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Sash
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Sash
Posted by Mill188
I might have a crusty old hoo ha, but I don't think it's appropriate for a 10 year old boy to be in the ladies room. Sorry - I don't feel comfortable with it.
While I’m personally not bothered by it if you have your son in the restroom, I do know it would make my niece feel uncomfortable if she saw a 10+yr old in the bathroom. What about the younger girls we are teaching at that age about privacy?
I also think at some point you have to draw the line with boys on what’s appropriate and what’s not. One of my major concern is my son in getting in big trouble for a misunderstanding .
I agree but there is privacy in there. The stalls.
If it was an open locker room, shower, dressing room with no doors, I get it.
But a bathroom has private stalls.
So yes, teach your son not to crawl or look under the stalls, teach your daughters to go in a stall and lock the door, but other than that I don't see a privacy concern.
I honestly don't even know why there are separate ladies and men's rooms at all.
What is so private that you can't pee next to a man in the next stall?
Nobody is naked.
If my son went into the girl bathroom in school he would get in trouble, so therefore he will not do it at a public place either. Yes it’s private stalls and I for one don’t care but there are some younger girls who would feel uncomfortable. So my 10yr old is not going into a ladies bathroom that is designated for females.
Respect people privacy and don’t make someone feel uncomfortable, especially when technically he’s not allowed in there.
That’s what I mean by privacy, not that he’s in there grabbing boobs and seeing lady parts.
There are men’s bathroom who only have stalls and I would never have my 10yr old niece go in there to use the bathroom.
It’s just my opinion and how I am raising him. Everyone parents differently. And you really never know how the bathroom is set up. It’s different when you have a boy vs girl. You worried about different things.
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Posted 4/23/19 11:32 AM  |
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LuckyStar
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Member since 7/14 7272 total posts
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Sash
Posted by Mill188
I might have a crusty old hoo ha, but I don't think it's appropriate for a 10 year old boy to be in the ladies room. Sorry - I don't feel comfortable with it.
While I’m personally not bothered by it if you have your son in the restroom, I do know it would make my niece feel uncomfortable if she saw a 10+yr old in the bathroom. What about the younger girls we are teaching at that age about privacy?
I also think at some point you have to draw the line with boys on what’s appropriate and what’s not. One of my major concern is my son in getting in big trouble for a misunderstanding .
I agree but there is privacy in there. The stalls.
If it was an open locker room, shower, dressing room with no doors, I get it.
But a bathroom has private stalls.
So yes, teach your son not to crawl or look under the stalls, teach your daughters to go in a stall and lock the door, but other than that I don't see a privacy concern.
I honestly don't even know why there are separate ladies and men's rooms at all.
What is so private that you can't pee next to a man in the next stall?
Nobody is naked.
I agree. We should be teaching all children about privacy. No one, boy or girl should crawl under stalls. Everyone should lock the door.
As the mother of a daughter, I have no issue with a boy using the ladies room with his mom and my daughter witnessing it. And to really ruffle feathers, I would also explain to her that some people who look like boys might consider themselves girls and they are allowed to use the ladies room as well. They aren’t there to make us uncomfortable or do bad things. They just need to use the bathroom. NBD.
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| Posted 4/23/19 11:33 AM |
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NervousNell
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Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
I think the bottom line here is she doesn't want to leave her 10 year old alone in Penn Station.
God forbid something happened to the child, would anyone's need for "privacy" in a bathroom that already has private stalls been more important than the safety of her child?
I don't think so.
Never once in a bathroom have I glimpsed a vag or a boob or anything else that I would be uncomfortable with a young boy or even a grown man seeing.
The most you will see is people's feet.
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| Posted 4/23/19 11:46 AM |
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Mill188
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Member since 3/09 3072 total posts
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Mill188
I might have a crusty old hoo ha, but I don't think it's appropriate for a 10 year old boy to be in the ladies room. Sorry - I don't feel comfortable with it.
If you are in a stall though- why?
What could the child be seeing?
Are you worried he will crawl under the stall and see something?
I am just uncomfortable with it. I don't care about someone "seeing something." I won't even pee in front of my husband.
To reverse it - would everyone be ok with a little girl going into a men's room?
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| Posted 4/23/19 11:48 AM |
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LuckyStar
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Member since 7/14 7272 total posts
Name:
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
Posted by Mill188
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Mill188
I might have a crusty old hoo ha, but I don't think it's appropriate for a 10 year old boy to be in the ladies room. Sorry - I don't feel comfortable with it.
If you are in a stall though- why?
What could the child be seeing?
Are you worried he will crawl under the stall and see something?
I am just uncomfortable with it. I don't care about someone "seeing something." I won't even pee in front of my husband.
To reverse it - would everyone be ok with a little girl going into a men's room?
If the options were leaving her alone in Penn station or DH taking her into the men’s room, I would choose the men’s room.
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| Posted 4/23/19 11:54 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
Posted by Mill188
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Mill188
I might have a crusty old hoo ha, but I don't think it's appropriate for a 10 year old boy to be in the ladies room. Sorry - I don't feel comfortable with it.
If you are in a stall though- why?
What could the child be seeing?
Are you worried he will crawl under the stall and see something?
I am just uncomfortable with it. I don't care about someone "seeing something." I won't even pee in front of my husband.
To reverse it - would everyone be ok with a little girl going into a men's room?
I would. My DH has had to take my DD in when he was alone with her. What was he supposed to do?
My child's safety trumps other people's prudeness and/or fear of peeing in front of others.
Every. Single. Time. I'm sorry to say, but it's true
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| Posted 4/23/19 11:54 AM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
It’s not about what you see and I left my son outside of the bathroom in a busy place. She asked what you would do and I said what I do. It’s my opinion l, the reason people post questions on the forum. I don’t need anyone debating my reasons for why I don’t let a 10yr old boy who is probably going through puberty in a female only bathroom.
And at this point my son isn’t confused or identifies as a girl so that doesn’t apply to him.
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| Posted 4/23/19 11:56 AM |
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Mill188
LIF Adult
Member since 3/09 3072 total posts
Name:
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Mill188
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Mill188
I might have a crusty old hoo ha, but I don't think it's appropriate for a 10 year old boy to be in the ladies room. Sorry - I don't feel comfortable with it.
If you are in a stall though- why?
What could the child be seeing?
Are you worried he will crawl under the stall and see something?
I am just uncomfortable with it. I don't care about someone "seeing something." I won't even pee in front of my husband.
To reverse it - would everyone be ok with a little girl going into a men's room?
I would. My DH has had to take my DD in when he was alone with her. What was he supposed to do?
My child's safety trumps other people's prudeness and/or fear of peeing in front of others.
Every. Single. Time. I'm sorry to say, but it's true
As it should be. That's your right. Just as it is my right to be uncomfortable and not be ok with it.
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| Posted 4/23/19 11:59 AM |
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
Posted by Sash
My son stop going into a ladies room at 9. In my opinion 10yrs old is too old to be going into a ladies. I was never in your situation so idk what I would do.
But actually my son waited for me outside of Seattle airport bathroom when we were travelling to Canada in Feb.
I agree
If I am not comfortable (aka like Penn Station) I try to find a Starbucks which have single bathrooms and then I stay outside
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| Posted 4/23/19 12:20 PM |
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w8andsee
LIF Adult
Member since 10/09 1193 total posts
Name:
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
Posted by Mill188
I am just uncomfortable with it. I don't care about someone "seeing something." I won't even pee in front of my husband.
To reverse it - would everyone be ok with a little girl going into a men's room?
Yes, of course! What is a dad to do if its just him and his daughter? Close your eyes we're going in.
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| Posted 4/23/19 12:20 PM |
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
Posted by NervousNell
I think the bottom line here is she doesn't want to leave her 10 year old alone in Penn Station.
God forbid something happened to the child, would anyone's need for "privacy" in a bathroom that already has private stalls been more important than the safety of her child?
I don't think so.
Never once in a bathroom have I glimpsed a vag or a boob or anything else that I would be uncomfortable with a young boy or even a grown man seeing.
The most you will see is people's feet.
But it's also NYC, you can find a single stall bathroom and stand outside if you don't want to use a big place bathroom.
I take my kids into the city all the time (I work here) and I would do that. Starbucks, McDonald's, etc.
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| Posted 4/23/19 12:27 PM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
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Bathroom etiquette w child?
Its only for a few minutes, so I think it should definitely be fine for him to come inside the ladies room and just wait near the sinks or hand dryer. He doesnt need to come in the stall with you or wait right near the stalls. But even if it did make some people uncomfortable, his safety is more important, so I wouldnt leave him outside the bathroom alone at that age.
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| Posted 4/23/19 12:38 PM |
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Katareen
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Katherine
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
Posted by Sash
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Sash
Posted by Mill188
I might have a crusty old hoo ha, but I don't think it's appropriate for a 10 year old boy to be in the ladies room. Sorry - I don't feel comfortable with it.
While I’m personally not bothered by it if you have your son in the restroom, I do know it would make my niece feel uncomfortable if she saw a 10+yr old in the bathroom. What about the younger girls we are teaching at that age about privacy?
I also think at some point you have to draw the line with boys on what’s appropriate and what’s not. One of my major concern is my son in getting in big trouble for a misunderstanding .
I agree but there is privacy in there. The stalls.
If it was an open locker room, shower, dressing room with no doors, I get it.
But a bathroom has private stalls.
So yes, teach your son not to crawl or look under the stalls, teach your daughters to go in a stall and lock the door, but other than that I don't see a privacy concern.
I honestly don't even know why there are separate ladies and men's rooms at all.
What is so private that you can't pee next to a man in the next stall?
Nobody is naked.
If my son went into the girl bathroom in school he would get in trouble, so therefore he will not do it at a public place either. Yes it’s private stalls and I for one don’t care but there are some younger girls who would feel uncomfortable. So my 10yr old is not going into a ladies bathroom that is designated for females.
Respect people privacy and don’t make someone feel uncomfortable, especially when technically he’s not allowed in there.
That’s what I mean by privacy, not that he’s in there grabbing boobs and seeing lady parts.
There are men’s bathroom who only have stalls and I would never have my 10yr old niece go in there to use the bathroom.
It’s just my opinion and how I am raising him. Everyone parents differently. And you really never know how the bathroom is set up. It’s different when you have a boy vs girl. You worried about different things.
We just have to agree to disagree but you absolutely cannot even try to compare a public restroom at Penn Station to an elementary school bathroom.
I also don’t think it’s incorrect to let kids know that sometimes there are different rules in different places depending on the situation.
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| Posted 4/23/19 12:50 PM |
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
Pls. And if you left him in the middle of Pennsylvania station while you went to pee someone would be calling child services on you
Do what you gotta do
Mine is almost 9. At a place like that If I’m alone they’re coming with me. Period.
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| Posted 4/23/19 1:14 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
Posted by Katareen
Posted by Sash
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Sash
Posted by Mill188
I might have a crusty old hoo ha, but I don't think it's appropriate for a 10 year old boy to be in the ladies room. Sorry - I don't feel comfortable with it.
While I’m personally not bothered by it if you have your son in the restroom, I do know it would make my niece feel uncomfortable if she saw a 10+yr old in the bathroom. What about the younger girls we are teaching at that age about privacy?
I also think at some point you have to draw the line with boys on what’s appropriate and what’s not. One of my major concern is my son in getting in big trouble for a misunderstanding .
I agree but there is privacy in there. The stalls.
If it was an open locker room, shower, dressing room with no doors, I get it.
But a bathroom has private stalls.
So yes, teach your son not to crawl or look under the stalls, teach your daughters to go in a stall and lock the door, but other than that I don't see a privacy concern.
I honestly don't even know why there are separate ladies and men's rooms at all.
What is so private that you can't pee next to a man in the next stall?
Nobody is naked.
If my son went into the girl bathroom in school he would get in trouble, so therefore he will not do it at a public place either. Yes it’s private stalls and I for one don’t care but there are some younger girls who would feel uncomfortable. So my 10yr old is not going into a ladies bathroom that is designated for females.
Respect people privacy and don’t make someone feel uncomfortable, especially when technically he’s not allowed in there.
That’s what I mean by privacy, not that he’s in there grabbing boobs and seeing lady parts.
There are men’s bathroom who only have stalls and I would never have my 10yr old niece go in there to use the bathroom.
It’s just my opinion and how I am raising him. Everyone parents differently. And you really never know how the bathroom is set up. It’s different when you have a boy vs girl. You worried about different things.
We just have to agree to disagree but you absolutely cannot even try to compare a public restroom at Penn Station to an elementary school bathroom.
I also don’t think it’s incorrect to let kids know that sometimes there are different rules in different places depending on the situation.
I’m fine with disagreeing, I never picked apart anyone who said they will still take their kid into the bathroom. My issue is people all in my sh!t because I don’t agree. You take your son into a bathroom, i won’t take mine. No big deal, I don’t have to agree or care because it’s not my kid.
ETA: to me it’s the same you aren’t allowed in girls bathroom and he is older and aware. Sorry the minute He started taking “longer showers” was the minute I realized that I am raising a young man.
Message edited 4/23/2019 1:37:00 PM.
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| Posted 4/23/19 1:33 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by Sash
My son stop going into a ladies room at 9. In my opinion 10yrs old is too old to be going into a ladies. I was never in your situation so idk what I would do.
But actually my son waited for me outside of Seattle airport bathroom when we were travelling to Canada in Feb.
I agree
If I am not comfortable (aka like Penn Station) I try to find a Starbucks which have single bathrooms and then I stay outside
That’s what I would do as well. And like I said my son stood outside in a busy airport while I went to the bathroom.
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| Posted 4/23/19 1:35 PM |
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MC09
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
He's 10. Take him in the ladies room with you and don't give it a second thought. Same goes for girls with their dads. It's really no big deal and your child's safety is your main priority, not some dirty looks or commentary from strangers. Who even cares what they have to say? What are people doing in there that has others up in arms about privacy?? Are they squatting over a hole in the ground in the middle of the room?? I have never seen a single public restroom anywhere in the U.S. where people's genitals are flapping out in the wind for everyone else in the room to admire. The stalls themselves provide more than enough privacy.
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| Posted 4/23/19 2:02 PM |
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LSP2005
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
My son is 11 and has used the mens room on his own since 7 years old, even at the mall. He would be upset to go into a ladies room. I just would not go to the bathroom in Penn station, and go somewhere else. I would never want to use those restrooms anyway, so it just would not happen where I am leaving my kid in Penn station to use the rest room. I would plan to use the rest room at my destination or hold off for the train restroom where there are fewer people.
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| Posted 4/23/19 3:55 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
Posted by LSP2005
My son is 11 and has used the mens room on his own since 7 years old, even at the mall. He would be upset to go into a ladies room. I just would not go to the bathroom in Penn station, and go somewhere else. I would never want to use those restrooms anyway, so it just would not happen where I am leaving my kid in Penn station to use the rest room. I would plan to use the rest room at my destination or hold off for the train restroom where there are fewer people.
Honestly the rest rooms in Penn Station are WAY WAY cleaner than the ones on the train.
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| Posted 4/23/19 4:15 PM |
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JessT
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Member since 6/08 323 total posts
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
So trips over crisis averted. No one had too pee lol. I was concerned my little one would have to go and I was not comfortable leaving him outside. And honestly I’m not comfortable with him going in alone either. Like I said I do it other places other times. Just not a place like that. Thanks though for all the input!
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| Posted 4/23/19 6:14 PM |
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MaZz
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Member since 2/09 6243 total posts
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Gina
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Bathroom etiquette w child?
I find it odd being that’s hes older but i totally get it if it’s a place like penn station. Under normal circumstances, I would say he could go alone. I think family restrooms should be made every place for this very reason.
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| Posted 4/23/19 6:36 PM |
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ziamaria
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Bathroom etiquette w child?
do what makes you comfortable -- i'd bring him in and have him wait by the sinks, if he didn't need to use the restroom, himself. better safe than sorry
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| Posted 4/23/19 6:55 PM |
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Mrs213
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Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
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Bathroom etiquette w child?
No way would I leave a 10 yr old unattended in a public place, I may be paranoid but that’s me. I agree with OP
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| Posted 4/23/19 7:31 PM |
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Dolphinsbaby
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
He would be going in with me. My twins are 7 and I wouldn’t even let them go in together alone in a crowded public place. On a side note, my youngest who has autism will be turning 6 soon. I will be having to take him into the rest room when he is a teenager and adult. I often think about what people will think but I really don’t/won’t have a choice. First of all, there are times I have to go and he can’t be left alone obviously. He actually has to be in the stall with me because he is an eloper. Secondly, he can’t hold it in. Yes, this may change as he gets older (he has only been fully potty trained for about a year) and he has still has accidents. My point is I would never judge someone. To each their own.
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| Posted 4/23/19 8:04 PM |
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Jacksmommy
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
My 10 year old will in no way ever want to go with me into a bathroom. I think in the last year, ONE time that has happened. My kid also looks like hes a teenager and is taller than some women. My five year old comes with me. ETA: if it is a place like PENN station, I make him hold it. I don't even want to go in there!
Message edited 4/23/2019 8:13:37 PM.
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| Posted 4/23/19 8:12 PM |
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