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Summer123
LIF Toddler
Member since 5/19 436 total posts
Name:
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Cremation of loved one
If anyone had family member cremated and a memorial at later date, did you have a viewing right before cremation?
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Posted 1/3/20 10:25 AM  |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: Cremation of loved one
Not personally but I’ve seen it both ways. Viewing first at funeral home and then following day church memorial and then cremation.
Or just cremation and church memorial then lunch with family after.
I personally like the cremation with whatever type of memorial your family believes in and that’s it. I’ve made my wishes known to my DH that I would want that. I found it much easier on the mourners not to have the viewing and all that goes with it.
It just depends on your beliefs and the wishes of the person who passed (if known beforehand)
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| Posted 1/3/20 10:43 AM |
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Summer123
LIF Toddler
Member since 5/19 436 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cremation of loved one
Posted by PhyllisNJoe
Not personally but I’ve seen it both ways. Viewing first at funeral home and then following day church memorial and then cremation.
Or just cremation and church memorial then lunch with family after.
I personally like the cremation with whatever type of memorial your family believes in and that’s it. I’ve made my wishes known to my DH that I would want that. I found it much easier on the mourners not to have the viewing and all that goes with it.
It just depends on your beliefs and the wishes of the person who passed (if known beforehand)
I mean just a quick viewing before cremation
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| Posted 1/3/20 10:46 AM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6655 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cremation of loved one
For DH's family there was a viewing followed by cremation and memorial service the following day.
I used to work in a cemetery and many families did not do any viewings and did the memorial/burial in their own time. Some did have viewings, but the majority did not.
ETA: I'm not sure who this person was to you but I'm very sorry for your loss. 
Message edited 1/3/2020 10:48:38 AM.
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| Posted 1/3/20 10:48 AM |
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Summer123
LIF Toddler
Member since 5/19 436 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cremation of loved one
Posted by Momma2015
For DH's family there was a viewing followed by cremation and memorial service the following day.
I used to work in a cemetery and many families did not do any viewings and did the memorial/burial in their own time. Some did have viewings, but the majority did not.
ETA: I'm not sure who this person was to you but I'm very sorry for your loss.
Thank you. Its a big loss. I never did cremation before. Memorial service is in a few weeks. My DH went to view just so we were sure before cremation. So it wasnt a formal viewing. I was afraid since it wasn’t the same preparation as wake and he said he looked tge same as wake. I now regret not being there.
Message edited 1/3/2020 10:55:32 AM.
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| Posted 1/3/20 10:53 AM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6655 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cremation of loved one
Posted by Summer123
Posted by Momma2015
For DH's family there was a viewing followed by cremation and memorial service the following day.
I used to work in a cemetery and many families did not do any viewings and did the memorial/burial in their own time. Some did have viewings, but the majority did not.
ETA: I'm not sure who this person was to you but I'm very sorry for your loss.
Thank you. Its a big loss. I never did cremation. Memorial service is in a few weeks. My DH went to view before cremation. I was afraid since it wasn’t the same preparation as wake and he said he looked tge same as wake. I now regret not being there.
Perhaps you can call the funeral home and see if you can come in? Everyone handles grief differently and I'm sure they've had people request to come in privately to view. It definitely doesn't hurt to ask.
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| Posted 1/3/20 10:55 AM |
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Summer123
LIF Toddler
Member since 5/19 436 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cremation of loved one
Posted by Momma2015
Posted by Summer123
Posted by Momma2015
For DH's family there was a viewing followed by cremation and memorial service the following day.
I used to work in a cemetery and many families did not do any viewings and did the memorial/burial in their own time. Some did have viewings, but the majority did not.
ETA: I'm not sure who this person was to you but I'm very sorry for your loss.
Thank you. Its a big loss. I never did cremation. Memorial service is in a few weeks. My DH went to view before cremation. I was afraid since it wasn’t the same preparation as wake and he said he looked tge same as wake. I now regret not being there.
Perhaps you can call the funeral home and see if you can come in? Everyone handles grief differently and I'm sure they've had people request to come in privately to view. It definitely doesn't hurt to ask.
IWe requested a wuick viewing and my DH went for us but now I regret not going. I thought since there wasnt preparation like a wake, I was afraid what I would see but he said it was okay. I should have went and let him go in and judge and then let me know. This was all new to me.
Message edited 1/3/2020 11:15:20 AM.
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| Posted 1/3/20 10:58 AM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: Cremation of loved one
Posted by Summer123
Posted by Momma2015
Posted by Summer123
Posted by Momma2015
For DH's family there was a viewing followed by cremation and memorial service the following day.
I used to work in a cemetery and many families did not do any viewings and did the memorial/burial in their own time. Some did have viewings, but the majority did not.
ETA: I'm not sure who this person was to you but I'm very sorry for your loss.
Thank you. Its a big loss. I never did cremation. Memorial service is in a few weeks. My DH went to view before cremation. I was afraid since it wasn’t the same preparation as wake and he said he looked tge same as wake. I now regret not being there.
Perhaps you can call the funeral home and see if you can come in? Everyone handles grief differently and I'm sure they've had people request to come in privately to view. It definitely doesn't hurt to ask.
IWe requested a wuick viewing and my DH went for us but now I regret not going. I thought since there wasnt preparation like a wake, I was afraid what I would see but he said it was okay. I should have went and let him go in and judge and then let me know. This was all new to me.
Don’t fill yourself with regret. You made a decision based on your gut. Seeing or not seeing them before cremation shouldn’t matter. Whatever you would have said while viewing, you can say at memorial.
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| Posted 1/3/20 12:47 PM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6655 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cremation of loved one
Posted by PhyllisNJoe
Posted by Summer123
Posted by Momma2015
Posted by Summer123
Posted by Momma2015
For DH's family there was a viewing followed by cremation and memorial service the following day.
I used to work in a cemetery and many families did not do any viewings and did the memorial/burial in their own time. Some did have viewings, but the majority did not.
ETA: I'm not sure who this person was to you but I'm very sorry for your loss.
Thank you. Its a big loss. I never did cremation. Memorial service is in a few weeks. My DH went to view before cremation. I was afraid since it wasn’t the same preparation as wake and he said he looked tge same as wake. I now regret not being there.
Perhaps you can call the funeral home and see if you can come in? Everyone handles grief differently and I'm sure they've had people request to come in privately to view. It definitely doesn't hurt to ask.
IWe requested a wuick viewing and my DH went for us but now I regret not going. I thought since there wasnt preparation like a wake, I was afraid what I would see but he said it was okay. I should have went and let him go in and judge and then let me know. This was all new to me.
Don’t fill yourself with regret. You made a decision based on your gut. Seeing or not seeing them before cremation shouldn’t matter. Whatever you would have said while viewing, you can say at memorial.
ITA. Please don't beat yourself up, your fear is valid. It's a a different process and a lot to take in while you're already grieving.
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| Posted 1/3/20 1:13 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Cremation of loved one
Posted by Momma2015
Posted by PhyllisNJoe
Posted by Summer123
Posted by Momma2015
Posted by Summer123
Posted by Momma2015
For DH's family there was a viewing followed by cremation and memorial service the following day.
I used to work in a cemetery and many families did not do any viewings and did the memorial/burial in their own time. Some did have viewings, but the majority did not.
ETA: I'm not sure who this person was to you but I'm very sorry for your loss.
Thank you. Its a big loss. I never did cremation. Memorial service is in a few weeks. My DH went to view before cremation. I was afraid since it wasn’t the same preparation as wake and he said he looked tge same as wake. I now regret not being there.
Perhaps you can call the funeral home and see if you can come in? Everyone handles grief differently and I'm sure they've had people request to come in privately to view. It definitely doesn't hurt to ask.
IWe requested a wuick viewing and my DH went for us but now I regret not going. I thought since there wasnt preparation like a wake, I was afraid what I would see but he said it was okay. I should have went and let him go in and judge and then let me know. This was all new to me.
Don’t fill yourself with regret. You made a decision based on your gut. Seeing or not seeing them before cremation shouldn’t matter. Whatever you would have said while viewing, you can say at memorial.
ITA. Please don't beat yourself up, your fear is valid. It's a a different process and a lot to take in while you're already grieving.
I agree. Facing a body is a difficult thing. And I always say - your loved one is not there in that body you see. They aren't buried in the cemetery either.
That's just a vessel.
Their soul is no longer in that body and so you can always speak to them and they are always with you.
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| Posted 1/3/20 1:16 PM |
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TyReseGreen
Lil Prince is here
Member since 8/11 6338 total posts
Name:
Theresa
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Re: Cremation of loved one
I’ve been to a funeral where they were dressed and in the coffin for you to view then was cremated the next day(actually 2 of those I’ve attended for family members). I also went to my godmother who had a wake(no coffin or body) just her photo on a cheap coffin and she had already been cremated earlier apparently. A bit different then the other.
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| Posted 1/5/20 8:20 AM |
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MissJones
I need a nap!
Member since 5/05 22132 total posts
Name:
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Cremation of loved one
My grandfather did NOT want a funeral and wanted to be cremated. We had a quick viewing (I mean, 30 minutes) at the funeral home. They were very accommodating. He was dressed in his favorite suit and layed out in a nice way.
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| Posted 1/5/20 6:21 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7272 total posts
Name:
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Cremation of loved one
I’ve never known anyone who was cremated without a wake. Usually wake, then mass the next day followed by lunch. Though, I don’t think I’ve ever been to a non Catholic wake.
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| Posted 1/5/20 6:31 PM |
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Naturalmama
Love my boys!!
Member since 1/12 3548 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Cremation of loved one
Posted by LuckyStar
I’ve never known anyone who was cremated without a wake. Usually wake, then mass the next day followed by lunch. Though, I don’t think I’ve ever been to a non Catholic wake.
When my grandfather passed away 3 years ago, we did not do a wake, and we are Catholic. He was cremated, and then we had a memorial service/luncheon the Saturday after he was cremated. However, when my uncle passed in 2011, we did a wake, then cremation, then a funeral (half of his ashes were buried). I don't think there is a right or wrong way.
Please do not beat yourself up. I am still traumatized from seeing my grandmother in her coffin, and she has been gone 11 years. It is not an easy thing to face. I am so sorry for your loss.
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| Posted 1/5/20 7:32 PM |
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JWG421
Our miracle is here
Member since 12/12 2507 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cremation of loved one
Everyone is Diff and feels differently.
I lost my Husband in June, we had a service etc at the funeral home right after he passed. This past October we had a Burial out to sea ceremony which was our final goodbye to him
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| Posted 1/6/20 10:37 AM |
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