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HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!

Member since 9/07

7816 total posts

Name:
Jenn

edited

Thanks for the responses! Original post deleted.

Message edited 4/9/2019 11:12:29 AM.

Posted 4/1/19 11:10 AM
 
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Kathy042806
LIF Adult

Member since 5/06

1408 total posts

Name:
Kathy

Re: Anyone a family/divorce lawyer or know anything about child custody and relocation laws in NY?

I'm not familiar with your situation personally but I can almost bet that no judge will want a disruption like that. They look for stability, and a whole change of scenery especially when it's the parent's decision to go is probably not in the child's best interest. I could never be on board with that either. I have a lawyer that was recommended to me on this board if you need one. She's great, fm me if you need her name. Btw, what does your son want? Does he know anything?

Posted 4/1/19 11:52 AM
 

TwinMommyToBoys
LIF Adult

Member since 12/16

2002 total posts

Name:

Anyone a family/divorce lawyer or know anything about child custody and relocation laws in NY?

I wouldn’t be on board either but a friend of mine is divorced and her DX moved to Florida and because it was the parents choice to move, physical custody was given to her and the Ex gets 2 weeks in the summer. I would not allow my child to move to another state. They would have to put me in jail before I would let it happen. Not only that, your son has services and if he’s doing well current state why move him. Usually a child’s life is disrupted as little as possible

Posted 4/1/19 12:20 PM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

48322 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: Anyone a family/divorce lawyer or know anything about child custody and relocation laws in NY?

Yeah you can forget that shit. No fuking way. Just see my DD in the summer?? GTFOH

In all honestly though, I doubt any judge in their right mind would allow this for several reasons, the first and foremost being your son's services that you have in the district, his issues, and the disruption this would cause to his life.
I would get notes from his doctors, therapists, school social workers, whatever you need to if it came down to it.
In addition from what I have heard, it's rare to take a child from their mother unless there are some pretty severe extenuating circumstances.

I am no lawyer, but I feel like you have a pretty strong case here.


Message edited 4/1/2019 12:39:11 PM.

Posted 4/1/19 12:31 PM
 

Straightarrow
LIF Adult

Member since 2/11

3346 total posts

Name:

Re: Anyone a family/divorce lawyer or know anything about child custody and relocation laws in NY?

They are not going to uproot him from his school and life.

I know it is stressful, but they want things to be the easiest for the child.

Also, it's not a guarantee but it is very hard to take a child from their mother. My SO's son would be 1,000 times better with us, but the court denies it every single time.

Posted 4/1/19 12:36 PM
 

HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!

Member since 9/07

7816 total posts

Name:
Jenn

Re: Anyone a family/divorce lawyer or know anything about child custody and relocation laws in NY?

Thank you for the responses so far!

Also, for clarification, not sure if this matters, but even if I was awarded custody, DS would have to switch school districts from his current one. I'm a few towns over from his current district, but both districts are rated very highly and his IEP would just transfer to the new district since its still in NY state.

Posted 4/1/19 12:59 PM
 

Straightarrow
LIF Adult

Member since 2/11

3346 total posts

Name:

Re: Anyone a family/divorce lawyer or know anything about child custody and relocation laws in NY?

Posted by HomeIsWithU

Thank you for the responses so far!

Also, for clarification, not sure if this matters, but even if I was awarded custody, DS would have to switch school districts from his current one. I'm a few towns over from his current district, but both districts are rated very highly and his IEP would just transfer to the new district since its still in NY state.




I caught that, I don't think that is such a big deal in the big picture.

I also know with my SO's son, they don't like moving kids from one state to another (and we'd just be NJ to NY if he came to live with us)

Also, I'd file for child support if you don't get it now and file for joint custody with you having sole residential custody.

Posted 4/1/19 1:03 PM
 

ali120206
2 Boys

Member since 7/06

15399 total posts

Name:

Anyone a family/divorce lawyer or know anything about child custody and relocation laws in NY?

I’m sorry - I would be so mad. It’s a huge change that is being proposed. For you and for your DS.

Good luck! It seems like a huge disruption to move mid-year as well. Also schools outside of this area start/end earlier so they will likely be farther ahead in the school year.

Another thing to keep in mind is that South Carolina’s schools overall are ranked 48tj in the nation (they do have very good schools in certain areas - DH has been contemplating moving there so I’ve been looking) so depending on where they are choosing to relocate to is important as well (I would think coming from NY they would be looking in the areas with the best schools since they are the more popular areas for relocation).

Message edited 4/1/2019 8:38:06 PM.

Posted 4/1/19 8:34 PM
 

HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!

Member since 9/07

7816 total posts

Name:
Jenn

Re: Anyone a family/divorce lawyer or know anything about child custody and relocation laws in NY?

Posted by ali120206

I’m sorry - I would be so mad. It’s a huge change that is being proposed. For you and for your DS.

Good luck! It seems like a huge disruption to move mid-year as well. Also schools outside of this area start/end earlier so they will likely be farther ahead in the school year.

Another thing to keep in mind is that South Carolina’s schools overall are ranked 48tj in the nation (they do have very good schools in certain areas - DH has been contemplating moving there so I’ve been looking) so depending on where they are choosing to relocate to is important as well (I would think coming from NY they would be looking in the areas with the best schools since they are the more popular areas for relocation).



They're specifically looking at the Fort Mill area of SC. I haven't looked into it myself to confirm, but according to them it's the best school district in the state.

Posted 4/2/19 11:19 AM
 

ali120206
2 Boys

Member since 7/06

15399 total posts

Name:

Re: Anyone a family/divorce lawyer or know anything about child custody and relocation laws in NY?

Posted by HomeIsWithU

Posted by ali120206

I’m sorry - I would be so mad. It’s a huge change that is being proposed. For you and for your DS.

Good luck! It seems like a huge disruption to move mid-year as well. Also schools outside of this area start/end earlier so they will likely be farther ahead in the school year.

Another thing to keep in mind is that South Carolina’s schools overall are ranked 48tj in the nation (they do have very good schools in certain areas - DH has been contemplating moving there so I’ve been looking) so depending on where they are choosing to relocate to is important as well (I would think coming from NY they would be looking in the areas with the best schools since they are the more popular areas for relocation).



They're specifically looking at the Fort Mill area of SC. I haven't looked into it myself to confirm, but according to them it's the best school district in the state.




It is. It’s a Charlotte suburb.

Posted 4/2/19 11:30 AM
 

AliceCullen
LIF Adult

Member since 6/08

1367 total posts

Name:

Re: Anyone a family/divorce lawyer or know anything about child custody and relocation laws in NY?

Posted by HomeIsWithU

Posted by ali120206

I’m sorry - I would be so mad. It’s a huge change that is being proposed. For you and for your DS.

Good luck! It seems like a huge disruption to move mid-year as well. Also schools outside of this area start/end earlier so they will likely be farther ahead in the school year.

Another thing to keep in mind is that South Carolina’s schools overall are ranked 48tj in the nation (they do have very good schools in certain areas - DH has been contemplating moving there so I’ve been looking) so depending on where they are choosing to relocate to is important as well (I would think coming from NY they would be looking in the areas with the best schools since they are the more popular areas for relocation).



They're specifically looking at the Fort Mill area of SC. I haven't looked into it myself to confirm, but according to them it's the best school district in the state.




I don't care if it's the best school in the world. There's no way in he1l anyone would ever take my child away from me.

Posted 4/2/19 11:33 AM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

48322 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: Anyone a family/divorce lawyer or know anything about child custody and relocation laws in NY?

Posted by AliceCullen

Posted by HomeIsWithU

Posted by ali120206

I’m sorry - I would be so mad. It’s a huge change that is being proposed. For you and for your DS.

Good luck! It seems like a huge disruption to move mid-year as well. Also schools outside of this area start/end earlier so they will likely be farther ahead in the school year.

Another thing to keep in mind is that South Carolina’s schools overall are ranked 48tj in the nation (they do have very good schools in certain areas - DH has been contemplating moving there so I’ve been looking) so depending on where they are choosing to relocate to is important as well (I would think coming from NY they would be looking in the areas with the best schools since they are the more popular areas for relocation).



They're specifically looking at the Fort Mill area of SC. I haven't looked into it myself to confirm, but according to them it's the best school district in the state.




I don't care if it's the best school in the world. There's no way in he1l anyone would ever take my child away from me.



Yep! I don't know what kind of crack he is smoking that he would think a mother would be ok with this kind of arrangement.

Posted 4/2/19 11:35 AM
 

Katareen
5,000 Posts!

Member since 4/10

6494 total posts

Name:
Katherine

Anyone a family/divorce lawyer or know anything about child custody and relocation laws in NY?

Do you have any idea why he’s moving? You’ve been a part of LIF for a pretty long time and it seems like you and your ex have a very amicable relationship.
No matter what the outcome, your child is going to suffer. He’s used to seeing both of his parents/sibling very frequently, and will now not see one set for 8-9 months at a time?? How does he not think this will be extremely damaging to a child??
That being said, I am pretty sure that a judge will not allow him to pick up and move your son 5 states away from his home. Your ex is the one CHOOSING to move. There is no need to uproot his life just because he’s making this decision.

Posted 4/2/19 12:50 PM
 

LI2VA
Love my life!!

Member since 11/05

3125 total posts

Name:
Melissa

Anyone a family/divorce lawyer or know anything about child custody and relocation laws in NY?

I'd be telling him that I'll see him in court. No way a judge is going to allow that. They are going to do what in the best interest of the child and taking a child from their mother and school is not whats best.

I'd be fighting tooth and nail for this NOT to happen.

Posted 4/2/19 2:26 PM
 

HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!

Member since 9/07

7816 total posts

Name:
Jenn

Re: Anyone a family/divorce lawyer or know anything about child custody and relocation laws in NY?

Posted by Katareen

Do you have any idea why he’s moving? You’ve been a part of LIF for a pretty long time and it seems like you and your ex have a very amicable relationship.
No matter what the outcome, your child is going to suffer. He’s used to seeing both of his parents/sibling very frequently, and will now not see one set for 8-9 months at a time?? How does he not think this will be extremely damaging to a child??
That being said, I am pretty sure that a judge will not allow him to pick up and move your son 5 states away from his home. Your ex is the one CHOOSING to move. There is no need to uproot his life just because he’s making this decision.



You're right - we do have a pretty amicable relationship and he did contact me personally to explain the situation. He's moving basically because his financial situation is about to change dramatically due to one of his jobs ending. His wife doesn't work and his income is going to drastically reduce. They just can't afford to live in this area anymore. It was most-likely going to happen anyway, but he is also in local government and very recently there was a situation that forced him to announce that he will not be seeking re-election, so on top of his other job ending, now his primary source of income will be ending as well. So essentially, for financial reasons he's relocating.

Posted 4/3/19 9:22 AM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

48322 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: Anyone a family/divorce lawyer or know anything about child custody and relocation laws in NY?

Posted by HomeIsWithU

Posted by Katareen

Do you have any idea why he’s moving? You’ve been a part of LIF for a pretty long time and it seems like you and your ex have a very amicable relationship.
No matter what the outcome, your child is going to suffer. He’s used to seeing both of his parents/sibling very frequently, and will now not see one set for 8-9 months at a time?? How does he not think this will be extremely damaging to a child??
That being said, I am pretty sure that a judge will not allow him to pick up and move your son 5 states away from his home. Your ex is the one CHOOSING to move. There is no need to uproot his life just because he’s making this decision.



You're right - we do have a pretty amicable relationship and he did contact me personally to explain the situation. He's moving basically because his financial situation is about to change dramatically due to one of his jobs ending. His wife doesn't work and his income is going to drastically reduce. They just can't afford to live in this area anymore. It was most-likely going to happen anyway, but he is also in local government and very recently there was a situation that forced him to announce that he will not be seeking re-election, so on top of his other job ending, now his primary source of income will be ending as well. So essentially, for financial reasons he's relocating.



Again, none of this is your or your son's problem. Your son's life should not be uprooted because his wife doesn't bring any income to the table and they are struggling to afford to live here.
Too bad.
I seriously doubt any judge would allow this.
And as a mother I would fight to my dying breath against this.
I mean, he can't think you'd be ok with this.

Posted 4/3/19 9:28 AM
 

mrsrainbow
LIF Adult

Member since 1/17

955 total posts

Name:

Re: Anyone a family/divorce lawyer or know anything about child custody and relocation laws in NY?

I would be careful posting the details here because it was very easily Googled.

Don't give him any fodder. It also sounds like there is a lot more going on than just not seeking reelection, and I'd be very curious to know why he's gotta up and move to SC all because of choosing to not seek reelection. If he didn't win re-elections before, wouldn't you be in the same predicament? he would just be like, see ya can't stay? Doubtful.

It sounds fishy to me. Look our for yourself and your child.

Posted 4/3/19 9:59 AM
 

ali120206
2 Boys

Member since 7/06

15399 total posts

Name:

Anyone a family/divorce lawyer or know anything about child custody and relocation laws in NY?

Don’t want to quote pp but the reasoning she was given makes sense - SC treats pensions favorably, has lower housing costs and lower property taxes (we’ve been exploring the possibility of moving to the same area when DH is eligible for retirement)... so I wouldn’t call it fishy...

But I’m just curious as to what did he think your reaction would be - sure, that sounds great? I’m sure he had to realize that you wouldn’t be ok with this...

Posted 4/3/19 10:17 AM
 

HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!

Member since 9/07

7816 total posts

Name:
Jenn

Re: Anyone a family/divorce lawyer or know anything about child custody and relocation laws in NY?

Posted by ali120206

Don’t want to quote pp but the reasoning she was given makes sense - SC treats pensions favorably, has lower housing costs and lower property taxes (we’ve been exploring the possibility of moving to the same area when DH is eligible for retirement)... so I wouldn’t call it fishy...

But I’m just curious as to what did he think your reaction would be - sure, that sounds great? I’m sure he had to realize that you wouldn’t be ok with this...



I'm really not sure...DH and I were wondering the same thing... he couldn't possibly have thought that I would agree to something like that. I honestly hope between now and December he can figure out some way to stay up in this area. Even if I'm awarded custody and DS stays up here with me, I think this is going to effect him very deeply. He's used to seeing both his dad and I almost daily. Now he's suddenly going to go without seeing one of his parents, a step-parent, and his siblings for MONTHS on end. I can't even imagine how that's going to turn his world upside down.

Posted 4/4/19 9:25 AM
 

mrsrainbow
LIF Adult

Member since 1/17

955 total posts

Name:

Re: Anyone a family/divorce lawyer or know anything about child custody and relocation laws in NY?

Posted by HomeIsWithU

Posted by ali120206

Don’t want to quote pp but the reasoning she was given makes sense - SC treats pensions favorably, has lower housing costs and lower property taxes (we’ve been exploring the possibility of moving to the same area when DH is eligible for retirement)... so I wouldn’t call it fishy...

But I’m just curious as to what did he think your reaction would be - sure, that sounds great? I’m sure he had to realize that you wouldn’t be ok with this...



I'm really not sure...DH and I were wondering the same thing... he couldn't possibly have thought that I would agree to something like that. I honestly hope between now and December he can figure out some way to stay up in this area. Even if I'm awarded custody and DS stays up here with me, I think this is going to effect him very deeply. He's used to seeing both his dad and I almost daily. Now he's suddenly going to go without seeing one of his parents, a step-parent, and his siblings for MONTHS on end. I can't even imagine how that's going to turn his world upside down.



I would bet money its politically motivated that they want him to go to SC; not just cheaper living. What did he do before politics? I'm very curious why not seeking re-election would change anything, didn't he still have an income before?

Posted 4/4/19 12:26 PM
 
 

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