Shocking Secrets People Take to the Grave

We found out today that my grandma had a baby that she gave up for adoption when she was 8 months old! My mom was around 2 at the time, and my grandma and grandpa (who I never knew), split up, and each parent took one child. My mom stayed with Grandma. My grandpa was being deployed and couldn't care for the baby, and my grandma didn't want her back, so they gave her up for adoption to a family that lived in Idaho (we are from Michigan). We found this all out today when my newly found cousin contacted my mom on Facebook. Apparently her and her mom have been searching for years, and found my mom through some Facebook searching group that helps people reunite! So crazy, right?!

My grandma and grandpa gave the adoptive parents a picture of them together with mom as a baby, and wrote their names on the back in case she ever wanted to find them when she was older. Everything lead to dead ends for the past 7 years she said. My grandma NEVER told anyone about this, not even my other 5 aunts and uncles that she had after my mom was born. My grandma passed away 2 years ago and took this secret to the grave, so we are all shocked! SO shocked!

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That is so crazy! I know I have a few secrets that I have not told many people. I guess everyone just leads their life.

Shocking Secrets People Take to the Grave

Wow! I can’t imagine! That’s crazy! But I’m so happy they have been reunited! I hope they can continue to develop a relationship!
I just can’t imagine all those years not a word!

Shocking Secrets People Take to the Grave

That's nuts. A few years ago my mom found out her dad (he died when she was a teenager) was married to someone else prior to marrying my grandmother and had a daughter with the first wife. The first wife died. My mother knew nothing of this half sister and has no idea if my grandmother (who died 10 years ago) ever knew. The half sister died several years ago but her children apparently live somewhere on LI. All of this came to light through ancestry.com. I think it would be cool to meet them but my mom doesn't seem all that interested.

Shocking Secrets People Take to the Grave

Wow. I can't believe she was able to keep that a secret all this time. It is amazing how people can find each other these days.

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Not surprised at all. Families keep these secrets to preserve status quo. My grandmother is still alive but confessed only 15 years ago to my mom that her sister (my aunt) is really a half sister because my grandma had a short affair with a worker on her farm overseas 2 years after my mom was born. Everyone assumed my grandmothers husband at the time was the father. My aunt doesn’t know but I suspect she wonders because she has Asian features and lighter skin than anyone else in the family.

Message edited 7/8/2018 9:41:20 PM.

Re: Shocking Secrets People Take to the Grave

My mom took the same secret to her grave. Turns out she gave up a son for adoption when my sister was 2 and before I was born.

I am hoping one of those ancestry dna will match me to my brother

ETA: that’s so crazy about your story and how they connected on FB

Message edited 7/8/2018 11:14:08 PM.

Re: Shocking Secrets People Take to the Grave

Posted by Sash

My mom took the same secret to her grave. Turns out she gave up a son for adoption when my sister was 2 and before I was born.

I am hoping one of those ancestry dna will match me to my brother

ETA: that’s so crazy about your story and how they connected on FB

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I don't know much about my family's secrets.

DH does not know his biological father. His mom never told him and the only person left alive who knew him won't give up his full name. She did give up that DH looks like his bio dad, has the same mannerisms and has some half siblings. This I find kind of sad, DH grew up as an only child but with lots of cousins. Still, he feels like an only child.

MIL was married once before, in Ohio. This we found out when we filed her SS death benefit - a different last name came up with her SS number. Apparently she never changed it once she divorced and got remarried to DH's step dad. We don't know how she wound up in Ohio, just that she worked in a factory during WW2.

FIL abandoned his 2 biological children in 1958. I know all about them, found paperwork when I cleaned out the apartment.
FIL was having an affair with MIL's best friend in the 70's. MIL received an anonymous letter about it and apparently kept he old dog.

This I wish remained a secret :

Apparently my in-laws liked sex toys.
Found them all (say it with me now EEEWWWWW !) when I was cleaning out their apartment.
Given that MIL was born in 1925 and FIL in 1933,those should have been gotten rid of a long time ago.

Message edited 7/9/2018 9:02:04 AM.

Re: Shocking Secrets People Take to the Grave

I found out my Great Aunt (Grandma's sister) had a baby when she was young and gave it up for adoption. Unfortunately, we have no information and can't even try to track it down.

Re: Shocking Secrets People Take to the Grave

Posted by BargainMama

Posted by Sash

My mom took the same secret to her grave. Turns out she gave up a son for adoption when my sister was 2 and before I was born.

I am hoping one of those ancestry dna will match me to my brother

ETA: that’s so crazy about your story and how they connected on FB

Wow!! The name of the group on FB is called "Search Squad". Apparently they are pretty hardcore in locating adopted out individuals! You should join it!

So tonight, my mom was talking to her neighbor. The neighbor said, wow, I'm surprised she never said anything, not even as she was on her death bed, and something about writing letters. Well that triggered a memory from my mom. She said while she was at my Grandma's cleaning up and taking care of her while she was on morphine in her final weeks. My grandma was mumbling something about adoption and she couldn't believe she never got any letters over the years and something about someone trying to find her. My mom thought she was just talking about something on TV at the time. Especially since she was on Morphine. She didn't think anything of it and pretty much forgot about it until tonight! Sad to me that my Grandma may have potentially wanted to meet her daughter, but died before that could happen

Shocking Secrets People Take to the Grave

Wow that is so crazy! My family doesn't have any secrets that I know of, but DH's side (he is from Switzerland), his great-aunt supposedly had an affair with Prince Egon von Furstenburg (DVF's ex-husband).

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I recently found out that my great aunt had a baby out of wedlock that was given up for an unofficial adoption. The baby was handed to his adoptive parents in the back of a church (my grandparents' parish at the time) in Brooklyn. Thanks to 23 and Me, we've also figured out that his father was a priest.

My entire, very Irish-Catholic family all just rolled in their graves because I posted this.

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Some lady keeps on trying to converse with me because my niece did a 23 and me test and there is some way my father is connected to her. I DON"T WANT TO KNOW and I refuse to do these tests. Somethings are better left unknown.

Shocking Secrets People Take to the Grave

A family member of mine doesn’t know her dad isn’t her dad. He never told her and no one in my family knows I know since I was so young at the time. Every time she mentions doing an ancestry test I change the subject as I don’t want her hurt.

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Re: Shocking Secrets People Take to the Grave

Shocking Secrets People Take to the Grave

These stories are crazy!
I found out at my uncle’s wake that my dad was engaged to someone else before he met my mom. Some lady (who was the ex fiancés cousin) came over to me when she realized who my parents are. She proceeded to tell me about this ex fiancé, that her and my dad were a perfect couple, how beautiful she was and what a shame it was that they didn’t end up together. She said all this in front of my aunt (my mom’s sister) and I. I wanted to punch the woman in the face. I swear people have no common sense.

Shocking Secrets People Take to the Grave

My family has a secret. A sibling of mine got pregnant while separated from their spouse. Her and the spouse got back together (but years later divorced), and he has raised the baby as his own. He knows it is not his baby, and my whole family knows, but the child (now 23) does not. I mean, in my eyes he is the dad, he lives with the child and is paying for college and has always been there.

Also, my brother has a child from a first marriage. He signed away his rights when he was very young and they were divorcing. The girl, now 29, reached out to me recently to rekindle the relationship with her dad. Unfortunately, he did not want to do it. His wife does not know that she contacted any of us and he won't tell her. Sad really.

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Have you seen Despicable Me 3? That's basically the same story line! That is really crazy! It's so nuts that your grandmother wouldn't take her back when your grandfather had to leave. What the heck was that about?? Don't you wish you could ask her??

There are no real "secrets" per se in my family that I know of anyway but my mom was adopted by my grandfather after her bio dad left my grandmother. Nobody ever discusses that. It's taboo. But like others, my brother was contacted by someone claiming to be our cousin through Ancestry.com and she has the same last name as my mother's bio dad so it's probably true.

Shocking Secrets People Take to the Grave

My great uncle was married once before the wife I know as my great aunt. His children do not know and this was 60 years ago. He also had a child but nobody knows if this was the first wife's kid or someone else...that child ( middle aged man now) found my great aunt a while back...my uncle has been dead for quite a while. She knew he was married before, but did not know about the child.

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Shocking Secrets People Take to the Grave

And WOW at these stories!!

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I don't know my whole story, but I recently found out at my grandmothers wake that we had a secret like these. It wasn't my grandmother, but she kept the secret as if it was her own. We only found out bc the "baby" contacted my uncle on Facebook. Then he showed up at my grandmothers wake haha that's when we all found out.