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Do you let your children come into bed with you?

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Hopefulmama
LIF Adolescent

Member since 4/14

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Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Do you let your children come into bed with you? If so, up until what age? I’m a single mother of three young boys, one of whom is disabled and wakes multiple times at night, often up for an hour at least during which I need to supervise him as he can get into trouble. I generally get 5 hours of sleep a night. I also work full time. My sweet 7 year old boy begs to sleep in my bed at night, and while it breaks my heart to say no, I am so bone tired that I just need that half hour to myself to watch Bravo and guzzle a glass of wine so I can sleep until I am inevitably woken up at 2 am, etc. But I’ve been hearing stories lately of all these parents who let their kids stay in their beds until they’re 10 years old and now I feel like I’m being mean for saying no :(. I also feel like as he gets older and needs me less I’ll regret not letting him stay in my bed. Thoughts?

Posted 2/4/20 3:05 PM
 
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mommy2be716
LIF Adult

Member since 1/16

2645 total posts

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Do you let your children come into bed with you?

absolutely not! Even when I was a kid, my mom said no way and my brother would sleep in the hallway LOL. I layed in DD's bed with her ONCE, and it took like a week to break away from it because she wanted me to do it every day after that.

I don't believe in co-sleeping or any of that

Posted 2/4/20 3:11 PM
 

LuckyStar
LIF Adult

Member since 7/14

6125 total posts

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Do you let your children come into bed with you?

No. She has never slept in our bed, not once. I tried to have her there one night when she had the flu and I wanted to keep any eye on her and she wasn’t having it. It was foreign to her.

Posted 2/4/20 3:19 PM
 

Momma2015
Mommax2

Member since 12/12

6289 total posts

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Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

I haaaaaaaaaaate sharing my bed. If I could kick DH out indefinitely I would, too. DD is almost 4 and she's the easy one so she rarely if ever asks to come into our bed at night. If she does, she had a bad dream or doesn't feel good and then I don't mind. On the opposite end... my DS is 10 months old and wakes up constantly at night no matter what I try so he often winds up in the bed with me so I can stick a boob in his mouth while I'm half asleep instead of getting up to tend to the incessant screaming. Chat Icon Chat Icon And I'm TIRED of it. It's no joke not getting enough sleep- there's a reason they use it to torture people. I *hope* to nip it in the bud once he stops nursing but pfft I don't even know how to. But anyway, TL;DR- you're not a bad mom! You need your time to yourself. I know I get pissed when he wakes up as soon as I settle down under the covers with my garbage TV, tea, and pile of snacks. Chat Icon

Posted 2/4/20 3:23 PM
 

b2b777
LIF Adult

Member since 9/09

4354 total posts

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Do you let your children come into bed with you?

No. I only let them if they are really sick. They dont tend to ask otherwise.

Posted 2/4/20 3:27 PM
 

LuckyStar
LIF Adult

Member since 7/14

6125 total posts

Name:

Do you let your children come into bed with you?

I want to say I feel like I’m in the vast minority in terms of it not being a thing in my house. Almost everyone I know says their kid(s) end up in bed with them at least occasionally.

Posted 2/4/20 3:27 PM
 

M514
Hi

Member since 8/10

5664 total posts

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Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Never. She never even comes in to ask.

Posted 2/4/20 3:40 PM
 

MrsO
Big Brothers to Be

Member since 1/07

4473 total posts

Name:
Maureen

Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

I have 4 sons and my 2nd son was a horrible sleeper so he ended up in the bed with us. He is now 10 and there are many nights he still comes in. If he wakes me up I bring him back to his room but alot of the time he stays in. It has gotten less the past few months but it is a hard habit to break and he is getting 2 big for us to all sleep comfortably. He is gradually realizing this himself.
None of my other boys ever tried to come into our bed.
My theory is if you haven't started the habit I wouldn't start now and also definitely not to fall asleep in your bed at this point.

Posted 2/4/20 3:57 PM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

49000 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Not in my bed because we can barely stand having the 2 of us in there- LOL.
But when she has had bad dreams in the past she would come in our room and sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor.
She went through a phase were that was happening a lot.
She is 9 now and hasn't done it in over a year I'd say

Posted 2/4/20 4:13 PM
 

Mags1227
Just a mommy ...

Member since 10/10

2581 total posts

Name:
M

Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

no.
never co-slept. DS was in his crib at 6 weeks in his own room.
on the weekends he'll lie down in our bed for a few minutes with DH, but then he goes to his room for sleep.

Posted 2/4/20 7:02 PM
 

anonymoususer
LIF Adult

Member since 7/08

3261 total posts

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Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

I have three boys. They all get tucked in to their own beds. If they wake up and come to me-
the 9 year old rarely asks anyway but he understands that our bed is small and we wouldn’t fit (me hubby and kid)
5 year old asks to snuggle and I let him
2 year old just climbs in. Can’t say no to that lol

They usually fall back asleep quickly and I ultimately move them back to their beds if I’m not passed out

I feel bad saying no so I usually don’t
But if I’m exhausted I just walk them back to their beds


You gotta keep yourself healthy and sane. So if that means not sharing sleep time then that’s what it is. Give them extra hugs if you feel guilty. They’ll be fine!

Message edited 2/4/2020 9:39:10 PM.

Posted 2/4/20 9:36 PM
 

DiamondGirl
You are my I love you

Member since 7/09

18769 total posts

Name:
DiamondMama

Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Yes. I have an 8 and 5 year old and if they want to sleep w us they can, whenever, for however long they wish. To each their own but if our child is scared, wants to sleep with us we do not say no. They won;t want to be in our bed forever.

Posted 2/5/20 9:01 AM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

49000 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

So this is funny. I commented on this thread yesterday about how DD hasn't come in our room in a long time.
Well- my mouth to God's ears because last night at 4 am I wake up to her creeping in our room and coming over to me whispering that she had a bad dream
We got her sleeping bag out of the closet and she slept on our floor until she had to get up for school.
I guess i jinxed myself!

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Posted 2/5/20 9:09 AM
 

MrsT809
LIF Adult

Member since 9/09

11867 total posts

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Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Nope, kids in bed is not for me. Since my youngest turns 2 it's been very rare that we let a kid into our bed bc typically bi one gets any sleep that way. I typically hear them come downstairs and try to meet them halfway and walk them back to bed with some cuddles. My youngest sometimes tries to stealth crawl by me to dh's side bc he's too out of it to do anything but pull her into bed.

Posted 2/5/20 9:18 AM
 

Ellsey10
LIF Adolescent

Member since 1/15

603 total posts

Name:

Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Yes. My 4 year old used to just come into my bed, but now if he needs me/wants to cuddle he'll call for me and i'll go into his room for a little bit. My almost 2 year old was never a good sleeper so he will start out in his bed and at some point throughout the night come into mine. DH and I don't mind it and if it means we all sleep then it's worth it.

Posted 2/5/20 9:47 AM
 

LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!

Member since 5/05

18608 total posts

Name:
L

Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

That would be a no from me. I did not co sleep either. I need my sleep or I can’t function as a person.

Message edited 2/5/2020 9:54:48 AM.

Posted 2/5/20 9:54 AM
 

nycgirl
Angels!

Member since 3/09

7721 total posts

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Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Yes. Not all the time... but if they have a nightmare or once in a while when hubby is working overnight, we do a “sleepover”.

They also go to each other’s rooms if the conditions aren’t right for them in my bed.

I remember occasionally having a “sleepover” with my mom as a kid and my sister would crawl into my bed when sick or when she has a nightmare.

As for age... my 9 year old doesn’t really come anymore. My 8 year old loves to come. My 4 year old prefers to sleep by herself. When they were babies... it was hard to break, but now that they are older, we talk about it and they don’t get hooked.

Posted 2/5/20 10:02 AM
 

HeyJude
LIF Adolescent

Member since 9/07

706 total posts

Name:
p

Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Yes we do. They are only little for so long. We have a king size bed so there is enough room.
I can remember when I was little and had nightmares, I would go in and ask my mom to sleep with her, she'd say no so I would lay on the hard floor next to her bed. I never want my kids to feel the way I did when that happened.

Posted 2/5/20 10:06 AM
 

Aries14
Can't plan life...

Member since 8/08

2858 total posts

Name:

Do you let your children come into bed with you?

I have 2 girls and are totally different sleepers as babies/toddlers/kids. My oldest needed to sleep with us and my younger one could never fall asleep unless she is in her own bed and by herself. I had a lot of friends tell me they would never let their kids in their bed but i didn't let it bother me.. I would have her start in her bed but let her come in my bed during the night if she needed it. By 9 years old she finally slept straight thru the night in her bed and never cam back into our bed again.

Posted 2/5/20 10:19 AM
 

PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!

Member since 5/11

6410 total posts

Name:
Momma <3

Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Never. If I could, I would kick my DH out as well. LOL!

My son was a terrible sleeper until 22 months old and even then he never came into our bed.

My son is the biggest cuddler so I always make time to cuddle with him either after school or right before bed. Sometimes, he'll wake up right when I'm about to get out of bed for the day and I always let him snuggle then too.

My sister on the other hand has 1-2 kids in her bed every night. She said she hasn't had a good night's sleep in over 6 years. No thanks!!!!

Posted 2/5/20 1:16 PM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

49000 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

I sleep terrible when she's in the bed.
On vacation she likes to share a bed with me and I agree because it's not often. So I take one bed with her and DH gets a bed all to himself!
OMG. She ends up moving diagonally with her feet in my chest, my stomach, my ribs. And trying to move her is like moving dead weight.
And I end up with 1/4 of the bed, practically sleeping on the night stand.
I could never have her in the bed with the 2 of us. I'd need to move in with a chiropractor!

That's why we got the sleeping bag- you want to sleep with us because you are scared, that's fine- but you can sleep on the floor.
At 9 years old they can sleep anywhere with no pain. Me, not so much.
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Message edited 2/5/2020 1:20:45 PM.

Posted 2/5/20 1:19 PM
 

Katareen
5,000 Posts!

Member since 4/10

6591 total posts

Name:
Katherine

Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Posted by DiamondGirl

Yes. I have an 8 and 5 year old and if they want to sleep w us they can, whenever, for however long they wish. To each their own but if our child is scared, wants to sleep with us we do not say no. They won;t want to be in our bed forever.



Same, right down to the ages!

It happens probably once every 3-4 months. But I remember having bad dreams as a child and my mom shooing me back to my room, terrified. I can’t do it.

Posted 2/5/20 2:15 PM
 

loveus
LIF Adolescent

Member since 9/13

684 total posts

Name:

Do you let your children come into bed with you?

If my children wake up and come to my room they are always welcomed. If it’s really uncomfortable my husband will bring them back to their beds or I will go sleep in their beds. When we travel we get 2 queen beds and my husband and I get one kid each for the night.
When they come to my bed I am exhausted and don’t have the energy to put them back and go comfort them, easier to do from my bed.

Posted 2/5/20 6:53 PM
 

Hopefulmama
LIF Adolescent

Member since 4/14

824 total posts

Name:

Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Posted by DiamondGirl

Yes. I have an 8 and 5 year old and if they want to sleep w us they can, whenever, for however long they wish. To each their own but if our child is scared, wants to sleep with us we do not say no. They won;t want to be in our bed forever.



Thanks for all the responses! To clarify, I would never turn my sick, sad, or scared child away. But he is asking to come into my room at 9 every night when he goes down to sleep, as a matter of course, and I was wondering what parents do in that situation. I appreciate all the feedback!

Posted 2/5/20 11:02 PM
 

Hopefulmama
LIF Adolescent

Member since 4/14

824 total posts

Name:

Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Posted by HeyJude

Yes we do. They are only little for so long. We have a king size bed so there is enough room.
I can remember when I was little and had nightmares, I would go in and ask my mom to sleep with her, she'd say no so I would lay on the hard floor next to her bed. I never want my kids to feel the way I did when that happened.



That’s so sad and heartbreaking :(. I would never turn my child away in the middle of the night like that. My child mostly just wants us to go to sleep together, at the same time - like 9 pm -in my bed at night. I’m torn bc he is such a sweetie but I also do about an hour of work from 9-10 and then retire to my bedroom to watch a show for a half hour before falling asleep for few hours before my other son inevitably wakes.

Posted 2/5/20 11:10 PM
 
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