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Age to talk about 9/11

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queensgal
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Age to talk about 9/11

What age did you tell your kids about 9-11? What are they learning in school at what age?

My daughter was asked to wear red white and blue tomorrow so I explained it to her. She is in first grade. I made it simple and answered her questions. I think she will continue to learn more as she gets older of course. I didn’t want to give her nightmares but I wanted her to be aware it was a serious day and not something to be silly about.

Just curious what your experiences have been.

Posted 9/10/19 8:30 PM
 
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ali120206
2 Boys

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15396 total posts

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Age to talk about 9/11

In the past the kids haven’t discussed in much detail at school but now it’s a Day of Remembrance so I think a little more will be discussed.

We’ve told our 9 and 7 year olds about it at a high level - bad people flew planes into buildings and a lot of people died - but a friend has told every detail to her kids so they’ve learned a bit more than we told them. I don’t want to tell them too much detail as DH is in the FDNY and I worked down there for a long time so I don’t want them to be scared.

Posted 9/10/19 9:11 PM
 

lululu
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Member since 7/05

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Re: Age to talk about 9/11

We started talking to them about it since they could talk. I think I started with "this is a very sad day" and moved more towards the actual facts of the day as they got older. I probably told them about a lot of people being killed when they were about 4. I was there that day though and I think it's very important for the next generation to understand what happened.

Posted 9/11/19 10:58 AM
 

ali120206
2 Boys

Member since 7/06

15396 total posts

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Re: Age to talk about 9/11

Posted by lululu

We started talking to them about it since they could talk. I think I started with "this is a very sad day" and moved more towards the actual facts of the day as they got older. I probably told them about a lot of people being killed when they were about 4. I was there that day though and I think it's very important for the next generation to understand what happened.



Just a question - did you tell your kids you were there that day? I was as well, and I haven't told them that part yet. They know their dad went to help.

I'm interested to hear what was covered in school today now since it's a day of rememberance (not sure why they waited this long for it...)

Posted 9/11/19 12:07 PM
 

PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!

Member since 5/11

6255 total posts

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Momma <3

Re: Age to talk about 9/11

Posted by ali120206

Posted by lululu

We started talking to them about it since they could talk. I think I started with "this is a very sad day" and moved more towards the actual facts of the day as they got older. I probably told them about a lot of people being killed when they were about 4. I was there that day though and I think it's very important for the next generation to understand what happened.



Just a question - did you tell your kids you were there that day? I was as well, and I haven't told them that part yet. They know their dad went to help.

I'm interested to hear what was covered in school today now since it's a day of rememberance (not sure why they waited this long for it...)



I teach at the HS level. Pretty much the principal came on the morning announcements and said that we were commemorating 9/11 with a moment of silence per the new regulations set forth by the governor...

Posted 9/11/19 12:20 PM
 

LuckyStar
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Member since 7/14

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Age to talk about 9/11

My DD is young but I assumed it would be a fact of life sort of thing. It’s part of our history as Americans and New Yorkers.

Posted 9/11/19 1:06 PM
 

LuckyStar
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Member since 7/14

5906 total posts

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Re: Age to talk about 9/11

Posted by PitterPatter11

Posted by ali120206

Posted by lululu

We started talking to them about it since they could talk. I think I started with "this is a very sad day" and moved more towards the actual facts of the day as they got older. I probably told them about a lot of people being killed when they were about 4. I was there that day though and I think it's very important for the next generation to understand what happened.



Just a question - did you tell your kids you were there that day? I was as well, and I haven't told them that part yet. They know their dad went to help.

I'm interested to hear what was covered in school today now since it's a day of rememberance (not sure why they waited this long for it...)



I teach at the HS level. Pretty much the principal came on the morning announcements and said that we were commemorating 9/11 with a moment of silence per the new regulations set forth by the governor...



She just said they were having the moment of silence because the governor mandated it? That’s odd, no? They wouldn’t have acknowledged the day if it weren’t required?

Posted 9/11/19 1:08 PM
 

Katareen
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Katherine

Re: Age to talk about 9/11

Posted by LuckyStar

Posted by PitterPatter11

Posted by ali120206

Posted by lululu

We started talking to them about it since they could talk. I think I started with "this is a very sad day" and moved more towards the actual facts of the day as they got older. I probably told them about a lot of people being killed when they were about 4. I was there that day though and I think it's very important for the next generation to understand what happened.



Just a question - did you tell your kids you were there that day? I was as well, and I haven't told them that part yet. They know their dad went to help.

I'm interested to hear what was covered in school today now since it's a day of rememberance (not sure why they waited this long for it...)



I teach at the HS level. Pretty much the principal came on the morning announcements and said that we were commemorating 9/11 with a moment of silence per the new regulations set forth by the governor...



She just said they were having the moment of silence because the governor mandated it? That’s odd, no? They wouldn’t have acknowledged the day if it weren’t required?



I agree, a very odd thing to say. Our school district has always acknowledged it.

Posted 9/11/19 1:11 PM
 

DiamondGirl
You are my I love you

Member since 7/09

18740 total posts

Name:
DiamondMama

Age to talk about 9/11

My son is 7, DD just turned 5. DS knows what 9/11 is, we explained it to him probably around 5, maybe younger. I spoke with my DD about it last night and this morning again. I told her to be sensitive that some people (thinking of school staff) might be having a hard day with memories of the day and some may even have lost friends and family in the attack. Her eyes got very big. I further explained that while it happened before she was born it very much effected many people who are in her life today.

Posted 9/11/19 1:50 PM
 

nraboni
Our family is complete!

Member since 10/09

6774 total posts

Name:
Nicole

Age to talk about 9/11

There is a documentary on tonight at 6pm on HBO regarding 9/11 and it's geared towards kids.

Posted 9/11/19 4:19 PM
 

PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!

Member since 5/11

6255 total posts

Name:
Momma <3

Re: Age to talk about 9/11

Posted by Katareen

Posted by LuckyStar

Posted by PitterPatter11

Posted by ali120206

Posted by lululu

We started talking to them about it since they could talk. I think I started with "this is a very sad day" and moved more towards the actual facts of the day as they got older. I probably told them about a lot of people being killed when they were about 4. I was there that day though and I think it's very important for the next generation to understand what happened.



Just a question - did you tell your kids you were there that day? I was as well, and I haven't told them that part yet. They know their dad went to help.

I'm interested to hear what was covered in school today now since it's a day of rememberance (not sure why they waited this long for it...)



I teach at the HS level. Pretty much the principal came on the morning announcements and said that we were commemorating 9/11 with a moment of silence per the new regulations set forth by the governor...



She just said they were having the moment of silence because the governor mandated it? That’s odd, no? They wouldn’t have acknowledged the day if it weren’t required?



I agree, a very odd thing to say. Our school district has always acknowledged it.



We have always acknowledged it. She read the significance of the day and why the state has set forth the new regulations and what those regulations are. She didn't literally say "we are only doing this because it is mandated." I was just implying that her "script" was school appropriate and that you probably do not need to be concerned that they went into extensive details - especially in lower grades.

Message edited 9/11/2019 5:49:07 PM.

Posted 9/11/19 5:48 PM
 

StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!

Member since 6/10

20879 total posts

Name:
Stacey

Age to talk about 9/11

We've talked about it ever since she was old enough to understand.
I just asked her if they talked about it in school, and she said they wrote a paragraph about it. She doesn't remember what she wrote though.

Posted 9/11/19 7:49 PM
 

Hofstra26
Take Me To Disney!

Member since 7/06

24208 total posts

Name:
Kristen

Re: Age to talk about 9/11

We have spoken to our kids about 9/11 from a very young age. My daughter especially was acutely aware of the heaviness of that day from a young age and always had a lot of questions. We were honest with them about what happened, we talked about why it's a sad, hard day for so many Americans and we also talked about all of the amazing people that came to the rescue of so many. DH and I talked to them about where we were that day, about how we felt and who we knew that was lost because we felt it was important for them to understand the very real human side of this tragic event. I didn't want them to see it as just this thing that happened but instead to understand why it was such a devastating and heartbreaking day to live through as an American citizen.

To that end, I HIGHLY recommend bringing your children to the 9/11 memorial site and museum. It is such a moving, touching and incredible experience. I cannot say enough about how it feels to be in a place that holds so much sadness but at the same time, so much strength. The survivors who work at the museum are so wonderful, they are esecially great with the little ones. We had a lovely woman sit down with our kids (who were only 3 and 7 at the time) and explain to them the events of that day and her experience as a survivor. She spoke to them so gently and made everything she told them very kid friendly. She showed them some of the beautiful artwork in the kids area and praised the heroes that day who did so much. It was just really incredible.

Now that they are older I am looking forward to bringing them back, I think it'll have even more of an impact on them now than before. Although they weren't born at the time of 9/11 I think it's important that they too, "Never Forget".

Posted 9/12/19 1:32 PM
 

justbeachy
So close....

Member since 7/07

2890 total posts

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Re: Age to talk about 9/11

I have to say I'm so surprised by the responses. I commend the parents who have talked to their kids about it. Did any of your kids get scared?

My DD is almost 7. We have not truly talked about it with her. We've hesitated because it's a really scary and heavy topic for her to digest. She knows it's a sad day where we remember many people who have passed away. And that we honor the heroes who saved many people on that day. But I havent talked about what actually took place on that day.

And I cannot/will not bring her to the museum for a long long time. Maybe that's my projection....I was so deeply affected and upset from visiting the museum. I would have a really difficult time explaining and answering the questions she'll have from visiting it.

Posted 9/12/19 9:24 PM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

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..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: Age to talk about 9/11

Posted by justbeachy

I have to say I'm so surprised by the responses. I commend the parents who have talked to their kids about it. Did any of your kids get scared?

My DD is almost 7. We have not truly talked about it with her. We've hesitated because it's a really scary and heavy topic for her to digest. She knows it's a sad day where we remember many people who have passed away. And that we honor the heroes who saved many people on that day. But I havent talked about what actually took place on that day.

And I cannot/will not bring her to the museum for a long long time. Maybe that's my projection....I was so deeply affected and upset from visiting the museum. I would have a really difficult time explaining and answering the questions she'll have from visiting it.



I'm with you. DD scares easily. The last thing I need is her being scared to get on a plane or scared to go to the city, etc. As it is, I have anxiety that will disable me if I let it.
I let the school handle it- I am not sure what they did yesterday, I forgot to ask her and she didn't mention it either.

Posted 9/12/19 9:55 PM
 

Dani922
Here's to new beginnings

Member since 10/07

7251 total posts

Name:
Danielle

Age to talk about 9/11

My son is 10 & in 5th. On Monday his homework was to interview someone who lived thru 9/11. Now he's known about it before. Bad people flew planes into the towers. A lot of people died. But that was the extent I thought he could really process.

Well on Monday, he got the whole story. He knows where I was when it happened. I explained to him that his grandpa was on the bridge heading into the city & saw the smoke from the bridge. He knows how scared we all were. And I openly cried explaining to him that my childhood best friend lost her father in tower 2 & how awful the funeral was. He hugged me. I could tell he really understood the magnitude. And he was able to handle it at 10. They had a firefighter & a cop visit their classroom the next day to talk about 9/11 & after our chat, he wanted to talk about questions he could ask them about it.

I have not taken them to the museum yet. I cried from the time I entered until about 10 minutes after leaving. My daughter is 14 & has visited the Holocaust Museum so I believe she could handle it. I think after our talk my son may be ready too. I'll probably consider taking them sometime within the next year. But for a child under 10/11 I don't think I would even consider that.

TLDR, summary- it probably depends on the child. While my daughter asked questions & understood younger than 10, for my son this is the age he truly gets it & is ready to really talk.

Message edited 9/12/2019 10:16:59 PM.

Posted 9/12/19 10:09 PM
 

Hofstra26
Take Me To Disney!

Member since 7/06

24208 total posts

Name:
Kristen

Re: Age to talk about 9/11

Posted by justbeachy

I have to say I'm so surprised by the responses. I commend the parents who have talked to their kids about it. Did any of your kids get scared?

My DD is almost 7. We have not truly talked about it with her. We've hesitated because it's a really scary and heavy topic for her to digest. She knows it's a sad day where we remember many people who have passed away. And that we honor the heroes who saved many people on that day. But I havent talked about what actually took place on that day.

And I cannot/will not bring her to the museum for a long long time. Maybe that's my projection....I was so deeply affected and upset from visiting the museum. I would have a really difficult time explaining and answering the questions she'll have from visiting it.



I feel like it's impossible to shield them from the events of that day, they see coverage on the news every September 11th and they talk about it in school so it just made sense to us to speak to them at a young age. My son is just 6 so we kept things fairly basic with him and focused more on the heroes of that day however, we did show him some pics (that weren't too graphic or scary) so that he understood what happened.

I totally get what you're saying, it's such a horrific event and as such everyone deals with it and speaks about it (or not) in their own way. My kids just happened to be really curious about it throughout the years so we felt it best to just talk with them. Yesterday my son came home and asked why so many people were sad and why teachers had tears in their eyes. It just made sense to talk to him and be honest. Do what you're comfortable with and in your own time, there is no right or wrong here. Chat Icon

Posted 9/12/19 10:51 PM
 

LIRascal
drama. daily.

Member since 3/11

7124 total posts

Name:
Michelle

Age to talk about 9/11

6 1/2, just this year.
I did it in a way they could handle, and I explained that last night's memorial was a sad occasion, not a celebration (they distributed programs and candles)

Posted 9/12/19 11:16 PM
 

lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

7181 total posts

Name:

Re: Age to talk about 9/11

Posted by ali120206

Posted by lululu

We started talking to them about it since they could talk. I think I started with "this is a very sad day" and moved more towards the actual facts of the day as they got older. I probably told them about a lot of people being killed when they were about 4. I was there that day though and I think it's very important for the next generation to understand what happened.



Just a question - did you tell your kids you were there that day? I was as well, and I haven't told them that part yet. They know their dad went to help.

I'm interested to hear what was covered in school today now since it's a day of rememberance (not sure why they waited this long for it...)



Yes they know I was there that day. I tell them about my experience of the day. I think that it's important they understand the significance of it and how close to home this was. I don't say anything that will scare them or make them feel unsafe. There were a lot of 9/11 victims in my town as a lot of people work downtown and then subsequent to 9/11 we had a young man enlist in the army and die in Iraq. A lot of things are named for him including the playground at my children's school so we discuss that as well.

Posted 9/13/19 9:52 AM
 

DiamondGirl
You are my I love you

Member since 7/09

18740 total posts

Name:
DiamondMama

Re: Age to talk about 9/11

Posted by justbeachy

I have to say I'm so surprised by the responses. I commend the parents who have talked to their kids about it. Did any of your kids get scared?

My DD is almost 7. We have not truly talked about it with her. We've hesitated because it's a really scary and heavy topic for her to digest. She knows it's a sad day where we remember many people who have passed away. And that we honor the heroes who saved many people on that day. But I havent talked about what actually took place on that day.

And I cannot/will not bring her to the museum for a long long time. Maybe that's my projection....I was so deeply affected and upset from visiting the museum. I would have a really difficult time explaining and answering the questions she'll have from visiting it.



When we explained it to my son for the first time it did not seem to scare him so much as confuse him, it seemed so long ago maybe or like something in a movie, I cant explain. My DD now 5 had a similar reaction.

My son will be 8 next month and this year he asked me very specific questions about it and I could see the true fear in him, I guess he is able to really understand and process what it was now that he is a little older wheras my DD sort of shrugged it off.

Posted 9/13/19 10:20 AM
 

LuckyStar
LIF Adult

Member since 7/14

5906 total posts

Name:

Re: Age to talk about 9/11

Posted by lululu

Posted by ali120206

Posted by lululu

We started talking to them about it since they could talk. I think I started with "this is a very sad day" and moved more towards the actual facts of the day as they got older. I probably told them about a lot of people being killed when they were about 4. I was there that day though and I think it's very important for the next generation to understand what happened.



Just a question - did you tell your kids you were there that day? I was as well, and I haven't told them that part yet. They know their dad went to help.

I'm interested to hear what was covered in school today now since it's a day of rememberance (not sure why they waited this long for it...)



Yes they know I was there that day. I tell them about my experience of the day. I think that it's important they understand the significance of it and how close to home this was. I don't say anything that will scare them or make them feel unsafe. There were a lot of 9/11 victims in my town as a lot of people work downtown and then subsequent to 9/11 we had a young man enlist in the army and die in Iraq. A lot of things are named for him including the playground at my children's school so we discuss that as well.



This. I saw the towers fall from my classroom window. I saw spots falling from the building. They were people jumping. The local fire house lost almost all their men. I feel strongly that she should understand the impact that this had on the world. I won’t raise an ignorant child. I’m not going to go tell her now but when she’s old enough she should hear these stories. That’s how we ensure the victims are remembered.

I work in the cancer realm and whenever I go on fb I see those pages of children who have passed. I always read their stories. Always. As gut wrenching as they are, they deserve to have their stories read. They deserve that respect and those prayers. I feel the same way about the 9/11 victims. They deserve to have their stores shared. That’s how we honor them. Our children can’t have respect for things they don’t understand.

Posted 9/13/19 10:23 AM
 

AngnShaun
Sisters

Member since 1/10

21014 total posts

Name:
Ang

Age to talk about 9/11

Hailey is in first grade and she came home on the 10th asking me about it. She said what happend to those buildings that were hit by planes. SHe said the teacher told her theyd be having a moment of silence the next morning. So she asked me about it and i told her. She wanted to see a picture. I told her later when my husband got home.

She was shocked and had a wide eyed look on her face. She didnt get upset until we talked about the firemen that died. It was because my husband is a Firefighter. She asked him to switch jobs.

Posted 9/19/19 8:17 AM
 

KGools
Happy

Member since 9/06

9526 total posts

Name:
Kim

Re: Age to talk about 9/11

Posted by justbeachy

I have to say I'm so surprised by the responses. I commend the parents who have talked to their kids about it. Did any of your kids get scared?

My DD is almost 7. We have not truly talked about it with her. We've hesitated because it's a really scary and heavy topic for her to digest. She knows it's a sad day where we remember many people who have passed away. And that we honor the heroes who saved many people on that day. But I havent talked about what actually took place on that day.

And I cannot/will not bring her to the museum for a long long time. Maybe that's my projection....I was so deeply affected and upset from visiting the museum. I would have a really difficult time explaining and answering the questions she'll have from visiting it.



We have always hesitated as well, until this year. DS is 9 and he came home with a ton of questions. This week, he came home with a library book about it and I let him watch the HBO doc that was geared towards kids. He is truly trying to understand how/why someone can orchestrate such a terrible act. So much of it he still cannot comprehend and it confuses him, but I let him lead the conversation and we answer any questions he has as best we can.

Posted 9/19/19 3:09 PM
 

ali120206
2 Boys

Member since 7/06

15396 total posts

Name:

Re: Age to talk about 9/11

Posted by LuckyStar

Posted by lululu

Posted by ali120206

Posted by lululu

We started talking to them about it since they could talk. I think I started with "this is a very sad day" and moved more towards the actual facts of the day as they got older. I probably told them about a lot of people being killed when they were about 4. I was there that day though and I think it's very important for the next generation to understand what happened.



Just a question - did you tell your kids you were there that day? I was as well, and I haven't told them that part yet. They know their dad went to help.

I'm interested to hear what was covered in school today now since it's a day of rememberance (not sure why they waited this long for it...)



Yes they know I was there that day. I tell them about my experience of the day. I think that it's important they understand the significance of it and how close to home this was. I don't say anything that will scare them or make them feel unsafe. There were a lot of 9/11 victims in my town as a lot of people work downtown and then subsequent to 9/11 we had a young man enlist in the army and die in Iraq. A lot of things are named for him including the playground at my children's school so we discuss that as well.



This. I saw the towers fall from my classroom window. I saw spots falling from the building. They were people jumping. The local fire house lost almost all their men. I feel strongly that she should understand the impact that this had on the world. I won’t raise an ignorant child. I’m not going to go tell her now but when she’s old enough she should hear these stories. That’s how we ensure the victims are remembered.

I work in the cancer realm and whenever I go on fb I see those pages of children who have passed. I always read their stories. Always. As gut wrenching as they are, they deserve to have their stories read. They deserve that respect and those prayers. I feel the same way about the 9/11 victims. They deserve to have their stores shared. That’s how we honor them. Our children can’t have respect for things they don’t understand.



Thanks Lulu.

LuckyStar - My kids do know about that day, about our lost family members, friends, first responders, etc so I wouldn't call them ignorant - they've been to the memorial, we've discussed it and they've asked questions. I just didn't fill them in that I saw it first hand.

Message edited 9/19/2019 3:38:54 PM.

Posted 9/19/19 3:38 PM
 
 

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