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How do you handle Pre-Teen drama
***I am going to preface this by saying, they all have phones, but this isn't about the phone or whether or not they have them, they all do, lol.
We live in the city and my son is in 6th grade. We had moved the summer before 5th grade, so when he registered for 6th grade, he got zoned for a different school than his friends. He actually really likes his new school and has made friends.
They all have stayed pretty much in contact with each other. My son has a 'girlfriend' and she and the rest of their 'crew' all go together to another middle school. One of the other girls has been freezing my son out, including blocking him on the 'girlfriend's' cell phone. We told my son to contact her on another platform (Snapchat) and say he wants to talk to her. She unblocked him and texted him back and everything seems to be ok. But I know it isn't over yet
But it sucks. He was so upset. Obviously they're all too old to really get involved but I get stumped on how to handle this all...other than being supportive...
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Posted 9/24/18 3:13 PM  |
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How do you handle Pre-Teen drama
I think you are doing the best thing, being supportive of him, giving him advice and helping him along the way. That’s really all a teen needs from a parent is their support and guidance without judgement! Life sucks sometimes and things happen in relationships and this will help him learn to navigate relationships
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| Posted 9/24/18 5:41 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
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..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: How do you handle Pre-Teen drama
Wait so it's not his "girlfriend" that blocked him, it's her friend who blocked him on this girl's phone?
Does he have any idea why?
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| Posted 9/24/18 10:43 PM |
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Adri
Joy!
Member since 5/05 3116 total posts
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A
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Re: How do you handle Pre-Teen drama
Posted by TwinMommyToBoys
I think you are doing the best thing, being supportive of him, giving him advice and helping him along the way. That’s really all a teen needs from a parent is their support and guidance without judgement! Life sucks sometimes and things happen in relationships and this will help him learn to navigate relationships
Yes, I agree. DS is a young 8th grader now (only 12), and I feel if I do a judgmental comment he will stop sharing things with me. So far no girlfriends, but his own things. Something I try to do, is to share stuff that happened to me, and how it all turned out to be fine. Your DS will be fine, but I know it hurts to see that happening 
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| Posted 9/24/18 10:59 PM |
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Re: How do you handle Pre-Teen drama
Posted by NervousNell
Wait so it's not his "girlfriend" that blocked him, it's her friend who blocked him on this girl's phone?
Does he have any idea why?
He says she's bossy and controlling of the 'girlfriend'
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| Posted 9/25/18 11:27 AM |
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busymomonli
Resident Insomniac
Member since 4/13 2046 total posts
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How do you handle Pre-Teen drama
I don't have any advice as I have been through that stage, all you can do is be there for advice and to monitor what is going on.
If it makes you feel any better, I have a 16 year old and a 19 year old and the current topics of conversations in my house are: Dab pens, Juuls, Tinder hookups, birth control, and drinking. It progresses fast!
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| Posted 9/25/18 1:56 PM |
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itsagoodlife
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/15 619 total posts
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Re: How do you handle Pre-Teen drama
This is why children should not be on social media. Snapchat, Instagram... Middle schoolers cannot handle it. I personally would make him delete those apps. It will only get worse in high school, trust me. I have 2 in middle school and one in high school. My 10th grader JUST got snapchat this year.
Message edited 9/26/2018 11:01:30 AM.
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| Posted 9/26/18 11:00 AM |
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curley999
Family!
Member since 5/05 2314 total posts
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How do you handle Pre-Teen drama
I have 6th and 9th grade DDs all you can do it talk and offer support and empathy with these situation. I find they shut down and stop taking if I react too strongly to the drama. Just try to coaching the best you can
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| Posted 9/26/18 11:14 AM |
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Millie3
LIF Adult
Member since 7/13 1280 total posts
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Re: How do you handle Pre-Teen drama
Posted by itsagoodlife
This is why children should not be on social media. Snapchat, Instagram... Middle schoolers cannot handle it. I personally would make him delete those apps. It will only get worse in high school, trust me. I have 2 in middle school and one in high school. My 10th grader JUST got snapchat this year.
Agree, I try to minimize school friend drama my sons by surrounding them with my friends kids and their cousins all the time lol
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| Posted 9/26/18 7:31 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
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Re: How do you handle Pre-Teen drama
Posted by itsagoodlife
This is why children should not be on social media. Snapchat, Instagram... Middle schoolers cannot handle it. I personally would make him delete those apps. It will only get worse in high school, trust me. I have 2 in middle school and one in high school. My 10th grader JUST got snapchat this year.
I do agree with this. My 6th grader has zero drama because she has zero social media. She has plenty of friends, she just doesn't talk to them on social media.
As far as the situation, I have no idea...but I think it's a little busy body for the girl's friend to be deleting your son. How controlling!
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| Posted 9/26/18 7:42 PM |
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Re: How do you handle Pre-Teen drama
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by itsagoodlife
This is why children should not be on social media. Snapchat, Instagram... Middle schoolers cannot handle it. I personally would make him delete those apps. It will only get worse in high school, trust me. I have 2 in middle school and one in high school. My 10th grader JUST got snapchat this year.
I do agree with this. My 6th grader has zero drama because she has zero social media. She has plenty of friends, she just doesn't talk to them on social media.
As far as the situation, I have no idea...but I think it's a little busy body for the girl's friend to be deleting your son. How controlling!
I think you have to know your child. My son barely uses social media, and we can trust him. My SO's son, everything is blocked because he got out of control with it. We have SmartFamily on their phones and I check them physically constantly.
As for Snapchat, I checked it Sunday, he had 700 unread messages dating back to JULY, so clearly he's not that active on it
Anyway, it seems to be ok for now, he was playing Fortnite last night with her and was happy about it.
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| Posted 9/27/18 10:10 AM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
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fka LIW Smara
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Re: How do you handle Pre-Teen drama
I wouldn't put too much stock into it. Just be supportive like you have been. Trust me its only going to get worse, my stepson is about to be 21. And if your son is sensitive like my stepson is, he is in for many of heart breaks.
As long as he isnt being bullied, isnt bullying anyone and is respectful to girls - you are doing the right thing and do not need get involved. I also was on my stepson about safe sex and pregnancies, even though he wasnt having sex yet. This was one of my fears especially since his dad and mom had him young. Boys have no say if they get a girl pregnant.
These are hard ages.
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| Posted 9/27/18 2:01 PM |
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