Problems in class

My son is in Pre-K class and there is one kid at his table that is giving him trouble. My son starting tell me things like X keeps coming too close to me when we play and X keeps taking things out of my hands and hurting me. So I brought it up to his teacher and she said that they would keep a close eye on X.

This morning at arrival, she tells me that they were exercising yesterday and X hit my son in the back adn she stayed next to my son the rest of class. She thinks that she is going to move my son to a different table. I said he should be fine - just explain it to him.

DH went ballistic. Why should our son be punished for X's actions? I should have spoken to the mother when it first started...on and on and on.

I'm like the teacher is handling it. She is coming to us with the problems and telling us solutions and we should let her handle it. Its not like she is hiding it. She is being upfront with us.

Am I wrong? I am upset that this is happening. Should I be more upset? My son is in a half day program.

Problems in class

Is moving tables really a punishment? The teachers actions sound appropriate, and I don't see what talking to the child's mother would do because she's not present when this is happening. This is an issue for the teacher to handle, and it sounds like she is communicating with you (and hopefully the other child's mother) about the situation and taking steps to make the situation better.

Problems in class

Kids move tables all the time, it's not a punishment for your son. Sounds like the teacher is on top of things.

Problems in class

Sounds like kids being kids, albeit the other kid is a bit too much. If they were 10 then yes, the punishment would be greater but these are little kids. I don’t see what the teacher is supposed to do beyond move tables. That’s not punishing your son.

I would never go above the teacher to the other kid’s mother and say something. What would the mother do anyway? I’m sure she’s not telling her son “go hit your classmates.”

Re: Problems in class

No disrespect to your DH but he needs to calm down or else he will be in for years of stress. As a stepmom of a 21yr and 10 yr old boy, thing can get a lot worse. Boys will be boys and I think the teacher is handling it correctly.

It could be many reasons why she is moving your son and not the other kid. Maybe they are in the front table next to her and she needs the offender to stay there. Maybe there is a table that would be more beneficial for your son with the kids at that table. My son sits in the front as necessity and they do change seats a lot.

Also never approach a mom, the offense didn’t warrant it and if it did let the teacher/school handle it first. Next step if the issue isn’t getting resolved is sitting all together with the teachers. I would never confront a parent directly on a school incident unless I exhausted all avenues. Parents can get offended easily and it will be unecessaay confrontation for something minor at this point.


ETA: to answer your questions, you are not wrong and handling perfectly fine. Your DH is being dramatic, sometimes I get like that and my DH has to tell me to calm the heck down.

Message edited 10/24/2018 12:04:16 PM.

Re: Problems in class

That's what I thought too. I didn't see it as punishment either but DH goes the extreme on everything. It drives me crazy and it bothers me even more when DS is involved.

He spoke to DS' teacher at dismissal and I told DH that he better speak calmly to her or risk DS being very upset. That flipped a switch. The teacher already moved my son to the front of the room and said that DS was excited to be closer to her. So that was good. And the teacher reassured DH that they see that X is very overzealous and that the mother has been made aware.

Thank you everyone!

Re: Problems in class

Always let the school attempt to handle these things first. If you go "above" them right to the parent, then you basically remove the school from the conversation and moving forward, take away any "power" they have in helping you and your child.

Also, this is minor. This is half day Pre-K. Wait. And your DH needs to calm down or hes in for a WORLD if issues with school stuff and other kids in the future. This is 4 year olds being 4 year olds.

Re: Problems in class

The only thing i could see your DH side on is why does your DS need to be moved but not X?

X is causing the issue so he should be the one who has to move. DS should not have to be inconvenience/punished and go to a new table if he likes everyone else at it (assuming there is more than 2 kids at one table)


I think everything else is being handled correctly


With that said I read through the post and I see that your DS does not mind being moved and he was excited so I would be fine with it.

Re: Problems in class

Re: Problems in class

I think in pre-k kids get moved around all the time to sit with other kids - it is not a punishment for your son

Problems in class

I am a Pre-K teacher in a Catholic school. We switch kids all the time. It isn't even 2 months into the school year and we have switched things up a couple of times. I do it partly so kids can experience sitting with different children at snack/lunch, and partly because some kids just don't mesh well together and they do better at separate tables. I never use it as a punishment.

Re: Problems in class

Re: Problems in class

I would expect the entire class to move around the classroom a few times a year. If the kid doing the hitting has special needs that require him near the front of the room, or near the teacher they can't disclose that to you.

Re: Problems in class

Thank you all. After my husband spoke to my son's teacher he felt better. She reassured him that everything would be fine and she ended up rearranging 2 tables that day.

Yesterday, I was picking up DS from school and I just casually asked his teacher how he did in his new seat. She said he did fine and that DS may tell me that X had to leave and to make sure he was ok. Apparently they called the mom to take him home because there was an incident. I feel bad for the kid. I just don't think he's ready for Pre-K just yet as much as his mom wants him to go.