I get that life if different but rather than being miserable I feel like people should be making the most of it.
This exactly! Look... it does suck, but my kids feed off of me and if I'm miserable everyone is. We make plans as much as we can and safely. We've gone camping, lots of BBQ's, been to the beach a ton, had picnics, etc. My neighbors are really the same as us so we all hang out a lot together. Kids ride bikes and play sports or games too. It's not gonna help sitting inside and moping. The weather is gonna get colder so take advantage.
We've set up movies outside too and put a TV out, got a firepit and heater.
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| Posted 9/21/20 8:00 AM |
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jlm2008
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 5092 total posts
Name:
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Anyone else tired of the Debbie Downers
Yep, been tired of them since May. This is life, adapt. Put the mask on and stop complaining. We are adults and have to do what we have to do. If you can't adapt or are still lamenting this is life now and can't deal, then I implore you to get psychological help. And I'm not being sarcastic, I take mental health extremely important. But if you can't adapt without complaining after 6 months something is very wrong and there is no shame in reaching out for help.
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| Posted 9/21/20 8:33 AM |
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seaside
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 3101 total posts
Name:
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Re: Anyone else tired of the Debbie Downers
Posted by EricaAlt
Posted by alli3131
I did that most people cannot adapt to change. And because of that they are miserable. I get that life if different but rather than being miserable I feel like people should be making the most of it.
This exactly! Look... it does suck, but my kids feed off of me and if I'm miserable everyone is. We make plans as much as we can and safely. We've gone camping, lots of BBQ's, been to the beach a ton, had picnics, etc. My neighbors are really the same as us so we all hang out a lot together. Kids ride bikes and play sports or games too. It's not gonna help sitting inside and moping. The weather is gonna get colder so take advantage.
We've set up movies outside too and put a TV out, got a firepit and heater.
Your kids are lucky. You're not only helping them live their best lives; you're teaching them resiliency, among other values.
Agree with all of you about the toxic negativity/anger.
Message edited 9/21/2020 8:50:59 AM.
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| Posted 9/21/20 8:50 AM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Anyone else tired of the Debbie Downers
yes but this is def. 2 sided.
We are still doing things and making the best of it and listening to the rules.
We went and did are fall activities with masks on. we go out to eat indoors we do everything we can.
does it suck that I will probably have to cancel the Disney trip we finally planned and now cant go because we cant be quarantined for 2 weeks after plus all the restrictions there! yes it does but it is what it is. Planning on using the money now for home renovations.
Do I hate doing all this with a mask on yes but I try to keep it from my kids. DO my kids get upset about things are thier own they cant do yes and when that happens I agree but tell them its going to be ok!
However I am sick of hearing people be all doom and gloom and Debbie downers when they dont agree with things people are doing. Like trying to have as normal as a life with everything going on.
or hearing constantly this is how its going to be forever!
that is just equally as bad!!
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| Posted 9/21/20 9:04 AM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7272 total posts
Name:
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Anyone else tired of the Debbie Downers
On the flip side:
https://lifehacker.com/how-to-avoid-toxic-positivity-and-handle-it-when-it-co-1844966691
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| Posted 9/21/20 9:17 AM |
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Re: Anyone else tired of the Debbie Downers
I see both sides of it.
I do my best to do what I can to still enjoy life for sure, and I think we can still take hold of opportunities to be happy.
However, I feel that this situation has a layer of grief involved with it.
Loss has been experienced in many ways as a result of this situation; I don't think having negativity toward that experience is akin to being a Debbie Downer as much as it is akin to grieving, which is a much more complex experience than simply having a negative attitude.
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| Posted 9/21/20 9:36 AM |
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KateBennetReel
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/15 555 total posts
Name:
Keep
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Re: Anyone else tired of the Debbie Downers
Yea, it's draining.
I enjoy hoppin on LIF for the Long Island life chat, and then i remember what i can encounter and it just sucks the life out of me.
I don't do FB unless I'm looking for specific info for something. I use it strictly as an info tool because, well that's a whole other level of energy sucking I can't spend more energy on.
And then I open this thread and find a little cluster of folks sharing that in-this-together type vibe, no drain/no strain.
I like that.
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| Posted 9/21/20 9:43 AM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17789 total posts
Name:
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Anyone else tired of the Debbie Downers
I'm ok with the downers as it is sad. I am trying to make the best of it but, do realize that things aren't the same as they were.
What gets me tired is the people who are openly judging and shaming every decision that others make.
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| Posted 9/21/20 10:00 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Anyone else tired of the Debbie Downers
Posted by oldtimerocknroll
However, I feel that this situation has a layer of grief involved with it.
Loss has been experienced in many ways as a result of this situation; I don't think having negativity toward that experience is akin to being a Debbie Downer as much as it is akin to grieving, which is a much more complex experience than simply having a negative attitude.
It's funny you mention the grief aspect. When my daughter was born, it was like culture shock to me. I was married for 10 years before we had her. We had a very set way of living. Needless to say that way of life was gone- overnight.
I remember sitting on the couch in the first week she was home and just sobbing. I missed work. I missed my friends. I missed it being just DH and I. I missed being able to come and go as we pleased, go out to dinner at 8 pm then a movie, go away on a whim.
And yes, a lot of that was hormones and baby blues. But then someone said something to me that I never forgot - "You are grieving. You are grieving your old life"
I had a beautiful healthy daughter. It seemed insane to use the word grief. It was supposed to be the happiest time of my life. But still, I was grieving. Not because the new life was going to be bad- but because I lost the old life in the process.
Once I realized that and that it was ok to feel that way, I grieved it and I moved on.
It's kind of similar here. We'll move on. We have already. But it's ok to say- hey you know what, this sucks. I miss X or Y or Z.
Be easy on each other. Everyone handles things differently.
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| Posted 9/21/20 10:12 AM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6655 total posts
Name:
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Re: Anyone else tired of the Debbie Downers
Posted by oldtimerocknroll
I see both sides of it.
I do my best to do what I can to still enjoy life for sure, and I think we can still take hold of opportunities to be happy.
However, I feel that this situation has a layer of grief involved with it.
Loss has been experienced in many ways as a result of this situation; I don't think having negativity toward that experience is akin to being a Debbie Downer as much as it is akin to grieving, which is a much more complex experience than simply having a negative attitude.
I definitely agree with it. I mean we're all trying to make the best of a bad situation.
Please also keep in mind that Covid is not the only crappy thing going on this year for everyone. There's massive lay offs, school stress, now upcoming holiday uncertainty, the election coming up, RBG passing, even the changing of the weather is bringing on new challenges- all this aside from the normal every day concerns! Ugh, it's really hard to keep it light, keep it happy. Personally, I've had a lot to deal with outside of Covid as well. You just never know what is going on with people, so I really try not to judge too harshly.
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| Posted 9/21/20 10:34 AM |
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MarathonKnitter
HAPPY
Member since 2/07 17374 total posts
Name:
EMBRACING CHANGE
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Re: Anyone else tired of the Debbie Downers
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by oldtimerocknroll
However, I feel that this situation has a layer of grief involved with it.
Loss has been experienced in many ways as a result of this situation; I don't think having negativity toward that experience is akin to being a Debbie Downer as much as it is akin to grieving, which is a much more complex experience than simply having a negative attitude.
It's funny you mention the grief aspect. When my daughter was born, it was like culture shock to me. I was married for 10 years before we had her. We had a very set way of living. Needless to say that way of life was gone- overnight.
I remember sitting on the couch in the first week she was home and just sobbing. I missed work. I missed my friends. I missed it being just DH and I. I missed being able to come and go as we pleased, go out to dinner at 8 pm then a movie, go away on a whim.
And yes, a lot of that was hormones and baby blues. But then someone said something to me that I never forgot - "You are grieving. You are grieving your old life"
I had a beautiful healthy daughter. It seemed insane to use the word grief. It was supposed to be the happiest time of my life. But still, I was grieving. Not because the new life was going to be bad- but because I lost the old life in the process.
Once I realized that and that it was ok to feel that way, I grieved it and I moved on.
It's kind of similar here. We'll move on. We have already. But it's ok to say- hey you know what, this sucks. I miss X or Y or Z.
Be easy on each other. Everyone handles things differently.
i totally agree with this perspective... but...
i believe that the OP (and myself) are a little drained by the people who feel they have an obligation to remind you of the negative, when you're working hard on finding the positive.
yes, i have grieved the way i was able to see relatives at the drop of a hat. i grieved not having my big easter event. and i understand that not everyone grieves at the same pace. but if i'm finding beauty in spending time in my garden because so much is closed/restricted, then don't respond (in person or social media) how horrible it is that i can't go to the farmers' market.
no. i'm not shaming those who are further back in the grieving process... just let me have my moment of joy. especially, when it comes to children. let them enjoy how funny and different things are. don't kill their joy in the world.
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| Posted 9/21/20 10:41 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Anyone else tired of the Debbie Downers
Posted by MarathonKnitter
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by oldtimerocknroll
However, I feel that this situation has a layer of grief involved with it.
Loss has been experienced in many ways as a result of this situation; I don't think having negativity toward that experience is akin to being a Debbie Downer as much as it is akin to grieving, which is a much more complex experience than simply having a negative attitude.
It's funny you mention the grief aspect. When my daughter was born, it was like culture shock to me. I was married for 10 years before we had her. We had a very set way of living. Needless to say that way of life was gone- overnight.
I remember sitting on the couch in the first week she was home and just sobbing. I missed work. I missed my friends. I missed it being just DH and I. I missed being able to come and go as we pleased, go out to dinner at 8 pm then a movie, go away on a whim.
And yes, a lot of that was hormones and baby blues. But then someone said something to me that I never forgot - "You are grieving. You are grieving your old life"
I had a beautiful healthy daughter. It seemed insane to use the word grief. It was supposed to be the happiest time of my life. But still, I was grieving. Not because the new life was going to be bad- but because I lost the old life in the process.
Once I realized that and that it was ok to feel that way, I grieved it and I moved on.
It's kind of similar here. We'll move on. We have already. But it's ok to say- hey you know what, this sucks. I miss X or Y or Z.
Be easy on each other. Everyone handles things differently.
i totally agree with this perspective... but...
i believe that the OP (and myself) are a little drained by the people who feel they have an obligation to remind you of the negative, when you're working hard on finding the positive.
yes, i have grieved the way i was able to see relatives at the drop of a hat. i grieved not having my big easter event. and i understand that not everyone grieves at the same pace. but if i'm finding beauty in spending time in my garden because so much is closed/restricted, then don't respond (in person or social media) how horrible it is that i can't go to the farmers' market.
no. i'm not shaming those who are further back in the grieving process... just let me have my moment of joy. especially, when it comes to children. let them enjoy how funny and different things are. don't kill their joy in the world.
I agree. I never understand the people who see a Facebook post and have to comment on it negatively in any way.
Like the OP mentioning the comments like- Oh this is so sad how life is now.
How about just scrolling on or just hitting the like button or just saying- hey great picture, the boys are getting big!
In a Facebook group I am in some woman was upset because she loves wearing fun colored wigs as an accessory and a friend of hers had to take the time to comment- it's obvious you are wearing a wig.
She was like - um yeah I'm not trying to hide that- because my hair was brown and short this morning and now it's 6 inches longer and it's BLUE!
I mean who does that?
If you don't like it, move on.
Such negativity.
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| Posted 9/21/20 11:11 AM |
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EricaAlt
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 22665 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: Anyone else tired of the Debbie Downers
Posted by MarathonKnitter
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by oldtimerocknroll
However, I feel that this situation has a layer of grief involved with it.
Loss has been experienced in many ways as a result of this situation; I don't think having negativity toward that experience is akin to being a Debbie Downer as much as it is akin to grieving, which is a much more complex experience than simply having a negative attitude.
It's funny you mention the grief aspect. When my daughter was born, it was like culture shock to me. I was married for 10 years before we had her. We had a very set way of living. Needless to say that way of life was gone- overnight.
I remember sitting on the couch in the first week she was home and just sobbing. I missed work. I missed my friends. I missed it being just DH and I. I missed being able to come and go as we pleased, go out to dinner at 8 pm then a movie, go away on a whim.
And yes, a lot of that was hormones and baby blues. But then someone said something to me that I never forgot - "You are grieving. You are grieving your old life"
I had a beautiful healthy daughter. It seemed insane to use the word grief. It was supposed to be the happiest time of my life. But still, I was grieving. Not because the new life was going to be bad- but because I lost the old life in the process.
Once I realized that and that it was ok to feel that way, I grieved it and I moved on.
It's kind of similar here. We'll move on. We have already. But it's ok to say- hey you know what, this sucks. I miss X or Y or Z.
Be easy on each other. Everyone handles things differently.
i totally agree with this perspective... but...
i believe that the OP (and myself) are a little drained by the people who feel they have an obligation to remind you of the negative, when you're working hard on finding the positive.
yes, i have grieved the way i was able to see relatives at the drop of a hat. i grieved not having my big easter event. and i understand that not everyone grieves at the same pace. but if i'm finding beauty in spending time in my garden because so much is closed/restricted, then don't respond (in person or social media) how horrible it is that i can't go to the farmers' market.
no. i'm not shaming those who are further back in the grieving process... just let me have my moment of joy. especially, when it comes to children. let them enjoy how funny and different things are. don't kill their joy in the world.
Yes! Agree with you 100%. THere are plenty of times I vent, but to a friend or my parents. It sucks. We are really trying to be good. HAven't been in anyone's homes and haven't had in ours. My brother is a nurse and seen awful things. I'm just saying on social media or when talking to my kids don't harp on the negative. WE had the Jewish holidays with family outside. Food was delicious, weather was beautiful and it was nice to be with family. No need to add negativity. I am trying to make the most of it. Honestly, we had a nice time and it was different, but we enjoyed the weather and being outside. We got to hear the shofar outside, which we never did before.
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| Posted 9/21/20 11:16 AM |
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Re: Anyone else tired of the Debbie Downers
Posted by MarathonKnitter
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by oldtimerocknroll
However, I feel that this situation has a layer of grief involved with it.
Loss has been experienced in many ways as a result of this situation; I don't think having negativity toward that experience is akin to being a Debbie Downer as much as it is akin to grieving, which is a much more complex experience than simply having a negative attitude.
It's funny you mention the grief aspect. When my daughter was born, it was like culture shock to me. I was married for 10 years before we had her. We had a very set way of living. Needless to say that way of life was gone- overnight.
I remember sitting on the couch in the first week she was home and just sobbing. I missed work. I missed my friends. I missed it being just DH and I. I missed being able to come and go as we pleased, go out to dinner at 8 pm then a movie, go away on a whim.
And yes, a lot of that was hormones and baby blues. But then someone said something to me that I never forgot - "You are grieving. You are grieving your old life"
I had a beautiful healthy daughter. It seemed insane to use the word grief. It was supposed to be the happiest time of my life. But still, I was grieving. Not because the new life was going to be bad- but because I lost the old life in the process.
Once I realized that and that it was ok to feel that way, I grieved it and I moved on.
It's kind of similar here. We'll move on. We have already. But it's ok to say- hey you know what, this sucks. I miss X or Y or Z.
Be easy on each other. Everyone handles things differently.
i totally agree with this perspective... but...
i believe that the OP (and myself) are a little drained by the people who feel they have an obligation to remind you of the negative, when you're working hard on finding the positive.
yes, i have grieved the way i was able to see relatives at the drop of a hat. i grieved not having my big easter event. and i understand that not everyone grieves at the same pace. but if i'm finding beauty in spending time in my garden because so much is closed/restricted, then don't respond (in person or social media) how horrible it is that i can't go to the farmers' market.
no. i'm not shaming those who are further back in the grieving process... just let me have my moment of joy. especially, when it comes to children. let them enjoy how funny and different things are. don't kill their joy in the world.
Yes, I understand what you mean; like I said, I can see both sides--or all angles, really.
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| Posted 9/21/20 11:31 AM |
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seaside
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 3101 total posts
Name:
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Re: Anyone else tired of the Debbie Downers
Grief for what was is normal. But people have not hone easier on one another. There has been namecalling--random bursts of anger--misdirected rage--and an overall provocative "edge" to many posts all over social media. I THINK that's what the OP was referring to.
The situation for us all and for the world HAS been bad. And we, like it or not, are living through it. Realizing that is one thing. Spewing self-indulgent toxicity is another.
Message edited 9/21/2020 1:16:46 PM.
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| Posted 9/21/20 12:08 PM |
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Re: Anyone else tired of the Debbie Downers
I think those people are just having trouble processing. and they don't know how to express themselves without being negative. I have a few of those people in my life too.
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| Posted 9/21/20 1:05 PM |
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Re: Anyone else tired of the Debbie Downers
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Message edited 9/28/2020 5:40:13 AM.
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| Posted 9/21/20 1:12 PM |
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EricaAlt
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 22665 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: Anyone else tired of the Debbie Downers
Posted by LastLightGlow
I think what it boils down to is resilience. Some can step out and see the bigger picture and go with it. My kids are safe and healthy. I go about life mostly in the same way. Some changes here and there but far from anything too comfortable. Some people are built differently. I think we are born with certain personality and survivalist predispositions. Some can adapt easily, some not so much. Some have fiery fight in them, some crumble, and everything in between. A lot is just our nature. We have to have compassion and respect for our sisters and brothers on every wavelength of this spectrum and do our best to carry each other.
Thanks! Makes sense
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| Posted 9/21/20 1:31 PM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: Anyone else tired of the Debbie Downers
Posted by LastLightGlow
I think what it boils down to is resilience. Some can step out and see the bigger picture and go with it. My kids are safe and healthy. I go about life mostly in the same way. Some changes here and there but far from anything too comfortable. Some people are built differently. I think we are born with certain personality and survivalist predispositions. Some can adapt easily, some not so much. Some have fiery fight in them, some crumble, and everything in between. A lot is just our nature. We have to have compassion and respect for our sisters and brothers on every wavelength of this spectrum and do our best to carry each other.
I agree 100%. And even those of us who are positive, are positive for different reasons. Some people are just happy for any positive thing they can find. Others are positive because "it is what it is", and just roll with it.
For me, I'm always "Find a Plan B". My Plan B's aren't as good as Plan A, but as long as I can "fix" something, I'm relatively happy. I'm making things work with Zoom, with masks, with all of the rules in place. We can still "eat out" and support our local restaurants without actually "eating out", and just bringing food home. I can't camp with my Scouts, but we go on hikes, do day activities, etc.
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| Posted 9/21/20 1:51 PM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6655 total posts
Name:
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Re: Anyone else tired of the Debbie Downers
Posted by BaysideForever
I think those people are just having trouble processing. and they don't know how to express themselves without being negative. I have a few of those people in my life too.
It also may be that they don't have people they can talk to in person. I get angry sometimes when people use Facebook as a diary to air their dirty laundry, but then I just feel sort of sad for them because chances are they don't have a friend, relative, significant other, whatever it may be to have these conversations with.
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| Posted 9/21/20 2:16 PM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11486 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
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Anyone else tired of the Debbie Downers
I’m tired of the complainers (IDGAF if everyone hates me), but they are getting lockdown ready here again. Just a word from the future.
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| Posted 9/21/20 2:54 PM |
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