Annoying issue..how to address it

My son has a BFF whose family we have gotten very close with. I really like the parents so much. Really great people. But here's the issue. They have this little nasty dog. Even though the dog is like 20 lbs you can't even get in the door because the thing is jumping and barking and snarling. The dog bit me once when I was coming inside. Shortly after that happened, the dog bit my son on the hand and broke the skin and left a mark. With my son, I wasn't there, but she told me. She was very nonchalant about it. She's a very laid back person so, even though I was a little annoyed about the whole thing, I know that's her personality. Both of these incidents happened some time ago but I'm still leary of the dog.

I just picked my son up from a play date there. His whole face is scratched really bad. I immediately was like "what happened to your face?!" and the mom was like "Oh the dog scratched him while he was laying on the floor watching TV". Again, very casual. I'm really upset. His face is really scratched right around both eyes. He's lucky she didn't hurt his eyes. My son LOVES animals so I know he was not doing anything to hurt or antagonize it.

I don't know how to handle this. I know how people are with their animals. I don't want to offend them because I really like them a lot, but they need to do something about the dog. I don't believe for a second that my kid is the only person that dog has attacked. It's nasty. I don't know if they are just dismissive of its viciousness because its small? I feel like I can't let my son over there anymore which is going to cause a major problem because he loves being there. Should I tell her that if my son goes back she has to lock up the dog? I feel like that is a little forward and rude but I don't want my son attacked again. IDK. WWYD?

Annoying issue..how to address it

I definitely think based on what you said, the dog needs to be put away when other people are over. With that being said, I don't think giving her the ultimatum to "lock up the dog" will go over well. Can you perhaps have a discussion with her, state your concerns, and then ask if they would be willing to put the dog in a different room (maybe with like a baby gate up or something) while your son is there? I know it's basically the same thing you asked in your post, but I think it sounds much nicer this way, KWIM? Would it be weird for you to offer to purchase the baby gate? Maybe that would help initiate everything. I dunno, just thinking as I type. You're right that many people get very defensive when it comes to their animals.

Re: Annoying issue..how to address it

Interesting post...

I can’t imagine how the dog scratched up your kids face without your kid getting up and moving. Dogs don’t use their nails like cats do (to attack). Maybe he and his friend play with the dog and get hurt in the process? Is your kid upset by the bites and scratches?

If your kid isn’t messing around with the dog (not antagonizing but maybe horseplay)... I would move the play dates to your house. My DD has a friend with an older brother who SHOT my kid in her face with a nerf gun. Left a welt for a few days. She will not go there anymore, but her friend is welcome to come here.

Message edited 12/1/2018 3:40:31 PM.

Re: Annoying issue..how to address it

I’d come right out and say that the dog needs to go outside if I’m ever coming over again. Man, I’d kick that dog across the room... I swear, people are just so damn dumb when it comes to their animals.

Re: Annoying issue..how to address it

Annoying issue..how to address it

I am the biggest animal lover you’ll meet but when the animal is valued more than the safety of the guests, then I just have zero patience for that.

Annoying issue..how to address it

My best friend’s dog has bit my dd a couple of times. I love animals and try to be understanding because the dog came from a hoarding situation but if we are going over I just ask him to be put away. If he’s not then we don’t go in. I can’t take irresponsible pet owners.

Re: Annoying issue..how to address it

I would be concerned the mom didn’t call you. Major scratches like that should have been noticed by her and she should have mentioned it and apologized. How well is she supervising the children and animals during the play date? That would be my bigger concern.

I get that she may let the kids play in the other room but in the very least she should have heard the commotion or seen your sons face and called you or brought it up. Her lack of understanding that this is a problem is the problem in my mind. That’s not laid back, it’s bad judgement.

Re: Annoying issue..how to address it

Re: Annoying issue..how to address it

Annoying issue..how to address it

That would be completely unacceptable for me. When we had a dog, we would make every effort to keep her away from guests (children and adults) to prevent her from accidentally or intentionally hurting someone. She was always either outside or in her own fenced off area in the house. I would have felt beyond terrible if she had bit someone or scratched up a child's face. And I would seriously doubt the sanity of a woman who can clearly see that her dog scratched up a childs face and blew it off like it was nothing. I would not let my child go over there again.

And p.s. for some people a dog is a pet, and for some it's their baby, and they would never think of putting the dog in a crate or another room. We have family members who are like that with their dogs and always leave them out around our kids because they dont want the dog to feel sad for the short while we are there visiting them. Even though they can clearly see that toddlers and overactive dogs aren't always a good mix. We have stopped visiting because our kids' safety is important to us. Not sure how this woman thinks of her dog. But even if it is her "baby" she still cant let it scratch up a childs face. And even if she gets offended if you say something, then she wasnt that good of a friend to begin with. Because she should definitely have been more concerned and apologetic that your child was hurt while under her supervision.

Message edited 12/2/2018 6:42:49 AM.

Re: Annoying issue..how to address it

Re: Annoying issue..how to address it

This is just not acceptable to me. I love dogs. But you need to be a responsible pet owner, to both your pet, and others. The fact that she could not call you or care about the safety of your child means to me she is not a friend. She is a terrible person, who I would have to reevaluate our friendship. I would choose my child over her pet every time, I would not go to her house, and really question the friendship.

Re: Annoying issue..how to address it

Re: Annoying issue..how to address it

She actually just called me to check in. Yesterday when I picked him up I was in a rush so I didn’t really get a chance to talk to her about it. She was profusely apologetic and, without me saying anything, assured me the dog would be put away when he’s there. She also said the dog is a rescue and has a lot of anxiety which has only been getting worse and she is going to address it with the vet. She seemed genuinely upset about it. I’m glad she reached out to me because I do value their friendship and I didnt want this to be a thing. Based on our conversation it’s clear she feels the same way so hopefully this won’t be an issue anymore.

Re: Annoying issue..how to address it

Re: Annoying issue..how to address it

Re: Annoying issue..how to address it

Annoying issue..how to address it

I'm glad to know she addressed it and plans to prevent it from happening again. That so bizarre to me that she would blow it off like it was nothing.